Are you a grown up or are you 14? 
3 Likes
I think youâre being petty move on. Yeah I understand being upset about it for a bit but to let it ruin your future anniversaries is down right ridiculous.
2 Likes
It really isnât that big of a deal. I think youâre making a mountain out of a mole hill. You can celebrate any dayâŚwe didnât have money for my birthday or motherâs day, it wasnât a huge deal. Once we had the funds he made me dinner. Life is to short. Let the man fish.
No. You honestly need to get over it. Throw away the plunger and quit brining up old sh*t 
2 Likes
As a guy, all I can say her husband should run, and he should run fast. Completely pathetic and petty. Hereâs a thought ladies, STATE WHAT YOU WANT, WHEN YOU WANT IT!! DONT PLAY GUESSING GAMES and then be a petty dipshit. Dear lord, people wonder why men hate marriage and/or dating
4 Likes
Okay, yeah. He hurt your feelings. But put your grown up pants on and act like an adult. Tell him he pissed you off but heâs your husband. He canât try and make things better if youâre not going to try and work on it too. Youâll stay forever mad bc of one choice to go fishing ?
Grow up.
1 Like
I spent my first wedding anniversary at a dmv all day
Holding a grudge isnât going to help. You can celebrate your anniversary any day, things like fishing tournaments are not something he can change the day of. Have some compassion and get over it.
4 Likes
You sound like a spoiled brat, and heâs not doing to be around for much more anniversaries if thatâs how you treat him
1 Like
Do you have a right to be upset? Yeah, sure. However in a world of picking and choosing your battles Iâd that one missed anniversary celebration worth allowing it to dampen every day going forward? You canât change the past but you can choose if youâre going to let it rain on your future.
3 Likes
Heâs trying to make it up to you. Let him.
I feel like youâre only making yourself suffer.
Ok so I can understand about being upset for that instance. Itâs ok to feel that way, and itâs valid, but donât unpack and live there. Would t you want to be forgiven when you made a mistake? How about you communicate your feelings and give him a chance.
You both have screwed up. I donât know if the fishing tournament was sprung on you last minute or if you had prior knowledge, you should have discussed it beforehand, and if the tournament meant a lot to him you could have made plans around it. He should have planned better or opted out of the tournament, then again if it is a once a year opportunity you are being a little selfish by not wanting your husband doing something special to him. He wants to make up for his mistake why not let him? Why waste all this time and energy holding a grudge and being angry. If you cant get past this move on so he can find a woman who loves him unconditionally instead of him being stuck with one who is angry at him for a stupid mistake. Also anniversaries are usually more important to women than men, most men only do things because that is what the woman wants.
4 Likes
Never gona make it with that attitude
3 Likes
I had similar situation our first anniversary. I spent a lot of time being resentful & in hindsight it just wasnât worth it. Express your feelings, let him apologize and start fresh. My grandmother told me before I married to never keep score! She was right! Married 27 years, happier now than ever! Good luck!
3 Likes
Look forward to doing something with him at next anniversary, we were married 49 years and 2 months, although we didnât celebrate on every anniversary (other plans) we were so looking forward to our 50th anniversary , my husband passed away suddenly, we were both looking forward to our 50th. Donât lose out on another day just one day out of the blue do something special together, could be as simple as going out to dinner just the two of you.
4 Likes
Forget about it already!
If you stayed 12 more months then, no you shouldnât be upset. But you need to communicate and talk about boundaries and how close you were to leaving because you felt like what mattered to you meant nothing to him. Speak your mind without attacking him
1 Like
Was he like this before yâall got married or did it start after? I mean, yâall have been together for 11 years - before it was wrote down on a piece of paper, yâall were basically married already. If you say that nothing was ever discussed on him fishing or dinner, donât you think that is BOTH of yâallâs fault? So why putting all the blame on him? It doesnât seem like you attempted at all to try to plan ahead with him, but more waited to see if he will do something out of the blue, like a surprise of some sort - the same goes with the uneventful Valentineâs Day. Truthfully, by the sounds of it all, I wouldnât be surprised if this was one of those âon and offâ relationships. Let it go - to be so POâd about it a year later is pretty ridiculous.
