I see both sides of this.
People see parties as gift grabs. You’ve given her so much. She doesn’t want you to feel obligated to give her more.
On the other hand youre hurt you were left out.
Also just because it’s at a hall doesn’t mean she’s known about it for weeks or months. You can rent a hall on short notice. Or maybe whoever is throwing it didn’t tell her. I found out about my baby shower a couple days before by accident. Otherwise I wasn’t going to find out until I walked in.
I think you should calmly tell her you’re hurt. Listen to her side.
Girl get you big girl panties on
Maybe it was just a over sight
I feel like someone threw her this so she didnt know until last minute and that was her way of inviting you, which she did. I’d let it go and know that maybe the person that is setting this all up missed a few people and that just so happened to include you in the miss. I’d tell her “I’m so happy for you! I’d of loved to of come but since it’s last minute I already made plans, I can bring over diapers later once it’s all done if you’d like. Could help set up the gifts and see what all you got!”
Be excited for her, it was probably an honest mistake.
I mean, not all baby showers are planned well ahead of time. I’ve known of several thrown together less than a week before.
She could have extended the invitation and said don’t get a gift. She had some reason for not inviting. Not a friend.
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You should definitely let it go. And you definitely shouldn’t be offended. She probably didn’t want you feeling obligated to buy her anything else because you’ve already given her so much, just like she said. I think you’re taking it the wrong way and instead of taking her word you’re in your head somewhere getting your feelings hurt when you shouldn’t be.
It’s not that serious!! Let it go…
Your feelings are valid 
Some people just aren’t good at being a friend. Which sucks, but honestly she may not realize how her not inviting you effected you, or the friendship.
I’d address it with a simple message outlining that you’re hurt, why you’re feeling this way, and expressing that you gave her things out of kindness but would’ve still enjoyed being a part of celebrating her new baby!
She should have invited you and then told you that she doesn’t want a gift because you were so giving already. She wanted you to enjoy getting out and being with others. She messed up. She knows how you feel. It will sting for awhile, but forgive.
Sounds like she didn’t even want a shower could be a lot of reasons she didn’t invite you. Maybe it’s family or coworkers that are a tough crowd. I know I have friend groups that don’t mix well together doesn’t mean you aren’t friends or that she doesn’t appreciate you could literally be trying to save you from what she doesn’t even want to go to herself.
It’s sad when you truly find out who your “real” friends are.
Usually women don’t throw baby showers for themselves and don’t control who is invited. Or maybe the guest list was intended to be just for family. You can be upset, but at the same time let it go. Remember the old adage, it’s better to give than to receive? You said it yourself, you gave her the things because they were no longer needed. You were a good neighbor, be happy with that!
So after my long ramble, yes, let it go!
This is why you gotta be careful who you are friends with. They’ll give you things to “be nice” and then use that against you. “She didn’t invite me even though I gave her xx” is disgusting. Be better. You told her you were busy and then she told you she didn’t want you to feel like you should give her more, because that’s what people do at baby showers. She could have wanted to do something with you that was special instead, but you didn’t give her the chance because you decided her moment should be about you. Hard pass.
I am sure she didn’t want you to feel obligated to buy her anything after everything you gave her already.
Also I’m sure she didn’t plan it so her family may not know she’s friends with you.
Not worth losing sleep over it!!
If one of you moved…you’d lose contact most likely. She’s a “friendly neighbor”. You’re part of her real life to an extent. But it’s because of proximity. Don’t ruin the relationship over this. You won’t be invited to the birth either…
If the shower is being got ven for her there could be other reasons why you didn’t get an invite. It might have been a “surprise shower” and she just found out about it herself. Perhaps the person’s house is only so big for a certain amount of people or they stated that it was for family only. There are so many different reasons and unless you talk to her and actually ask her why you weren’t invited; you will never understand. You were very giving and helpful; I truly think there were some other things going on.
Maybe she actually didn’t k ow about it. Some family are very pushy and may have forced it on her.
Usually someone else gives you a baby shower. Often it’s a surprise. It may be that she didn’t know about it until the last minute. In any event, she DID ask. Additionally, you HAD other plans. Don’t be mad.
You don’t know what the real reason was but it is best just to be neighbors not friends life will be a lot better in the long run
I would be hurt too. You can’t invite yourself. She is an idiot. Time to step back and not be so helpful anymore. Just makes no sense for her not inviting you. You should have been first on the list.
Maybe she felt you had already done enough for her and did not want to make you feel obligated to purchase a present.
She thought you did plenty for her and did not want you to feel like you needed to bring a gift! Maybe it was only family invited. Don’t lose a good friendship over this. Maybe she’s embarrassed over some of these friends. There could be a lot of reasons. Don’t take it personal.
Try to put yourself in her shoes…from her perspective: when she is invited to a shower, she struggles b/c she is expected to buy them a gift, when she’s already struggling with finances. She didn’t invite you because she didn’t want you to feel obligated to bring a gift, when you had already given her so much. To me, it sounds like she was trying to invite you last minute, so you wouldn’t have time to get a gift and, therfore, wouldn’t feel obligated…but you already had plans. Please just talk to her; I’m sure you’ll find that this was the case.
