I have a three-year-old, her biological father and I have not been together since finding out I was pregnant. Previous to that, we were together five years, and he had four kids during that time with four different women I didn’t find out about until I was a little over six months pregnant. Once confronted, he then decided to question my unborns paternity and said he wanted nothing to do with her. He was not at the hospital for her birth even though he was notified; he is not on her birth certificate; she actually has my ex-husbands last name, however; we did have a DNA test done to determine paternity for child support that I never started him on. I met a wonderful man, and we are now married, this is the only man she had ever known. He had been there for two years, and he wants to adopt her. My question is, do I need consent from her biological father? If so the problem is, he won’t agree to it…would it just be better to leave things as they are now?? Her biological father does nothing for her; he doesn’t even acknowledge her when we see him in public. I just want my husband, who wants her to have his last name to be able to have that.
Yes bio dad will need to legally sign his rights away in order for the new husband to adopt her.
Question though, she has a bio dad, but another mans last name, and now another man wants to adopt her?
Speak to a lawyer, being you did a DNA test and proved he was the father he may have legal rights, having said that, you can hit him up for child support.
My friend adopted his wife’s daughter. The court told them that as long as the biological father has not had any attempt of contact for a year, that they did not need his consent. It probably just depends on where you are though.
Take him for child support that may get him to sign off his rights for her to be adopted.
He has to sign away rights. You could always threaten him with back child support if he refuses. Sounds like he’s a complete POS anyways.
Yes need bio dad permission, you can try going through courts to fight it without his permission but that will cost money & if he wants to he can request visitation right & you child support during these court proceedings
This is gonna be different in every state. Ask your local courthouse or lawyer
Talk to a lawyer because you could possibly say that bio dad abandoned her which means he doesn’t support her hasn’t seen or talked to her and typically that has to be true for 4-6 months then a court will grant his rights be stripped and step dad can adopt her from that. But speak to a lawyer about it
If bio dad is not on birth certificate, he has no rights to the child
After years, you could take him to court and try to argue abandonment and then request the adoption. Good luck.
Check your state laws. Some states will allow you to file if the other parent has abandon the child. If all else fails, get support from bio-dad and offer to drop it for signature on adoption consent. I generally wouldn’t suggest this, but if bio has nothing to do with her and doesn’t want to, perhaps monetary motivation will work.
Charge forwards and follow through. Of Anything God forbid ever happened to you then if adopted your husband now would get her. Otherwise… She would probably wind up with someone else
Not if not on birth certificate but different where you live
Admin, the hashtags have got to go! Lol
We went through this as i was the child in my situation. My biological father had to sign his rights away and he did so after my mom said she woild drop all the unpaid childsupport charges. See if you can talk to a lawyer about backdating childsupport he should have been paying amd then hou can use that
If he’s not on the birth certificate I don’t think consent is necessary
Who is listed on her birth certificate? I would think whoever is listed on there would be the one that needs to sign off
I’d assume it was whoever is on the birth certificate?
Yes you have to get his permission.
Speak to a lawyer. Many will do free or very cheap consultations. It really depends on the laws specific to your state, and I imagine your husband wouldn’t be opposed to spending a few bucks figuring out exactly what you need to do! Good luck to you 
The bio dad needs to give up paternal rights for your husband to adopt. If he says no theres really nothing you can do…whether hes in your child’s life or not unfortunately.
Unfortunately because you got a paternity test and he is the father you would first have to establish a time line if his negligence and lack of contact. Also once you do that you have to bring him back to family court and terminate all his rights and at that time tell the judge that the child will be going through the adoption process with your current husband. Sometimes even with “rights” abolished he may still have to agree and sign. Good luck
In Florida, bio dad must consent to a step-parent adoption.
If he has nothing to do with her or on the birth certificate. Screw him. He has absolutely NO leg to stand on in court. He wants to go against you. Then he can pay child support. And they’ll take back child support from when she was born. Don’t give into any threats from him. The courts won’t take a “father “ that has made zero attempts to be one and only gets mad when another man steps up.
