I’m 15 weeks pregnant with my first child. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, though it has not been without its struggles. We don’t have a lot of money, and my Dad has always looked down on my boyfriend for not being able to provide for me the way he feels he should (he has a stable job, it’s just not a get rich kind of job which is fine by me). Lately, my Dad seems to be warming up to him, but I’m still nervous that he still won’t react well to this news. I made him a Christmas ornament with my ultrasound picture and put it in a cute Christmas box to give him, and that’s how I’m planning to tell him. Do you think this is a good plan? Should my bf be there, or should I keep it just my Dad and me? Any additional advice would be welcomed!! I’m freaking out a bit!!
Do it in private, just you and your dad.
You’ll have to tell him your going to start showing… He loves you he will help.
it would help to know her age…
I was nervous to tell my family with my 1st for similar reasons and I had myself worked up for nothing. My family was excited and supportive and I’m sure your dad will come around as well. You may want to tell him prior to Christmas you’re going to be showing by then
I think that it would be a good idea for your boyfriend to be there when you give him the ornament. That way he can see that your boyfriend is supporting you emotionally through this and that he’s beside you. The ornament is a really adorable idea. I’m sure he will be happy to be a grandpa
I would definitely say to have your boyfriend there. Take him out to dinner…public place less chance of a argument breaking out. Then he will be able to go home and sleep on it. He will come around.
Sounds like a great idea do it with your bf there , you should definitely tell your dad how you feel and express your feelings. Either way the baby is coming he can either get with the program or miss out on some great moments!
If you are over 18 and living with your boyfriend then it really doesn’t matter if your dad gets upset or not. If you are happy and your bf treats you right and will be a good father then live your life.
This isn’t about your dad, this is between you and your boyfriend the last thing you want to do is make it uncomfortable for your boyfriend and your dad. Do this with you and him keep it private this is a moment you want to remember it should be a happy moment. Good Luck and congratulations.
Hunny I was married seven yrs n had a heck of a time n got pregnant nervous scared but 29 yrs later all’s good ;”) it’ll be ok every parent does want the best for their kids n needs to accept what we choose n happy with also !!
calm down and it would make a great present make him a shirt saying papa or grandpa
Great idea. All 3 be there
I would do this just you and him, especially if your daddys little girl. Take him out to dinner maybe. I dont know that i would wait till Christmas however
also if your boyfriend isn’t providing for you properly now would be the time to step up. Your dad has his reservations for a reason
Sweetie, my dad an I didn’t had a relationship when my son came to this world. He was the first visit at the hospital and always there for both of us. Don’t be afraid, he is your dad!
I think your boyfriend needs to step it up and get a better job or get a 2nd job to prepare for this child and hopefully you’re working too, can’t blame your dad for wanting better for you. Just know you made this decision and y’all better not ask him for a dime to help you two on a decision you both made. A child costs a lot of money which you two don’t really have. This should have been thought out better. Just don’t try to put any responsibility on your dad when he clearly warned you. And if you think he’s gonna be upset, why try to do it on a holiday like that? I think it’s an ignorant idea , but so are your choices. You wanted opinions you got mine. Good luck with that child and i hope u and the dad step up to give the child everything he or she deserves and more.
Are you and your b.f. open to getting married? That might soften the blow a bit. Also protect you and your new baby.
Don’t surprise him if they were never on good terms, and yes your boyfriend needs to be there because that shows that he is going to be the responsible dad he needs to be. Don’t surprise your dad on Christmas because just in case he isn’t happy the day won’t be spoiled, tell him Christmas eve this way if he’s okay with it, yal will have something great to tell everyone else. Good Luck, keep us posted.
Keep it as personal as possible. You and. Dad . The father need not be there. What can he add to the proceedings . Can you confide to a
Trusted female like an female mature woman. Give your dad time to adjust to the idea when you talk with him. Let me ask ? I do not know how old you are and the boy friend is ? This is a critical detail, age 16/17 vice 13. Understand??? Seek the counsel of an mature female relative who can support you and encourage you. You might have this third person present when you share the news. Why? It difuses any problems and reactions. You do not have to go it alone ! Furthermore, you must understand having this child will alter your path in life . Listen!! If Your present day “boy friend” in the near future leaves you alone to bear this child then what? Are you willing to give this baby a chance to live and keep it moving yourself?? A live birth is a blessing . Think about all of this ! See! Black Males these days are like the wind , here today and gone tomorrow. You must consider this as well. So dear person. Take a deep breath and think through all I have said . Having a child is serious business. Nevertheless, you need counseling. And the help of a mature female member like an aunt,grandmother and mother if so be. Do not go it alone. Bless you. And the child.
