Do I have the right to be mad at my mom for not watching my kids when I was sick?

I’m sick asf and my mom literally wouldn’t take my kids. I think I have the stomach flu and she flat out refused to watch them so I could be miserable in peace… is it just me or should she step up for me?

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I wouldn’t even ask my mom… I definitely wouldn’t expect her to help if I was sick.

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I would never ask someone other than my husband to help with the kids just cause I’m sick. That’s part of being a parent. You aren’t responsible for just yourself anymore.

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Girl they’re your kids :woman_facepalming:t4:

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Unfortunately moms/dad’s (grandparents) don’t want to watch/baby sit like they did when we were kids! We have a 5 and 6 year old and my mom and dad have only ever watched them 2 time’s and it was for about 4 hrs at the most! And I definitely know how upsetting it is that when we need help or a little break that our moms and dads don’t want to help out! And I completely understand that it’s not their kids but you would think since they are grandparents they would be willing to watch them occasionally! Adulting sucks these days and I just wish grandparents wanted to watch and see the grandkids like they used to!

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Depends on the relationship you have. My parents are both passed but when my son was an infant they would’ve ran over to take care of him in an instant if I was sick. Also now I live in a duplex with my mother in law on the other side and she would take care of me or the kids in a heartbeat if I ever asked her to if I was Ill. So yes…me I would be upset if my parents didn’t help. But us as readers of your post have no idea the dynamics of your relationship with your mom. So it’s kind of an unfair question.

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I was sick with pneumonia… could barely stay awake and no one took my kids or brought a meal, and I’m a single mom. Welcome to being an adult.

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Honestly its a part of parenting. Even though you feel terrible you have no choice but to look after your kids. I know its hard but you have to get on with it. I hope you feel better soon. Take some painkillers to help you. Good-luck x

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you are the parent they are the grand parent did you also think your kids may be contagious which a grandparent doesn’t need to be around

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Your mom raised her kids I am sure she had to take care of you many many times when she was sick suck it up buttercup

You can’t really expect it though :frowning: I’d be a tad upset if they wouldn’t help for at least a few hours but we are the parents so

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Not your parents responsibility. It’s a nice thing if they can help out or will or but not required.

Joys of parenting. Does it suck yes. But parenting don’t stop cuz your sick. I have had plenty of days with my head in a bucket throwing up. You just do the best you can.

She probably doesn’t want to get sick.

Can you be mad about it? Sure. Does she have the right to say no anyway? Yes. Unfortunately grandparents today don’t watch their grandkids like they used to which sucks, but it’s their choice.

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No you don’t have the right to be mad at your mom because she doesn’t want to take the risk of getting the flu herself while taking care of YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t3:

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I am sorry to be a little harsh but ya momma didn’t lay down and have ya kids you did… that’s why they are called her grandkids. I am a single Mom of 2 kids my Mom would offer to take my kids but they were not her responsibility they were mine. I am sorry buy toughen up buttercup it doesn’t get any easier

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I feel for kids that have parents like this. I really do. My parents would bend over backwards for their grandkids :woman_shrugging: I’m very thankful for them.
However, that being said I moved 2 hours away and don’t necessarily have that help now- so I usually miserable with annoying kids driving me nuts when I’m sick. Here’s the technology, there’s snacks everywhere. Ya’ll they won’t die :rofl::rofl:

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I literally only have my mum who helps with my kids even thought myself and husband have big families, my mum works and doesn’t keep well herself but helps when she can, if I’m sick usually I just have to suck it up n get on with it as most parents, also depends on relationship you have like my mil never takes my kids and doenst even know when there sick never mind me, but my mum would help if she can but I wouldn’t expect it

If you are a single parent then I think it’s harsh that she didn’t help you out.
My mum would offer to look after my girls and has never said no to mem

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If I’ve had a migraine attack - the odd time I’ve had help from parents/inlaws. Mostly, I’ve just struggled on my own. However, if I ever had something I could potentially pass on to my parents etc, I wouldn’t dream of asking them.

