Yeah I’d leave him. He has no impulse control if he’s dating u and paying for porn on only fans men like that are untrustworthy
That’s a red flag I would have to let him go
Throw the whole dude away
Don’t you have to pay for that? I’d be saying bye bye
I dont mind my husband watching porn or looking on OnlyFans. Never cheated and we swap phones so often have nothing to hide. Told him to go to the strip club whenever wants. He hasn’t been in 3 years. Needs a guy’s night However…being friendly with his ex and secretive…red flags.
The chatting with the ex, red flag…
The OF payments tho… It’s just a paid subscription to someone’s content creating. Unless he’s trying to have sex with the content creators he’s paying to see, he’s just looking at expensive porn. IMHO it’s kinda NBD
I’m still friends with my ex, nothing sexual. We learned that we were better off as friends, BUT the guy in this story is paying his ex for nudes or another girl? That’s a nono. If he wants to spend money on them he can be with them.
Nope, as soon as I saw he still talks to his ex and the header of “only fans”. He needs to go!!!
Tell him you’re not comfortable with it. Idk if you’ve been dating for 3 years or if you were just talking for 3 years but still doing your own things and just recently started dating… if you’ve been just talking and recently started dating, set your boundaries now. If you’ve been dating for 3 years he’s been doing shit behind your back, leave.
You’re not boyfriend/girlfriends if you were just talking, especially for 3 years.
If you’re not in a relationship, he doesn’t owe you anything and you can’t get mad at him for anything like that.
If you were in a relationship and that hadn’t been talked about or boundaries hadn’t been set, you can’t get mad at him for that.
Porn is porn. Everyone watches it. It isn’t cheating.
Talking for 3 years?!
Sounds like his ex gave him the boot, so now he’s shacked up with you. This dude wants to have his cake at eat it too, establish boundaries and if he can’t respect it then it’s time to let him go.
You HAVE EVRY right to be mad , why is he paying girls for pictures when your in a committed relationship
I personally have absolutely no problem with my Husband watching porn, however I do draw the line at paying and I definitely draw the line at only fans because these are real people. You can contact them and ask them to do what you want them to do…that’s not the same as porn to me. Porn are actors on a screen you’ll never really communicate with, only fans is way more personal.
Idc if my husband watches porn, but if he were watching only fans I’d have to leave … paying for personal content feels like cheating in my book
You have a right to feel however. That said, not every body on OF is naked.
If you feel some type of way outside of that, way are you wasting each other’s time?
So I would say you don’t necessarily get the right to be mad but it is something that if it bothers you does warrants a conversation. But I would say if he still communicating with his ex and they don’t have children together then that would be a red flag for sure
Absolutely bullshit. My current husband spent 4 grand of our tax refund last year on a site called livehdcams.com behind my back.
Talking? Not dating? For three years? Hmmm I’d move on
If you have doubts, Don’t !
I’d be upset I’m not gonna lie and he knows it. I have access to his stuff I see that charge all his shit going out the window including him.
Why is he paying for pics? Dude there is plenty on the internet free so that’s a lil shady, and I’d be doubtful the ex is just a friend at this point with hiding his phone…but that’s just me
Dump that and move on 100 percent red flags don’t look back !!! You do not want to go down that road !! Ps if anything use protection 100 percent but honestly I wouldn’t even think about it find a guy who busy working to get into trouble and has their priorities in line
He not one don’t let him move in you be sorry down the road
You have every right to be mad! He shouldn’t be in a relationship if he’s being entertained by other women at all… in any way. Pictures, videos, whatever! If he’s watching videos or looking at pictures of other women he’s not committed to you!
theres a lot here.
you have a right to feel whatever it is you feel. your feelings are valid.
have you guys discussed this? is he following people he knows in real life? does that matter to you? do yall share finances. what exactly do you mean by “talking” for 3 years? is this a serious relationship? I think it depends on a lot.
You can feel any way you want to- I think paying for stuff is absolutely ridiculous especially since porn is free. So I’d want to know what justifies paying . If you have the I don’t trust you vibes -trust that feeling. He’s doing something that you aren’t going to be ok with. No man is ever going to admit to being a player/douchebag. If he can’t let his phone down it’s because he doesn’t want you to see something. I would wait to move him in. If he’s not asking or wanting to move forward after 3 years why are YOU pushing for it. Enjoy your freedom and independence.
Doesn’t sound like you’re that serious and he probably feels it. So he is going to feel like he can do whatever he wants. Personally if you’ve been “talking” 3 years and haven’t established anything more serious then it’s not going to be anything more ever and you should just move on.
