Autism mommies I need your honest opinion. Do you regret getting an Autism diagnosis if your child is high functioning? My mom told me she regrets getting my brother diagnosed and wished they would’ve skipped it. My other brother is undiagnosed and everything went so much smoother for him. I’m pretty sure my oldest is autistic (will be 5 next month) and possible adhd. He’s been in OT and play therapy for almost two years and has made a lot of progress. He’s just really smart and it’s making him struggle in school. I don’t know what to do.
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A diagnosis isn’t for you. It’s for your child. It’s to help them feel like they fit in somewhere.
I listen to my 15 year old and his friends talk and they are so supportive of each other’s diagnosis. One day is friend was like “if I’m too blunt just know it’s my autism talking “ and the other boys were like “ oh dude it’s totally cool. If you see me wondering off while talking it’s my adhd “ like it just makes them feel like there’s reasons for being different. I really wish my parents generation had believed in diagnosis instead they didn’t want to label anyone.
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Does he go to pre school? My son was struggling with school and I asked for him to be evaluated. They took him for testing right in side the school and told me he was developmental delayed. I was so sure he was autistic because he had so many symptoms. He also sees an OP for hand strength. He was approved for an IEP in school and has made such great progress. I know it’s a shame to say but when I thought my son was autistic I cried because I wanted a “normal” child.
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Diagnosis is the only way your getting him help if and when he needs it. School need them and so do most programs. It’s not something you should just skip.
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My daughter is 41 with an IQ in the top 2% and with ADHD and Autism. She was diagnosed by a private therapist as an adult but is on a 14 year waiting list here in the UK for a formal National Health Service diagnosis so that she qualifies for special consideration from employers and the benefits system. She never fitted in and struggled with school. She was always in trouble for being disruptive, not doing or not finishing her work, fidgeting, not listening etc. As a teen she refused to go to school regularly but passed all her exams with flying colours anyway. Her only adult job was in a call centre for debt collection. Bright lights, background music, non stop noise, in close proximity to other people (ie within her personal space). It was hell for someone with autism and she had a breakdown. If your child is diagnosed there will be concessions made. Any reputable school, college or employer will be able/obliged to help. A diagnosis is a passport to better and more understanding treatment not a hindrance.
I wasn’t tested, my parents just listened to me complain about the symptoms and did nothing. They watched me develop serious social issues and watched me be taken advantage off because of it. They saw me struggle to make friends and spend many years on my own as a kid. My childhood was very lovely. When I was diagnosed it really helped me understand all my issues. But now I am older and probably will never be anything but lonely. Hello the kids.
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There are so many family’s out there that are begging to get a diagnosis but the wait time and hoops you need to jump through are so ridiculous alot of them just give up . Without a diagnosis you can’t get school help , funding , respite care etc. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t If you have the opportunity to do so
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Nope. No regrets. My 4 and a half year old is adhd and high functioning. Just got her diagnosis. Waiting for level. My 2 and a half year old is lvl 3 non verbal.
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When my son was 6 months old I knew he had Asperger’s. He was diagnosed at 2 with sensory processing because they didn’t want to put that nasty label on him. On his 3rd birthday I finally got the Asperger’s diagnosis. I worked so hard with him all his life on many skills and learning and anything and everything. What I regret and I really wouldn’t use that word, but I worked with him so much before the diagnosis that he didn’t qualify for any programs with the county or state, and when he started school the school said he didn’t have it because he didn’t have the typical markers/signs of autism because I had worked so hard with him so he doesn’t get any support or help at school, no recognition for his sensory either so he ends up struggling more just with class size, sounds, routine, ect then any of the academic. He is in 4th grade and his teachers all say they can’t teach him anything new because he knows it all. Like dividing is their topic in math…i was doing that with him when he was 4 just to occupy his mind. So I regret the way I went about getting him support because now he doesn’t qualify and the school doesn’t recognize him as autistic with sensory leading him to struggle more. (My son was born 2013)
My ex husband (sons father) was born in 1987 and he was never diagnosed. His parents and doctors didn’t know what was wrong with him. So his dad beat him with a belt, mom ignored him and gave him porn at 8 to keep him busy and when he was 12 he was so bad they did electric shock treatments for 5 years 3 times a week. It left him with ticks and twitches and memory issues and made him very violent. It wasn’t until he met me that I started trying to help him understand why he didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere and doctors diagnosed him with low functioning autism. So at 27 he had a reading writing math, basic life skill level of a 12-15 yr old
I only got my diagnosis at age 29, and it finally felt like things started to make sense. So no, the only thing I regret is not getting it sooner. It makes you realize that there are reasons for certain behaviors, and not that you are a problem.
