Do my kids have a right to know their siblings?

I am from Canada and the father of my children(we haven’t been together for years), had a child with someone else but refuses to allow the children we share together see this other child. Is there a way I can take something to the court to have visits implemented so that the siblings have a chance to know eachother without the prejudiceof the parents?The mother of the child isn’t cooperative either. I feel like my kids definitely deserve and have the right to know their blood sibling and be involved. Both of the said parents have substance abuse issues and heavy involvement in social services in the past. Am I being ridiculous? Over stepping boundaries maybe?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do my kids have a right to know their siblings?

I think it would do more damage than good having your children around them if they both have substance abuse problems.


It’s not your choice. If both the father and mother said no then that means no. If you continue to ask them then it’ll be considered harassment. Just let it go as hard as it is knowing that your children have other siblings but that’s what happens when an ex partner moves on.


Nope. I’m Canadian aswell. There’s nothing you can do about it. Once all the kids are over 18, they can decide on their own without their parents consent


The kid’s parents said no. Sibling or not, that means no. You can tell them about the kid when they get older if they want to try to reach out later on but til 18 the kid has no say only parents


There isn’t anything you can do. But making them aware that their sibling exists is great!


I feel like you should respect their wishes. While you may not agree or understand, you have to respect their wishes.

My oldest son, has a sibling that lives 25 minutes from us.
He doesn’t know she exists.
Not entirely because neither mother wants them to, but. It’s hard to know when the timing is right for kids that have already felt loss in their lives and are still working through having such an awful biological dad.


I’ll be honest. No one deserves anything in life. Why is this such an issue for you. You need to respect that child’s parent and they said no, so that means no!


Honestly, I wouldn’t want my children anywhere near that hot mess. You are better off leaving it alone until they are all older


Most people fight to not put their kids through this and here you are trying to force it upon them. Focus on what you can do for them and their happiness and let that go.


Unfortunately that’s a losing fight however i think we all would agree that it SHOULD be something all parents should stand behind. Just nothing that can be done if both of the other parents decline. I’d make your children at least aware & show pictures any time you can get some.


I’d leave it alone. I wouldn’t want to subject my kids to that and my girls have 3 half siblings they have never met. 1 older. 2 younger. My girls are 18 and 19 now and still don’t want/need a relationship with them.


No they don’t have the right and neither do you. Move on. It seems like you probably care more about it than they do.


I’m sorry but if they have substance issues going on then why would you want to put your children in the middle of it just because they have 1 sibling to connect them to that type of life. Your children might get caught up with whatever they’ve got going on and you’d have problems within your household…not saying that’s the case but you never know.


Unfortunately, not your right​:person_shrugging: my kids have siblings that they’ve never met. They know about him I’ve told him about him I’ve showed them pictures, mine are the younger ones, the other mom refused to let them have anything to do with them… when they were old enough they were given information to contact if they wanted to :disappointed: but they have chosen not to.


Unfortunately there really isn’t a lot you can do. Yes they deserve to know their family including siblings but unless the other siblings parents are willing to cooperate there isn’t much you can do.


Sadly its not up to you how they raise their other children. If they are choosing to not have the children in contact that is their choice and you have to respect it. When your child is old or their children are they can make the choice themselves.


Unfortunately I’m pretty sure you can’t do anything. Let your kids know that they have another sibling. Does their father see them? Either way I would ask if your children can at least maybe have a picture of their sibling or siblings so they know what they look like.
Otherwise I would leave it alone.

Edit: by asking for a picture even if they deny the request, you will know that you have done everything in your power to allow them to know their siblings in some way before they all turn 18.
If their dad doesn’t see them (yours) then I would explain the best I could why they don’t see them. Do this while being honest and age appropriate for them. If their dad does see them, tell them if they want to know they can ask dad next time they see him. If he refuses to explain that’s his choice.


I had a similar issue with my oldest daughter. But after some time went by, me and her brothers mom formed a healthy relationship and my daughter and her son were able to play and know each other. Maybe just give it some time especially if there’s been any kind of drama lately. Emotions can be crazy and dictate decisions we wouldn’t normally make.


