Do you buy your kids a gift if you throw them a birthday party?

When you throw your kids a birthday party do you still buy them a gift? My thought is the party is the gift, but is that normal? The party is coming out to around 2k and everything is stuff he will love, so I can’t imagine still getting a gift, BUT I was talking to a friend and she said that she always gets a gift. He is turning 4 if that matters.I have been telling him how much thought and work goes into a party and trying to teach him to be grateful for effort and not just gifts, but I feel like he may be missing out on the gift part.


And i thought the $500 we’re spending for my daughters 6th birthday party was way too much…but 2k?
Also, yes, get a gift.


2k for a 4 year old??
He isn’t going to remember the party

I have always had parties for my kids
But they always get a gift too


What kind of party are you doing for a 4 year old that is 2k??? That’s more like a graduation party price if ya ask me!!!

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I used to do several gifts. It’s their birthday. It happens once a year and the one day that should be all about them.


A 4 year old needs toys for development, he’s supposed to play with toys. A party is great but you’re wasting 2000 on a couple of hours he probably won’t remember over toys that will help his development


Definitely Get the :sparkles: gifts​:sparkles: budget more for your party! :roll_eyes:

I’m a mom who goes all out for their parties, but I also shop months in advance. I also Do not spend anywhere near the thousands. Dominoes has 5.99 med pizzas. Chicken salad is good to make. Goodwill, different dollar trees, etc’


2k?!?! Holy smokes!!! Id never spend that on a birthday party for a 4 yr old. Thats insane. My son is turning 3 this year. I might spend 100 on decorations and a couple hundred to rent a bounce house but i always get him a few gifts. The fun of a birthday party is getting to open all your gifts.


I’m just curious if there’s going to be a petting zoo or something at this party???

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Yes, get the gift. 2k on a party? I do it the old fashioned way with cake of their choice, food of their choice, ice cream, sugary drinks, invite family, friends and neighborhood kids in my backyard. I also teach my kids not to expect a gift from everyone and just be happy that they came.


What’s wrong with a small party at home that doesn’t cost a small fortune and a small gift?


Yes, I’ve always bought gifts. But then again, I’d never spend $2K (to each their own). When he got a little older we eventually replaced parties with trips/experiences together. My son ended up preferring that. In that scenario, no gift.


Why is his party so expensive?
He should get a gift it’s his birthday. I’m sure he would probably prefer a gift over the party


I always buy my kids gifts for their party along with the fact I’m an adult and my mom still buys me a gift to this day and I’m not her only child


$2,000 for a four year old’s party, what will they have for 16th?


2,000 for a party ? Crazy. I did 2 nice parties my oldest did a nerf gun party was 250 my daughter I did a gymnastic party was 190. The cake , drinks and chips weren’t much extra either

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Yes a gift. Also seconding what everyone else said - $2000 for a birthday party he won’t remember?!?!?!?!


2K for a child’s party! Really! :scream:. I mean if your spending that much on his party I’d only imagine he probably doesn’t need or want a gift aswell.
My son is having his 8th birthday party next month… I’ve not even spent 200 onit. :roll_eyes::rofl:. My children also receive gifts on their birthdays regardless.


2k for a 4 year old birthday party? Wtf planet are we on? Is the party actually for a child, or is it too show off to other people? A kids going to want a gift over an extravagant birthday party hands down. If you are spending 2k on a party why would you bat at eye at spending $25 more for a gift

2k for a 4 year old birthday party!? Have you lost your mind? What will they expect at 13 or 16?

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$2K for a 4 year old?
Is the party for him or you?
Because I can’t imagine a 4 year old needing more than some friends, cake and presents and some games.

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Wtf kind of party are you throwing that is 2k. At that point , why not throw in a gift. How you gonna teach him to be grateful with a 2000$ party’?

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The party is the celebration not the gift in my opinion.

Also YOU chose to have the party, YOU chose to spend so much time, effort and money on it. Kids would literally be happy with cake and balloons. 4 year olds generally don’t have the capacity to be taught lessons like this, all they’ll remember is they didn’t have a gift to open :woman_shrugging:t2:


The party is the gift? Yeah… I’m sure he will love playing with that party the rest of the year :face_with_peeking_eye:


I still get my kiddo gifts even after how much I spend on the party… my kid is turning 4yrs in April and I’m getting him gifts on top of what I’ve spent just for the party


2K on a 4 year old? That’s crazy

Everytime I throw my kids a bday party I always buy a gift… it doesn’t have to be plenty of gifts. One gift that they love/will use is reasonable to get. But that’s just me. :blush:


My birthday is 9/28 if you wanna spend that on me :rofl:

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Wow…yes get him a gift…spending $2000 on a child’s birthday party that’s crazy…he is 4 and won’t remember the party…Wow

2k is ridiculous and excessive for a 4 year old! He probably won’t even remember after a year or two. Yes you buy him a present something age appropriate and reasonable in price!