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If he is high functioning and not having problems related to his possable autism and u are handling him fine in my opinion its not needed it would only be cosmetic and of no benefit to your family. But like I said before ppl jump on me its my opinion a mum of 5 all with high functioning asd diagnosed.
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As someone who didn’t get diagnosed until 28 and spent their entire life struggling with no supports; not at all.
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No I don’t regret it. It means they get the assistance they need where they need it. Ignoring what’s happening with them and giving them the help they need even as high functioning would suck for them.
Your mom and what she went through with two very different childrens needs and what they went through does not affect what your child will need and go through. What you do is advocate for your child. Focus on what they need and you’ll be fine.
Absolutely not. A diagnosis made it so I was able to get him the help he needed and so many more resources!!
I diagnosis will give him access to accommodations that he may need in the future. It’s will also affirm to him why he’s different than other kids his age. There’s nothing wrong with being diagnosed.
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I have never regretted perusing a diagnosis for my son. He’s 16 now and having a diagnosis on paper has made accessing the things he needs to be supported and thriving so much easier.
No way he knows why he struggles and what help and support he needs to help him otherwise he would be a very confused young man !
Why would anyone regret learning more about themselves? The undiagnosed brother had things smoother? 
I am confused about this, although it leads me to believe your mother may not have understood her rights in the public school system or maybe how to properly advocate for the other one?
A diagnosis doesn’t create obstacles. Systems and outdated mindsets create obstacles. Letting the school know about a child’s diagnoses opens doors for more options and abilities to provide accommodations specific to their needs. Without that knowledge, the school must treat the child like any other child and if he is having some struggles, having a diagnosis and open communication will help and not hurt. And as a parent you have a say in which accommodations your child receives. You are a part of their IEP team.
I would encourage you to join autism spaces online and get the perspective of people and parents who’ve been there.
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No I do not and never will regret getting my son the help snd support he needs.
Definitely get your child tested
I don’t know. My son was diagnosed with asd at 19 months old. He’s 9 now & you wouldn’t really know he has autism if I didn’t tell you. It’s obvious he has adhd though. I feel the diagnosis was pointless for us bc he would’ve gotten the therapy he had at an early age anyway. The diagnosis was devastating to me, bc of the unknowns & dumb people not understanding anything about it. I didn’t need to put myself through that bc he turned out to be just fine. Every situation is different though
I’m late diagnosed high masking autistic and I WISH I would have been diagnosed during childhood. It would have prevented me from having an array of issues and would have made me feel like I wasn’t alone.
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We had a “developmental delay” diagnosis for my daughters IEP and in IL that only makes her eligible for an IEP thru age 8. So I brought her to a neuropsychologist and she was diagnosed with ADS1, severe anxiety and complex ADHD. While my daughter is only 7, I 100% do not at all regret getting a medically recognized diagnosis. It has helped tremendously with her school IEP meeting her specific needs and has greatly changed the focus of out of school speech and OT. Making it so that my child has her best chance for success will never ever be something I regret. Keep in mind too, that it is ILLEGAL for staff to EVER specify a child’s diagnosis and that it is the child’s right to share if they want to share. Aka, if your brother had difficulties with peers or staff or whatever, it very likely means someone broke the law.
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I was diagnosed at 31. I wish someone, anyone would’ve cared enough to get me diagnosed as a kid. I had such a hard time and if I had known why, it may not have caused so many issues in my life. Just knowing helps me now.
As an autistic adult who went 27 years without knowing, without services and accommodations I wouldn’t regret the diagnosis. We don’t use the term high functioning as it’s harmful to autistic individuals, by my children are relatively low support needs autistics and they still need understanding and support. Without their diagnosis they’d go through life like me struggling to understand why they’re so “different”. Life is much harder when you don’t have the proper tools (services and accommodations).
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I do not regret it. The diagnosis opened up alot of other resources for him. If you child is struggling in school then it’s your responsibility to get him the assistance he needs. That includes an evaluation so he can have accommodations in school.
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Diagnosis is the only way you will get support for the child.