I understand the want mama but it causes soooo much stress for you and the kids… I honestly wouldn’t, but that’s me. I’d never hide they had siblings. I would let them know when they and their siblings turned 18 they can definitely meet eachother for sure. But forcing a relationship with anybody isn’t a good idea, alongside the stress and confusion it’ll cause the kids.


You’re going to complicate things by forcing the issue for everyone and your own children. Why should they know them? Blood isn’t a good enough reason. It sounds like more drama for your own kids. They are their children, not yours, and you do not own your ex or have the right to be over involved in his current life or his wife’s. That should be a mutual decision, not a forced one.


I wouldn’t even tell them until they’re much older, unless at some point it becomes a necessity. (ex: Maybe they meet elsewhere somehow later in life). That’s up to their father.
It’s not likely that it’s going to be “easy” on them. Regardless of how the situation goes. However if they don’t know, they can’t miss the sibling they’ve never met.


You can let them know that there is a sibling. But you have no rights whether your kids can see them. But it may be a blessing since the other parents are addicts. I wouldn’t want my children around them.


Don’t think there’s anything you can do there. Siblings don’t really have rights to each other in that situation.


I am actually friends with 2 of my baby daddy’s exes that also have kids by him. We decided that our kids had the right to know their siblings regardless of dad, or even us but we’re great friends. We realize this isn’t about any of us, but the kids and we’re all mature enough to keep things cool and make sure they’re just as close with all their halfsies as they are, in their own homes.

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As much as I want to wish you all of the cooperation, unfortunately this isn’t your choice. If neither parent wants the children to be fully involved you do need to respect the wishes of their choices. Maybe eventually that choice will change or the child will become older as will yours and they will make that decision for themselves. Until then, I think you need to respect their wishes

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Nope it’s between the parents of the other child on who they allow around their kid and that includes your kids. Do you want people to force relationships against your wishes bc of genetic ties?!?

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They have had social services involved and you WANT your kids in that mix? If anything EVER happened while they were with them YOU would be in trouble for failure to protect or negligence in the least due to knowledge of their issues and the pursuit of them to be with them. Leave that situation alone. Plus you cannot expect the mom to leave her kid with a random stranger (which is what you are to them) even if she has a substance issue. Only time the kids would meet would be on DAD’S time and dad already said NO.

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Nothing good will ever come of forcing a relationship that all parties do not enthusiastically want. Your kids will end up hurt if you push this.


It sounds like your household and theirs may be alot different if there is drug addiction at that house and none at yours…you should feel lucky and happy that you can prevent your kids from being subjected to that lifestyle and everything that goes along with it. It can and most likely will have a negative impact on your kids. If I were in your shoes, I’d never bring it up again and keep my kids away from it for as long as possible.


Kids definitely have a right to know there siblings but unfortunately I don’t think there is anything you can do legally to get visitation. The parents are the ones that get to choose. 

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I’d say you’re overstepping your boundaries. I understand you want your children to know their siblings, but you have no control over their lives. It sucks, but it’s the truth.

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I tried this at family court my son had an older sister. The lawyers communicated with the other mother, she declined and my son’s sister didn’t know my son, her half brother existed until they were both teens when their dad died. They text couple times still have never met. At this point my son said he doesn’t care but growing up it would have been nice for the kids to get to know each other :woman_shrugging:t3: . I’m betting most courts it would be same situation with the half siblings both parents having to agree to it. I believe only biological grandparents can petition for visitation for the most part

There’s nothing you can do unless both of those child’s parents agree. The kids can make that decision when they are 18 but you have no legal
Rights. It’s unfortunate. Also sounds like it isn’t a good situation to have your kids wrapped up in at this time.

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You have zero right to a child that isn’t yours and your children have zero right to their half sibling either.
That is for the child’s parents to decide. If they said no? Let it go. Idk why you’re pushing it.
It’s weird.

