Do I have a right to be upset?

We are a blended family. My two girls got married and put their step siblings in their weddings. when it was their turn to get married neither put my kids in their weddings. I feel so disappointed and hurt (my kids too). Do I give up my Brady bunch dreams now?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset?

Yes. Focus on having a healthy, happy family. We cannot control what other people do, let it fall off your back & try not to internalize things like that. I don’t think that they did it to intentionally hurt you, don’t let it get it to you, you’re an awesome :clap: Mom Remember that & tell yourself that everyday ! :blush: You win

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If your kids are upset they need to discuss it with the siblings. It’s not on you, it’s not your fight of they’re adults. Heck, my sister didn’t want me in her wedding because I’m too fat. 🤷

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If thats all you have to be upset about, then you are winning…

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Yes each person is allowed to make their special day theirs how they see fit and they saw different . Let it go and move on

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Yes they aren’t obligated to return the favour!

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I’m sorry but just because your children put their stepsiblings in their weddings doesn’t mean the stepsibings are obligated to do the same. Each are entitled to make their wedding special to them even if their family isn’t directly in the wedding. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about eachother. I’m sure feelings were hurt, but ultimately, the choice of who’s standing by them is up to them.

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I understand the hurt. But its not your battle if your kids feel some type of way they need to speak up. They are adults love.

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I get that you’re upset. But they’re not obligated to put them in their wedding.

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This happened to me honestly and I was and sometimes still am so hurt but no one else is so I’m just hurting myself it’s best to let it go. It isn’t worth it to hold onto it because it’s already done and there’s nothing you can do now. I’m sorry :disappointed:

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Don’t let it bother you, my half sister who I grew up with and never once referred to as half growing up when she got married my other sister and I felt like outsiders she did pictures with his side of the family and didn’t do pictures with any of our side we weren’t included in her planning or getting ready and completely ignored the whole evening

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No, it’s not your battle and you can control what they do. They are adults and capable of discussing it with one another if they choose to. I wouldn’t let a couple events hurt your family where you give up on them, because sometimes people have reasons behind what they do, even if you don’t understand them.

None of my siblings had me in their weddings 🤷

Everyone makes their own decisions. Since they’re getting married it must mean they are adults. Don’t let it bother you. Nothing you could have done. No time to be hurt, just move on.

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No one is obligated to have family siblings or not in their weddings it’s their day their choice so no you have no right to be upset because it’s not your choice it’s not your wedding and it’s really none of your business

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May as well… I wasn’t invited to any of the 3 weddings my step sister had lol shows you where you stand with blended family members :woman_shrugging:

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No because maybe the step kids already had lifelong friends and some family members they were closer to. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. And I don’t really think anyone should have a discussion about it. Just because you’re now a relative of someone because they were married into the family doesn’t make you someone entitled to be in a wedding. That’s just being realistic.

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I can kind of see why you’re upset, however, your step kids are not, in any way, obligated to include your kids in their wedding. I’m sure they still love your kids just the same, they may just have other friends that they want to be apart of their wedding. It’s THEIR wedding(s). It’s not as dramatic as you’re making it to be. I included my SIL in my wedding and I was not asked to be in hers and I was okay with that. She wanted her sisters to be apart of it. I don’t have sisters and didn’t have many friends, so it worked out pretty perfectly.

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I wouldn’t take it too personally. Some people don’t have their siblings in their weddings at all as they have best friends they choose instead.

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Your feelings are valid but ultimately their wedding is not about you or your kids.
They have a right to make their day exactly as they want it.
When I got married my sister was my maid of honor and my friends were upset with me because they felt it should have been them for their various reasons. In the end I chose family as to not rank friends over each other. But it made it very stressful having to worry about everyone else’s feelings about MY day. NOT THEIRS

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If I put Everton in my wedding that I’ve been in a wedding for the party would be stupid

I think y’all taking it too personally…just be happy for them and move on. The problem with society today is everyone thinks everything is about them when in reality, it has nothing to do with them at all. If you look for a problem you’ll find one every single time. It’s not worth it

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I understand why you feel that way. It’s hard to watch kids not treated the same. But as mentioned, there are other factors. Lifelong friends, maybe their no mom would have taken issue with it, etc.

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My best friend wasn’t even gonna put me in her wedding (because I have 3 kids with very little help ) but shit hit the fan with the girl she put as the maid of honor… needless to say I wasn’t the maid of honor (because she knew I wouldn’t be able to help with planning ) but I was a brides maid! I also had one thing none of the girls had 20+ friendship with her so I was in the family photos professionally done of her wedding… sometimes it’s not about the rights to be … sometimes people think of the burden it will be on that persons lives… (even if it’s not meant to be a burden having to much to do can become a burden….

So you’re all adults, right?

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I can understand how you feel
But at the end of the day
Its their wedding
And their choice as to who is in their wedding party

You are still a blended family
Nothing will change that

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You don’t do things from the heart looking for the same in return…your children planned their weddings the way they wanted them let them do the same…

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It’s their wedding day… let them do what makes them happy.

I dare someone to tell who must have in my wedding :joy::joy:

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You have the right to feel your emotions because they are your emotions.
With that being said they have the right to choose who they have in their wedding. Putting someone in your wedding does not require them to put you in their wedding.

