Do you resent your spouse because he works and you do not?

Do you resent your spouse because he works out of the house and you have to be home with your kids? I am trying not to have these feelings but lately its so hard not to dislike him

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You have a husband who provides perhaps rethink your mindset.

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I didn’t resent him for that. I resented him for saying I didn’t work. What does a full time nanny cost, cook, maid, grocery shopper, and many more. I resent him by making me feel unappreciated. It helped when I got me time. Time to get my feet done, bath to myself, long drive for me to do whatever I wanted. :relieved: How are you going to pour from an empty cup?

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I don’t resent him but I do get jealous sometimes when he’s constantly working even when at home. It’s hard but I always try to remember that he’s Doing all of his for our family

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Get a part time job. It can really help. It is hard not having adult conversations etc. I was thankful i got to be able to stay home when we had our daughter but when she turned one I went back to work as missed having that adult break.

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These days go by so fast. I know it’s so hard. Feeling lonely and isolated and like all you are is a mom. But it goes by in the blink of an eye so I guess my only advice is to try to soak it all in and enjoy these moments while they last. One day you’ll look back and be so grateful you got to watch every step of your baby’s growing up. Easier said than done I know. I have three kids. Stay at home mom for going on three years now. It’s so hard. But I try to enjoy it and realize that lots of people wish they could do what I do. I’ve also started serving on the weekends and it has helped a ton.

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As a working mom, It would be my dream to stay home with my kids :woman_shrugging:t2: financially that’s not possible. Honestly, resenting him for working isn’t a super healthy mindset. Maybe try talking to him about it? Or see if there’s a part time job you can work into your schedule so that you can spend sometime out of the house.

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No, staying home is a blessing not to resent, not many have that privilege. Being a single homeless parent at one point of my oldest & my life, l learned to be thankful for what we have. When I met my husband now & was able to stay home, I enjoyed every second the good & the bad. Be thankful you have a working husband instead of thinking negative think positive thoughts.

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I think this question needs to be rephrased to do you resent your kids because you have to stay home with them? After staying home to raise my four children while they were young, my hubby and I recently switched roles (he hurt himself at work) I work 13 days out of a fortnight to make ends meet and I can tell you it’s not a easy task… him coming home to you resenting him for that is bullshit. Is he putting food on the table? Ensuring everything is taken care of? Imagine if he didn’t.

I was a stay home mom for our kids for 11 years and yes there was times that I wished I could get out of the house like he did. Now all of our kids are grown and talking to them and hearing how much it meant to them to know mom was going to be there every day. I’m so grateful that I have the relationship with our kids that I do. They know they can call mom no matter what or when. My husband worked his butt off to provide for our family of 6 and there’s no way I can ever repay him for it so I could be home. It is hard but when the kids are grown and gone that’s when you will be able to sit back and see just how much of a blessing it really was.

I stayed home for 6 years with 2 kids. I love my children. I would not - want to stay home again. Some just aren’t built for it and thats ok. I like having adult conversations and getting out of the house and having my own money. I definitely was disconnected from the world and reality staying home.

Hugs. Vent away. We all know the feeling of feeling like we have to be there. And wishing for a moment we weren’t where we are. Moms life is fun and sucks all at The same time
Hugs.

If you can, you might think about going to work. I was a off and on stay at home mom. Now im on SSI and get less then 500.00 dollars a month. I can not live on my own. I did not save anything for my retirement. I wish i worked more. It’s nice to be a shm but you need to think about you old age too. Just saying.

Are you actually resenting him because he is working or because he’s leaving the house by himself? Take the kids and go outside more. If that isn’t the issue then maybe talk to him about watching the kids so you can go to the store. He’s going to work but to enjoy himself… if you need time to yourself or miss working you need to talk to your husband about that instead of letting these kinds of thoughts and feelings her this far.

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No i never resented my husband for working outside of the home. I was a little jealous he got to be face to face with other adults.
If you resent him for working outside of the home why not look into getting a job( even if it’s part time) and seeing about getting your kids a babysitter, daycare, etc…. if you need help paying for child care, go to your local dhs and see if you meet the income qualifications for childcare vouchers.
Or if you don’t want to do that and if you have the means pick up a hobby or something for you to do solo or to do with the kids to get yourself and the kids out of the house.
Also maybe in a nice way explain to your husband your feelings.
Staying home is great but becoming stir crazy is a real thing especially when the only people you have to talk to is kids all day and no adults.

I don’t resent him, but more so jealous of him which makes me irritable sometimes. But you have to remember he sacrifices as well by missing a lot of things.

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No. When he is home, I can go out and get a break from the kids. I also have people I can call and come watch my kids so I can get out if I want to.

Is daycare and getting a job (even if just part time) an option? My job shut down when I was in maternity leave, and I was going nuts. My husband even told me to get the kids in daycare to get me a break.

No… but I get out of the house when I need.

Looking after children is far more taxing than working outside the home FOR SURE!!

You should feel blessed to be able to stay home.

Do volunteer work a couple day a week

nope, I enjoy every second of it :slight_smile: kids grow to fast, My 11 year old already cares about her friends more then me …way more lol :laughing: enjoy till it last, you have 50 years of work and only 5 of little kids before they off to school :school:, enjoy, relax, take it in, you will miss it, get out of house daily, park, classes, events, keep yourself busy

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Would you rather he quit his job and you guys loss everything?

You don’t “have” to be home…you’re choosing to

Get a job your self and if child care 1 always home wit children and other at work
Mr works 4 12 hrs 6 til 6pm while I wit little en his 4 days off I’m doin 7am til 7pm
We have no child care nor can pay cost but it possible both parents still work tbf
Just hard on ur relationship

I can understand what you are going through. When I was a shm there were periods that I would go through this. In my case it was because my ex often talked down to me and devalued my position because I stayed home. (Which was what he wanted so we didn’t have to afford daycare).
My suggestion would be to take time and examine why you are feeling like this. It will give you a better idea of how to get a solution.

I was a stay at home mom of three I wouldn’t trade the time for anything. There were years I worked knowing all I was doing was paying a sitter With little leftover. you need to talk to hubby to figure out what will work for ya’ll, you need some me time and a date night,

So ignore these other assholes. Yes, it is a common feeling. Alot of SAHM say they feel this because even though their parent is going to work, their work is at least outside of the home. Sit down & tell him how your feeling. Say once hes home that means your work day is done to & now your both 50/50 for kids & household chores. Also express you getting to go out couple hours a week just to get out of the house! Either alone or with him or with friends

Get a job and put the kids in daycare don’t put yourself through that it’s unnecessary stress you can control

Is this even really an issue. If your not working. How the hell do you think you’d have a place to live and food to eat if he didn’t work. …

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I’d appreciate a working man but I understand what you mean about a working man & a family man. But maybe that’s the trade off than having a man who won’t work & you’re not the one home with the kids

That sounds like a u problem not his problem

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Nope. I cherish the time with the kids and appreciate the fact that my husband goes to work everyday to provide for us. It can be rough some days, but there’s so much you miss out on as a working mom.

It’s the opposite in my family. I prefer to work, while my husband chooses to be our sahp.
I will say, though: I recognize how hard he works for our family, and encourage him to go out with friends/take time for himself whenever he wants to. If the roles were reversed, that’s what I would want.