2 Likes
If you want a marriage full of resentment, youâre on the right path 
2 Likes
Itâs been a year⌠let it go honestly.
3 Likes
This is RIDICULOUS. You sound like the little 6th grade girls in my sonâs class âitâs the anniversary of the day he asked me outâ âitâs the anniversary of the day he sat next to me the 1st timeââŚ
You are a married legal adult with children and you expect to celebrate all of these random days with the same excitement, and feeling as the day you got married. Calm down.
As for him choosing to go out on your anniversary you said you hadnât discussed it so whatâs the problem. Now heâs trying to celebrate with you but you want to be petty. Grow up and communicate what you want, also cool it with the anniversaries.
13 Likes
Let it go and move on. Holding grudges will ruin your relationship
5 Likes
May as well divorce him if youâre gonna stay all bitter!
4 Likes
As an angler myself ⌠tournaments dont happen everyday 
, you should have went to dinner w him after tournament
1 Like
I mean I personally would have love to go fishing for My anniversary . but more details are needed is this a yearly tradition thing . If you were a newer couple I could maybe maybe see it being upsetting. Atleast he didnât go for the whole week/weekend .
1 Like
No if u donât forgive u will never get anywhere.
2 Likes
I feel like this is mild. Open up communication, you both need to do better.
2 Likes
Let it go! Thank your lucky stars you have a husband! You will regret it if something happens to him!
1 Like
Wow. Petty Patty. âŚ. let it go! You may need to get yâall into some marriage therapy.
4 Likes
Get over it! Move on
1 Like
I look at it this way. Let it go. Why move forward being upset/angry and missing out on making wonderful memories. He knows you were upset. Let the past stay in the past and start making memories. Enjoy life. Itâs too short to hold a grudge.
2 Likes
If you plan on staying married I would let it go because I damn sure wouldnât want to stay and be angry. Thatâs not going to work 
Yes I understand your upset and hurt but when he mentioned the going fishing you should have communicated hey its our anniversary and you two should have communicated and worked something suitable out for both of yoh
1 Like
You have been together 11 years ease up a little, let it go and communicate in order to move forward remember to compromise and pick your battles. I tend to remember the little things throughout instead of a designated date when the guy is forced to be sentimental. Good Luck 
1 Like
Get your priorities straight. Be grateful he hasnât left you for being so petty. Talk to him unless you no longer want to be married. Work on your relationship obviously you both need to get together. You have no idea how lonely life can be without a partner. Your pettiness is going to get you to a place where you will know what being alone is all about. Forgive and move on.
4 Likes
If you canât get over it then donât keep him tied down⌠fishing tournaments donât happen all the time and he tried to still take you out in the evening. The man is trying !!
3 Likes
I get being upset. My first anniversary was less than grand. I went to bed super early and my husband stayed up all night with his brother and a friend. It bothered me for a long time. However, donât let it ruin every special occasion to come. You will regret that immensely one day. You told your husband how it made you feel, and it sounds like he is trying to rectify the situation by planning for you 2nd anniversary, let him. Forgive him, and let it go.
Also when he called and ask you to dinner you should have not been petty. Marriage is hard and I had to learn the hard way that reacting to anger doesnât help you and when your hurt and you use anger it makes it worse. You need to let him know how bad he hurt you and communicated what you need from here on out and be sure to let him know if something hurts you another way other than anger
If you want the marriage to work you need to forgive and forget. TALK to him. Do you still love him? Move on.
1 Like
Sounds like he made a mistake, though it is a hurtful one, but has tried to now do things with u and celebrate special days and u refuse. So not sure why he wouldnât plan fishing since it sounds like u shut him down. But then he reached out about dinner, showing I interest in celebrating and u shut him down again. So u either move on and communicate how u would like to celebrate special days and what u expect or u stay stuck in the past anger and leave him because u are not going to have a happy life in that mindset. People make mistakes and some people canât forgive certain things. Our thresholds for that are all different. Its ok either way but right now ur in the middle saying u donât do this or that then shut it down when offered. Thatâs no place for either of u to find joy in life.