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Since the parents said no, I would leave it alone. Once your children are older, they can reach out to them if they want.


Nope. Leave that alone. Is nothing you can do, specially bc his children are minors and he still have parental rights over them. Your job is to take care of your child only, that’s your only responsibility, not what’s going on in their house.
My daughter have 5 little brothers that she doesn’t know. She is 26 years old and she is no longer interested because her dad is not in the picture. Let life takes it course and see what happens in the future.

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I’m in Canada also and no the courts will not make it so that the siblings will have to meet each other. Yes would it be nice for them to meet of course but that’s not up to you what someone else does with their child. If the kids want to know each other then when they are old enough to decide then they will meet but just because you want something doesn’t mean the courts would make the siblings parents to do what you want. Why not just worry about raising your kids and let the siblings parents raise there kids the way they want. There must be a reason why they haven’t wanted the kids to meet because I’m assuming you have asked them and that’s why you’re asking if the courts will make them.


I think your heart is in the right place but I don’t think you have any control over it. If the other mom was receptive, you could go around dad. But she’s a mom who is making what she believes are the best choices for her kid(s) just like you are.
If there’s substance abuse issues, you are probably dodging a bullet here. But depending on your kids’ ages and maturity levels, you can talk to them (at their level) and when they’re all old enough, they can make the decision to seek out their siblings (or not)

My half brother died I’m so resentful my mother didn’t make it so we knew each other I missed out on so much time with him.

Why put yourself through that when your children get older just tell them and they can make up their own mind what they want to do

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Not your kids. If both parents say no, just leave it alone. If the kids want to connect when they’re older, they’ll do it.

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Overstepping. You have no right to demand to have someone else’s kid in your kids life. Regardless of relationship.


Just be honest with your child that way when they are old enough to make their decisions they can. I have a sister who didnt know about me until she was nearly 40 but we finally got to meet online and have been there for eachother ever since and my kids have siblings they know about and have met but the siblings dont know about them.

No you are not being ridiculous yes your kids should have the right to see their sibling. However the parents also have rights as to who is in their child’s life. If you really are concerned I’d maybe talk to a lawyer or even just look into it to see if your children have a legal right to be able to see their sibling.

They have a right however do not force it it will happen in time is right I know first hand I have gone threw something very similar and it will be a the right time let them know talk to them make sure they understand because it can be a lot more Emotional trauma for them if not

They do have a right to know each other but you can’t force it if the other parents won’t let it happen. One day the kids will resent them for not allowing a relationship with each other.

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Its out of your control, I’m sorry. Everything will happen as it happens just help keep your kids head up :wink:


Usually I’d say hell yes do what you can to make sure siblings know one another and have a relationship but youd be welcoming a world full of drama into your life. Not to mention with the child having 2 parents who suffer with substance abuse the child might not be someone youd even want around your children. Hard telling the things theyve seen they could have major behavioral issues and act out or even act out sexually.

Yeah really nothing you can do my son has two siblings that he doesn’t know and probably won’t be allowed to know until they are all teenagers/adults and then it will be up to them if they decide to form a actual sibling relationship or not :woman_shrugging:t2:…it’s sad sometimes to know he’s missing out on knowing his own siblings but since they are not my children I have no say and the mother of them doesn’t want them around each other so. All I can do is let him know about them when he’s old enough to understand and then it will be his decision on what he wants to do with the information. Obviously it doesn’t affect him because he doesn’t know them but I do think he has a right to know about them when he’s old enough to understand and then when he’s older he can reach out if he chooses to do so. This is really all you can do unfortunately.

No rights sorry, I think you are over thinking it. Your kids only share the same father, half siblings.
The kids can decide when they are older, chances are his child with another woman doesn’t know about your children.
Wait as all things have a way of working themselves out :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heart_hands:

I don’t think it’s really worth it to force your child being around them if they have substance abuse issues.

