Not sure how to feel or if I should be mad. So me & my boyfriend have been talking for about 3 years recently he started to come over everyday we talked about him moving in. However I have my doubts about him & his ex still talking he says they don’t talk like that but I don’t know. It bothers me he’s so secretive with his phone. Today I was helping him with something in his bank account & I seen a charge for only fans & I wasn’t sure if I had the right to be mad or feel some type of way about it.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be mad my boyfriend watches onlyfans?
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Yes but ONLY because it’s stupid to pay for T&A when that shits free all over the internet!
Don’t you pay for onlyfans? I’d be pissed. It’s not the same as looking up porn real fast to get off. He’s paying to see a certain person and that would be fucked.
My bf did that & I was furioussss. Like I lost it lol I was so mad. Porn idc but something about only fans and being able to talk to them personally on the app.
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Only fans is personal so yes
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Every relationship is different. i would be mad and with the secrecy of his phone yes i would be suspicious. My man and I have open phones. I don’t hide anything and he doesn’t either… and he doesn’t watch porn. Paying for porn would make me mad af too. You need to have a talk about what you expect in this relationship!
Why the fuck he paying for it if it’s free on the Hub??? Who pays for it?? Lmao I could never
You definitely have the right .
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Phones and social media ruin relationships now days.
If it makes you uncomfortable and you’ve expressed your feelings about the situation to him and he has no sympathy or desire to change his actions, then leave.
He won’t ever put your feelings first and he will always be secretive.
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Secretive about phone 
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Yeah, I’d be fucking pissed.
To me, it doesn’t sound like you guys are actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Talking for 3 years and he just started coming over everyday? Unless you guys have had that talk to be exclusive, you have no right to be mad.
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Yea u got every right to be mad. That’s stupid. U have to pay for only fans. Alot of porn is free 
So he’s paying to see other women.
Yes, I’d be upset!
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I’d be gone tbh, that’s disrespectful but I agree^ “talking” isn’t the same as dating
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Porn is one thing. Only fans is personal. You can message each individual person and communicate with them etc. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either
You already have all the red flags you need
Trust yourself!
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3 years and this where y’all at? Nahhh, byeeee. 
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If you don’t like the behavior now, you won’t like it a year from now.
You get what you tolerate, put up with or make excuses for.
If you don’t want a man who has subscriptions to only fans, porn or what not. Choose different, choose wisely.
That’s a deal breaker for me. I would be furious.
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Mines been on so long, it’s burned-out
Are you boyfriend and girlfriend or are you ‘talking’… if your not exclusive then I don’t think you do. If you are I still don’t think it’s something to be upset about unless you’ve previously expressed and come to an agreement that he wouldn’t.
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Red flag number 67846386
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Ask him what he’s watching… Porn is porn to me but at the same time that could be a huge barrier in relationships.
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Talking for 3 years 
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I’d be pissed. Not cool.
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I’d be mad he’s legit paying to look at another woman.
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He sounds like a keeper 
Seriously, why are women staying with men like this and asking complete strangers “what should I do?” You’re not a gawd damn child, take his ass out to the curb 
This video was directly below your question. I think it speaks for itself 
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3 years and he’s only just started coming over? You’ve only been talking? Not dating? As you don’t sound like a “couple” If he’s been pleasuring himself this way it’s better than him talking or pleasuring himself elsewhere? Whilst getting to know you
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There are like a million red flags in your post…
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Depends. Is it his exs onlyfans? My thing is if your paying for an onlyfans then your obsessing about someone. Porn is porn no problem, literally millions of videos for free on the internet but paying for it is a big no no
All the red flags are there.
If it’s walks like a duck, quacks like a duck it is a duck.
Move on. No you can’t fix him.
No he is not sorry.
Sorry he got caught.
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If you have a gut feeling about him and his ex trust your gut feeling and don’t go forth with it, and if he’s spending money on a site that’s not bills or something important get rid of his ass now
I would absolutely be pissed! He’s literally paying to see others naked. And I say just others because who knows what he’s seeking to get out of being on there but please do yourself a favor and find someone who respects you because even though there are who women who are fine with it in a relationship if you have to ask anyone else for an opinion you are not and therefore it is disrespect… I know it would be a deal breaker for me!