1 Like
Wait . But he did ask you to go out to dinner last year, after he was done fishing. ?? You said no. Weâre all adults here. Heâs allowed to have hobbies, you said it was a tournament, that sounds like it was important to him as well. I get that it was your wedding anniversary but you didnât need to spend the ENTIRE day togetherâŚ? And heâs trying to make it up to you this year. You need to let it go.
3 Likes
Let it go if you want a successful relationship. My husband has had to travel for business on Valentineâs Day, my birthday, our anniversary. At first it bothered me but I realized they are just days. My husband shows me he loves me on all the non special days of the year. We have been together 38 years and married 34 years. You can either be mad and hold a grudge or you can continue to build a future with your husband but you canât have it both ways.
4 Likes
Drama Queen much? 
get over yourself
2 Likes
You both have some issues to work out. Sit down and talk about them. If you keep being petty you may no longer have anniversaries
1 Like
Sounds like he is making an effort to make it up to you!
I would forgive and forget and enjoy your life with your hubbie!
Good Luck!
1 Like
Idk for our first anniversary, we spent it with our kids at the fair and I was right where I wanted to be. Happy as can be.
Wow.
Marriage is hard. And youâre holding on to something that will help destroy your marriage.
5 Likes
No you donât have a right to hold a grudge for a year when it sounds like he is trying to make it up to you. Your marriage wonât last with that behavior. If heâs trying to do better let it go and allow him to do right by you. Forever is a long time. If you arenât willing to forgive and try again go on and get a divorce now because harder things will come and you will fold each and every time being a hard ass. The first 5 years are the hardest. Plus it sounds like you expected him to read your mind last year instead of communicating what you expected to happen which is why you got left sitting around all day. Just because you got married doesnât make him a mind reader.
3 Likes
Wow. This sounds a bit high school. Let it go already.
1 Like
Move forward. Put more of an effort to communicate and make things better or dont. This isnât even a real problem, itâs something youâve been unwilling to change. Grow up the world doesnât revolve around you and your feelings.
1 Like
Did you two think to celebrate the 1st anniversary the day before or the day after? My wife and I often celebrate ours on the closest weekend. I agree that better planning should have taken place for the 1st. He clearly realized he hurt you or he wouldnât be trying to make plans for the 2nd anniversary, let it go and let him.
11 Likes
why even be married then if thereâs no compromise or forgiveness âŚ
7 Likes
Was he taking you out before yall got married
1 Like
Young ladyâŚlet that go! I get it I do. My husband has never made a big deal out of our anniversaries but I know why. If it hurt you that much tell him. If heâs tryn to make it up to you let him. If you donât it will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. I about died when out of the blue my husband bought me a car for our 20th Anniversary a very nice car. Instead of telling him to take it back I said heck yea Iâll take itâŚit made my day. My husband is not a romantic guy If yours is tryn to beâŚhands down let him. This must be your first marriageâŚhopefully it will be your lastâŚbut honestly with that attitude 
hmm
4 Likes
you need to move past it
For my clients that come to me with similar issues I tell them several things.
- You can forgive but not forgetâŚdonât make it a big deal unless he continues with the same thing.
- One of you be in charge of the celebrations, putting them on the calendar, making sure you are both on the same page for budget, babysitter, type of celebration, clothes to wear etc. BUT choose the type and place to go to together.
- Neither men nor women are mind readers be sure to let your partner, wife, husband, SO, Bestie know how important it is to you and what you look forward to.
- Day before look the part of excited and express appreciation to each other for help doing this to keep the fires burning.
1 Like
Hi. Been married for almost 17yrs. Your feelings ARE valid. Letâs get that straight. You feel some type of way about what happened & no one is going to tell you youâre not allowed to feel the way you do. However⌠Holding onto grudges is not the way to build a life together.
