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QUESTION:
"Am I overreacting My son is 14 has a (quote girlfriend) it started as going to the mall, movies, arcade (chaperoned) my one rule was don’t ask me to go over her house and she cannot come over. However, one day she has a pool party kids are going over. I speak to the mom she told me they’d be out at the pool and there would be multiple adults there chaperoning. Fast forward, he asks another time to go over because the mom was making dinner I said no. The girls mother then calls me an asks if he can come over. I told her that I don’t like the idea of my 14 year old going over to a females house. Hanging out chaperoned I’m barley ok with that but that’s it for now. She told me that she would be there an her husband an that they wouldn’t be left alone. She said (WE DONT have a finished basement so they’d be on the couch where the tv is) so I asked my son when he came home how was it an what he did? He told me that him an the girl watched movies in the BASEMENT! I said what!!! He said the tv was brought down from her bedroom and the parents were watching tv upstairs on the couch!!! I’m livid because she flat out told me my son wouldn’t be unsupervised at anytime! I told her That I didn’t want my son left alone with her daughter or any girl at any time he’s too young yet. But they allowed it!!! I’m never letting him back over there but would you call her or wait an see if she calls an asks for him to come back over? I just can’t get past Leaving 2 14 year olds alone in a basement for multiple hours!It’s not that I don’t trust my kid however what if the girl now comes back an says he did something to her or touched her inappropriately it his word against hers I’m so mad"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"My son is also 14 and he hangs out at his girlfriends house all the time. He knows what I’ve taught him and I’m confident in that. You are raising a son that’s going to hide stuff and be distant."
"Think there are bigger issues here if you are worried she would lie and say your son touched her. Who goes right to that?"
"Deff overreacting. Unfortunately strict parents create sneaky kids."
"They're 14. The daughter probably set all that up. You should be happy that your son is so open and honest with you. But if you continue to overreact like that he will just sneak out and hide it from you."
"I personally feel like your overreacting! I’m sure the parents didint just leave the kids unsupervised the whole entire time! I’m sure they checked on them to make sure they were okay and being kids. Being this overprotective of your child will cause your child to be very sneaky in the long run. Trust your child."
"Its okay to be concerned, but you should learn how to trust your kid to make the right decisions… Teach him right from wrong. He should know about puberty/sex by now. You can’t control his every move because he will probably end up rebelling and sneaking around later on."
"Why are you over reacting so badly and why on earth would you not want to welcome your son's girlfriend into your home? And get to know her. You need to grow up a lot. I really feel for your son and your lack or trust in him!."
"At the end of the day if he wants to get up to something his going to do it regardless. Maybe have a little trust in him."
"1) I would be upset about being lied to. 2) Ease up."
"Shelter your son too much, and rebellion will be your reward. Put some trust in him…you might be surprised."
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