Your significant other should be your best friend, if he communicate with you and can another female…then I’d let him go.
Eek,definitely not a good sign. Looks like he’s in the process of trying to replace you. I hope I’m wrong. 
So you’re mad that during a difficult, stressful, emotionally draining time your partner contacted a person who he used to be close with for extra emotional support? Holy toxic and controlling, batman.
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Throw the whole guy out! You have every right to be upset or mad if roles were reversed im sure he would feel the exact same.
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Why’d he get so mad for you looking through his phone? Cuz he got caught? 
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In my opinion he shouldn’t be confinding yours and his personal problems into another female, period.but like i said that’s my opinion.
- If you’re at the point of having to check phones, trust issues need to be addressed
- Are you upset he’s confiding in a woman? Or more upset he’s sharing info about the relationship?
- Naturally we all need someone to vent to and he may not be able to get that support from a guy friend
- Do you have relationships with all his friends? Perhaps he wanted to share with someone who’s more removed from your relationship.
- If you’re upset, those are you feelings and you’re entitled to them. But, I don’t think he’s wrong either. Get to the root of the problem. Seems to me like it’s trust.
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I would be upset. If you guys have issues, you should be discussing them in your relationship not outside the relationship unless it’s with a certified counselor
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They always say “Trust your gut”.
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You’re not crazy! You have every right to be upset!
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He just opened a door .
I would be upset because he is quick to tell her about the negative but not quick to reach out in positive moments
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Nope. He protest to much. Aka. Guilty as hell
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Kick his cheatin butt to the curb. You know in your heart why he’s calling her.
CRAZY! BIG MOTHAF**KEN RED FLAG !! Someone who is pregnant with there child should try treated better in this special time! This is why marriage b4 children just in we got 2 end it real quick…
Oh please if any of us women suspect anything we turn into the FBI, I would’ve checked his phone also if I had a gut instinct. He seems like he’s trying to get back with the other girl. I’d give him an ultimatum you or keep speaking to her. Who am I kidding I’d probably leave the situation instead of walking on eggshells with this sneaky MF
People need someone to vent to. So what if they haven’t talked in awhile. I got guy friends I randomly reconnect with. Unless they were flirting or something like that then your the issue. There is obviously trust issues going on.
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Maybe I’m the only one who’s been fucked around on to much buttttt uhhh leave. If he hasn’t talked to her in a year and a half or about your accomplishments as a couple but he wants to tell her y’all and splitting up? Lmfao he wants her to know he’s about to be available. Idk how your guys phones situation went before but the splitting up part may be the reason he was upset, if your splitting up then you no longer have a reason to worry about who he is talking to. My husband and i are different when it comes to Phone rules, 
we both have 100% access to each other’s phones. Cause we don’t care, we have nothing to hide. Do we ever actually go through them? No. But the fact in our head if we ever wanted too, we can I vent to my CLOSEST friends about my relationship. I never down grade him to them, i say the situation, and you know what? They give their opinion and then ALSO tell me i need to talk to him. Idk how the conversation goes between them but if she’s all for him leaving and supporting him without hearing your side, then just leave. He obviously ran to her to let her know he was going to be single for a reason
I have male friends that I talk to but this seems very much like a backup plan and he’s getting his foot in the door.
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My best friend is a male. We’ve been best friends for going on 12 years. Nothing more than besties. Sometimes we have gone months or over a year without talking much or at all just because we get busy. I have a baby and he owns his own company. However, when me and my fiance get into it, no matter when the last time I talked to my best friend was, I go to him to get his opinion. I value it because one, it’s coming from another male so he can give me insight on why the situation may be going the way it’s going from my fiance’s perspective. And two, because I value his opinion no matter how long time has gone without us talking. This may just be someone he truly trusts he can confide in and someone that won’t just give him the basic runaround answers that everyone else may. You need to trust more. If this is someone you’re gonna marry, you shouldn’t be going through his phone or doubting his intentions. While I agree it hurts to see your SO talking about personal situations, everyone has the right to vent. I would take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Just my thoughts.