Maybe she doesn’t wanna risk getting sick? Older ppl tend to have weaker immune systems. Plus they are your kids. Not many ppl have the luxury of having their parents watch their kids.

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I mean not everyone even gets the benefit of having there parents watch their children ever , when I’m sick I don’t get to have breaks . It’s just what happens when you’re a parent I guess it’s your obligation still sadly

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Sorry, but she’s not obliged to either. You have an illness which means it’s possible your children could too… which in turns means they could pass it onto her. Some grandparents are ok with it, some aren’t and that’s ok too

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You sound ridiculous and selfish. You want your mom sick too? Jeez. Those are Your kids…

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You know its funny but when a grandparent steps out of line its always its not your kid I’m the parent but when they don’t want to help out you the parent gets mad you have to decide which you won’t grandparent involved we don’t like walking on egg shells all the time

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You sound a bit like you’ve got an entitlement issue. Sick or not, they’re your kids. Therefore, your responsibility. She’s not obligated to take care of your kids, at anytime, unless she chooses.

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Hell no just so she can get sick…
Yes you can expect her to bring you Gatorade, soups crackers on a daily basis but they are your kids

No one is obligated to your children but you and their dad. Sucks especially being your mom but :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Nope not a requirement for grand parents to watch their grand kids.

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Do you have “the right” to be mad? Sure. She also has “the right” to say no. They’re your children. My mom would never say no to helping me, I’m very fortunate for that. But I could never be mad at her if she did, for whatever reason. Grandparents don’t have that obligation. Not invalidating your feelings but we choose to have children, like a marriage, in sickness and health :rofl: Hopefully you are feeling better!

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I’m kinda laughing a bit :rofl: you want your mom to keep your kids and possibly share the stomach bug you have really I think you really need to know the definition of intitled and grow up and get over yourself you are the mom take responsibility for your children moms don’t get sick days

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Why should she?

I would rush to my daughter if she needed me too, but she wouldn’t expect it of me. I wouldn’t have from my mother either.

Welcome to adulthood and parenthood!

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I had covid… that lead to permanent lung damage… during the time of me throwing up and sh!ting myself not wanting to move I still told everyone don’t even stop by and look through the window. Knowingly spreading germs and possibly getting someone else sick just bc I want to sleep isn’t even something I’d consider.

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Family used to be dependable in a time of need. They are not any longer. And it’s sad people think this is normal.

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I mean you can be mad if you want, but it makes you sound entitled. My kid is mine to deal with whether I’m sick or not. Also, if I’m sick why in the world would I want to risk someone else getting sick? Chances are if I’ve got it the kiddo is gonna get it, also.

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I think like how someone else said - it depends on the relationship with you and your mom. I remember being extremely sick after I got my COVID shot about 2-3 years ago and I was MISERABLE!!! Couldn’t move, fatigue, weakness, all that! When my son was hungry, I used ubereats or had pizza delivered! Lmao i could not get out of bed.

She probably didn’t want to get sick as well .I would never ask I’ve never had anyone take care of my children except me and my husband.

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Um no. I would never want to pass on my sickness. I understand wanting to be sick in peace. But we kinda gave up that luxury when we became moms. I would go to the Dr if it’s really bad. I have had to bring both my kids with me when I’m that sick. I’m sorry you feel so bad. Fingers crossed it will pass soon.

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My parents would be there in a heartbeat if I needed them to. That being said, I wouldn’t ask anybody to take my daughter if I was sick especially if it’s something contagious. I wouldn’t want to risk her carrying whatever I had(just no symptoms…yet) and make anybody else sick.

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Welcome to parenthood where ur responsibility is ur responsibility and Noone else

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Idk if this is her but a lot of family won’t cause they don’t want to risk getting sick. I suppose it depends on your relationship with her. Doesn’t sound like it’s a very close one but I could be wrong. Would it be nice if she helped yes but she doesn’t have to help. It’s not her responsibility at the end of the day. Moving forward I wouldn’t be relying on her for any help or anything. 

