So my child’s father and I split up a few months ago and things were very hard he wouldn’t work with me on anything only against me. He used to let me call my daughter every night to say goodnight or ask how her night was the days she was with him since I agreed to 50 50 custody with out court but than he stopped letting me call her etc. I have never refused any phone calls of his to her and still don’t he has recently got a girlfriend within the last month and decided that he’s too busy with “work” that he can’t do 50 50 anymore I’m fine with it because more time for me I just wish he wanted the same. Since he brought his girlfriend around my daughter last week and didn’t tell me until after she was around her even though we had an agreement to meet someone if they were going to be around our child this was last Thursday she met my daughter And has only been around her 2 times and last night I found out my daughter was going to sleep at this girls house where idk where it is or anything at all so he’s jumping into his hard what do you think I should do? I get I don’t have a say when she’s with dad but I’m not comfortable with my daughter sleeping at this girls house when she barely knows her she’s only 3 and what if she doesn’t feel comfortable to ask to go to the bathroom or something or since she has a big dog at home she plays with what if this girls dog doesn’t like that she can play with my dog comfortable and gets bit etc
You can get the courts to agree with you that your daughter can only go to the fathers when he will be there and watching her. If he’s to busy and has to leave her with a girlfriend that you don’t know then she should be home with you. If the girl is babysitting while he works or something , then it is only normal and right for you to meet and talk to her. You wouldn’t leave your child with a stranger any other time so you don’t need to now.
You have a right to know where your child is sleeping but going back to court is your best option since he doesn’t have time for 50/50
COURT now so things don’t get out of control
Modify your current agreement with specifications. That way you are more comfortable with things. AND if he’s too busy for her take time away from him. Give him every other weekend or whatever to your liking.
You need a modification to the agreement if he’s “too busy” for 50/50 custody. Never, ever let your child go home with someone you don’t know and you don’t know where they live. This is total BS in todays world.
My court order says each parent is to notify the other parent if child is going to be staying at a different address. And also to notify if child will not be with the parent over night and other parent can have the child for that time. This is pretty basic. But I also wanted this because of his “work” schedule and he moves a lot. But if I were you. I’d first talk to him and if he can’t make a reasonable compromise I’d talk to an attorney
Ask if y’all can all meet at the park and just talk to girlfriend about your concerns and ask her to please keep an eye on her when they go to gfs house.
I am sort of in a bind with my ex over my boys , he’s back to name calling me to them and being quite aggressive on my doorstep- we have come to an agreement that they don’t stay over at his gf but he keeps them there til gone 10pm which is ridiculous and has started bringing them home later than usual - I am seriously considering getting a court order to ensure he doesn’t continue this behaviour, maybe you should do the same !
You always have a say about your child!! Go to the court house and ask what paperwork you need to file, if you can’t afford it upfront they sometimes will have a waiver that you can fill out to help with the costs of filing fees. Make sure to put in there that you want to know where your child is and who she is with and set on an agreed meeting place if need be and if you feel you need to then go for primary physical residence with shared custody… each state has different rules so you may have to look into how they do things. Good luck
Need to talk to dad… Arrange for adult meet up without kid. Kids dont need to hear adult convo. Make sure to keep personal feelings out of it as far as ur break up etc. Ground rules need to be said. She should be sleeping in ber own bed at mommy and daddy’s houses. Where SHE is most most comfortable. Not on someones couch or floor while daddys shacking up. Discipline comes from parents. Potty taking is parents only. Bath is parents only. Period! Then… When swap happens… Girlfriend needs to come so you can see your kids ok around her some. Phone calls by other parent happen every night. Designate a specific time. Or… Get cjild tqblet to play games… And make it where you can face time her on it when she’s with dad. And so he can too when with you. If not i phones amd i pads… Kids messenger. If dad wont listen about not staying at girlfriends house… Then going to have to get in writing about visitations… And have it in writing child stays nights at the parents residences only in kids best interest. If has a relving door of girlfriends… Can request in custody that overnight guests cannot stay on nights either parent residence… And i know it can ne written in paperwork cause I did it. Also had in paperwork that no bad mouthing of other parent in kids presence… That if no residence on their own that overnight visitation cease till gets own plave again. That if my ex had to work on his custody days… That his mother or sister could take the place. That girl friends werent allowed to pick up for dad from daycare. That child wasnt to stay with random new girlfriend cause changes so much. If dad had got called into work… And his mother or sister not available… Child brought home to other parent… Noy with gf/ babysitter basically. Parents and family only…
Just what expecting… Expect to do the same in return. ALWAYS have kids best interest main goal. And if dad got called into work and had to lose his normal scheduled day or time with kid… You be flexible in letting him make it up. Brand new gf can wait a day till baby goes home. Kids need structure… Consistency… Stability… Schedule… Familiarity… And her own bed… Nkt some vhicks couch or floor. And damn sure best not be in same bed with them! Kids get scared… And crawl in parents bed. That’s when cjkck can sleep on couch or go jome and sleep in her own homes bed. Half naked lady in dads bed… Or all way naked is inappropriate!