I’d be upset and never talk to her again she’s a user and don’t want you to see the truth about all the lies she tell you.
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You are focusing way to much on you. She told u why. Respect that. And like others said sounds like her parents/family organized and held the shower … not her
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I would be upset also. However my sister hates attention and parties and she would feel that she was sparing you from family and silly games. Possibly a family member organized it and only invited family members. Maybe she did not contribute a list of guests. I think you are real friends. Please don’t let this affect your friendship or giving heart. Another thought is maybenshe is embarrassed of her family.
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Maybe u have done enough and she didn’t want u to feel u had to buy a gift.Also sometimes family has the shower just for family.
You didn’t mention who was giving the shower.Maybe just family was invited or she had no input on the list
No offense, but I think she was trying not to have you thinking she was expecting a gift on top of everything you had already given her. And my sister-in-law is having a shower and her mother and our mutual mother-in-law i are in charge of sending out invitations, Maybe there should be better communication between the two of you, it clearly wasn’t intended to be hurtful since she said you had already given her so much, so then send a baby shower invitation could be seen as offensive to expect more from someone. 
Nkar wa loya wena weitse🤔
I think you need to have a conversation with her about it, after you’ve had some time to cool off a little and think through what you want to say. I agree that she might have been trying to invite you at the last minute to avoid having you buy her anything; otherwise why would she initiate asking about your plans? (Knowing full well you’ll ask about hers.) It could also be something someone else forced on her, and she might expect it to be stuffy/boring, or uncomfortable for you if you wouldn’t know anyone there, etc. There could be all sorts of reasons, and you won’t know until you talk to her.
If you’ve been close friends for awhile and this seems out of character for her, try to give her the benefit of the doubt.
It isn’t about you at the end of the day , get over yourself . You gave her things you no longer needed and wanted out of your house . Sounds like she thought it would be greedy to ask you to come shower because she did t expect you to give her anything g else . Let it go and move on
She was honest with you in saying that she didn’t want to ask more of you by inviting you when you had already given her so much. She was being a thoughtful and thankful friend by not inviting you to spend more money on her
That’s just…weird I would be like wtf too
Yes, you’re being ridiculous! Get over it.
Is this friendship salvageable? Because I understand your hurt, and I understand her logic behind not inviting you. I think both sides are valid and maybe a conversation with a cup of coffee would help settle it. Maybe 10 years ago I would’ve made the choice she made, but that’s because guilt would’ve been on my mind for everything that was done for me and a lot of folks feel bringing gifts are mandatory to celebrate a new tiny human… when it’s really all about the company and intent at the end of the day. Id also feel hurt if I were in your position because, well, I love kids and celebrating a tiny human would’ve been the prerogative.
Also, no one is obligated to invite which is the bitter reality of it, but I doubt this is the case right now.
Talk to her and whatever comes from that, you roll with.
The knee jerk reaction comment prob wasn’t the best way to go. Something like oh, I wasn’t invited? That’s disappointing, I’m quite hurt that after being so helpful/supportive that i wasn’t invited. I would be hurt too in that situation. Even if the neighbour wasn’t involved in the shower organising or inviting. She could have mentioned to the host to extend the invitation to the you. I mean if it’s being thrown in a hall it doesn’t exactly sound like a close family/work only kind of thing. You are not the a hole for being upset but kinda are the for the reaction. There’s a few factors that we don’t know like others have said, might be ie work colleagues throwing the shower, or the neighbour feels you have given so much already (but in my opinion if this is the only reason it’s her bad for not extending an invite, you could have declined other said no gift as you’ve been so generous) like you said it’s not just the gift giving. You hang out alot thought you were good friends etc, so it does hurt. Hope you can move past.
you feel like your free stuff earned you a spot on the guest list? that is not out of the goodness of your heart… wtf … maybe she isn’t throwing it for herself 
Maybe she thought you had already done so much for her and didn’t want to put additional expense on you. Perhaps a heart to heart with her will help more than strangers on Facebook
I would be hurt too. Some people are better friends than others are. In fact stuff like this has always happened to me. Everyone saying she was right for not inviting you because you already gave her so much has never been left out and it shows. It doesn’t really matter that you gave her stuff and she knows that, she should have thought that you would have liked to go just to go. Nobody doesn’t invite theor mom or BFF to their baby shower just because they gave them a bunch of stuff before hand. I would let it go though because she sounds like the kind of person that really believes what she did was ok and it will only make more issues. When ppl used to do me like that I would always just go buy them a nice gift after the party they didn’t include me in and say there you go. Just so they knew I was still thinking of them even if they wernt thinking of me. Don’t lose your good heart over other people’s poor friendship.
Don’t take anything personally.
Let it go. Women bitch over the stupidest shit
Also how the fuck do you use “would of” and then turn around and use it correctly with “would have”?
Sheesh. What if it was a surprise baby shower for her a family member threw? And you said you had to attend a birthday with your kids. Wow. Imagine not allowing your kiddos to go to a birthday party because you valued your friendship over theirs. It’s a baby shower. Maybe stop giving and expecting. You clearly didn’t give it out of “kindness”