For me I would have no issue but considering you said substance abuse with alcohol then I would assume that there is more goig on behind closed doors that they don’t want you catching on about

Keeping those children together is his responsibility, not yours. Unfortunately if they’re nothing telling you no, and the father isnt taking your children over nights and such, I don’t believe there’s anything you can do.

Man sounds like my situation my boys are 14 and 18 and they have five younger sisters that they have never met or been around. We are just going to wait until they are all 18 and hopefully they do like one of those my heritage deals because that’s what my boys want to do. I think things will be better in the long run if they wait until they are all older. They just recently got to talk to their older sister who lives in a different state they have never met or seen her either but now they have a relationship. 

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As a child that grew up not knowing I had older siblings because of my mom, I wish at least my mom would have told me. I had to find out when my dad died I had older siblings because they were my dads and not my moms. I was 11 when my dad died. All you can really do is let them know they have half siblings. Maybe when they’re older they can connect but you have no choice when the other parents aren’t wanting it. Buy nothing you can do.

You’re not being ridiculous; they are. Family law differs by state and province. Ask a family attorney.


Legally you have no right to interfere in their family…BUT…if you can find ways for your kids to send letters, birthday cards, whatnot… :woman_shrugging:t2:
Maybe the child’s caseworker would help you with that if you promise not to let it slip how you got through?

I’d honestly wait until they are adults. You and the kids don’t need the drama and toxicity. A private detective can always locate the other child.

Unfortunately, there isn’t anything you can do. You don’t have a right to decide who meets their child.

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Children absolutely have what is referred to as sibling rights. You can petition family court for sibling visitation on their behalf. You can also probably expect a ton of grief from them if you do.

My daughter has a half sister. There is no relationship. If somehow as adults they found each other it would be ok. Don’t force it

My son has a sister he has never met. Other baby momma & I are cool, but my son doesn’t know about his real dad. He’s never been involved & my ex was always dad to him. He still is dad to him. When/if I tell my son, (deciding when a good time to tell is hard) than I’ll reach back out to the other mom so we can have them meet. I think it just depends on the relationship you have & it sounds like it’s not gunna happen in your situation.

If both bio parents are saying no. I wouldn’t push it. I also know here in Montana there is nothing you can do.

I don’t think you can . If siblings want they can communicate and have a relationship at 18 if they want . Basically what i had to do .

It isn’t your choice. The children are aware of each other. Let them reach out directly when they are older.

Most likely a can of worms that you should not open! It is not important currently so why add the drama? Let the kids decide when they are adults

Sorry bout the kids but you need to stay out if it. You seem controlling right now trying to force something that is not your decision. Maybe if you leave it alone they won’t be so head set in not letting you get your way

I have half siblings that I don’t know. All I know is I have another sister and 2 brothers. I’ve never contacted them and when i did reach out to possibly getting to know them, they refused. So we know we all exist but we don’t know each other. All I know is that I’m 35 and they’re 21, 20 and 18

Just let your kids know they do have a sibling. And maybe someday when their older they will meet.

No leave the other child alone

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It almost sounds like you want to cause unnecessary drama.

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Why would you want your kids to have a forced relationship with them considering the circumstances? :thinking:

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No …that’s something that you don’t mess with. When they get older and if they want something to do with each other then they can work that out.

Let it go… It is definitely not your decision

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It sucks but I don’t think this is something you can force or that a judge would enforce

I agree with you. Not sure what you can do though

Let them get older and make their own choice


In the states there is nothing you can do.

I dont think you are overstepping just by asking or requesting that the kids have a relationship, but by trying to force it yes you are. You are totally right these kids deserve to know each other and it sucks when co-parenting doesn’t work out. But until they change their mind, or the kids grow up there’s nothing to be done.


My ex is the same, remarried and want’s nothing to do with our daughter together, we were married, and planned our daughter together so their is no excuse for this, my daughter wants to be a part of their lives so bad too, she’s given up on his love, but cries when she thinks about the siblings she can’t know, obviously I have her in counciling, and do everything I can for her, but that hurt won’t stop, it’s my hope they can get to know each other as adults at least.