Yes. He had to sign over all rights to her.
Get an attorney they will be best at advising you on this issue
If he is listed in anyway as her parent then he must give up parental rights however you can take him to court to have his right terminated and then your husband has every right to adopt her
Of course.
Ur kids only 50% yours
And it’s also 50% his
Just do it right so there’s no drama and lies
If hubby wants to adopt I don’t see there being an issue.
Bio dad will love that he won’t be financially responsible for it
I think I would have a conversation with the biological dad first and see if he objected. Then after his answer go from there
Depends on the state. Esp bc he can come back saying you knew the paternity,
Your best bet is to talk to a lawyer.
Also if the adoption does go through and you are looking very far into the future and God forbid something happens to you/or the current marriage and you don’t want your husband to have custody you will have to legally state that somewhere in front of a judge… could cause problems though with you and your husband 
They may be able to involuntarily remove his rights since from what u said he has done nothing for the child
If he’s not on the birth certificate, what’s thepriblem?? I wouldn’t worry, do it!!
I don’t think so. I would say maybe from your ex husband because she has his last name. Lol
In Louisiana, a few years back, if the other parent had no contact or support for 6 months or more, they had no rights to the child. He has to be notified and he has the right to show up in court…but it doesn’t mean the judge will grant him anything. We went through it with our oldest daughter. It’s called an interfamily adoption.
Go to the courts and petition to have his parental rights stripped. Which shouldnt be too hard since he has technically abandoned her. Once thats done petition the court to have him adopt her
Bio dad needs to sign over parental rights in order for your husband to adopt her. If bio dad refuses, tell him you will pursue legal action to collect child support, including any and all back child support, but if he signs over his rights, you will not do this. I would also strongly advise getting a lawyer that specializes in family law, explain the situation to them so the lawyer can draw up documents and have them served to bio dad. The legal fees are well worth it to not have to deal with bio dad on your own.
A child can’t be adopted without the father agreeing/signing his rights away, or the court taking them away.
If what you say is true, he wants nothing to do with the child, then having her adopted takes away his responsibility for child support, I don’t see him not agreeing to it. If he does fight it, the courts might agree with termination anyways.
Either way you have to file with court for a legal adoption.
If he’s not on the birth certificate then he’s got no parental rights so I don’t believe permission is needed.
The man whose name is on the birth certificate is also considered her father, you might have to get his permission as well.
Yes you need his consent. You’ve already had a dna test done. Doesn’t matter if you are getting child support or not it’s on record. Go after him for abandonment.
Depends on the state you live in. I been through what you went through not married but an ex. However my ex had no visits ect and never paid child support in California they have what’s called an abandonment law no contact including paying child support for 1 year and then I petitioned the court got his rights taken away and my now husband adopted my daughter a few years ago.
But…I’ve also known people who have signed an acknowledgment of paternity and send in a money order to the state and got their husbands names on the kids birth certificates and also their last name changed to his. Depends on how you go about it.
Petition the court to terminate his rights due to child abandonment. My sister did this in TN with her ex. They gave a court date notified him of what was going on and if he did not show up his rights would be taken. He didn’t show and so they did terminate his parental rights. That was after a year and a half of no contact with my then 10 year old niece.
Tell him to sign the adoption papers or you will pursue support.
If he’s still not on her birth certificate, I’m pretty sure you do not have to have permission. With the paternity test and possible child support, that’s where it gets iffy. I’d see if there’s a custody lawyer who would do a low cost/free consultation with you and talk about your options.
He will have to be notified going through this now . But you can ask him the sign his rights overs
Regardless of whether he is on the birth certificate, the court knows he’s the dad because of the paternity test. They didn’t throw it away… trust me. You’ll still need to petition the court to terminate his rights or have him give them up before you know an even think about it.
