My son is starting to hate Kindergarten: Advice?
Hello mamas, I really need your advice and opinions, especially if your kid was in the same situation as mine. So my son is now three years old, he started kindergarten in August. He literally goes like two days, and he gets sick and stays home the rest of the week, which everyone his doctors told me its normal. The thing is until now he’s still crying there, mostly whining and nagging “mama will come, mama will pick me up”… now the crying is less, but he just won’t play or interact there with kids. He’s spending 6 hours just walking or looking at others and like waiting until I come. He’s my only child, and we don’t have a big family with kids here. My family is in another country, and we often fly there, but mostly, it’s just his dad, me, and him. Since he was born, I took him literally two times outside to parks and everywhere to play. But he’s extremely attached to me to the point where he just follows me THE WHOLE TIME at home, won’t play anything alone at all, won’t go to his room and play alone, and our apartment is like 70m2 !! He’s really smart, he already knows alphabets and numbers in 3 languages, we play lots of games… in the beginning, he was very good he started talking with kids, but they didn’t answer him or didn’t give him attention because they are young. Then he went two times to the other group ( 5 years old kid) because his teacher was not there so he was better with the other teacher and the older kids and when he went back to his group he started crying.m again. Then a new teacher came, and he was good with her, then she got sick, and he was with another one. Then she came back. All this happened in the first month, I think it made him confused and frustrated with all this change, especially that he’s the kid who hates change, he loves routine. He still likes the teacher of the older group, and when she’s next to him, he won’t cry, and he’s better with the older kids because they’re giving him attention, take care more of him. He still likes his new teacher; she’s very nice and sweet. So the problem now is that he doesn’t know how to play with the kids and he stays alone, he follows the teacher. When two groups of kids are together in one room, he starts again to cry because it’s like too much for him. He’s starting to love when they sing and dance. He learned to nap there, we’re starting potty training, and it’s going good, but he won’t play with anyone or with any toy there. He is just standing or sitting and looking. Lots of people are telling me we should talk with the doctor its possible that he has social anxiety because he’s also a picky eater, don’t like his hands dirty, love routine, follows me the whole day, terrible sleeper… and I already made an appointment to talk about it. But I’m so worried about him, and I feel like a shitty mom every time i drive him there, and I don’t know how to help him. Does anyone have any helpful advice? I’m too worried and crying myself every day
My son is starting to hate Kindergarten: Advice?
3 years old in kindergarten?
Sounds like theres something going on at school thats bothering him. Maybe a bully
He’s too young to be in school all those hours that’s probably why.
Way too young for school. That’s why.
It’s been a couple of mons so if there is no improvement, talk to his Dr abt a therapist that can help him.
Get involved in a few local mom groups bc there’s moms who are local and can do play dates. I’d start one on one for a while ans work up in numbers. Make sure you attend every bday party you can and have one inviting the same kids from school.
It’ll take time but he can work through this with the right tools.
Never heard of a 3 year old being in KG…
Separation anxiety it does happen he will eventually stop but why is your child in kindergarten at 3 my kids went to preschool and then kindergarten at age 5
3 is to young for kinder. Kinder doesn’t start till 5yr
3 in Kindergarten? My daughter teaches Kindergarten & there’s no way!!!
I swear Pre-K was four and Kindergarten was five? My grandson is 5 1/2 in Kindergarten. Social anxiety is a definite possibility. He also seems to show signs of being on the spectrum, but that could be because of the anxiety. He needs to be socially integrated. From what I’m reading, he rarely is around anyone else. Talk to the Dr and start taking him out places with other kids and people.
My daughter was an only child I put her in daycare at an early age which helped but maybe u could do a play and read time at a library that u stay with him I wish I could be of more help
My kids started at 3. Just give it time. He’ll adjust
Let’s just clarify what country you’re from bc in the USA children must turn 5 by a certain date when starting kindergarten quite literally if the birthday falls after a certain point of the school year you have to wait another year.
He may be too young for that kind of environment. But try and get him some interaction with kids outside of school. Maybe Tinkergarden or something like that.