None of us is perfect & if ever you make a mistake Iâm sure you wouldnât want him bringing it up at every opportunity? I encourage you to choose forgiveness & choose, also, to allow him to make it up to you.
Do let him know you felt hurt. Itâs important that he knows what is important to you & itâs equally important to know whatâs important to him. Being able to keep a hobby, like fishing, keeps him happy, content & keeps his batteries charged to come home to you. What things do you do (activities/ hobbies/ sports) to refresh your mind & spirit?
Anger & holding a grudge are usually by-products of the real issue, which is that you felt hurt that âit seemsâ he chose to attend a fishing tournament instead of what YOU wanted⌠Which was assuring you that he was also super excited about your 1st wedding anniversary. The way you feel about what happened on the day is not HIS issue. Itâs YOUR issue. You need to dig deep & figure out why you felt abandoned because if you donât figure yourself out you will spend the rest of your marriage holding grudges for even the smallest slight. No one wants to enter a home where they have to walk on eggshells.
Choose whatâs more important; the anniversary date (dictated by a calendar) or the special person you share that date with? Let go of what doesnât help you both to move forward⌠You might find you have to drop your pride.
3 Likes
To me that is a little petty. I have been with my husband total of 18 years, this May will be 15 year anniversary he is out of state, and out of the 15 years he has been home for a total of 5 anniversaries, he is military so a little different but still hurts but I donât hold it against him, because why do you need 1 or 2 days a year to show love. He shows me every day when heâs home and we talk all the time when he is gone. Not trying to be rude but I would let it go.
1 Like
Well first off I think you need to forgive and move on. Still being angry over something like that is extremely toxic to a relationship. While to some anniversaries are a big deal to others they are not and its important to sit down together and make sure youâre both clear on what you both feel. My husband is autistic and thingâs do not mean the same to him as they do to me⌠and they most likely never will. So the first couple years he really didnât do anything for any holiday. Which hurt me and it sucked but I voiced those concerns and tried to help him understand. I didnât just shut down and say forget it every year after. Communication is extremely important and it seems you both need to work on that. Make plans together and express to him that its important to you, put it on a calander⌠tell him exactly what you want he can not read your mind. ⌠but let go of something like this itâs not worth destroying your marriage over.
1 Like
I can totally empathize that your feelings were hurt, and I know how much that sucks. ButâŚPeople are not mind readers and typically take things at face value. If you didnât clarify the importance of your anniversary than you donât get to penalize him for making other plans. I can totally understand being disappointed that it felt like just another day. But now, a year later, youâre continuing to punish him when heâs asked you about plans for your anniversary? That doesnât seem very fair. He obviously heard you when you said you were upset, heâs now trying to celebrate the occasion as you wanted him to, but your still punishing him. If you intend to live all of your marriage with a scoreboard things are going to go downhill very fast. Specify to your husband which holidayâs are important to you and how you would like to be treated, ask him the same. Not everyone feels the same about every occasion. For me; my birthday isnât that big of a deal to me, I prefer to spend it with my kids making me dinner and dessert, but Motherâs Day is where I want to be spoiled. To other people thatâs weird, but thatâs what makes me happy. Everyone is different. Donât assume he âknowsâ! Good luck!
Youâre being petty af
3 Likes
Wow you sound awful!!! For one you shouldnât have been upset with him in the 1st place. Just because itâs your anniversary it doesnât mean yâall have to spend the whole day together. Secondly he did call you that night & ask to take you to dinner, but because you couldnât get over yourself so you refused his offer. So in all truth itâs technically your fault too that you had a lousy anniversary. So in my opinion get over it because both screwed up your anniversary. Although even though certain dates are meant to be remembered and celebrated donât forget the rest of the year to show each other your love for each other.
5 Likes
Let. It. Go.
He wants to fix it this year, donât be petty.
1 Like
Lmao. How old r u? Jaiz
1 Like
He is trying to reach out so meet him half way and plan an anniversary dinner. We are fine with having a special dinner at a time we have available. It doesnât always have to be on the âspecificâ date.