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He could care less about the party. Play pin the tail on the donkey and serve pizza and cake and give him a gift. The gift will last longer. And he’s not gonna remember that party.

Just remember most kids want bigger and better as they get older. Being this young still I would be paying more for a present then a party. Making a fun day with memories shouldn’t cost much. As long as he has a great day and goes to bed happy


$2,000 for a 4 year Olds bday??? Good god!!!:astonished:


The party is for you, the gift is for him.


I, too, dont get a gift at the party. If they get a gift its the morning of their true birthday but there will be enough gifts at the party already. But sometimes I dont get a gift the experience is the gift. More importantly, I think to each their own…you do what you feel is right with your child, dont worry about how everyone does things.

For one, I’m not spending 2k on a kids party. That’s way OTT.
My kids parties usually fall on a different day to their birthday. So they get gifts from us on their birthday, gifts from guests/family at their party.

What in did you do to spend 2k for a 4 year old party?

2k for a bday party? Yikes

We spend a lot of money aswell for our sons birthday every year. But what we normally do is hire game area that he and other kids loves to play and put on big feast of food for the kids and parents that attend. So every body gets to enjoy and parents gets feed aswell :slightly_smiling_face: And just buy him little something for his birthday and whatever gift he recieves from his friends thats mostly what the gift he gets for his birthday. But this year he is turning 7 :slightly_smiling_face: and where I come from 7th birthday is big deal so we bought him big pressent and he will have big birthday party aswell ( which will cost lots) and the next big one will be when he turns 18!!! :grin::grin::grin: hopefully!!!

At the end of the day if you can afford both!!! Why not!!! We always wants the best for our kids!

That’s huge money on a 4 year olds birthday I thought it was going to be an 18 or 21st.
I would make the party a bit less and smaller and get him gifts 4year olds don’t understand money. I had a hard enough time trying to explain to my 4 year old that turned 5 when we were on holiday overseas why people couldn’t come over there for a birthday party and she had to wait to get a lot of her presents till we got home. She would have been heart broken if I said she wasn’t getting presents at all

Wow :astonished: 2k on 4 year old party. my son just turned 16, I took him on a mini vacay and his gift didn’t even cost that much. But get the gift he won’t care about the party he just wants the cake and friends there.


You’re spending $2,000 on a party for a 4-year-old?

That’s beyond a gift. Don’t worry about him “missing out.” You decide the norms, not your child. You’ve spent far more than enough already. He probably won’t even notice not getting a gift from you.

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To me it’s weird not to get your kid a birthday gift. Honestly spending 2000 for a birthday party is more for the parent or guest, no one needs a 2,000 birthday. I mean if you have it then whatever but you not buying a gift because of the cost shows you may not.

I always get my kids presents based on the age they are turning, so 3 it’s 3 presents and so on, my oldest turns 20 this year lol and they get a special dinner or a small bday party.

No but I buy my kids toys through out the year and we spend about $350 for their party and their friends to enjoy bowling, indoor playgrounds, trampoline parks etc. we also do a special dinner date with just them where they get to eat dessert for dinner and that has kept them happy. I’m sure over time as they get older it will change and will want robucks and Nikes. So we will adjust accordingly.It is what works for us!


Ok…. First thing first. Good for you that you are able to spend $2k on a birthday party for a 4 year old. I could never imagine spending that much unless is a sweet 16 or something. Second, yes, get a gift. Even if it’s like $10.

Sheesh. We spend about $500 total. Decorations, cake, food, usually a birthday outfit, and gift. Sometimes extra if we rent a space. But 2k? That’s almost more than what we bring home after taxes a month!


I always get my kiddos gifts for their party. Personally I usually get them 2 or 3 smaller things/outfits for their party and their actual bday I give them their bigger stuff and we do a small cake with just us but to each their own.

I always have their parties, most likely on a different day then their actual birthday. On their actual birthday we have a small celebration at home & that’s when they typically get their gift from us.