Do u mean preschool? Cause most kindergartens don’t start until they are 5-6 years old… my son started preschool at the age of 3 he had a hard time at first but he finally started liking it he is on his 2nd year of preschool right now
normally kids don’t start school until they are 4 and already potty trained. He’s probaby over welmed, and is a mommy baby. He’s used to you always around. He may have to just start next year.
Whoa my son was 5 when he started kindergarten and I now think he was too young. Perhaps less school and more home time.
3 years old needs to be with his father or !mother boys more then girls.
If nursery is your kindergarden then when my daughter started nursery at two she done two five hour days and she hated it for the longest time she’s now three nearly four and goes four times for three hours a week and she loves it has in her words her school shoes and normal shoes hang in there he’ll get used to it x
My son started kindergarten (in Canada) at age 3 in sept and turned 4 two months later in Nov He is young yes but it is play based at that age… Try to give him time. He will be okay and the more he goes the more comfortable he will be.
Way to young in my opinion. He is crying out for you & waiting hours in the limbo of fear waiting for you to return. If it is not a necessity, I would stop & try again next year.
In Canada we have junior & senior kindergarten. It is very possible for a child to be enrolled at 3 years. As long as a child is 4 before December 31st, they start that September
He’s doesn’t seem socialized with other children and doesn’t know how to play by himself without you or someone entertaining him. Idk about kindergarten at that age, but playgroups or daycare might help. Something with less structure, just to be a kid.
3 is too young for Kinder… try part time
My grandson is 4 and in pre k 7 to 4 everyday .His brother went threw this I mean bad just give it time I know it’s sad and hard but he will get better …been there done that …now my grandson loves it …prayers to you and hubby …
It sounds like he’s not ready and very overwhelmed. Poor little dude.
Is there a half day program? My 3 year old is very similar and I started him in preschool for just half days so he can get accustomed to such a big change compared to being at home. Give him some time and talk to him about his day to encourage him to participate more. The teacher changes may be throwing him off too - those are big changes for his little world. I’d also see if you can have a one on one with his teacher about your concerns and see how she can help him adjust (either by reassuring him you’ll be back or setting him up with some of the kids to play with).
Does he HAVE to go to kindergarten now ? Sounds too young. If it’s possible keep him home. Invite a mom(s) to come and visit with child your son’s age. Let him get used to other kids in the safety of his own home.
Some are just more sensitive than others. All as unique as snowflakes.
3 year old in kindergarten whilst potty training? And I thought i was hesitant about putting my 4 year old daughter in pre-k. He needs to learn how to be a kid. He knows alphabet and numbers in 3 languages? Instead of kindergarten (esp his age) how about putting him in a daycare that has a Pre-K program? He needs to be with kids his own age, this is why I say daycare. And when he turns 4, he can be with the same kids, same environment, and have that Pre-K for him at said daycare. My daughter goes to a pre k in a main stream school (public school). But goes to a daycare for before and after school care whilst I’m at school. That daycare offers pre-k. There are other options in my neighborhood for pre-k schools. (Head start/child development; these options I strongly oppose because I did a 2 hour observation and did not like their practices and staff did not do anything to discipline the children. They just let them be) with my daughter being in a mainstream school, I am familiar with the school staff, school itself. What I’m saying in a nutshell is that you have to look for other options for him because 3 years old in kindergarten is too early for him. He should be with peers his own age. I strongly recommend daycare, especially center based because they have the age ranges (kids a certain age go here, others here, etc. With my daughters daycare, there is a Pre-K room)
In canada kindergarten starts at age 4…unless the child is turning 4 in that same calendar year, they will go the next year.
Maybe he is too young? Is he turning 4 anytime before the end of the year???
If yes…then justbkeep it going. He needs to get use to not being stuck to you. Since he wasnt socialized when smaller, it will be a little harder. Hes 3…he is fine. My kid never liked to get dirty, he didnt like interacting with kids his own age, he followed me around like a baby duck…but I kept sending him and let him get use to it. He is now 9 and is totally fine. A child who is not potty trained…in ky opinion…should not be in school. Are you sure its kindergarten and not pre-k???