No need to hang onto the past. Move forward from it!!
1 Like
You sound like an upset toddler 
2 Likes
No. You need to let it go. Youâre being petty. You had a right to be upset. You donât have a right to hold it against him for the rest of your marriage.
Is it working for you? He is trying.
This is how you loose your man . If my man wanted to go fishing and he brought fish home any day i wouldnât give a shit .The fact your holding onto to the past means you werent ready for a marriage much less a relationship . Fuck is this even real life ? He literally still wanted to take u out to dinner ! Wow
Actually being a little petty
1 Like
Nope life is too short to be petty and unhappy.
I can definitely see why you were upset, canât say that I wouldnât act any differently if my husband did that on our first anniversary, BUT he is making an effort and if you keep rejecting his offer to take you out on yâallâs anniversary then it will never be a special day to you and youâll both be miserable whenever your anniversary rolls around every year.
2 Likes
you are creating distance between u and your partner pathetic !
1 Like
He canât fix it if he doesnât know whatâs broken. Communication is key in any relationship without it there is no point. My SO and I have never celebrated an anniversary and we have been together for 16yrs. Now if I wanted to go out or have certain meal all I have to do is tell him, and if the date isnât open we make sure we do it the next night. I personally donât need that day to be special. As long as we are happy and healthy that is all that matters. I highly recommend sitting down with him and explain how it felt and what he could do going forward. I find most men are horrible with important dates.
2 Likes
Let it go you sound like a child
1 Like
I donât blame you. But also you need to be loud, clear and vocal as can be about how you feel and what you need
Yes leave him. He doesnât love you. This is Narcissist behavior
2 Likes
Petty and childish holding grudges and not moving on
1 Like
There is no room for grudges in a marriage. He wanted to take you out, so give him that chance. If he starts feeling like no matter what he does it wonât please you and that he is damned if he do damned if he doesnât he will stop putting effort in all together. I can understand youâre hurt but itâs not healthy to carry it to the grave. Celebrate being together another year and enjoy some time together. Itâs so important.
If yall were together for 11 years and just got married why would you be upset for him going out on yalls 1 year wedding anniversary when yall were already together for 11 years?
5 Likes
To me, it sounds like a gap in communication from the get-go. Maybe the 2 of you have completely different ideas or thoughts regarding anniversaries or âromanticâ holidays. Sit down together, have an open table discussion, come to a mutual understanding of each other. THIS is a very important factor.
Communication Communication Communication
2 Likes
Your petty, he offered dinner he did try
1 Like
Arenât you fun!
Seriously though lighten up. You are going to be the cause of your marriage breaking down due to irreconcilable differences and the constant need to bring unhappiness into your home.
The temprement of a woman depends on the happiness of her home! Read that again.
3 Likes
Exactly how do you expect him to make it up to you if you reject any effort to fix his mistake even a year later?
3 Likes
Life is too short to hold grudges. Just let it go
1 Like
Why didnât you go fishing with himâŚ
5 Likes
Get over it and stop being petty itâs been a year. Heâs saying he wants to do something this year but you donât so why whinge about it 12 months later
1 Like
Move past it. Itâs not worth it. Life is too short to hang on to hurt and anger. You have let him know it hurt you, he is aware now move on and make amends.
Um ya I think u should get over it, your feelings are valid but itâs time to let it go. Is this really how u wanna live your marriage, holding grudges?
3 Likes
Ummm GROW UP!! You have been with the man for 11 years⌠why did it take you all so long to get married!
1 Like
He probably needs to just leave your ungrateful ass. You still in high school?
No. You donât. Thatâs ridiculous
1 Like
Um. Grudge needs to die or your relationship will.
4 Likes
Let it go,as long as he stays on track lol.Iâm sure you were hurt but,it is for better or worse soâŚlet him make it up and honestly be glad he is willing to.
Youâre being petty he offered to take you to dinner after his fishing tournament and this year he also offered dinner do you love him if you do then stop being petty or you will end up getting a divorce
Honey, you is PETTY.
5 Likes