Sick or not we still have to parent . People don’t realize all the sacrifices they’ll have to make when having children . It’s hard being sick and trying to care for your kids but you gotta just do your best that’s all we can do as moms.

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No! I wouldn’t expect my mom to be exposed to the germs and get sick too.

I wouldn’t have even had to ask my parents , they would have taken my kids right to their house for a sleepover :heart:

No, no you don’t have a right to be mad. You’re the mom, hun. That’s how this works. It would be nice if we could just sleep away our sickness and it’s great when someone OFFERS to watch the kiddos so we can rest, but no one is obligated to watch your kids. This is life with kids, hate to break it to you. Hope you get to feeling better soon. Days like this are a great excuse to turn on some cartoons for the kids and everyone get cozy on the couch.

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Maybe it’s just me but if I’m sick I just assume the rest of my house could catch it next so no I don’t ask anyone to come over or get my kids. Don’t want to pass on whatever sickness it is to anyone else. Yes it sucks having to take care of kids when you feel like you’re about to die from being sick but it’s life. I ran a 103 fever for 5 days and was still the one who got my kids up for school dropped them off picked them up and helped with homework. I caught it from them because when they get sick I have to take care of them then I get it and still have to take care of them. So no I don’t get mad if no one will come get and watch my kids when I’m sick. If you have that option though consider yourself lucky.

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Does she normally take your kids? It really depends on your relationship. But, yes, that’s heartbreaking if she did it out of principle, like “nobody helped me when I was in your shoes.”

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Welcome to being an adult

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Have u ever thought maybe she wasn’t feeling the best either. Maybe she was tired and didn’t feel 100%. U know the older people get they aren’t as resilient as the younger generation.

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My mom had my nephew when my sister was sick…. stomach flu went through all the family within a week. the little bugger carried the germs to our house.

I am shocked that so many people basically said, “suck it up”. Yes, they’re your kids, but as long as you and your child are alive you are still a parent. I wouldn’t of even had to ask my parents. If they knew I was terribly sick, they would have been at my door. When I first got separated and was taking care of 4 young children on my own, my parents came from Florida to NY to help me. I don’t care how old my kids are, if they need help from me and I’m able to do it, I’ll be there. They will never wonder if I have their back, just like I never had to wonder about my parents.

if i was sick, i’d keep my kids at home. not because my mom is high risk, but because i decided to have my own children therefore i can care for them sick or not. they’re already 90% likely to be sick if you are. it’s just rude to assume someone would take them so you can be sick in peace. nobody else wants the sickness that’s in your home lmfao i don’t blame your mom!

I have a great relationship with both my parents and I know they would help me out if I asked and if they could. I don’t expect them to though. I understand they have their own lives, plans, work, things going on, 2 of my siblings still live at home with them, etc…
It’s nice to have someone to depend on in times of need, but you shouldn’t expect anyone to drop everything for you at any given time.
Has your mom always helped in the past when you asked? Maybe she had plans or an appointment of some kind. Did you ask if she was available to help out or did you demand? We don’t have enough information to know the situation fully. Is dad available to help? Is he in the picture? It’s tough, but you’ll have to get through it.
Sending healing vibes your way! :pray:t3:

Maybe she didn’t want to get sick. If your sick your kids are carriers for sure. No you don’t have the right to be mad. Your a grown up so act like one. Where is the daddy if your that sick???

I wouldn’t risk spreading my illness to my mom.
A meal would be nice. But not expected.

Feeling sick. Just do the bare minimum. Dishes. Laundry. Meals. The meals don’t need to be fancy.

Just go with the flow.

Hope you feel better soon

I would be more sad, adult or not, sometimes we need help and ask those who we think we have support from. It can be very disappointing when the help isn’t givin. Now if she never helps you, your probably more mad at the fact you just don’t have that support you want.

