I truly feel like when it comes to your kids and you tell anyone you don’t want your kids around a certain someone then they need to respect it. Because I bet ultimately youre the one who takes more care of those babies, and I wouldn’t trust him alone with them anymore if he can’t follow one basic rule for the safety of his kids.
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So like does she smoke pot? Or like meth? Cause “ using drugs” can mean a whole variety of things.
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You are one hundred percent justified. At this point if he’s in and out of there lives and couldn’t respect the ONE THING you asked of him I would take him to court, I get the logic you probably have even though he’s not consistent he’s still there father and you shouldn’t deprive your kids even if he’s only coming around when it’s convenient but if you have put up with all that shit and you only asked that a KNOWN drug user isn’t aloud around your kid then yeah you should be pissed, because 8/10 times he’ll probably be sucked down her rabbit hole and start using too. Weed is a drug, I don’t care if people smoke it, but not all people feel that way, so I find it very sad so many MOMS are on this post trying to rationalize it by saying “well if it’s not a hard drug and is only weed” how about NO. You don’t know what this woman is comfortable with and she may not like weed so instead of asking 20 questions maybe everyone should try being compassionate and letting her know it’s okay to feel how she does there’s a wild idea, and as a mother I don’t care if people smoke it but you better not be smoking it within 50 feet of my kid or have any of it on you around my kid, some people should think logically because I guarantee every other mother on this page feels the same way a drugs, a drug and I don’t care what it is I wouldn’t want my kid around it so please be compassionate and put yourself in this woman’s shoes instead of trying to poke holes in her story and how she feels. She gave plenty enough info in her original post. To the original poster you know in your gut as a mother what you should do, so do it. You aren’t wrong.
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Lmfao toxic women love a good drug rumour! Unfortunately although you think you’re the authority bc you’re the mother, you’re not. You can’t dictate who dad lets around the kids unless you can prove they’re dangerous. Do you provide evidence to him that everyone you’re around is safe or is that just assumed bc you’re the mom? Some of these responses are are fucked up lol get some evidence then proceed if she’s that dangerous to the child otherwise get a court order so his time is specified and move on and quit concerning yourself with his new life and gf.
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Use your best judgment as a mother. I will suggest give the girl a chance. Rumors can be that just rumors but generally you can tell if someone is using drugs…meet with them as an adult and talk about your concerns. Co-parenting can be hard especially when there is no communication only arguments. You have to put your feelings aside for your child (that works both ways).
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You have a right to be upset cause he lied. But before jumping to conclusions I would try and get the correct info on his girlfriend. Meet her and make ur own observations. Then proceed from there. Little towns are bad for gossip.
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If she has a reputation of drug use then yes you have every right. She could be doing it with your son around. She could one day be watching him and do drugs and become incoherent and not watch him and something could happen. 3 of my kids aren’t biological. Their bio mom is a drug addict and my husband got full custody. She will NEVER be left alone with our kids and that’s in the court order because of all the things she’s done and how she is. You can’t take something like this with a grain of salt. It could be serious and if you respond with oh well I don’t want to overact then you risk avoiding a bad situation should there be one. It could be false rumors or it could be real. I say do a background check, ask to meet her, and get ahold of anyone who knows her well and try to get “references”. If she does in fact do drugs, I say go to the courts and provide your proof and get a restraining order or the thing in custody arrangements that refuses a parent to have a kid around someone.
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Some of these comments are alarming. If a parent could have their kid around anyone they want and that’s that then my husband’s ex, if she still had the legal right to be left alone with our kids, would be having our kids around a full blown child sex offender. She went and married a rapist with a record and y’all are basically saying because she’s our kids other mom that it’s her choice to allow our kids around him. So she can be with a drug addict and rapist and have our kids around him because she’s their parent also and it’s her decision when they’re with her?! Insane. Whether it’s drugs or abuse or anything. If the person is a danger to the children the other parent has a right to not allow the kids around them. And yes drugs make a person a danger to children.
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Do a background check on this girl and if hes serious about her take him to court and have judge order a drug test on her. U can have all the say in it
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I mean unless you get it in a court order there isn’t much you can do really.
You can be upset but you can’t control who is around your child without proof and the courts and even then it doesn’t always work the way you want
Is she in active drug use?or is she a recovered addicts. Was she really doing drugs or just rumors I’m a recovered addict. My personal experience if shes an active drug addict do what u can so your child’s bot around her if shes a recovered addict dont assume shes a horrible person until u get to know her
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No you’re not. You do what’s best for your child.
First educate yourself! You sound completely silly! First of all you state how good of a father he is. Then you question his choice of female because of yappy cackling hens around town??? Sounds like you need to put on your big girl panties sit them both down together and discuss the issue and or concerns as adults.
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Like it or not, you don’t get to dictate your ex’s life. You trusted him enough to have a child with him. This means you have to trust him enough not to put your child in a dangerous situation. If it becomes a dangerous situation, then you act.
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Nope not over reacting
I would start by actually finding out if the rumors are true…
He definitely shouldn’t have lied to you, BUT. Unless this girl is on drugs, and you know she is, don’t be like that. As a recovering addict, I’ve been clean for 2 and a half years and if someone didn’t want their kid to be around me because of something I USED to do, that’s kind of shitty. Im definitely not a bad person, some people just make bad choices, but that doesn’t mean you get to shame them forever for it.
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Yes men have rights of visitation. You are wrong indeed. You don’t get to decide who comes along. Thankfully there are courts.
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Maybe try to get to know her first. Rumors are funny thing. Im in a town of 900 people. I work 6 days a week and if I’m not at work I’m at home with my two kids. I heard a rumour that I was a coke dealer 
I’ve tried it once or twice, realized it’s probably not a good idea, and I haven’t done it in years. But apparently that’s how I bought my truck, when in reality, my mom cosigned on it and I have 3 more years of payments 
Basically don’t judge people on rumors and what you’ve heard. Find out for yourself
You don’t get to tell him he can and can’t have over his house. If it’s affecting your child that badly then get full custody.
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Well first of all, he picks and chooses when he wants to be a dad. That makes him a “bad father”. Lying about her being there? That’s just a kick in the teeth. I don’t think you’re overreacting. Tell him to get his priorities straight, and try to find out if the rumours are true.
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Your not. I would give her a drug test and if she can’t pass it then we either head to court or keep the visits supervised.
Personal experience there is nothing you can do about who he has around. I left my boys dad bc he was on drugs and the court still tried to give him every other weekend, regular visitation he never showed for anything bc he knew I knew. It took him losing his other kids to cps bc of the drugs before the court would do anything. He now has supervised visits, mandatory drug test, parenting classes, etc hasn’t followed through with any of it nor has he seen his kids in 2 years or called them.