Does My Child's Father Have a Right to Be in the Delivery Room?

Pregnancy
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QUESTION:

"m looking for advice on what to do regarding my child’s father being in the room for the birth. We’re not together and haven’t been since I moved out 4 months ago. I left because I know that’s not an environment I want to raise a child in. Not that he’s a bad person but we’re not good together. He ultimately agreed and never tried to reconcile with me or check in about my pregnancy. However, he has sent me messages saying he wants to be involved in his child’s life and sign the birth certificate or anything else needed for the baby. I think that’s great and I do believe he’ll be a good dad I don’t doubt that. My Problem is he wants to be in the room and I do not want him there at all especially since you can only have 1 person in the room these days I think my mother would be a better choice for me. I’m having a hard time telling if I’m being petty and emotional since the breakup or if my feelings are valid. Has anybody had a similar experience? What did you do? Does he have a right to be there?"

RELATED: I Just Found Out My Husband Cheated on Me, and Now I’m Very Conflicted About Whether I Should Allow Him Into the Delivery Room with Me: Advice?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"no one has the right to be in there except for you."

"You have the choice on who is in there. If you don’t want him or anyone it’s up to you!!"

"Your feelings are valid. I would pick my mom over someone I’m not in a relationship with (and I did)."

"You get to choose. He has no say."

"if you tell them you don’t want him in the room u have that option"

"If you think your mum is the best choice for you then you already have your answer"

"Your choice. Mom would be better. Birth is a very vulnerable state to be in, you want someone you’re 100% comfortable with."

"I was the mom that got to go in and watch my daughter give birth…it literally was the best most incredible day of my personal life. Choose your mom. She deserves to be there for that moment."

"You are going to be birthing a whole ass child, you need the person in there with you who is going to be the best support for you, if the best person for you is your mum then that’s who you have in there!"

"This is ur choice. U pick who is gonna make u comfortable. Don’t let anyone make u feel bad for that."

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

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Only you have the right to decide who is in there with you, if anyone at all. Some just want hospital staff in there. That being said, the easiest way around it since you are not living together, is not to tell him until after the baby is born. Just tell him you went into labor suddenly and so and so drove you to the hospital, and he is welcome to come see his child now, but the birth is over.

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I’m sorry but I don’t agree. I think he should be able to witness the birth of his child just as much as she does. Women are on this kick about my body bullshit but there was 2 people making that baby he most definitely should experience everything she does. Father before anyone else, should’ve thought about this before making a baby with him.

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He only wants to be there for the child not you! Your mom will be there for both!

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The mother and baby lives are intertwined, if she doesnt have the right support it can end badly for both. Dad is an outside entity. If a woman feels her mother is a better support person, thats the end of it. Dads dont have an inherent right to be there, he isnt the patient! Legally speaking, shes the patient and the baby isnt one until AFTER its born. Too many times a dad has shown up and only stressed mom out, or sat there and done nothing. Stress is more likely to lead to complications, including surgery. If you arent with the dad, its rather uncomfortable having him watching all going on down there. Hospitals dont say dads have a right to be there, for a damn reason!

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I would say no. He has no right before the birth, as it’s only your body he will see. After birth, yes. It’s not his choice, it’s the mother ( the patient) choice. Most of the time in the labor and delivery room will be watching and waiting with no one but you and then you will be naked from the waist down so I would think you can have anyone YOU choose to be there. In a legal sense, his right to visitation does not begin until after birth. Pick your mom