Here in Ontario children start school the year they turn 4 so if school starts in September but they won’t be 4 until November they would still start the school year being 3 but kindergarten in Ontario also isn’t mandatory like grade 1 is now I would mention everything you said on here to your doctor and ￼ best of luck to you and your son
3 for kindergarten that’s normally age 5 or 6
Out school system has 3 and 4 year pre k and more at 3 class but potty trained fully is required.
I would think pulling him from this situation would only make it worse when he gets sent again. He needs exposure to other kids and change because if he doesn’t get that, again, it’s only going to get worse. From the sounds of it, he’s not happy because he’s not getting the attention he wants, and also needs to learn that he isn’t always going to be the center of attention. I would definitely talk to a doctor about anxiety issues but I wouldn’t pull him from the situation.
Kindergarten at 3? That’s probably the problem.
My son was like that until the summer he turned 7. Now he is ALWAYS playing with friends. Always social. He will grow out of it.
Honestly, just suck it up and leave him there. He knows you’ll cave and he’ll be home with you. 3 y.o.s are smarter than you think. The more he’s there the easier it’ll be n the more he’ll want to play with the other kids
Good God woman bring him home he is THREE, he is too little to be gone from home like that
It must be a US thing but we have preschool from age 3-5
Where do you live that you can go to kindergarten at 3 years old?
In Va. no child can start kindergarten before the age of 4 and they have to be specially tested and approved for it. School is based on socialization skills as well, 3 year olds do not have the same emotional or social capacity that 5 year olds have. I took my kids out of pre school for getting sick every week, to me that’s not normal, to me that means the classroom and other children are very germy?! Once they started kindergarten I had no issues with illness. There is no reason you need to force a 3 year old to go to kindergarten. If he isn’t ready, he isn’t ready. Wait til 5, like most people do.
He isn’t mature enough for school. Keep him home another year.
My daughter hated kindergarten. Turns out her teacher was pretty awful to the kids. She now loves 1st grade. Does he like the teacher?
Let him take a blanket or a cuddley toy in with him that smells of you. Hopefully that will help him feel asthough you are there. I’d also speak to the staff about him maybe taking a toy in from home. I’m thinking because he is comfortable with things from home he may ask another child to play with him. (with it been another reminder of home) hope everything gets sorted for you both. Good luck x
This is all normal. I was preschool teacher and we always have a few students that have a hard time for awhile especially if they are the inky child. It’s separation anxiety which is nothing to worry about. I know it’s hard but the more days he spends at daycare the more he will get used to being there and eventually he will start to open up. I’ve seen many students of mine who were like this blossom into a social playing butterfly. You have to give it time and be persistent.
Maybe try playdates with other kids from his class? It may give hkm more confidence for school if you are around as he builds those social bridges. I know that people try all sorts of things to inspire confidence even letting their child bring a fun object or wearing a halloween costume to school. The first 3 weeks my daughter wore blue eyeshadow until she got comfortable in the environment and still on somedays when she gets there she cries. Just keep encouraging, do not stick around at drop off, try to build up school as something fun
Maybe try another Kindergarten? I had this issue with mine a few years back he basically cried the whole day at his first kindy so I moved him to another and he’s been there almost 3 years, the first day there he went at sat with One of the teachers and played so I knew it was a good fit
Mine did 3 days 3 hrs per day of preschool at 3 yrs old. Well they have fall birthdays so they were almost 4 then 5 days 3 hrs per day then kindergarten at 5 ( almost 6) they did full day public school kindergarten
He may have sensory processing disorder. My son was diagnosed at age 3 and is now 6 and the same way. Granted, we also have other diagnoses too. But I think starting with his pediatrician is a good idea. It may also just be separation anxiety as well. He may just not be ready yet.
my son has social anxiety disorder and a sensory disorder and he has all the same things you’ve listed. It’s worth chatting about with the doctor x
Maybe hes not ready and he should be in pre school not kindergarten.