I get my kids a birthday outfit with the party. My kids usually get a ton of toys or what not from everyone else. I’ve raised my kids that gifts aren’t everything… js

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There is no way a child that little would be able to comprehend the difference between the cost of a party and why mom and dad didnt get him a gift for his birthday. If its cutting close in the budget at least get him one thing that sparks his interest. But to put it into different terms, that’s like saying you’re having the whole family over for christmas day, but they dont need christmas gifts from you because you hosted. Just my opinion🤷‍♀️

I usually buy gifts but give them to her outside of her party. I also have a 4 year old and she doesn’t really appreciate gifts yet so we try to space them out so she’s excited for each time she opens them as opposed to just opening a bunch at once and being overwhelmed

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I cannot imagine not getting my child a gift on their birthday.spending $2k on a party for a 4 year old is for you not him.

Why throw a 2k bday party for a 4yo?! He’s not going to remember or care about that! And yes you get them a gift! Gifts are more important than the party!

Who in their right effing mind spends 2k on a 4 year old birthday. Holy shit and your questioning a gift :woman_facepalming: more money than brains

I think most of us don’t spend that amount on a party. So we do gifts. But, We also don’t know if you’re talking about bounce houses, cotton candy machines, etc. If your talking just $2K on decorations and food then in my opinion your kid will be disappointed. However your parents go with what you feel not anyone else. The only person you need to please is that child.

My daughter just turned 3 i do cake ice cream family friends and she could care less all she wanted was her gifts and cake

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We still do gifts. Something small if it’s a big party or experience. We don’t normally do “parties” in the sense that a whole bunch of family/friends come and they get tons of presents, so that’s why we still gift them something small. Like our oldest had a “paintball party” and he took 6 friends to a course that was 90mins away, it was a whole day process. Covering the expenses for his buddies thru out the day did add up. Our youngest likes experiences so we went on vacation and he picked the location. We didn’t leave until the week after his birthday so on the day of he had something small, along with cake and a nice dinner.

My daughters party is this weekend. She won’t get gifts from us then, but she will get her gifts on her actual birthday.


I’ve thrown my kids bigger parties but the big expensive ones aren’t really done for the kids. They are geared towards the adults and the kids could care less. Get him a gift.

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Get the kid a gift. If money is tight, scale back the party to afford a gift for your kid. Parents tend to know exactly what their kids would really want, appreciate and use for a longer time period. If you’re wanting to use this as a learning opportunity, that should have been discussed with your kid before planning a large party…

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Yes we do our gift at home as a family. It’s not his fault you picked to spend X amount on a party. But he’s also 4 and won’t know if you don’t so do whatever

2k for a kids birthday party. I must be a cheapskate, I didn’t spend that much for a graduation party, and there was shrimp, steak, and chicken plus all kinds of sides and drinks, wow!! You still owe them a present

We dont do gifts for birthdays. We do big bday parties or experiences

I say I have done both depending on my finances but I promise when they get older then will looking forward to that gift :gift: from you and will know and carry on it

Depends !!!
If I throw a big party , that is usually the gift , for example for her 5 I spent around 2,500 she picked the theme Hellow Kitty , I hired a little :clown_face: show also included the character . If I do something little , like just a cake , she got presents , I take her to eat and to do whatever she wants.

I raised my niece with my mom and she was very smart , she always asked for presents instead of parties since she was little :rofl::rofl:

  1. The child is 4
  2. Your spending way, way to much
  3. Yes, you do get a gift
  4. Trying to explain how to be grateful and whatnot to a 4 year old is a bit of a waste of time.
  5. You get a few kids, play a few games, eat junk food, do cake and presents, I had 4 kids never spent more than a couple hundred max, kids are more grateful with friends and activities.
    Just my opinion.

Who spends 2k on a birthday party lol that’s how much my wedding was lol :laughing:. I spend about 200 on the party and get either one big present or a few small presents. Depends what is on my kids lists.


I usually do even when I spend more on her party and she’s 3. Even a little 10-15 gift for them goes a long way and makes them feel special. We usually spend about $500-800 but a good chunk of that was food She gets a little gift usually clothes and her party and a nicer gift on her birthday

But kudos for teaching him about money already I get so much hell cuz I make my 3 year old pay me for her dollar tree supplies.

I thought Its For 16 years old than i D say no need For present but For 4 year old? I mean If you got 2k For party i am sure you got like 20-50$ For little keepsake present as they dont understand the party is the present……

2 grand is over the top for a 4 year old…keep it simple…my parties were always less then 300…and they were great!!!

I give my kids parties every year… and yes I do consider that gift… however I make up goody hampers with their favourite treats on it & get inexpensive gifts just to add to the excitement…

I don’t count the party as a gift. I always throw the party and get gifts.

Holy crap. My sons 7th birthday is coming out and even with renting the bowling alley out, providing food and having 30+ kids and their parents the party will be about 500 bucks

I can’t imagine spending around $2K on a birthday party for a 4 year old :grimacing:

But imagine being able to spend $2K on a party, that he will never remember, and not being able to spend $20 on a present that he will at least get some use out of.