I don’t regret having my daughter diagnosed and then after that I was diagnosed at an older age.
The supports now after the diagnosis are great, we have a behavioural interventionist who works with her weekly and extra support at school.
That child might grow up and resent it if you don’t get the proper diagnosis and they find out about it later in life.
No……my son was diagnosed in year 1/2(?) …… he is very clever, soaks in information like a sponge. BUT he also has meltdowns, knowing he has autism helps his school know how to deal with them when they come etc. also in his first school as he kept having meltdowns and lashing out when he had them (not like him at all, it’s because his needs weren’t being met) we was actually told its ground for exclusion so he almost got excluded for having meltdowns….(we changed his school…)
Nope! She’s almost five and we knew around 6 months she had it. She’s pretty good on her own but still so much going on in that beautiful brain. Glad we have it and it helps me learn so much about her
A diagnosis has opened so many doors for my child and has definitely helped us with recourses in helping him with speech and OT therepy as well as so many other things to help him in life, we absolutely do not regret it!
We were pushed to get him diagnosed by schools…always new he was different…always new we were all different…yes he was diagnosed as austisic at 15 after years of trying with doctors cuz it was school base pushed…school told me they would help…they didn’t, they never did, but our boy ended up tagged…he now can’t do things he wants to do like join the army…2nd kid watched what his brother went through and managed to mask his differences, 3rd kid no hiding it so started with again school base push to get him diagnosed at being of covid…turns out we are all different with a very rare chromosome disorder…only 6 in the world…me and my 5 kids, cuz of this issue we were all left with nothing, no help, just us working our way through the education dept left with 3 boys that can’t read and write properly…but…our kids are amazing, they can do things others can’t, we are physically strong, we are rocks in our own friend and family circles, we sense things, we can handle more than most, and we teach them through art and culture…ours are now 20 17 and 15…our 9yr daughter is the same and I won’t be getting pushed by anyone to get her diagnosed with anything, well besides our chromosome thing…she is how we found it, I was over 40 and had to have more tests than normal pregnant with her…
It’s every parents own choice what to do…none of us have a hand book on how it will go…sometimes it goes well other times it doesn’t…
Good luck with it all…and don’t forget we have mothers instincts for a reason…xxxxxx
Why would you regret it? It gives answers. A path to follow for help. A guidance to resources available so that your child can grow and learn the best way for them. To be the best they can be. Autism isn’t a death sentence. It’s not a disability it’s a different ability.
My daughter was diagnosed at 11. After I fought for testing. I knew something was going on!
I do not regret it. It gave me answers as to why my son was having issues. He’s getting to the right place now, but he had to have a diagnosis first before we could get there. Absolutely do not regret.
Not at all, early intervention has so many positive benefits. My son who is now 9 has come along way thanks to the early intervention. A diagnosis isn’t a label, it’s to help you help your child. A diagnosis will help him get accommodations later on in school should he need them.
I’m pursuing one after years of being unsure…third grade hit him hard, this is the first year he truly can’t cope or keep up after years of ‘well, he does his own thing but that’s ok’
It maybe went smoother for one brother because every human being is different and every person’s experience with life is different. The diagnosis is irrelevant.
My son was diagnosed at 12 after years of appointments, therapies, struggles and battles. He wanted to go out for a celebratory meal as he now had the answers that HE needed.x
I feel my sons deserve to understand themselves and part of that is their autistic identity
Most people want their kids labeled these days , 1 because it gives them an excuse for poor parenting. 2. They want meds ,so kids act like zombies instead of regular kids. 3 so they can collect SSI for them. Its sad you have time to make kids,but don’t want to parent, ik ow several kids with autism and ADHD are very highly intellectual, some times more so then parents
so mine wasnt dx til 15 but my mama gut he is… hes super high functioning wicked smart but no social skills i wish drs would have helped sooner
Diagnoses means resources. There’s a lot of help out there you can’t get without a diagnosis.
What you need to do is heal his brain naturally- no food dyes. Proper vitamins and supplements. Detox from heavy metals. Test him for mold exposure. No more pokes!
A. ) You’re not an “Autism mommy”. Your child’s diagnosis isn’t a fashion statement.
B. ) Your CHILDS diagnosis isn’t for you, it’s for THEM.
C. ) High functioning isn’t a thing or accurate measure.
This whole post is gross asf