My daughter started at 3 also. Sometimes maybe you can sit in or volunteer at his classroom. Perhaps invite children for playdate at a park with their parents. Get involved in the school activities. See if that will help. I think the pediatrician is a good idea. He might be to advanced for children his age. My daughter was very smart, knew how to count in 3 languages, and the alphabet in 2. Good luck
Sounds like he has separation anxiety. You gotta wean him from the nipple…
He might be bored with his class. If he’s 3 and already knows his letters and numbers, then he’s really smart. If he was actually learning something at school he might like it better.
With out experience he won’t succeed. My child is three and was denied preschool so I’m working with him myself. My kids have been involved with playgroups though because I wanted them to get socialized but it’s not always positive just like school. It does seem weird he goes to kindergarten at three because that’s when preschool starts here for two years. My son is still on a waiting list. Most likely he won’t go until 4. If he’s having such a hard time you have two choices. Take home out and get him socialized in other ways and teach him basics yourself. Reach out to the community. You can teach him number and letter recognition or you can keep him there and let him get use to the routine of things there. I have 5 and not all were willing and happy at school to begin with. I worry about my three year old because he is extremely clingy to me. I’m working on that now with playgroups and story hour at the library. Find your resources and do what’s best for you both. At one point you will have to let him be upset until he realizes this is life now and be happier with it. And he will.
If he does have to be in kindergarten at this age maybe try having him home with you and focus on socializing him. Maybe he will try with other children if you are around too. It’s probably overwhelming for him to go from just you for 3 years to a room full of loud children. Good luck
My 5 almost 6 year old just started kindergarten. Been a couple month’s and he still cries when dropping him off or talking about him going to school. He also does great while he is there though FINALLY. Took some time since he is VERY much a mommas boy. We also take our kid’s out young to socialize even if it’s new playing with other kids with them at park. They need to learn this. It’s all pretty normal. Even more so if your son is 3. My oldest son started prekindergarten at 3 since he is delayed has ASD and other stuff. It was pretty hard for him. As for being sick all 3 of my kids missed a lot of the first year. Around alot of kids like that it’s totally normal.
Is he in preschool bc kindergarten is for 5 year olds where I am. Both my kids went to preschool and did great. But come kindergarten and 1st with my son he started being sick daily. Would fight me all the time. Would always be in trouble. Finally I switched schools and now he has a male teacher and is thriving.
He is manipulating the situation…sounds like he has a little separation anxiety when he is away from you but he needs to learn how to adapt to changes it won’t do him any good to cave in mamma’s gotta be tough sometimes so they learn
Weeewwww I had a student like this before. Check on his teacher she’s going through hell lol. Bring her a thank you gift or something
3 years old ??? In kindergarten???
Six hours is a long time to be without mom for a three year old
3 and in kindergarten, I’m in Ohio and you gotta be at least 5 but no older than 6…
Monitor a class…see if there are problems going on…
Maybe she doesn’t live in Usa!
In Romania you start when you are 3 and usually go for 3 years in kindergarten!
OP meant daycare. She’s from a. Different country.
Maybe find a preschool or if that’s the same as kindergarten by you where it’s less hours like 2-3 couple times a week. It sounds like it is too much for him now better to slowly ease him in. I would also try to talk to him at home and guide and explain to him and try to encourage and praise every little good and accomplishment he makes. Is his father in the picture too?
My kids were in day care from 6 weeks for 10 hrs at a time. It’s OK. The more people you both spend time with, the easier it will get & the more comfortable your son will be around others, so spend time with other children & adults & don’t be a helicopter parent.
Sometimes kids cry when mom leaves, but are just fine once they get interested in something.
Yes, get checked for sensory issues, but sounds like he just needs to learn how to socialize. No worries.
he could very well have social and separation anxiety… it sounds like he could also have a mild form of autism. i would def. talk to your doctor. and maybe see if u can spend a day there with him. maybe if he sees you playing with the other kids and encouraging him to come join in that could help…
I live in canada and my child started at 4. But his birthday is july so assuming her child just has a later birthday because we registered at 3 year old. Just saying for those few lol.