I’m friends with my ex on fb cause we have a child together. The rest, no. If it bothers you that much, you have 2 options:
- Talk to your partner and find out why they still have their ex on their friends list.
- Leave.
No you need to leave that relationship…
Go to lunch with him, or let him go be with her
He needs to get rid.
You can’t stop a cheater from cheating. You can drive someone to it tho. My opinion
Fyi FB keeps messages forever… You can get a download of every message ever sent from the start of the account🤷♀️
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Reconnect back with one of ur exes n go put to lunch with him n etc, flip upside those tables gf
People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
No one! I just went through this!
His reaction speaks miles
If kids are involved, sure. Otherwise, nope!
Deleting messages & the fact yr even asking this question are red flags 
Your feelings are 100% valid. Don’t put up with that
He’s cheating on you hun sorry
Red flag, run chick, ruuuuuuun!!!
Tell him of course the TWO of you can meet her for lunch.
Not over reacting. Hes guilty
No kids together? Deleted messages? Sounds fishy to me.
Fuck him all the way off 
Suspicious…you aren’t over reacting
Hell nah. To the nah nah Nahhhh
You only delete messages if you’re hiding something 
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Being friends I’m fine with but deleting messages is SUPER sketchy.
You’re feelings are completely valid and if he doesn’t want to respect them, he doesn’t deserve you in his life.
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LEAVE . If an ex is more important than how YOU FEEL he ain’t the one the RIGHT MAN will say GET MY PHONE AND DELETE THEM BABE . it ain’t about over reacting jealousy NOTHING ITS ABOUT RESPECT and you can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect and or value you and your feelings .
He is hiding something if he’s deleting their conversation. She is crossing boundaries and he is allowing it. If he doesn’t validate & respect your feelings that is a huge red flag.
I’d send him packing back 2 the ex. Clearly he has no regard 4 ur feelings. How do u maintain n work 2 grow a relationship when 1 has no respect 4 the others feelings? Is there even a point 2 try? He needs 2 grow up 1st of all.
Always go with your gut, if you feel something isn’t right your most likely right!
When he starts to insult you to coverup his doings then it’s time for a change. Don’t walk run!! If you stay you will regret it
Leave girl…if he can not choose you, and listen to what you have to say and respect that and your feelings. He is gas lighting you, LEAVE!!!
You’re not over reacting and he should respect your feelings. BUT…. I’m very close to my ex married 12 yrs (now divorced 15). We do have a dtr who is 22 and I can tell you, I was and am still his BFF. He’s come to me with relationship problems with his wife and I’ve always steered him to looking at things her way. They’ve been together almost as long as we’ve been divorced. We have NEVER done anything outside of talking and texting. He’s just a great friend. I don’t know if she knows that we’re still friends. But if she asked me to not be friends with him, I’d have to say he would probably be messing up like he did with me. Some people are just better as friends than in a relationship.
My hubby has ex’s on his page…I really dnt care cuz if he wanted them he would be with them…I also have ex’s on my page…they hit me up n say hi…just simple convo nothing more or less but I delete those messages just not to cause any issues…I do not care about them no sweat off my nose…n I’m pretty sure they hit him up too but he’s mine n I’m not worried
I don’t think having an ex as a friend is a bad thing, it’s when you’re deleting messages, doing things behind your significant others back, being sneaky, going out on dates then that becomes an issue. How would he feel if you did the same thing?
If they have no kids together. He should unfriend or block
Add 1 of your exs see what he thinks then … He obviously still wants her around
Deleting the messages is where he lost me
If he’s deleting stuff but not her he’s being unfaithful in some way
Sounds like that is your partner’s current not his ex 
There’s something going on.
Deleting messages.
Going to lunch. 
You have a narcissist.
Run.
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They only get worse with that attitude
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Definitely not over reacting, he his being very disrespectful, if he isn’t deleting and respecting your feeling girl…I would dip!!
Do not tolerate that shit, if it was innocent he wouldn’t have to delete his messages.
Narcissistic much?? Kick his ass to the curb but be ready for him to act completely out of his gourd because honey that sounds very familiar to me
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All I have to say is if he’s deleting messages then he’s being shady.
Know your worth!
I’d leave his ass without hesitation
My ex is friends with his 2 exes 1 whom he has a kid with and well he ended up sleeping with his baby momma. Then we split up and the next day he’s with the other exe he swore he was doing nothing with…so ya
I’m friends with some of mine. We were friends before we got together & remained friends long after. The female jealousy crap is a bit ridiculous. My bestfriend of 29 years happens to be a male & I ain’t about to give him up 
not for anyone. EVER
This man still fucking his ex sorry to say. I think if ,it was me , I’d get this idiot out of my life. He obviously still loves his ex. Dont stick around. Girl. Let him go
Tell him bye 
ain’t none of my ex on my page. All them mofo are dead to me and especially if we ain’t got no kids together wtf. Yea he doesn’t care about ya feeling at all.
