Hes not over her. At minimum he is hanging on still wanting a connection or friendship. By hiding messages, its showing a lack of respect and trust. Cut him loose. He is not being honest.
Hes obviously hiding something between him and her. Leave him immediately. Sounds like he isn’t over her yet
This relationship sounds exhausting
He is a narcissist and you are in a triangular relationship, while he gaslights you and demeans your valid feelings. You need to break up. You’ll live like this until he discards you.
I’m friends with all of my exs and talk to them often, HOWEVER I would never delete messages. That’s where is starts to be disrespectful and obviously not okay & him gaslighting you obviously shows hes doing or saying shit he’s gotta hide & knows is incorrect.
My question to u is
Do u want a lifetime OR even 5 more minutes of
“U are cooked in the head”
“Dont be stupid”
“Your crazy maybe u need psych help”
??? There IS someone who will value YOU
This asshole does not and proly never will
Cuz YOU have to learn to value yourself 1st
Being friends is 1 thing if they’re not hiding anything, but deleting messages, hell no. But I’ll tell you what, the problem isn’t them being friends, the problem is your current partner in general. Get rid of it.
Unless they have kids, they don’t need to be in contact. That’s weird in itself. He’s gaslighting you and calling you names to justify his wrong. And frankly, if she’s asking him out to lunch, she needs her ass beat.
The fact he deleted the
Messages a a bit strange and would upset me. But the rest of it is no cause for concern he picked YOU hes with YOU ether you trust him or you don’t
Yeah not overreacting. He’s keeping her on the back burner. Dangling a carrot in front of her, wants his little play toy and his house maid. Doesn’t care about your feelings…why are you with him?
Nope fuck that guy. He’s hiding something.
Your partner isn’t over their ex
Argument closed
Leave him. If he can’t even keep the messages to prove he’s not being a hoe its cuz he’s being a hoe.
Dump him it will only get worse
Leave him. He still has feelings for her.
Only if they have kids together I don’t even have my baby daddy on mine lol but they video chat anytime they ask
This relationship sounds exhausting
More than most of you belong in this group. Give it a try. Lmfao
Or I would add her myself and be her best friend forever. Lol
No you’re not over reacting. My ex did the same thing except they have a kid together. I didn’t think anything of it at first cause of the kid but he ended up leaving me for her. Trust your gut. It’s usually right.
1 Like
My husband and I have been together for 16 years we have children together and he Was friends with several ex girlfriends online and it made me uncomfortable I straight up told him that just because he sees them as friends doesn’t mean they don’t still have some type of underlined feelings for him still and they were his past and I am his present and future my feelings should matter more. He deleted every single one of them. I don’t mind him having female friends but women he had a romantic relationships with should not be in his life or know about our business and our childrens lives.
1 Like
I have been friends with 2 of my exes. We dated and it worked better as friends. My husband knows we talk on phone and dM. He travels for work,It depends on what y’all agreed and how much you trust each other. My friendships back go back 30-40. Married 32 years
I’m friends with my ex husband on Facebook, but we also have a child together. I’m also friends with his girlfriend who I absolutely LOVE! I would have a serious issue myself having someone on my Facebook that my wife didn’t feel comfortable with me having on there. I’d he extremely upset if my wife had someone on hers and was doing the things you describe. What he is doing to you is gaslighting. Get out while you can. I get being friends on fb, but the messages getting deleted and the remarks he makes shows he’s hiding something. You don’t deserve that. No one does.
Nope it’s wrong… it he wasn’t deleting them I’d believe he’d have nothing to hide but then to manipulate you and say bad things about your state of mind is the works of a narcissist. My ex did this to me all the time… All the while he cheated during our whole relationship… but I was crazy right!? Nope!!!
Deleting messages is something I would be focusing on. If they have nothing to hide messages wouldn’t be deleted. Also making you feel like you’re crazy for having your feelings about it all is another thing I would be focused on rather than the friendship. These two things make me believe there is more to it than he wants you to know and is deflecting to throw you off. I say he is cheating (emotionally if not physically as well). If you are not ok with this situation I say leave.
I wouldn’t be with anyone that said they didn’t care how I felt. Your feelings should mean enough to him for him to do it
Gaslighting at its finest. If he can’t be real with you and respect your feelings after you’ve expressed them, then he will do that with so much more over time. You need that mutual respect from your partner and he is refusing to give that to you.
He wants to keep his options open in case things don’t work out with you. The worst thing is he’s trying to gaslight you and invalidate your feelings as ‘overreacting’. I’d set a firm no entertaining exes boundary and if he can’t respect that maybe evaluate and assess the relationship.