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I was in my “step” sister’s wedding as a bridesmaid (I’ve known her since age 3 and am 3yrs older), but not a maid of honor, she had her 2best friends as maids of honor and I felt that was completely fine, because it’s HER wedding, she felt like those 2were able to help her more with the details, throw her bachelorette party, etc…and she was right! I wouldn’t have had the time, energy, etc…to do that for her even though I would’ve loved to!(I have 2young children and she lives 8hrs from me) I was a bridesmaid and was so honored for her to include me at all! She was thinking of not only her day, but her family and friends and our feelings/pressures/situations as well! Also, her actual half sister was not a bridesmaid either, and I was, but that’s because her sister was busy planning her own wedding at the same time! Sometimes things are not just about one thing… there’s sooooooo much behind it you need to think!

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Well, I only had a friend be in my wedding and not my sisters. While my sisters had all of us in their weddings.

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not your wedding,
not your choice. :grimacing:

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“Do I give up my Brady bunch dreams now?”… wth does that even mean?
The only wedding we have control over, is our own. Don’t be so dramatic.

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My husband was in his cousins wedding but I wasn’t I also wasny in my brother and sister in law wedding but my sis in law was in mine you need to let it go they will be close on there own terms I have 6 kids total brady bunch they all stick for one another but they have their picks on you they wanna be around you have to let them do that

Their wedding, their day, their ideas, their rules. Sorry.

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Grow up…its their wedding their choice for their special day

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I’d be upset about it but not much you can do. It’s there wedding. And if your children have a problem they should prob let the step siblings know and I’m sure something could be worked out.

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If all of these kids are married you are well past the Brady bunch.

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If petty was a person you would be them.

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Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone minimize your hurt. Yes, it is their choice but I can understand your disappointment

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Growing up in blended families I’ll tell you this, if you are going into it thinking there’s going to be Brady bunch type dreams you are setting yourself up for failure for sure. It’s their wedding, their day, their rules. There’s no reason to push your idea of a family on to them at all. Grow up.

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Whats’ done, is done & the whole family now has 2 deal with the ripple effects :slightly_frowning_face: Sorry.

Did someone guilt your two daughters into asking their step siblings to be a part of their wedding?

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I would feel the same way…esp after putting them in mine smh. Thats terrible

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Just cause your kids put them in their weddings doesn’t meant he are required to do the same.
You can be upset but it’s up to the people while plan the wedding since it’s their wedding.

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Mehhhh :woman_shrugging: I get it but it’s not your day

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the Brady bunch is a fantasy on tv… youre in reality, that is real & unfair… stop expecting people to do things you feel are right, you’ll be disappointed & let down every time…

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Never expect anything, have no expectations because then you can’t get hurt. I am getting married next year, and I don’t expect or care if I’m in any of my bridesmaids weddings after they are in mine. I mean I would be honored and happy if asked, but I don’t expect to be because I know they are closer to other people in their lives then me. I really wouldn’t take it personally. Your feelings are valid, but if you have expectations, be prepared to be disappointed. Such as now…

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So what you’re saying is that because your children chose to have their step children in their weddings your step children are somehow obligated to have them in their weddings? Just because someone makes a choice doesn’t mean that the other person has to make same choice or return the favor. You & your kids sound entitled to me. That’s probably why your step kids don’t want them in their weddings.

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I completely understand you being hurt. But weddings are extremely special. Just because you are a blended family and just because your kids had them in their weddings doesn’t mean their obligated to have them in theirs.

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I would probably be a little upset to. But typically people ask people they are closest to. Maybe the stepsiblings have friends they are closer to then their steps?

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you didn’t say how old all the kids were when the first weddings happen, Were the other kids , just kids.??? Or were they all close in age? Your kids are obviously older & how long between the weddings, were they.? Now since everyone is grown ups, everyone should be grown ups & let it go. This is all the bride’s choice, not yours or anyone else’s.

Just because the step sisters didn’t choose your children to be in their weddings doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. There may be financial reasons, there may have been pressure from the other side of their family not to, there may have been closer friends they wanted, there may have been a friend group your kids didn’t click with. Don’t read too much into it. And let your children handle it the way they choose.

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I only chose the people I feel the closest to. My sister. My best friend and my cousin. I really don’t care what anyone thought. I was having the biggest moment of my life and wanted to be sure I was comfortable and free. :heart:

When did weddings become returning favours? :woman_facepalming:t4: it’s their day, let them be happy with whatever decisions they make.

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I mean, I had my bonus girls in my wedding, and that was pretty nice I don’t think I’d be offended if my girls weren’t included in the other mamas, weddings are hella stressful, and honestly it’s just nice to have everyone you love there :slight_smile:

I would be hurt. I would feel if I’m not important enough to be in their wedding why did they say yes to being in mine?

No that makes there discussions to include them in the wedding conditional not out of love. It’s thier own wedding not yours. Keep it separate, it’s not personal.

I only talk to my step siblings and not my real ones so… yes I think you should leave your kids alone. Siblings can be dicks

I would def be upset. But maybe their mom or other side of the family put pressure on them. ???

Just leave them out from now on. 🤷