I would say at least 1 gift from you. If there are people coming to the party there is a good chance they will bring a gift so only getting 1 would be fine I’m sure. I think anyway.

You know what, do whatever you feel is right. Everyone is going to give their 5c worth but you go with what you feel. I love the fact that you are teaching him about gratitude etc. Gifts can be given in any way or form. Who says a gift can’t be a hug or time ? Please don’t listen to all the unwanted and negative comments. Also, $2k is not much these days and everything adds up especially food drinks etc.
Your son is lucky to have such a wonderful mum :two_hearts:

I always get mine a gift too, but I also have never spent 2k on a party lol. My daughter turned 4 in October and we had Anna and Elsa come which was about $200 and the rental place I got was like $80. Then the obvious decorations and cake. Prob a total $350 maybeeee!

I’m curious what kind of party your throwing that’s costing you 2k and also, can I come :joy::joy::joy:

I’ve never spent that much on a birthday party for mine, I refuse to spend much on decorations if they’ll only be used one time. We always get them a present.

If you honestly think the party is a gift, I’m sorry there is something wrong with you, I as a single mom, they always had a decent party ,Because It Is Their Day. And also bought them gifts.

Absolutely with the gifts. At 4 they are not going to care about the party like you. It will be fun for a day. Gifts normally last longer lol. For my 4 to be 5 year old. She will be able pick one or 2 special friends and we will do a fun activity. I will obviously pay for her friends as well. I’m personally not going to do party’s if I can avoid it :rofl:

Why throw him a party if you’re going to be complaining about it? Yes you should still buy your child a gift good grief. The party is more for you than it is for him because you’re trying to make an example out of this party which is wrong. It’s your own fault the party is coming to 2k no party should ever cost that much for a child good grief. He doesn’t understand about the thought and work that goes into a party at 4 years old. He’s 4! Ffs!

We gift them 2-4 things. Then throw them a party where they obviously get a ton more gifts. Gifts from us given on their birthday after a special dinner of their choice and party is usually on a weekend. My kids are 6,5,3,2,1 and 3M. We just had the older twos bdays (Feb 28&March7) and spent $500 on a joint bday party where we had friends, family, and both of their classes attend.

Ofcourse I’ll buy my kids a gift lol is that even a question… I spend around $300 for the party. I start getting things here n there like a month before, so I don’t do it all at once

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I always get my kid a gift but I also don’t spend nearly that much on the party lol. Last year I had everyone meet at a kids park and everyone loved it lol

Just did my sons party I paid about the same. I had to get him gifts . Every year he looks forward to my gifts for him.

I go all out for birthdays… but 2 grand is out of the question. Parties and yes a few gifts… It’s about the baby- not how you look to other people.

Whoa this comment section didn’t win!
Her money, her problem. Let her spend the 2K. This kid could be her miracle baby after a traumatic past… or she could come from a judgement family…who knows…

To answer the question you asked. Yes girl! Get a gift! Whether it be a a sentimental gift or a extravagant gift… Yes just get him one… :heart:

A 4 year old does not want a $2,000 birthday party and he/she won’t even remember the party.


We throw huge parties. That’s their gift. They rack up about 1000 in cash from the guests and tons of presents. I don’t by them anything. They don’t need it

With spending that much money on a birthday party, I hope you’re also contributing to a college fund.

Your spending 2,000 on a 4 year olds birthday? No wonder you think the party is a gift. Yet here I am struggling to even buy diapers

My kids get a choice of either party and smaller gift or bigger gift and no party :slightly_smiling_face:
This year all 4 are having a party

Yes I give gifts with a party but I personally would never spend that amount of money on a party.


Just say y’all broke and won’t go the extra mile for your kid^:joy::joy::joy: argue w ya mama

Present is far more important than any party, sorry. He won’t appreciate the cost of an expensive party and he won’t understand the effort either.


Wow $2000 for a birthday party? Heck I’m the cheap mom who buys decorations at Dollar Tree or Walmart and my kids have always been happy with that. Plus buying cake or ice cream cake for them. And I also buy them gifts as well

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Always gifts that would be terrible not to have gifts.

You spent $2,000 on a 4 year olds birthday and are questioning another $100 for a gift lol :laughing:


Yes. The party is the event not the gift. I usually do a cake and big gift/s on the actual birthday then the party and small gifts the following weekend. I’m also not spending 2k on a party, she’s 11, she would be mad if I did and would say to spend less. Kids don’t care about elaborate.