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You’re not wrong for wanting the sibling connection, but unfortunately by law, there’s nothing you can do to force it. Perhaps have your kids write letters and send pictures to their sibling and maybe that gesture will help open some doors?:woman_shrugging: It’s simple and nothing too invasive. It may not work, but at least you tried.

You’re not being ridiculous, but unfortunately you are overstepping your boundaries. As much as you want the kids to have a relationship with their sibling(s) and as much as they want to have a relationship with their sibling(s), you’re not the biological parent of the siblings and don’t really have any say in who they see or don’t see. As your children get older, they will realize and understand that it wasn’t you keeping them away, but it was their father who took that from them. Also, as they get older, they can choose to reach out to their sibling(s) on their own to build a relationship. They only thing that you can do, is keep pushing the ex for a relationship between the children. Unfortunately, you’ll most likely be unsuccessful.

You have no say over someone else’s child and can not force a relationship if they want nothing to do with you or your child

There’s nothing you can do and tbh they are better off not being around people that have substance abuse issues. They can meet once the child turns 18

Unfortunately no it’s not your child. My kids do not know their half siblings because the kids mom keeps them from both my husband and my kids

The only way you could probably have that situation is if you take custody of the kids if the parents had them taken away from dcs

This feels like a lot of I want control. Let go. There is nothing you can do about it. The parents said no, so why are you trying to go above the parents? Would you want someone to try to go above you with your kids? When the kids are older, then they can reach out to each other.

Do your children see their father? If they do, how are the kids kept apart? If they don’t, I assume there’s a good read n and would you want them to go there now?

Long as they know they have siblings is enough. Not your decision.who knows they meet one day

I wasn’t aware I had other siblings until I was 30…never met them, know nothing about them except they existed. They would be over 80 yo now if they’re still alive.
Honestly…I dont feel I missed out by not knowing them . I did feel a bit hurt my parents hadn’t told me but really their past was none of my business .
Nothing you can do if the parents are not in agreement .

Yea idk why they’re doing it but turn the tables. If you said you didn’t want your children to know someone and they continued to push the issue and then took you to court to try to force you to include someone you don’t want in your child’s life, how would you feel? My guess is pretty angry that someone is trying to control your child’s life. Leave it alone.

You need to chill about it. You could be potentially put them in danger forcing them into unwanted spaces. They will grow up and know about each other so they may search and ask questions.

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In the states I know there’s nothing legally you can do, maybe ask a grandparent about all the kids getting together at their house

Its their child and their decision
Don’t push the issue
When the kids are older
They may want to know each other
It’s not your place though

I think you need to butt out. He has a new life and doesn’t have to share his personal or private information with you or the kids if he doesn’t want to. You are definitely overstepping your boundaries. Just keep a diary of any and all information such as Dad’s full name, SS#, birth date/place and any close relative names that you may have so one day when your children come of age they can look the siblings up for themselves if they choose to. You are his ex and obviously he doesn’t want to share his new life with you so his life or who is in it or his other kids is none of your business. I think maybe you’re being just a bit curious and nosey. Mind your own :woman_shrugging:t3:

I don’t think there is anything. I have half siblings I’ve never met, 2 sisters actually. They may know we exist or may not, who knows. Does it suck? Yes. I never got a choice to know my 2 sisters, I was the only girl in my family with 2 older brothers. Unfortunately there was nothing then to legally get visits and I don’t think there is now. I’ve tried finding them as an adult but it’s not that easy, esp since they’ve never had social media. I don’t think you’re over reacting, you’re just trying to be a voice for your child, I don’t think anything can be done however. Maybe just offer to be there if they ever come around to the idea of the kids getting to know each other.

No Means No… Yes you may want them to meet their siblings…but… Its not your choice its theirs…Sorry

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Make sure your children know about their sibling…Try and keep track of the child’s location and when they are grown both your kids and their sibling may search for each other. For now their is nothing you can do except have some information to give your kids for when they are grown.