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The amount of red flags on this. Just talking? No bf/gf title after three years? Just started coming over everyday?
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“Talking for 3 years”
Girl…. That’s not dating… he’s not your boyfriend… you need to let that whole idea go. No boyfriend would be paying other women for things on only fans, unless a conversation was had about that.
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Pretend to phone a friend and tell her you are thinking about starting a onlyfans page but do it infront of him. If he has issues then you say,well if he can watch it,you can join it. What’s the difference.
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Reading these comments I see why so many men sneak around. Good lord only fans is no different then watching porn hub. It could just be a subscription to see one person’s new pics etc. It doesn’t mean they are communicating with them or having phone sex. No you don’t get to be mad grow the heck up and talk to him, find out what he subscribed too.
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Porns free. Why pay for only fans 
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“talking” ?
Baby that ain’t your boyfriend lol. So no you have no right to be mad if y’all were never exclusive 
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I’ll never understand why men spend money on something that is free.
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This is a group for parenting not relationships
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Have you set boundaries in your relationship or even talked about what your relationship consists of? Establish all of that and if he can’t/doesn’t want to follow the boundaries set then move on 
sometimes just coming forward and having the awkward conversation can save a lot of time and heart ache.
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Isn’t it like porn? I mean- don’t most guys watch porn. So do women. You have many other flags to worry about than him watching porn.
My husband was completely obsessed with watching other women. Promise after promise I caught him in lies. It has ruined me!!! We are still married but it is not easy being in a relationship after that bullshit. He has stopped now but now I live my day in pure anxiety from the minute I wake up until I go to bed. I am not sure if we will make it but we are trying. It is complete disrespect.
There’s so many red flags to this. Talking for three years? That’s a whole relationship and then some. He’s paying to see other women naked, when he has you, get rid.
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Have you had an upfront conversation about each other’s boundaries and what you both find okay and not okay in your relationships? You can feel how you feel, but it would be wrong to direct those feelings towards him. Sit with yourself, ask yourself how you feel about this because no one can tell you how you should feel. Then have an open and honest discussion with him about those feelings without projecting your feelings and making it his responsibility to change how you feel. Either you will find out you’re compatible or you’ll find out you’re not.
No one has to be the bad guy with red flags.
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After 3 damn years and y’all only on that level? Nuh uh…throw the whole damn dude in the 
!
Talking for 3 years? He’s not your man. Give him back to the streets that own him
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Different people have different boundaries. The issue is when boundaries have been established, your partner chooses to pursue the relationship and the boundaries are then crossed. Communication is important, as well as respect and trust. If you’ve established you aren’t comfortable with him watching pron or participating in these subscriptions and he disregards that, he is the ah.
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Doesn’t even sound like he’s your bf though lol.
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Girl, your gut (intuition) is telling you! What does it say?
You have the right to be mad. Do not move in with him.
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he’s still talking to the ex and he’s secretive with his phone. Go with your gut.
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3 years & you still aren’t his girlfriend? Boy bye 
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When you say you’ve been talking for 3 years, is that all you were doing before he recently started to come over…if so, wtf?
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That’s crossing the line imo. Porn is free but paying for it is cheating.
Communicate. Talk to him about what upsets you. Find out from him if you need to be worried. If he doesn’t talk to you or shuts you out… I’d run.
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If you think he’s talking to his ex… he probably is. I have yet to have that feeling and be wrong about it😂 Don’t build a life with him then regret it. Just leave now while you don’t have any ties.
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If he’s actually in a committed relationship with you, then yes you have a right to be mad and he shouldn’t be on onlyfans…
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So what that why his secretive with his phone now
I personally think ppl that buy only fans subscriptions for sexual reasons (I’ve never been on it, not sure if it’s 100% sexual) is a waste of money. I’ll never understand paying to see someone naked/fu*k or whatever but that’s just me. I’d be mad if my partner was doing that bc #1 he’s paying money to see another woman naked. #2 he could be using that money for yall’s relationship or whatever🤷♀️
Uh yeah they can live interact with the women on only fans !