Yes,you have the right to be MAD, if that’s something you don’t like!
Tell him how it make you feel, If he doesn’t change then get rid of him!
I didn’t even need to read the rest. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be having an only fans
Fk yeah you got a right to be mad he’s paying for that sh*t lol
Ya that’s a big hell to the fuck no for me.
You can’t just watch only fans… you gotta pay for it
Nope… None of this.
He should remain single if wants to entertain other women (in-person, thru texts or DMs, and/or online) — and DEFINITELY if he pays them for their digital adult “content”. Gross.
Move on and find a man that knows how to put you first.
You don’t move someone in that u just talk to…your wording makes it sound like a real weird situation that u put yourself in. If he’s paying some girl for her ONLYFANS, he isn’t a smart person and you don’t want to ever have babies with that man…or even a future. You are wasting your time.
Leave him to it find someone else who will respect you
Crazy. My other mom’s groups literally shame women for being upset about their partners watching porn because it’s “normal.” I’m so glad you have women telling you the truth in this one! If it’s a boundary, tell him and don’t waste your time anymore.
See i have no problem with regular adult movies but lives or only fans no i have a problem with that he’s paying for it nope boy bye
I only needed to read the first sentence.
Yes girl you have every damn right to be mad.
Onlyfans can be people he actually knows and that’s no different than secretly snap chatting or meeting them in person. IMO.
I don’t bash content creators at all. Just don’t think it should be viewed in a relationship, unless that relationship allows it. Onlyfans is single status to me. esp since you have to pay for it.
He could simply watch free porn but instead he decided to pay a girl for specific content. That’s cheating sis.
You deserve better.
Done girl. So many red flags
And I don’t even know the full story
Yeah. No point mentioning it. Won’t make a difference. People do what they wanna do regardless how it makes you feel.
I don’t really know how to feel about onlyfans. I think that porn is completely different and much less harmless because the videos are made for adult entertainment where as in the case of onlyfans, they are paying for specific accounts, etc. I would ask about it and if he can’t be honest with you then I would for sure not entertain the idea of him moving in. He’s supposed to be your boyfriend and if you are in a monogamous relationship that means you and and only you and no one else. I don’t like secrets. One thing you can expect is how is today is how he will be 5 years from now and if you aren’t comfortable now you wont be in a couple years. Just food for thought.
Girl be single there’s sooo many red flags
GIRLLLLL you’re kidding right?!
He should remain single if he wants to put money into stuff like that. Tell him to end it or hit the road!
Boyfriend material (hardly) maybe? If your okay with that kinda stuff.
The fact that it bothers you tells me your not.
Never ever ever would he be partner/spouse/father material.
He better be paying you for your time as well sweetie.
Know your worth.
Imo its nothing more than porn. And its ok if youre not ok with it. But theres nothing wrong with it. Most men and women enjoy some kind “entertainment” wether it be playboy, pornhub, only fans, or those steamy romance novels.
F that. Dump him. That’s like live stuff. So many men are pigs. Not all but most.
Run like hell and what is only fans
In my relationship, if he has to pay, or talk with someone, or is looking at someone’s personal account because he wants their content, that’s cheating. If he’s watching porn or random videos that’s fine. But engaging with another person like that outside of our relationship is cheating to me.
I would not like that at allllllllll
I’d be more mad he was paying for porn when he could watch it on porn hub for free…
You’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend going on 3years &just now starting to talk/see each other daily… uhhmmmmm…
I’d be very angry he’s paying to see other girl instead of bring with mv
The signs are there. Be careful could be trouble afoot
Is he investing more money in you?
You deserve better than him and his secrecy
Here for the comments
Kick him to the curb and move on.
What’s the difference him signing up to only fans and watching a girl do stuff for him or someone he knows sending him vids of her doing it? Only the price… I’d be mad and wouldnt put up with it
you know this answer, you don’t need us to tell you.
Leave, porn is free and if he wants to watch it he can. Spending money on it is a whole other thing which I don’t agree to (personally). But you’re already noticing things you’re not comfortable/happy with, which is where you need to protect yourself and need to know when it’s enough for you to leave
Make your own onlyfans if he gets mad then he should be on there either!!