Did she have a really good answer as to why she couldn’t. If not when she wanted to see them it would be questionable if she did or not.

I wouldn’t have asked because she may not want whatever illness you have. I think it would be inconsiderate and disrespectful to ask… IMO :woman_shrugging:

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Welcome to parenthood🤷🏼‍♀️ it sucks, yah we need breaks to, but doesnt mean your going to get it & you cant expect ppl to watch your kids

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I never had help when I was sick, you’re still a mom no matter the ailments

Are you crazy? You had them kids, not her. She doesn’t have to watch your children just because your sick.

Expand your “village.” Unfortunately there are few options when you or kids are sick. Older people are more susceptible to illnesses when watching the germ factories that are kids.

Are they retired or are they working? Do they have plans they can’t or don’t want to change? Does your mom have the stamina to watch all your kids? Are the kids too bratty & out of control for your mom to handle? Do you complain about how she deals with them?

Maybe you can negotiate for a couple hours a week when she/they can manage, or have two people wrangle your kids if they’re a handful.

In the meantime, take naps with them & go to bed when they do. Do simple meal prep, put off what household tasks you can until you feel less hellish.

Ask neighbors and friends to do things to simplify your life: grocery shop, vacuum, invite the kids for lunch or dinner at their place, pick up OTC or prescription meds for you, bring you & kids homemade, store-bought and/or restaurant food (preferably healthy but beggars can’t be choosy). Thank them, pay them and/or reciprocate.

Since you know your mom can’t or won’t watch them, look for other solutions in the meantime. Where’s their dad? Grandpa? Any aunts/uncles who could at least pitch in for a few hours? Any babysitters who could take your kids out of the house to a playground, an (outdoor or indoor) pool or water park, play place, the library for story hour or to pick books to look at/read while you’re there, or for a walk in a park? I’m assuming your kids are little and you’re a SAHM, or you could use sick leave while they’re at school or day care.

I would certainly offer to keep my grandkids if my daughter was ill, but some moms are just not about being there for their children and grandchildren. I’m sorry…:smiling_face_with_tear:

Oh dear lord stop whining. My mom is a piece of trash, I’ve excepted it and moved on. When I’m sick I still take care of my own kids. It is what it is :woman_shrugging:

I mean it sucks yes but they’re your kids your responsibility. Shitty situations happen but the kids are still there my friend

Your kids. Your issue. Your mom didn’t have the kids. Plenty of people don’t have any help. It’s called being a parent :person_shrugging:

YOUR KIDS! Not your Mom’s.

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I mean it’s called being a parent . It’s not her job to watch your kids… :person_shrugging:

You have the right to be mad. But she has the right not to watch them.

Stomach flu is contagious and it’s very likely that one or all your children could have it and not show any symptoms. Do you think about what if they make mom sick or just I need a break from them right now? Because that’s not fair to her.

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That’s your mom not your maid!

You’re acting like an entitled brat. It would be nice for her to help you out but she’s under no obligation to watch your kids. Why isn’t their father(s) helping? You don’t say anything about him not parenting his kids.

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So you’re okay with getting your mom sick? Bc chances are your kids are going to get sick too, you’re contagious before showing symptoms. I wouldn’t expect my mom to help.

I’m sick every day of my life (Lupus and scleroderma) I also have 5 kids who are stair steps. I’ve never asked for help as I feel like I have the flu 24/7 starting when my youngest was 2 (she’ll be 11 in 2 weeks). You just set them up in a room with food and entertainment and continue to die in your agonizing pain. The flu fortunately goes away and it’s better not to expose anyone else to it.

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Your mother isn’t a babysitter.

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I wouldn’t expect my mom to watch my kids. Kids happen to be germ magnets who would very much spread the ick to my mom.

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Probably an unpopular opinion but I’ll say it anyway :woman_shrugging: - they’re your children, unfortunately we aren’t entitled to sick days, it’s their choice to say no. There’s been many of times where I’ve been throwing up with a stomach bug whilst rocking a baby in their bouncy chair… it’s called being an adult and a parent, it’s not down to our parents it’s down to us.