Fk him off!!
Why delete messages if they were innocent? 
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Nope nope nope not ok I’d be gone there is no reason for them to be friends ask him if it’s ok you go out to lunch with your ex I bet the tables soon turn xx
Dump him! He clearly doesn’t respect you or your relationship with him, do not wait around to find out just how far he’s willing to go to just respect you or your relationship, I say this from experience, dump him now.
It’s time to move on… he has no respect for you or your relationship. Neither does she!
I’m friends on FB with my ex husband and a couple of long ex boyfriends. We’ve all moved on, but we’re still friends - nothing more.
I would personally break up with him bc he either is cheating on you with her or is planning to and with a child I have no time for that bullshit I’d rather be a single momma in a happy home then some bullshit like that
Hell No but most do…Rather you know the ex or not…Believe that. Even if it goes back to Highschool sweethearts.
So he can delete messages but not the girl? Hmm yep I’d leave.
I mean deleting messeges is suss asf.
But in saying that if he didn’t delete messeges and they were only friends for the kids you need to accept that they have children together they need to co-parent I don’t see any harm in being friends
leave him there’s something still going on I bet
Noooope. Not overreacting. I would leave.
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Leave him. He’s playing with your head
The real question is, “why are you putting up with it?”
Why delete messages? 
I’m a firm believer in giving people a taste of their own medicine if they do me wrong and then see no wrong with what they do. People don’t like it when you do to them what they do to you.
From experience I would dump his ass. I trusted my partner of 16 years and recently came to find out through his own admission that he had a 2 year affair with someone I trusted him with. He was with his less than attractive co worker the entire time I was pregnant with our son. I knew he wasn’t a very kind man but certainly didn’t think he was that big of a piece of shit. I’ve been proven wrong and everyone who cared for me and told me to get away from him quickly , was right.
I’m not saying your man is screwing her buttt I wouldn’t put all my trust into him when he is showing such lack of concern for your feelings and trying g to turn it on you by saying abusive things like “ you’re cooked in the head”. Sounds like an ass.
He’s a narcissist! The ex is not the problem she’s a decoy for who he’s really talking too…
Leave if there was nothing going on between them he wouldn’t delete messages and telling you your crazy is gaslighting like a mf. Two big red flags. Drop his ass and go find some one that you truly deserve.
I’d kick him to the curb.
Nope! Follow up sis. That ain’t right 
No you’re not over reacting. Leave his ass because he is cheating on you with his ex. No need to delete messages if he were innocent!
Add your ex on fb 
The fact that messages are deleted is a huge red flag and I don’t think your over reacting at all! If there is no kids involved, there’s really no reason he should be in contact anyway…it’s called respect and he should respect the fact that your having these thoughts and shouldn’t have an issue with dropping her 
You should come first and you deserve so much better than that! 
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Red flags he still has feelings for her. And that bitch should back off
You are not over reacting. If they have no connections and no kids. They have no reason to talk. It sounds like he is keeping her in his back pocket. Leave him!!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do you think it's okay for your partner to follow their ex on social media?
Being friends I have no issue with, my partner is friends with one of his ex’s and I still talk to most of mine.
But the fact hes deleting messages shows he has something to hide x
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My feeling on this is he is trying to gaslight you as he is doing something that is inappropriate and dosnt want to lose you as an option. I don’t know you or your partner so I don’t really want to say too much. But if you have a feeling it’s wrong tell him and if he dosnt respect your feelings it may be a good idea to look at your future together. I had an ex do this and I later found out he was seeing me and his ex and would say the same thing to the both of us.
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It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. You have boundaries for yourself and your relationship. If someone isn’t happy to accept those boundaries or at least talk about them then that isn’t OK.
You both need to sit down and make your boundaries clear xx
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I didn’t see an issue with it until he started deleting stuff. Deleting is first sign of breaking your trust. Need to communicate this. If not… You already know the answer by asking the question.
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Sounds like he is trying to turn it to you being the bad guy. If he has nothing to hide he shouldn’t be deleting messages, should be showing you to prove his point and gain trust. I feel like he should also be willing to delete her knowing it bothers you, she shouldn’t be such a big deal to him. He should delete her. You don’t just gain trust you earn it.
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I’m friends with a few of my exes on fb. My husband is friends with one of his, that I know of for sure. I trust him so I don’t need to know if he’s friend with more My exes wife was also the officiant at our wedding 
We trust each other so it’s not a big deal.