And if they were considering child support, yes dear, he has rights.
You can file for abandonment, but that takes a lot of back tracking and finding proof, because if he says he’s been there, it would be ones word against the other.
However, if he wants to be an ass about it, even though he’s never been there, file for a child support order. He’d be responsible for payments all the way back to birth, birthing and medical costs up until now, and to keep insurance for her.
Don’t blackmail, it’s illegal, and he can nail your ass to the wall with it. (“Tell him to sign or get sued with support” yeah… like you want jail time too). Just do it, no threats, just consequences of him being an asshole just to be difficult. If he wants to be absent daddy, then he can do absent daddy things.
Hire a lawyer and take him to court. Have your husband file that he wants to adopt her. He’s not paid support or been there for her and a judge may rule that it’s in the best interest of your daughter for your husband to adopt her. Best I can tell you is go talk to a lawyer because you’re gonna need one.
First off- what state do you live in? Different laws for different states.
If father isn’t on the birth certificate, then as far as I know, he doesn’t have any rights. So you shouldn’t need anyone’s permission x
Most states have 100’s of family court lawyers that do free consultations. My suggestion is to call a few and go talk to a legal professional. That way you are well prepared for the laws in your state.
It all depends on what state she lives in
I was in a situation something like yours. You can get a lawyer- he will put a notice in your local paper & if the ex doesn’t do anything in a certain amount of time to stop the adoption it goes through. My lawyer at the time said he would only run it in a paper that only the court house got \ one that not just anybody got. Good luck.
Ask an attorney.he will guide you in the right direction
Name isnt on her birth certificate, BUT because I went for child support and got a DNA test done, then the courts will have on file he is the father. So…now…because of that…you must have him sign away all his rights AND you will NOT get child support.
You have so much evidence of him abandoning his child…so I’m sure it wont be hard.
Good luck mama.
i have a feeling you won’t have any trouble getting him to sign her over lol… but if she already has his last name, isn’t that meaning that he’s already recognized as his daughter?
If you bring up that he will no longer have to pay child support, he might agree?
In Ohio you have to post on a newspaper for i think it is 28 days thru the court and if he does not respond you will have your adoption approved by the courts. I would advise you retain an attorney
Just wanted to say you have a great man for wanting to do this. May God Bless You All
My ex (alcoholic), bitched about wanting visitation. He got it then kept making excuses not to get them. Ok whatever. Then the one morning he was suppose to get them, thank god he didn’t, he was in a car accident (drinking), where both car seats ended up in the road. That was my last straw. When.mynhusband and I got married he wanted to adopt them. After ex continued the hearings 2x the 3rd he finally signed away his rights.
The point is, I think every situation is different, so talk to a lawyer, document everything, and go from there.
If he hasn’t had anything to do with child even support and was notified that she was indeed his. You may be able to file abandonment and force him to sign over rights due to zero contribution either he signs over rights or pays 3 years of child support plus starts payment of regular child support. I personally don’t like this method but if he hasn’t tried to be in her life it’s a possibility to do
I think it should be the child’s decision to make. Also, it’s been three years. My dad has raised me since I was 6 months old. Both my mom and dad made it known when the time was right if it was what I WANTED then they would start the process. I think I was around 6/8 years old when I asked him to adopt me.
Yes. Regardless of your relationship status, if he is on the birth certificate, you must attempt to have him sign away his parental rights prior to your husband adopting. Legally the bio father shares 50/50 unless specified otherwise through the courts. You might be able to claim abandonment but I’ve gotten a lot of mixed information about how to go about it. Each state is different as well, so keep that in mind. Contact a family law attorney for more information
You have to legally notify him. He has to sign his rights away.
Talk to attorney !!!
Free advice
Hopefully File abandonment charges he’s guilty of it … and go from there …
And be prepared to fight because he could still get rights etc if he fights back
But I wouldn’t leave it alone your daughter deserves a real father and your husband deserves to be an official dad legally
If he’s not on the birth certificate then I don’t think so. We’re you married to him at time of birth?