If there’s no kids really imo there shouldn’t be contact anymore with an ex. And at the same time even if there’s kids involved i feel like it’d be a red flag to always delete the conversations because what is there to hide? I’ve dealt with stuff like this and tried to stick around. It just doesn’t work. And if you don’t have kids with him id suggest walking away unless you want to have a toxic relationship and be gaslight every day
Being friends online with ex’s isn’t a big deal for me, I am friends with some and I know my husband is also so that’s not an issue. What IS an issue and a HUGE issue is him deleting messages…he’s hiding shit and gaslighting you, it will only get worst. That’s a huge red flag, I’d be out if I were you.
NO. Absolutely not. If they had kids together, yes…but they don’t. Your partner doesn’t respect your feelings. You need to give them an ultimatum.
If he doesnt respect you…meaning your feelings and intentionally hiding and deleting things, I’d get out now. Been down that road many times, they never change.
Im friends with a couple ex boyfriends but dont talk to them…unless its skating related. My husband may or may not…if he feels the need to talk to his exs then not much I can do about it. He knows how I feel about his ex wife and yet his mother feels the need to keep her around. And she knows both me and my husband don’t approve.
It’s OK to remain friends with your ex , but their is a line to cross with that friendship. If your included in the friendship or not .if I am not included in the friendship the their’s a red light going off big time. You have every right to question his friendship with the ex and if he doesn’t like it. Then maybe you need to move on to someone else.
Run while you can. He will never change or respect your feelings. Trust me
Nope hun its not right for him to do that. My ex never talked to my exs but he sure stayed connected with his exs and so did his mother and he was cheating. Im not saying urs is cheating but u need to listen to ur gut
I’d leave him🤦🏻♀️ they are obviously hiding something. If he can’t delete her and and all her stuff they still have a thing for each other. And I’d just leave no reason to stay
Womans intuition is never wrong. If its telling u they’re doing something they shouldn’t then put ur foot down.
i dont think you ae overreacting . i would not be happy with this situation. i would feel that he is holding on to you and waiting for a reason to get back with ex . he still has feelings for her , thats obvious , i would lay down the law and if he doesnt break all ties with the ex , i would be on my way out the door
Not okay to be friends with an ex unless you have kids by them.
Any grown ass person can do whatever the hell they want. It’s up to you whether or not you stick around for it. If you don’t like it, tell him you don’t like it. If he doesn’t care, then he doesn’t care about your feelings. That’s the only answer you should need.
He sounds like a dumbass. Thinks he shouldn’t be deleting messages if he has nothing to hide. And calling you names? Wtf
Re-add some of your exes and see how that clown likes it!
2 can play that game!
No, walk away if he doesn’t care about your feelings and saying you cooked in the head
If he’s deleting messages, that’s a HUGE red flag.
no.if they have no kids theres absolutely no reason to be.imo🤷♀️
As long as you have trust and know you can trust him deep down you should be okay, but if something doesn’t feel right listen to your gut feeling.
Im Best Friends with my Ex, we do lunch and almost everything together.
Let him have his ex.
Know that’s why they call it and x if you still want to be friends with your x you are cheating you have to be honest with yourself because if you are still talking to your x that means you still have feelings for that person if you are not happy with the person you are with stop lieing to your self you are using him for a back up just incase you and the person you are with don’t make it
He wants to keep you around in case his plans with her doesn’t work out. He’s not over her but doesn’t want to let you go. But he’s definitely gaslighting you and doing something shady. Why don’t you leave?
Call your ex and invite him over ? If he doesnt see the problem with him doing it he shouldnt have a problem with you doing it
The only red flag I see here is the hiding messages. If you feel this insecure in your relationship you need to leave bottom line. Mature adults can still be friends and even close after breakups. You need to decide if lines have been crossed that you can’t come back from. Nobody else can do that but you. Find someone who feels the same way you do about social media.
He’s already sleeping with her…… he doesn’t want to quit talking to her then there is a reason…. I have experienced this first hand and it was because they were sleeping together behind my back
Yes I think it’s ok to be friends with an ex. It sounds like you’re overreacting and willl get pissed no matter what’s in those messages so I don’t blame. Him for deleting them.
I’d leave him. If being Facebook friends with his ex is more important than your feeling I’d be gone
Nope if he’s deleting messages there is a reason for it and if he respects being her friend more than he respects your feelings and your relationship then let him have her I would leave imo
Girl leave his ass. Its not hard.