If he’s already being secretive and spending money on something like that I would talk to him and tell him your not ok with him going on only fans spending money that he can get for free from you.My own belief is that if in a commuted relationship you or your partner shouldn’t be paying money to get off on someone else unless it’s talked about and agreed on before hand.If he’s not talking to his ex alot and it’s just a hello or whatever sometimes just keep your eyes open but let him know you don’t like it just so he knows where you stand in everything.I would also ask for proof to see how often he’s doing only fans if it’s not often he will most likely stop but if it’s alot I wouldnt believe it
Only fans is cheating to me. You have a right to be upset about whatever upsets you. It’s your choice what you accept and don’t.
You have every right to decide what you are and are not comfortable with. One question I’d want answered is how frequently he spends money on it and similar sites. There’s plenty of free porn out there, so I’m unsure why he’s paying?
It’s possible that he didn’t tell you because he thought you’d get upset. It’s also possible that he believes every guy views porn so of course he will too.
How do you feel about porn? Does it feel like cheating? Does it feel creepy? Is it something you’re fine with as long as everyone is consenting and at least 18? Are you concerned that it can shape sexual expectations?
There are so many opinions on this topic. I don’t want to push you in any one direction; my goal is to ask some questions to help you find your answers.
You have a right to have feelings.
To me having Onlyfans while in a relationship is cheating.
what’s onlyfans mean lol
I mean you can be mad. You can do whatever you want. That being said I guess if it’s coming down to financials I’d be irritated. But if you’re going to look at stuff for free as long as you know it’s just “us” and they’re just “pictures” that’s all that matters. If you’re worried it’s more than him just looking that’s a whole another story.
This early in your relationship, the only fan he should have is you.
They don’t live together. They aren’t married. He has a right to do with his money as he pleases. Dating doesn’t give you the right to control what someone does with their money.
I don’t like sneaky stuff so that would irritate me. I’d have no issues watching it with him but be sneaky and I become a real bitch.
no different than paring for p0rn, movies , games. or s*x toys etc etc .
if u arent living together, sharing the money, or have kids together then u cant tell him what he does with his money, hes only looking , its not like he can meet these people.
I would ask him about it and if you want to discuss the boundaries of it that would be the best thing. I have an OnlyFans and make content. There are times the rebill may be left on. It’s a more personal experience vs pornhub but it’s still porn. We content creators do not want out subscribers what do ever. This is a big boundary you need to discuss with him. For instance my husband watches it and buys other girls. I create it as well. Obviously if there’s a spending issue then we discuss that. But you should go over ALL sore subjects.
Talk to your damn boyfriend. Not some random internet folks.
Don’t he know that pornhub is free, instead?
Dating or not … you are finding out what he likes … SEE IT.
I promise - moving in or married - nothing changes, it only gets worse … I promise.
I’m sorry he’s doing this to you.
BTW - the fact he is secretive with his phone = BIG CLUE
Only fans is not free. It’s a site u can go into look at the faces of the young girls and if u want to see more of her u pay to see it. As far as I’m concerned it’s a prostitution site
He sounds like a bad idea. I’m getting lying/cheating vibes already. You definitely have a right to be upset but even when you’re not sure, I say always go with your gut. If you don’t feel right about things then you’re probably picking up on something.
You don’t have to justify shit. Just trust yourself.
You deserve better. Level up girl.
So he’s literally paying to see another woman. Ew.
Paying to watch other naked women? That would NOT fly with me, home girl.
If he is secretive with his phone run now! I have been with a guy for 16 years never worried about his phone, but then he did guess why he was talking to other girls!
It’s not much different than going to a strip club I don’t think depends what your comfortable with. I’d be more concerned if he was lying about it !
Girlll he spending big money watching some fantasy shit u should feel some kind of way
Run he is not the one.
You set the boundaries in your relationship. For me, yes I would be PISSED, as would my husband if the show were on the other foot. To me it is cheating, but that is my relationship. Everyone is different, but no one on here has the right to tell you how to feel or what is or isn’t acceptable in your relationship. That is for you to decide.
I’m sorry the fact that you feel need the need to snoop through his stuff, says alot about you. If I have done nothing to break the trust in my relationship and I someone felt the need to go through me phone or accused me of being secretive when we dont even live together yet is a huge red flag. You got trust issues. Your either ready or your not. If you dont feel comfortable moving in for whatever reason then don’t do it
l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16860 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
What do you mean you’ve been talking for 3 years? Are you exclusive? If so for how long? The answer you’re looking for depends on the facts
If you have doubts he isn’t the one
l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $13862 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
You are always entitled to feel however you feel. Maybe have a conversation about your insecurities and boundaries, and decide from there. Y’all may not be at the same place emotionally. Good luck
Lame. He should just go out and meet people to fuck. Instead of paying for a tease.