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Yeah, unless he is rich, the women on OnlyFans aren’t interested in him. Else they wouldn’t be hawking their “wares” on OnlyFans.
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Girl…. Your bf is paying to see other girls, he’s giving you reason to doubt or be uncomfortable with his relationship with his ex, 3 years and you refer to your relationship as you’ve been “talking”.
This doesn’t seem like commitment and after 3 years if you don’t have that, YES take this seriously, be upset, move on
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That boy is for the bin 
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When in doubt don’t move him in
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Explain talking for 3 years and being your bf?? If you have just been talking then you have no right to be mad. But, if he has be your bf more than just over the phone and talking yes you have the right.
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I’m confused about him being your boyfriend, but you’ve been “talking” for 3 years??, is he just recently your boyfriend but you’ve known him for 3 years?? I wouldn’t continue the relationship either way, if he’s that secretive, the only fans thing, and ex thing… No way, better men out there in the world.
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You’ve been “talking” or dating? Because there’s a difference lol sounds like you’re not actually in a relationship which would mean no you shouldn’t be mad. Be mad you’ve wasted 3 years on a dude that’s clearly not committed
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I left my husband for this. Got his shit together quick
Why are you asking other people if you have the right to be mad? 
Honey if it makes you mad then that’s it. 
Me personally, if my man was paying for Only Fans, I’d be PISSED. Not because he’s looking at other females but because he’s WASTING money when he can see porn for free. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what WE think. It’s about what YOU are willing to accept.
Read Steve Harvey’s book “act like a lady think like a man” it’s a quick read and a total game changer!
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What’s only fan? 
I’m old or slow.
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He’s a narciccict he will reel you in and keep his exes for play
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All these questions qnd doubts , move on its not gonna work out .
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Are you dating or just talking? A man in a relationship should not be paying to see naked girls… that’s cheating. If y’all are just talking then there’s nothing to be upset about. He’s not exclusive with you
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Throw him in the trash.
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If it makes you uncomfortable then yea of course you have a right to be mad. I would be
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9 out of 10 responses on this page is leave or he is a narcisist
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Your grammar and punctuation kinda effed up the way you put this out there. We can’t really give any advice if we don’t know the facts of if y’all have talked for 3 years or dated for 3 years or if y’all JUST started dating but talked for 3. Make this make sense please
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So many issues. I would not have a relationship with someone still tied up in there ex and obviously using only fans. Already sounds unfaithful.
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Uhm I’d be mad like all this free porn out here and you paying for nudes lol like dude I’m charge you to see me nude then🤷♀️
Of course you have the right. You have the right to feel ANYWAY about ANYTHING. right or wrong you have the right to your emotions. In this instance you are 100% right. It is NOT ok
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If your gut says to be leery then listen. If you have to ask then it exists. Run unless it doesn’t bother you. He maybe has a porn addiction or it could be a single guy living alone thing.
Still in touch with his ex is a red flag and hiding his phone is another. I’ve confronted my husband about this and how I initially felt about it. Now I’m not bothered by it.
You said you have been talking for 3 years. Do you have a official label for your relationship? Are you just sleeping with him? Confused.
Sounds like he’s sending mixed signals.
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I would hit the roof every right to be mad, hella disrespectful and more personal than just watching porn in my opinion 
I don’t care that a man watches porn or OF, the fact that they pay for it instead of investing it and building our life pisses me off. That being said, I would walk away.
Dump his arse they don’t change
As I always say, love and trust go hand in hand.
So I’m confused… are you legitimately dating, or have just been talking and casually seeing eachother?
Have you already had a conversation about boundaries? If not, you can be upset because your feelings are always valid HOWEVER you can’t really be mad at him for crossing a boundary that he didn’t know was there
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I know if my husband watched shit on OnlyFans I’d be mad. You’re not wrong to feel upset.
He’s a perv, leave him.
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Who cares. My gf watches porn all the time. 
You don’t have a right to be mad. Its like watching porn its nbd in my opinion. I think its weird that in 2022 women are still so uptight about this.
That would be a hard pass from me.