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Trust is the single most valuable ingredient of any relationship. If you’re looking in his phone, you already don’t have it, so the time for being mad is over. The only thing you need to ask yourself now is what you’re willing to put up with. Stay or go? If you stay the fighting continues and you will be looking for more things. If you’re already thinking of leaving it sounds like you’ve found a reason.
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You know your not wrong for being mad but you need to make sure to know if you know your not wrong?
Your wrong. And reading way to into it.
If it was a guy would you react the same way? How do you know he didn’t tell her you were engaged and having a baby? Is this woman a particular issue for you because it sounds that way.
And why are you going through his phone?
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I would be pissed too… not a healthy way to try fix ur relationship… he is going to get a very biased opinion and she may have alterior motives… that move of his was completely wrong… a betrayel …
He is a dick for doing that…
And ur relationship must have had trust issues if u felt the need to go thro his phone… or was it gut instinct and u already know deep down something was wrong… either way I feel for u being in that situation
He’s still into this ex. He has gone behind your back to this woman. Why didn’t he talk to you. I guarantee you have been disrespected and name called by him to her. His true colours are showing, dont spend the rest of your life being second best. Leave, you are worth so much more.
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it’s always so easy for people on the outside of the situations to say “just leave him” there are so many comments on this thread saying “dump him” “leave his ass” do you think if she was ready to do that she would be asking for advice in this group? And for everyone saying that maybe he just needed someone to talk to and felt he had nobody else to talk to about it… well look what she did, she didn’t run out to an old guy friend, she came to an anonymous mama group on Facebook to ask for advice, he instead went a female that he is acquainted with. Maybe if he needed help with what to buy his woman for her birthday or something that related to this girl specifically… then maybe not such a big deal. But no man should be going to another woman to bitch about his woman. It’s just not okay in anyway, there are other outlets, I’m sure he has guy friends!
Shady behavior for sure. Save yourself the heartache, by all his actions, its coming.
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You why he would do this…
- because he is insecure about himself and probably knew if he contacts this chick she will boast his ego enough to feel better about all of his deficits
2)he is already laying the ground work for his next relationship
3)he’s an immature frogging idiot who, even though he is an adult, still doesn’t know how to deal with difficult things or things that may hurt him as an adult and in hisdumb head the best way to deal is to hurt you.
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he is a relationship self sabotager
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he’s just butthole
I don’t think you are wrong for being upset… he was disrespectful and inconsiderate to you and your relationship. But I’m curious to know what made you look at his phone, to me that’s a lack of trust on you part yet you don’t mention anything about trust issues specifically in your post.
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LMMFAO!! Very easy to spot the home wrecking women on this page LOL!!! The problem is NOT with you!!
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While YOU shouldn’t have gone through his phone without asking, which is a big flag saying “I don’t trust you” he shouldn’t be talking to anyone about your relationship issues,especially another female. That within itself is so shady and disrespectful.That needs to stay between the 2 of y’all. Y’all need to sit down and talk about your issues. You have a child together not ARE children together. Both grow up and figure out what y’all want and what is better for the child.
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How would he feel if u turned to a Male friend to discuss ur relation ship problems? If he cant come to u with what the prob is he shouldn’t be going to anyone else let alone another female! Its disrespectful to u again how would he like it if the tables were turned?
Hmm, thus is a tough one, especially depending on your beliefs. My partner and I have an open book relationship where I know his password, I don’t have a password on my phone, and we are both allowed to go through each other’s phones at any point and read/look at anything.
My thoughts are, he flipped out because he’s done something he feels you would get upset about if you were to have seen it or already seen it. Gaslifhting you was the incorrect way to handle it. He should have collected himself and talked to you about it. Make sure everyone’s boundaries are clear etc.