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She raised her kid(s), not well obviously by how you act, but she’s done. She has zero responsibility to do anything for you.

Not her responsibility, wherescthe dad.

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Prayers for you in Jesus mighty name Amene

Some of the comments on here are just icky. I’m sorry for y’all that your parents suck ass. It’s not their responsibility but I know with my whole heart that if I was sick and struggling my mama would be there in a HEARTBEAT to take care of me AND my babies. My in laws or dad and his wife would definitely take them as well.

I don’t think she really has the right to be mad that mom said no, but damn when did being an adult mean that you can’t ask for help if you need it?

Maybe she was worried that she may also get sick.
And no, she is not obligated to take your children.
They are yours and plenty of moms have survived being sick while having to care for them.

Honestly would it be nice. Yes? But she doesn’t have to. I wish she would have since it seems pretty common place for moms to suffer and still take care of children.

It’s just you. They are your kids. It would be nice if she helped but she certainly isn’t required to. If these kids have some type of father figure or other parental figure and you needed a break that is who should have been caring for them

As mother we don’t have time to b sick sooo hun just suck it up n b4 U know it u will b over the sickness n b a warrior…

My mom would absolutely come and help me and has while I’m sick. I have a good relationship with her, we do alot for each other. Mine usually involves helping with my kids where as hers usually involves taking her places or helping around her house with things she can’t do or do by herself. However I would never get mad at her for saying no. If your relationship with her isn’t that great or you only contact her when you need/want something you can’t expect much of her. Absolutely not saying that’s the case at all, but a lack of good relationship with her is usually where those things stem from.

You can be mad, but on the flip side your mom is just as entitled to say no. You can’t expect someone to just take your kids b/c you don’t feel well & that person possibly get sick as well. Fact is, we as parents still have to step it up when we’re sick. It sucks being miserable but if you can’t find someone to take the kids then you step up for your kids. :woman_shrugging:t3:

You’re allowed to feel how you feel. Personally I’d feel more frustrated, disappointed,or hurt (depending on the reason she refuses).
This idea that we become parents and all of a sudden no longer have needs or the idea that parents don’t need help is frustrating. Particularly when referring to our own parents suddenly no longer having the supposed responsibility or being a parent themselves to help the kid they brought into this world. Lets not forget that parents have been guilty of pressuring their adult children to “give them grandkids “. I don’t know your situation /relationship with your mom but you deserve help regardless of wether or not your sick, but especially if you are sick. I’m sorry if your mom is unable/unwilling. Hopefully you have friends or other family members able/willing to assist in these times.

Not at all. Your mom can absolutely refuse. They aren’t her children.

As a mom and 76 year old grandma I would have been there to help you

No nothing is owed to you.

What kinda relationship do you have with your mom? My mom is not here anymore. However, if she was, she would’ve taken them in a heartbeat. An taken care of me at the same time

I would say I’d be more hurt than mad. I’m also the type of person who will do anything for my family or loved ones. You’re sick? Let me help you clean, care for kids, etc. your kid is sick? Let me bring you medicine so you don’t need to leave the house with the baby. I remeber once when I was like 21 I was suuuuppperrr sick and I called my dad and asked him to come take care of me (my mom passed when I was 13) and he said no way lol. It’s part of growing up. Nobody is obligated to care for you as an adult. Does your mom have any kind of health condition that would put her at great risk if she were to get it? I guess I’d just know that’s where we stand with helping one another when sick lol.

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It’s you. Parents don’t get off for sick time. If you happen to have someone to help out that’s an amazing privilege.

No one wants to catch your stomach flu from your kids…sucks to be sick and stuck…but…

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Well if it’s anything I had over thanksgiving you 100% need help ! I physically couldn’t move off the couch … but if she said no then you could have asked some one else :slightly_smiling_face: