Do we have to be married for him to adopt?

My boyfriend want to adopt our daughter (not his biological daughter) she has 9nly ever known him as her father as her bio dad has never been apart of her life the entire time of her life. Me and my boyfriend have been together 12 years minus the 9 months (within that time frame I became pregnant). We have 2 other children together as well, we are not married yet but plan to. My daughter wants to take his last name too when we fo get married as well. I guess my question is do we need to be married to do the adoption? Her bio dad is more than willing to give consent

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do we have to be married for him to adopt?

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It looks better in the courts eyes if you are married but it is not a deal breaker especially with him having an established relationship with your daughter along with the biological father willing to sign the papers… My parents went through this in 79 when my dad adopted me

Look up the laws in your state. PA you do have to be married

My sis adopted her fiance’s son. The mom signed off rights to her. You do not need to be married

My son adopted his step son. They had to go thru the home checks and interviews.

In Wisconsin you have to be married for a year in order for adoption

In Wisconsin you do have to be married but check your states laws on it

It depends on your state laws

Just get married first. Gives everyone more protection and is more legitimate.


It depends on where your living. You could look into changing her surname to his as that would be easier than adoption in some cases.

Anyone can adopt but the process is usually far different and much more difficult than step parent adoption.

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Probably yes. Ask a lawyer.

Depends what state. New Jersey my husband and I had to be married before he adopted our daughter. My husband legally adopted our daughter, her biological dad has no rights to her. Our daughter now has the same last name as well.

Depends on the state in Michigan you have to b married atleast a year

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If no father on birth certificate he can be added have him refuse dna he would be automatically the father then pay 30 dollars have her last name his…no adoption process…how we did our daughters


Check with the courts or an attorney for where you live. If an attorney is more than you can afford, check with your local legal aid office in a larger city near you. They can help.

That depends if the bio father is legally your daughters father. Did he sign AOP, is he on the BC or ordered to pay child support? If yes to any of those you’ll need his permission. Second it depends on your state. I think most require that you’re married for awhile before he can adopt your daughter. If he’s been always around & her bio father isn’t her legal father he may be able to sign AOP now. Call a lawyer.

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Deliberately giving false details on a birth certificate is a criminal offence under the Perjury Act 1911 and is punishable by imprisonment. …

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Oregon you have to be married. Working on my husband to adopt my two kids but there dad won’t give up his tiny little bit of rights that he has. But yet hasn’t talked to his kids in 2 years. :woman_facepalming:

In Michigan you have to be married for 1 year or more. My friends went through this…. So it all depends on the state laws.

Depends which state I believe im in PA and me and my hudband had to be married for him to adopt my daughter and her bio dad had to sign consent then we had to have a court hearing so that it was documented and all of that but it probabaly all depends on ur state

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That’s a question for a lawyer, not fb.


In Ohio you have to be married for at least a year. All you can do is contact a local adoption lawyer and ask them to know for sure.

Talk to an attorney who knows the law in your state bc these people on fb are not attorneys. Especially folks saying to add him to birth certificate. That is paternity fraud since a birth certificate is a legal document.

In Indiana at least you have to be married or you have to sign ALL parental rights over to him. It’s not a “step-child” adoption if you aren’t married and he’s not bio

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Best thing to do is talk to a lawyer.
My husband adopted my daughter, in OK we had to be married. It was a big process we tried starting on our own but learned quickly it was better to just have a lawyer jump through all the hoops.

In Kansas you have to be married at least a year and a half.

I would NEVER RECOMMEND ADOPTION unless you have been married for YEARS! No matter how long you have been together or how many kids you have.


Research it, it varies by state

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her bio father has to sign his rights away,

Adoption is a filing in court I don’t see why you’d need to be married but contacting a lawyer would be a good start

My daughter got married and adoption papers were signed the same time as my granddaughters bio dad was a dead beat.

Consult a lawyer in your state

Honestly need to just consult a family attorney in your area. It is completely different in different places. Most family attorneys will give you a free consultation and outline what will need to happen.

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Get marry then Adopt her

In FL and NC for “step parent adoption” or essentially for bio dad’s rights to be terminated… step dad has to be legally married to mom to adopt.


It varies from state to state. You really need to speak to a family law lawyer in your area to get the correct information.

If he splits…there goes your daughter…

In Oklahoma yes for a year prior.

I live in Pa. My daughters sperm donor voluntarily signed his rights away & my fiancé was able to adopt. We’re not married but he’s been in her life since she was 5. The court granted the adoption.

It depends on where you are. Most, not all, states require being married for a specific amount of time.

Her biodad is a POS. He needs to get a vasectomy, use condoms or abstain if he doesn’t want kids. Not relinquish parental rights after the child is here

In Washington state you have to be married for two years before the step parent can adopt.

Some states you must be married for him to adopt. You need to go see a lawyer they will make the process easy and know what to do.

Depends on the state you live in

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do we have to be married for him to adopt?

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Honestly it depends on the state this mama is in…I’m in the same boat and would definitely suggest a consult with a family lawyer

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It might vary from state to state, however in Mississippi the courts will not allow him to adopt until y’all are legally married. Hope this helps


Depending on the state you reside in there are some that allow it without marriage as long as there is an established relationship with the child that can be shown in court along with the financial part of it …in all honesty it’s really about money

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If you’re planni g to get married anyway… speed it up and do the adoption then too.

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Your best bet is to talk to an adoption lawyer and find out your state laws on it. In Ohio you have to be married for a minimum of 6 months.

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In az you have to be legally married for a year before starting adoption process. Im in the same boat. Husband and I have been together 7 years married 6months and my 9 year old son wants him to adopt him

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If you don’t have the dad on the birth certificate and the child has your last name just add him to the birth certificate


Most states require you be married. Your best bet is just to speak with a family lawyer that specializes in adoption to find out all the steps you need to take in order to have the adoption done and then there will be no question.

In Texas we had to terminate biological dads rights even though he wasn’t on the birth certificate or ever in her life

Then once that was done we had to be married and I had to petition to adopt

It took about 2 years with all the extra crap but I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world

Depends on the state.
You’d be better off asking a lawyer.

In ohio you gotta be married a yr, background checks, references & in home inspection…

Not in Texas you don’t have to be married if the bio father is giving consent.

Check your state laws stuff like this varies from state to state.

I would get married to cya. You don’t want an ex-boyfriend to co-parent with if this doesn’t work out. an ex-husband would probably have more financial responsibility in court. Consult a family law attorney.


In Alabama, dad has to sign rights over and you have to be married in order to adopt

Depends on where you live.

I wouldn’t want a boyfriend adopting my kid. Get married first so he’s legally obligated to stick around lol Honestly, boyfriends come and go, no matter how much you love them or how long you’ve been together. :woman_shrugging:t2:


In indiana. The adopter has to go through background checks and parenting classes. Its a huge deal.
I believe marriage is a must.

And being married to having a boyfriend is vastly different on so many levels.


I don’t think it matters, file to adopt, you give consent, and bio Dad… done.

To force out the bio dad to terminate his rights and make it easier yes

I mean you should get married first…


Depends on the state. In MS, no, you don’t have to be married.

If bio dad isn’t on the birth certificate, you can add the other guy as the father on the certificate at the health department. He just has to sign the paperwork too.

Depends on where you are. You can call your local courthouse to find out. I know in Florida you do have to be married

I would NEVER let a boyfriend adopt my kid :woman_shrugging:t3:


You have to be married for atleast a year, and bio has to have been absent for more than 2 years or give consent.

In mass u don’t have to be married u Pation it in the paper gift the other family a chance to object just like a legal last name change. I’m in ur same situation. Been together since our oldest was 6 months old had a rough one before so I got a permanent order on the bio dad and she has no idea she just has my last name while her siblings have their dads… but she’s never known a nother man and has no idea of any other… inoder for him to adopt her we have to file at court and give the other family a chance to object all I’d have to do is prove how this life is safer for her…
If that makes sense. I hope it helps some how. Touch subject for me. Best of luck :slight_smile:

Nope she can take his last name & he can adopt her before

If you do, he will have the same rights to the child as you. Research before making such an important decision.

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That depends on the state. Speak with a family lawyer or find a updated book, not google, on family law in your state. That should cover information on adoption or even what they consider abandonment.

Look into your state laws every state is different but most of the time yes you do. A way around that could be if bio dad was never put on the birth certificate then put your boyfriends name on and go in and have him sign the ROP and boom she’s his. Also you might be able to change her last name at the same time but I’m not 100% on that. My friend did this exact thing with her daughter to avoid all the court shit and costs

Yes in MN you do. They do not accept common law marriage. Been with my fiancé almost 17 years and we have to be married for him to adopt my 11 year old who has been there since he was born. We have 4 together. It’s a stupid rule.

I think at a age the child can ask the courts. Said child must be 12??

Why wouldn’t you wait til your married why would you do it beforehand thats just dumb because if you legally give his name to your daughter remember if anything happens between you 2 he has legal rights to her, personally I wouldn’t do it No ways even if I was married to him


Call a family lawyer before doing this. It’s critical for both of you to understand this fully. If he adopts, he’ll be expected to contribute to her college tuition. His income will be considered on all financial aid forms. Ask how this could affect things if you two split up.

Laws might differ by state. I know it can be done in California, but you both need to know all legal ramifications of this, including Social Security benefits (should a parent die while she’s a minor) and custody rights if you two split up. I’m sure there’s more to consider.


I dont know the law but i think you can especially because you’ve been together so long- some states at like 10 years you are common law married.

Its weird that some buttholes on this page always laugh at people and their questions or problems that is very real for them. I really don’t understand that or why they even need to be here. Lonely trolls?


You asked and my opinion is why not wait till you get married. Like me my dad adopted me and my 2 brothers and before our adoption was legal we carried step-dads name.

Yes. I’m going through this now
My daughter and I have already changed our last names to his, but we have to be married for a year for him to adopt. And bio dad already signed his rights to my fiancé
Good luck!

Also, to the girls putting her down for wanting her daughters dad to adopt her daughter, I’m sorry that you’ve never been able to create an honest and trusting relationship with a significant other. My daughters dad is her only dad. Why shouldn’t they both have the happiness of it being legal?


How would there be law / with no law , it’s like all the people who claim to have “in-laws “ when there is no law

Just change her last name .

I get people saying wait until married and understanding the financial side if you split, but they have 2 together already. They know the financial side of things ! Also what if they didn’t want to get married? Not everyone does, not everyone has too. There’s still huge financial issues if you split if you have a home, bills and children together, in fact it’s a little cheaper as you don’t have the added divorce to pay for! Check with a local family lawyer/attorney, depending where you are, maybe even an adoption agency for advice?
If your dd really wants her dads surname but you do need to be married, which is crazy imo, then change her name by deed poll now then she can use it

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Depends on your state

No you don’t have to be married, just need sperm donors consent

You can do a name change without an adoption. I would not before marriage to much red tape if you split.

In England he can adopt her without being married. I think if i remember correcy socail services is who you contact to help with this

Don’t listen to the naysayers. Of course he can. States have different laws but they’ve all changed a lot so same sex couples who couldn’t get married could still adopt.

For me, I adopted my children WITH my bf of 3 years. He is adoptive dad I’m adoptive mom. We had to pay for an adoption agency to do a hone inspection and relationship questions. I believe it would be easier for you as you’re mom

She can always carry his name without the adoption process if it comes down too it. My mum wanted to change my name when I was younger to match my siblings as I have a different dad, I didn’t want too, but it was definitely a real possibility

I wouldn’t let him adopt your child unless you are married!

Wait till you’re married wait even a year after that. He technically can.
But I wouldn’t rush it either
Also idk why people think the post is funny weird lkl