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"I’ve been with my husband 10 years married for 4. We had a great relationship at the beginning. When we had our children everything’s changed. He has 3 older children from his previous wife and it’s been a living hell ever since we had children together. He doesn’t help with the kids never has then gets mad when they always want/ask me for help. He works and I’ve always stayed home. My children also do online schooling and I’m also in college doing online so things have been rough. We haven’t been intimate in over a month (I just don’t care to) then he gets mad when I don’t want to because I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. Well over the weekend after the children went to bed he tells me that this is bs and if he cheats it’s my fault because I don’t want to give it up. I’m at a loss for words and feel like I’m marriage is at it’s end because we’re supposed to be a team and I feel like it’s always been me."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"In most cases when you have to ask that question you know the answer. No matter what we say the truth is the only person that knows that answer is you."
"I say leave for ur own sanity. He only cares for himself"
"Marriage is all about working through the tough times, not looking elsewhere when things get hard. If he decides to cheat on you, then that’s on him and he’ll have to deal with the repercussions of his actions. It just goes to show you that he doesn’t love or respect you"
"If someone isn’t being a partner or a parent that’s not a marriage, it’s a contract. You’re not obligated to stay with anyone who makes you feel alone while you’re with them. You can be whole all by yourself. If he’s threatening to cheat on you that clearly shows he doesn’t love, honor or respect you."
"I wouldn’t give him the chance to cheat. He said he intended to… get a divorce. A person doesn’t get to blame someone else for their own indiscretion."
"Y’all need marriage counseling if you’re even going to try to stay together."
"He sounds very toxic. Doesn’t want to help or anything and then is blaming you if he cheats. I would leave him. If he wants to work on things and go to counseling you can try but I wouldn’t stick around."
"Love sounds like you’re already doing it alone. You may as well separate yourself from such a heavy weight on your being. You will feel so much better once you’re free of that."
"You’re in a relationship with a narcissist, run girl. Cause he will always find a way to blame you but never take any accountability for himself. The fact he won’t help raise his own kids, and then complains that they want nothing to do with him. Shows that he’ll never take any type of accountability. Xoxo"
"If he cheats he has no one to blame but his weak ass self. He wants his needs met but he’s not meeting any of yours. He needs to step in your shoes and vice versa"
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