When my youngest told me she was pregnant she was 19 had a good head on her shoulders and I was so excited for her I also told her not to marry her boyfriend just because she was pregnant and I’m glad she didn’t they didn’t last for long baby what matters is that your happy your baby is healthy and happy your dad will come around and when he does you won’t be able to keep him away from you little one just be gentle with him when you tell him
if your dad is (probably correctly) concerned that your baby daddy isn’t willing or able to care for you guys, maybe you should look experience in the eye and either ask more of your baby daddy or ask your dad to accept that you will never grow up, always need him because you picked a guy that doesn’t have the motivation to step up and be an adult provider, or get yourself out into the world in a way that provides for you, your baby and your baby daddy so your dad can at least stop worrying that you’re going to end up on his pocketbook, on our dime or on the streets.
Personally I’d do just dad and you.
No one will ever be good enough for our kids but ultimately is their life. and if you’re both happy that is all that matters your baby is going to need a happy parents so your dad needs to get over it and accept the fact!! Cause I’m the end of the day it’s your little family
If you are living on your own and not asking your father for help monetarily or living off of him, then just tell him and you both should be there.
If you had gotten married first it would have easier.
It is good he is warming to him. It is beautiful how you are telling him. If he can see you are happy and loved and cared for that may soften the shock. If he gets angry just tell him gently how you love each other that your happy. Yes the baby is here and it will be a struggle but you know your boyfriend will do the best for you both. Best your boyfriend is there shows he is man enough to face him and be by your side. If he does get angry give him time. Once he sees and hold the little one his heart will melt. Would love to know the outcome. Congratulations to you both
Dad will always worry whether a man is good enough for his little girl and if he can provide for her. Being happy is the main thing with bf, you need to get your relationship in order first before a baby. BUT you didn’t do that and I can tell you, men don’t settle down because of a baby, unless they plan on staying. If he hasn’t started making plans for a better job and so on, it won’t make dad comfortable with bf. The ornament is a good way to tell him and yes, all should be present. It is what it is and you will be showing soon, no way of hiding it. Take what comes and work on a future for all of you. Good Luck!
Tell your daddy alone…and happy cry together.
I would give him the Ornament now, to put on His tree. That way it will soften the news; and won’t ruin Christmas if he takes it bad. He might need these next few weeks to get used to the idea.
Every parent wants the best for their.kids trust me he will adjust to the idea your going to have a baby me and my.husband didnt.have much either when we found out we were pregnant.but it turned out fine.youll Be fine lots.of love to.go around
Its not your boyfriend’s job to provide for you so that’s probably not the real reason your dad as an issue with your boyfriend🤔 if there’s already tension between your dad and bf then it’s probably a good idea telling him when you’re on your own or it maybe a Christmas you won’t forget for all the wrong reasons🤷
Congratulations! I know how stressful it can be getting past those first 14 weeks. I hope you’ve gotten past the morning sickness. Mine tried to linger.
Yes, and he will find out regardless so why not now. That gives him time to get himself prepared to be a grandpa. Also, what a sweet momento!
I think its a great idea! Im sure your Dad will be fine if he loves you as much as he should hes going to love his grandbaby just as much or even more Grandbabies are a blessing I know I have 13 love each and everyone of them
Much happiness and love to you and your family!
BF and you should do it together, and do it now… give the Christmas present you want to him at Thanksgiving and say it’s and early present for him… presentation is key… tell him it was a surprise to you both, but a blessing that you two are committed to seeing through together… good luck and congrats!
Being ur dad really is not real good with him just have u and ur dad …He mite not happy at frist and that is okay he will love that baby…
Better to tell him now than later. You’re old enough to be with someone and get pregnant, so you can handle this. I’m glad you’re having the baby; best wishes
My daughter is 22wks and having a girl.April 2,2020.Can’t wait to be a grandma.Hope the same for your family.
Well, that depends…how old are you? If you’re 18-21, yes by all means tell your father. BF can be there or not…his choice. Dad may not be thrilled but he’ll get over it eventually. If your 15-17 years old, unmarried and still living with Dad, telling him with your BF there might not be such a good idea. Dad’s are pretty protective of their daughters and always think of them as their “little girls”…he’s likely to be very, VERY angry. Not trying to be a downer here. Just speaking as a parent and grandparent. He’ll come around when he sees that precious grand-baby!
I really hope it works out the way you want. Grandchildren are going to give him such joy. However we as parents do want our children to be safe, happy and able to take care of themselves and yes, in that order. Your boyfriend should be present and show that he is committed to your new family and you.
Congratulations
I think maybe telling him just the 2 of you would be best and then give him the prezzie at xmas.
Explain how happy u are.
Your dad will support u just may be shock at first xx
Tell him by yourself and be honest he is either going 2 except this or not, if not, then, l would say 2bad it is what it is and l am having this baby whether you like it or not.
8 years ago today my ex husband told the family i was pregnant by saying can u pass the potatoes ?? We r having a baby!!with no. Warning
I wrote my dad a letter handed it to him and ran out of the house I was 19. Better to tell him now rather than later. Wish you all the luck with your pregnancy.
I’d tell him sooner rather than later, and I’d make it the 3 of you together. Your bf is involved whether he likes it or not. My dad was PISSED when I told him I was pregnant again too, but after 3 months of talking shit, putting me down and disrespecting me, hes over it. Good luck.