The fact that he deletes messages is odd. And telling you are cooked in the head is disrespectful. That’s no ok. If my husband was doing that stuff it would be a different story
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So I’m friends with my ex. He is friends with a few of his ex’s. Only one b**** I don’t like and he fully deleted her off. We talked I told him how I felt and the reasons why. We communicated. We see his ex my favorite of his ex’s all the time. She is amazing. But if something feels fishy trust your gut
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My partner has some of his exes on Facebook. He made it clear at the beginning of our relationship that they don’t talk or haven’t even communicated for a while before we got together. They haven’t spoke while we’ve been together so it doesn’t bother me. However if an ex reached out to him like in your situation then words would be had. If he doesn’t delete then I will! Or if he went along with it and spoke to her then he can move along!!
Make him communicate. Ask him why he deleted them if there’s nothing to hide. I have exes on mine but we don’t talk except for the occasional “your kids are cute” on a fb post. They’re married, I’m married. We all know that. I also have 1000% trust in my husband and he in me. If something feels off you need to communicate that. Relationships are all trust and honesty.
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If ur questioning it then something has happened to make you question this. Trust issues are already in play and there are insecurities about ur relationship. Follow ur gut, you wouldn’t feel this way for no reason.
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No kids together and going out for lunch is a bit much… Mabey set your boundaries see how he reacts.
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Them being friends on Facebook isn’t the issue, it’s him deleting the messages and gaslighting you that is a huuuuge indicator that something wrong is going on there
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He is gaslighting you and manipulating, the issues isn’t him being friends with the ex. Its the lack of transparency with their friendship. A partner should never want to make you feel that way, time to let him go. Find a man who values your feelings. 
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Mental affair and possibly physical affair. If nothing was going on, he wouldn’t need to delete the messages and would respect his marriage vows.
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I’m friends with my ex on fb and it’s not an issue. But at the point he invited me to lunch it would be a problem.
That is not right at all. Tell her if she gonna be that way and delete messages then u deserve better then her
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Nooo that’s not ok!! Your definitely not over reacting. I’d be acting the same way. Something is goin on there if he won’t delete her. Especially if he’s deleting their messages. Hmm.
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He is hiding something. Trust your instincts.
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As long as it’s ok for you to text your ex’s, delete the convos, and meet them for lunch. My ex did that stupid shit with me. Over his baby mama and always said it’s “for his child” when liking her stuff, talking to her all day and sharing my personal life, and him buying her flowers has nothing to do with it. After him and I had a baby he damn sure didn’t do none of that stuff “for our child” I got delete, blocked off everything, he wouldn’t see our new baby and refused to even answer a call. Nope next.
Sounds like some long lost regret, been there done that.
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Run girl… he’s cheating
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Ehhh, I’d be upset especially if messages were missing. My ex was friends with his ex on Facebook but they had kids together so 
In my mind if they don’t have kids together what is the reasoning for them being friends on Facebook. It’s great they can get along and all, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with them being friends.
Lmao I was in a similar situation a long time ago. I was drunk one night and I got on her messager and I told her how I felt about her. I still feel the same way about her as I did back then. But made my feeling be known and she went and told my hubby and he looked at me and started talking to me and said i was not being nice. And i looked at him and said i don’t have to be nice to her after everything she did to me .
My sons father was the same way.
I’ll be honest, I contacted this woman myself.
She had no idea he was with me or had a baby on the way.
Normally when guys are friends with exes(I’m not saying all the time) and deleting messages. They have involvement with them. They usually like casual sex or casual dating. In his mind, you’re still an option. Not a priority. He calls you crazy because you’re spot on. All cheaters say that when you observe their behavior and your suspicions are in the right track.
This is where you either talk to her yourself or leave. It’s not worth it if it bothers you. Trust your gut, I knew to and I’m glad I spoke to her. She showed me their messages and there was definite flirting and him telling her he was single.
She blocked him after I showed her the ultrasound and our messages and pictures together. Now I’m currently in a custody battle. Man is narcissistic as hell.
Just leave. There’s other men out there that respect how you feel. And don’t talk to exes.
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Go with ur gut it never lies time to walk away
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Deleting the messages is the red flag.
Deleted messages is weird
Uhm him deleting messages and saying those things would have me packing. Plus he doesn’t care. Who wants to be with someone who doesn’t care how they feel? You know you aren’t overreacting. While it’s possible for exes to be friends, if you are uncomfortable with it then he needed to quit if he wants to be with you or loves you. You know what you need to do. Do it before you have a child with him, because behavior like that won’t change.