As for the talking to this girl. Yes I find it odd that they haven’t been in contact for a year and a half. BUT there could be circumstances that prevented it, example her having a crazy ass S/O, etc. To be fair yes I’d be upset, but I would have collected myself as much as possible (I’m an emotional person and cry alot 
) and talked to him about it .
Your allowed to feel how you feel. Hes allowed to feel how he feels. What matters is how you both handle it and work together to solve the problem.
Remember it’s not you against him, or him against you. It’s you AND him AGAINST the problem.
guys are gonna get mad when you go through their phone no matter what. it’s like an invasion of privacy and it hurts them to think/know you don’t trust them. maybe just apologize and ask him about it
All the ones commenting that it’s her fault are those hoes. Sorry not sorry
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Professional counseling ASAP! Sounds like you each have trouble communicating effectively and would benefit from a neutral third party. It’s very stressful having a baby what with little sleep, added responsibility (for life!), and hormones, so no wonder you’re both more on edge than usual.
Learn to ask the hard questions and really LISTEN to each other. Find out what happened in your past (good, bad, indifferent) that colors the way each of you thinks and reacts about children and how to rear them, money, housework, gender roles, expectations, etc. I’ll bet when you understand each other better you’ll rediscover why you fell in love in the first place. In any case you should learn to get along better since you will be forever tied together through your child, regardless of what happens to the rest of your relationship.
Good luck, and don’t forget to have date nights and give each other “me time” to recharge.
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I have a male best friend. Haven’t seen him in 13 years and we barely talk. At one point we went two years without speaking. But when we need each other we call regardless of time passed or relationship status. You’re over reacting. Everybody needs someone they can talk too
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Id break up with him for doing something he knew would bother you. By confining in another female he showed he cares about talking to her. Ur his woman. Why didn’t he come to u? He can stay pissed about looking threw his phone bc he invaded ur privacy first by telling a stranger ur problems. That’s not a man.
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My man had a female bestfriend. One day i was over at his dorm and needed a sweatshirt so i asked if i could grab one out of the dresser, he said no really abrubtly and that he would grab it. Opens the drawer, grabs the shirt, and closes it real quick. My first thought was i had a present in there as it was my birthday the following week. For the rest of the night he was very wary of his phone and he just let it keep going off without checking it. Even took it with him to the door to grab pizza.(prolly assuming id check for him) Then hours later Its late, hes passed out and his phone is still blowing up. I look over and the notifications are all photo messages from his female “best friend”. Yeah i opened them, cus what pictures are you sending my man at 1 am. 45 pictures might i add. When i realized my worst fears were true i flew out of the bed and checked his dresser drawers. Full of sex toys, lingerie, lube, ropes, all the kinky shit you could think of, none of which was everrrr used by me. I woke him up by screaming, i threw everything out of the dresser drawers at him, told him his slut was upset he wasnt paying attention to her so he should prolly call her. I packed my shit and left. I will never be with a man who has a girl bestfriend ever again. And just like every other man, i was the crazy one for having my suspicions all the way up untill the truth finally showed. So girl if you think this bitch is trying to wreck youre family and hes falling for it, let her have him because only a prick of a man would look for consolidation in another womans arms. Shes his backup plan if they’re not messing around already.
Maybe he didn’t feel the need to tell her about your engagement and pregnancy because it was a good thing and he was happy and sometimes we let our friendships go when were in relationships even though that’s a crappy thing to do but its because we are happy and have our significant other to talk to…but splitting up from you is a bad thing and hes hurt and he needs his bestfriend.
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Honestly, if you have to ask, you probably already know the answer.
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She does know everything! The engagement, the baby, all of it… He’s probably been talking to her the whole time. She is probably who he will end up with when you leave him. Just know you have been painted to be the bad guy and he has done nothing wrong. File for custody before you leave because they will go after your child.