Sorry for the book. Been there years ago. Good luck. Keep your cool. Treat situation lime a business… Personal feelings out of it. Also… If hes nkt keeping her 5050… Then childsupport should be filed too. And can bring this all up then too and they will be ones wtite it. I never had a lawyer either. Judge agreed with ALL i was requesting. Along with dad going to parenting classes and that he must be present at dr appts and especially every therapy appointment so that dad knew all going on first hand and THAT family therapist could. Document EVERYTHING too.
Yes you can have a say. I pulled a police record on my ex’s new girlfriend… you have that right because your child is involved. She had a record. Took it to my attorney and it was set up IN THE DECREE that said girlfriend could NOT stay over or alone with kids. (She had spit on someone so it was an assault) but that was enough to give me leverage. You would be better off going to court and setting things up… IMO
The only choice you really have is to tell the other parent her father how you feel. Maybe it would make you feel a little better if you met the girlfriend? Because at the end of the day it’s going to be hard to control what he does when your daughter is with him so it’s better to make things civil and proper like meeting her and talking to gf letting her know how you feel as well.
That is blatant disrespect on his part, both towards you and his child. Having worked with survivors of abuse, you never just bring a stranger (regardless of gender) or a new person around a child and leave them at their home with out telling the other parent. That’s simply irresponsible and dangerous. It sounds like he lacks basic communication skills, all he had to do was at the very least, was make you aware of the situation. I would talk to your daughter and make sure she knows that you are always a safe person to talk to, even if she all ready knows it. Find out her comfortability around this new woman and if I were you, I would tell the father that you would like to meet this new person in his life. If he’s comfortable enough leaving your child with her, then there’s no reason why you two can’t meet.
My opinion is go with your gut.You re totally right about her not going to a complete strangers house especially so young.
That’s why a court order agreement is needed ; to specifically deal with issues like this . If you feel you child is not safe ; say so and document it for future reference!
It sounds like court is needed to be brought into this
There’s nothing you can do without looking petty or jealous. You can go get a custody order but you can’t stop him from bringing her around. Went through this.
Take him to court for custody so he doesn’t keep changing up on you guys.
I went through this as well when my son was little. He’s getting ready to be 18 in December. I can tell you from experience that battling about girlfriends is not going to get you or your daughter anywhere further. He’s still going to bring them around. The courts aren’t going to make him stop having his life just because you don’t like her. Your daughter is only three she doesn’t really know too much right now, I highly doubt your ex is leaving the baby there by herself. You’ll learn as she gets older, that you have nothing to do with her and her father’s relationship. He has just as much right to her as you do. He has just as much right to take her places to do things with her to take her to the doctor to take her to the school he has all those rights the same as you do. Mothers are no more important than fathers. And we don’t have different rights than fathers do. But good luck to you. Try to figure out a way to make peace it will be easier on yourself in the long run.
You need to go to Court. Get visitation, CS, everything in the paperwork. Have it written in the papers that each of you get a name, address, phone number of the perspective Significant Other. It should also be in the paperwork, that after a meaningful relationship has been established that the meeting of your “guys child” should then meet whomever you happen to be dating. Get that stipulated in the paperwork so he doesn’t introduce your daughter to a new flavor of the month, every month. If he isn’t going to put her first. Then you need to. Best of luck momma 
you got this