Since you had a pater ity test done, you’ll need his permission. If he doesn’t agree to the adoption then I believe you have a notice put in the paper and if he doesn’t respond then rhe adiption can be started.
Bad as it sounds, start child support. Use that as a bargaining chip to get him to sign over right. He has zero involvement so he most likely wont be happy paying anything and makes the choice sweeter to sign her over.
If the biological father is on the bc yes you have too
Since name isnt on birth certificate…put new husbands…
I’d suggest just leaving it alone, that might stir the pot and ruin what you have going on. It’s just a peice of paper. In my opinion! Good luck!
You have to have a signature/ he has to be served in oklahoma
He can’t do nothing of he’s not on the birth certificate he ha sno rights what’s so ever that’s in the UK I think your husband has to adopt her to change her name legal an you will to but you are best to talk to someone like a lawyer
In my world he would either pay child support or term his rights . Plain and simple.
I adopted my kids from a family member, in court the dad was not there as he was in jail , he refused to sign the papers but the judge termed his rights as he had no way or plan to support his children. So if he wants fight it he will need to prove his intentions to support his child with time and parenting as well as financial. You can prove he has not even attempted, it’s time to step up or step down and the courts will want to know why he has not .
if its on record that hes the father yes you need consent to either adopt or change a name… but if he wont do it… honestly let it go … she can be adopted when she turns 18 if thats what she wants… a kid knows who “Daddy” is… and they also realize when a parent is crap … just make sure she knowd shes loved and even if she cant have “daddys name” right now she will always be daddys little girl…
Leave it the way it is, and have your husband tell her she may not carry his last name but she has his heart.
I have 2 boys who have their SDs last name and on none official papa we work, their last names are his. Official paperwork they are their last name.
It would be a step parent adoption. Thr judge terminate his rights based on abandonment. Talk to a lawyer to make sure all the bases are covered.
Take him to court and Have him sign his rights over. And go from there.
Contact a attorney for advice
I live in MN and even with my sons father wanting to sign his rights over to my boyfriend he can’t adopt him until we’re married but we’ve been together 14 years, MN does not accept common law marriage. Bogus. But that being said he has to agree to him adopting her I believe
If he’s not on the birth certificate (where I live anyways ) then he has no parental rights over the child
Wrong, so wrong Cynthia!
Depends on your state. In most states if the father isnt on the BC and there is no paternity established then the father has no legal rights. If paternity has been established then he has rights even if he isnt listed on the BC. Just talked to lawyer in your area to get the right answers for where you live.
Yes he has to sign away his rights to the child for your husband to adopt. If he doesn’t want to sign then go after him for support and watch how fast he signs that paper for you.
I’m going through the exact same thing, except my child is 9. I had to get a lawyer to process everything. The lawyer has to get court dates so a judge can summon him via the sheriffs office. Its g the ing to take awhile.
It depends. In PA, even if he’s on the birth certificate, if he hasn’t made contact in 6months you can file for abandonment and he can have his rights terminated by the courts and then your husband can adopt. Look up step parent adoption laws in your state and if you can, I would consult a lawyer that deals in family law
You messed up going for child support because now paternity has been established in court…
In arkansas, if mother and father were not married at time of birth, bio father has NO PARENTAL RIGHTS. Since paternity test was done, they will notify him, but, if he’s had no verbal or physical contact in 12 consecutive months, they may proceed with the adoption due to father abandoning child.
What would he care who adopts her? He obviously doesn’t want her. Let new hubby who actually cared about her adopt her.
Maybe contact a lawyer???
No, don’t give him a thought, just be happy and let this man, who obviously thinks more of this child than her deadbeat father, adopt her. Congratulations be happy 
Your local family court clerk should be able to give you the answers to those questions that pertain to your state. Every state is different.