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My best friend is male, we don’t see or speak often, life is busy, he has a wonderful girlfriend, I have a fiance and nearly 2 kids. The odd time we do chat is often to share news, get advice or just talk things out. If I’m having a row with my OH, he’s the last person I want to talk to about it, but my friend will calm me, give me a man’s perspective and support me judgement free. It’s quite normal.
What isn’t normal is having that little trust or faith in your partner that you won’t allow them to vent to a friend, going through his phone and then throwing a fit over it.
You’re parents, grow up. If you trust him so little that you snoop through his phone like a stalker, time to split and spend some time on you.
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Sounds like you are jealous you want his friend to know about you having a baby and getting married that seems like you wanted her to know her place in his life and now that you guys may be splitting up your worried he will go to her?
All I can say is fighting is toxic and he has a right to tell and talk to who ever he wants…
You’re talking about splitting up and now he’s reaching out to her??? I find that very interesting. The fact of the matter though is that it sounds like your relationship has issues and would benefit from counseling if you want to stay together. Or even if you want to separate amicably
Not wrong at all. I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if you were confiding in another man about what an asshole he is. It’s definitely a step in the wrong direction. He needs to be addressing issues with the relationship with those that are actually in the relationship.
U going through his phone dont help how dumb actually are u
If you’re going through his phone, obviously there is a problem that doesn’t stem from what you’re saying the problem is. Now that you’re reading it, does any of it actually say he’s leaving you? Maybe he’s just confiding in her. I pushed all my friends away for my relationship, and when it came down to actually needing someone, I had to message them, because I couldn’t confide in my partner at that time. He does the same. He’ll message his best friend, who is a girl, but I know they wouldn’t do anything, so it doesn’t bother me. Maybe you’re being paranoid? Obviously you two can’t confide in each other right now. Have you considered therapy? If not, break up. Or take some time apart. How would you feel if he went through your phone?
Well personally I think it’s disrespectful to you. If there is problems in the marriage it should stay in the marriage. Talking to some else isn’t going to solve the issue. Communication with each other correctly could resolve the issues. Going through his phone was wrong (no trust?) him calling another girl is also wrong. Again it would depend also if boundaries were set in place. Did you specifically say no talking to other women at all? As a boundary.
At end of day your both in wrong here. Absolutely you both have right to be upset with each other. But it’s also going to take you both to communicate and work your issues out between each other. If emotions build up take step back until calm try again. Might take few try’s. But sit down have a logical conversation together.
Communicate its important. Friends are hard to come by. But trust and respect is important in any relationship
No man should even put himself in a situation that might cause him to be unfaithful in a monogamous relationship 
just my opinion. My husband of 38 years was Musician and had millions opportunities but wouldn’t put himself in a position to be tempted.
If he can talk about you’re problems but not you’re milestones as a couple that is a problem. He should be proud and excited to tell anyone about being engaged or especially having a baby. And as a couple phones shouldn’t be off limits to the other person, you should be able to see his phone like he should be able to see yours, and if there is a problem with that it’s an issue because that breaks trust and after being married only 4 years trust is one of the biggest things to make it work
u have a right to be concerned. try not to get mad stay calm and get to the bottom of it
Maybe it’s time for you to talk to her with him in the room
In regards to this situation i can understand that you didn’t appreciate your man discussing your relationship problems with a female that he hasnt spoke to in a while but just because he talked to her doesnt mean its sexual, it could just be that he needed a womens point of view and insight on what to do do next on how to make things better.
From reading your post, you mentioned that you grab his phone thats telling me there’s serious trust issues and if you have trust issues, what caused these trust issues? Did he break those trust issues or did you have trust issues due to your past relationships? sometimes we can punish the people we love due to past hurtful sins from others that leave a hurtful dent and if thats the case you need to recognize that he isnt your previous exes.
My advice is to communicate with him and apologized for grabbing his phone, but at the same time, keep your eyes open, make sure before you walk down the isle with him that all these issues are resolved. Trust, communication and Love are important for both parties, and if you trust him then you need to respect him as well as he needs to respect you and your feelings, it goes both ways.
So, start talking to one of your exes or a really cute friend from work…see how he feels when the show is on the other foot. Personally, I’d dump his sorry ass. Guys that bitch about their current relationships to an ex are usually looking for a way back in to their former relationship. Ditch his sorry ass.
No not crazy let him go…
i definitely dont think you are wrong for being mad hes just trying to make u feel bad and crazy for him being kinda sneaky… id say its definitely suspish however i dont know how good of friends the guy was but reguardless he definitely should have mentioned i guys dated… id have to say him freaking out about u checking his phone is the biggest flag to me… id definitely leep an eye on that and the situation and see what u find it could really be nothing and he just have no one yo reach out and talk to?
Nope. If she was a friend he would tell her the good times and the bad. She sounds more like an easy lay he can run to 
Isabel RuIz sound like something you should read lil
He just gaslighted the shit out of you… Run. His “best friend” should know your milestones with him, not your problems.
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From the sound of it, there’s a few issues here. Seems like communication and trust are already issues. If you’re trying to salvage anything, those are the things you need to address with your partner. You wouldn’t be so upset about the female if there were a healthy amount of trust and communication. There are many many reasons why he could have reached out to this woman. Some good, some super shady. You’ll end up siding with the reasons that suit how you’re feeling right now. It depends on your history with this man to better give advice. Situationally, from what you’ve described what he’s doing seems pretty shady. One: if they were such close friends, you should know more about her. She should definitely know about you (engagement, pregnancy). On the flip side of that, who’s to say she doesn’t? Are you sure they haven’t been in contact? If they stopped being ‘close’ since you got together, think about why. Did you say something to cut her out? Did he fade her out? Did they simply just go about there lives but are still close? That is something you’ll need to discuss with him unless you already know the answer. If it wasn’t something you said, then knowing why you’ve not heard much about her in the last year and a half may help you understand why her. Two: also from what you said, its not right for him to dump your guys drama on her like that. If he had in fact not been in contact with her this long thats not the type of situation you put yourself in when wanting to simply vent or seek advice. There are 3 sides to every story. Your side, his side, and the truth. To go to someone (not a therapist) that knows nothing about the full situation is looking for validation on how they are currently feeling. Him with her, you posting here. He should be talking with you about your problems and you with him. The fact this has gone on a month already doesn’t seem like trying to make it work and now it’s gotten to this situation. Communication is extremely important in a relationship. The fact that you are feeling hurt, upset, insecure, untrusting, ect is a valid problem and a big one. Knowing only the info you’ve given, I’d be upset too. It’s healthy to have someone to talk to or vent, but what’s not healthy is doing it with someone who only knows the bad. That paints a very dysfunctional picture of you’re guys relationship that may not be true and hearing only bad and seeing only misery results in very bias advice. No good comes from that. It’s up to you to decide where you want to go from here. If you want to fix this rough patch, you need to talk to him completely calm and understanding of both sides. Tell him how you’re feeling, get your questions answered. But it needs to be in a very calm unaccusitory manner. Make sure you have your boundaries in place. You need to get to the root of these issues and rebuild in strength. Otherwise, it’s up to you to look within yourself to decide if it’s worth it. Is this the first time going through his phone? If you cannot trust someone and if someone is making you FEEL this insecure after 2 years you should not be with them. His defensive response says alot in itself. That coupled with his actions shows something is not right right now. He doesn’t sound very grown up, and you don’t sound happy or confident. Now personally, I’d bail. That whole situation is all of the nope for me. Should’ve never gone that far. If someone did that to me out of the blue with no previous indicator of trouble in paradise and refusal to explain coupled with defensive and deflective behavior? Speaks for itself. You don’t need that type s*** in your life for life is too short to be in long term misery that you can do something about. I wish you luck with what you decide, you do what’s best for you and find your you again.