Everyone tells me my husband is emotionally abusive: Thoughts?

So my question is, what do you do when everyone around you sees my husband is emotionally abusive. And what I mean about is I ask a simple question, and he snaps saying I don’t ask stupid questions or yells at you cause you didn’t get one thing done. Mind you have a ten-month-old daughter and work full time, he does go to school Monday thru Thursday and works Friday Saturday and Sunday. But it seems like he gets done with classes early and all he wants to do is play video games. Sorry this is all over the place right now I’m not okay, and I need help.


Sounds abusive. Seek counseling!


Counseling for sure! I am so sorry

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Sounds like you need a good lawyer to file for divorce… you don’t deserve to be treated like that and should leave because yes that is emotional abuse and will not get better

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Yes that’s emotional abuse. A significant other isn’t a punching bag no matter how stressed you are

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Sorry but… this IS abuse and one day, it could turn into PHYSICAL abuse if you don’t take action. This isn’t okay!


That’s emotional abuse.

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That’s abuse you are not a door mat

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You don’t go to couples counseling for abuse. You get the fuck out. Period.

Leave, it won’t get better, he won’t change.


That’s definitely emotional abuse.


if “everyone” is telling you the same thing then typically it’s true (even if you dont see it yourself) … time to go


When he says these things, does it hurt you? Does it make you feel like you’re doing something wrong?
If yes, then yes.

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Im sorry but I dont know… should you have to go to counseling for respect? Why are they with you to talk to you like that that’s the point of sharing your life your with them to be happy and enhance your life not feel abused and treated with disrespect


It does sound like it. I see that you don’t see it yet. I also hear you excusing his behavior. I don’t think you are near being ready to leave, though you should. I would definitely seek counseling, let them help you sort through it, see things clearly, and move forward.


That’s emotional abuse he sounds like a narsasist making you hold yourself to a standard to get this and that done but when he has extra time he doesn’t try to do the same


Not enough info here to go on. There’s intentional emotional abuse and then there’s projection of their own pain unintentionally.

You…move out and get a divorce

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Yes. You don’t deserve to be treated that way

I was in this position but everyone around me was saying I was too sensitive. I stayed way too long & was forced into DV counseling which taught me what emotional abuse is. Minimizing, gaslighting etc. My advise is to leave. Find a DV counselor. They try to work with him too. Then go from there.

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That’s how my ex was with me. It hurt and I second guess everything I do to this day. Its best you leave. It could get worse


If you feel sick or angry nervous when you are with him…it’s abuse and you will never be enough


Has he always been this way? It sounds pretty rough. I would call him out on it. Before out right leaving, make plans to go to a friend or family’s home for awhile, with your child. Tell him you’re not going to allow it anymore and when he decides he wants to be a decent husband & father, you will come back with the promise of therapy.


Yep, sounds like emotional abuse. If you dont want your kiddos to grow up thinking that is ok or normal, you need to get out of that situation


What do you do when he does that? You definitely need to tell him that you don’t appreciate it and it’s not acceptable to you. If it continues you will leave. He doesn’t change, then you leave.

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That is abuse. F*** HIM! You are your own person he needs to back the F*** up and RESPECT YOU. I would tell him to choose between is S*** attitude or you because the both of them can not fit in the same house. His ego is too big for your marriage. NEVER forget your worth.

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A man should never yell at you unless you.

From someone who is still trying to heal 3 years following a divorce after 8 years of that abuse and then some, leave. It won’t get better and it will destroy you as a person.

They say if you have to ask you already know the answer. Well the house work runs both ways, so does it all. It’s no more your responsibly than his. I would start making plans for a change. People care about you or they would not have said something. Good luck.

If you’re aware you’re all over the place and need to keep it together for your child…then you’re needing to follow your instinct. The real guy is coming into focus , this is how it is going to be until it gets worse. If you dont like your situation, then change it. He has enough power over you to want to bring you down, and now you’re questioning yourself. Be done while you still can. Be independent from him, live your life.

If that’s not emotionally abusive to you? How much further does he have to go for you to realize he’s an immature douche?

Counseling. Talk to him

If you dont know what to do who does

Steve Harvey says women deserve more. We are queens and hes a wise man. If your man doesnt treat you with anything but respect, throw the whole man away. You can and will be better off alone than with the wrong company. Just my blurb of thought

Look up what narcissist is. Almost sounds like he has those traits. There is no cure for it. My daughter is going thru this right now. Has to stay until their lease is up, then she is gone.

Definitely emotional abuse.

Easy way to see it. Look at your 10 month old daughter. Imagine she’s grown and her husband treats her that way.

Does it make you smile?

No? Then it’s abuse.

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You’ll see it eventually.

Honey time to either tell him to stop,and get therapy,or kick him out.Do you want your daughter growing up around that?

Get out and dont let it destroy you.anything is better than that. There is always a way.

It your man is abusive to you get out. No one deserve that from
Any one

You leave that’s what you do. You get yourself into counseling get your daughter away from it before she thinks it’s ok for someone to treat her like that and you move on. It might be difficult and suck but in the long run it will be worth it. My husband never talks to me like that and I’m not saying that he’s the best guy in the world or perfect or anything like that but he doesn’t talk to me like I am an idiot or get on me for not doing something. If he’s mad at me we talk or have a fight but he doesn’t belittle me or make me feel like crap. That’s not ok hunny, please get help

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Don’t leave as yet, work on your relationship without trying to find his fault there after talk to him ask him how he can help around the house when he’s back from classes. You can talk to him in a relaxed atmosphere prepare some good meal take the three of you out for a picnic. Also work on your self, look good feel good spend more loving time with your child everything will work out well.

Emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse. He has some unresolved issues. Not only you are being effected. So is your daughter.


you need to tell him to get it together or get the hell out abuse is abuseno matter the form and if he talks to you that way he will do the same to the child. get outnow

Sounds like you are working and doing everything at home by yourself. First sit down and talk about the problem write everything down so you don’t forget anything. See where his head is at. Maybe he can see you need some help. But speaking to you in a disrespectful way is wrong. Your kids will pick up on it also and will speak to you that way too. There is no excuse for him speaking to you in a abusive way I don’t care how stressed he is.

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Video games are very addictive, and can and do trigger the brain to become abusive under certain circumstances, try taking a game from a child and watch what happens, no excuse whatsoever, but he needs to seek help with his attitude, otherwise it may get worst over time… God bless you. I hope you are able to make the right decision for you and your daughter

That is DEFINITELY emotional abuse, and how you phrased it tells me that you know what he’s doing is wrong. Toxic people don’t like to admit their actions are wrong and your 10 month old will grow up thinking that it’s normal for men to treat women this way. Or worse, she will pick up the abusive habit herself. Ask your family if you can stay with them until you are stable enough to get a place of your own and remove yourself from the relationship.

Do you feel like he is? If so, have you tried talking to him? He could be over stressed and taking it out on you. Communication goes a long way sometimes.


I’m so sorry :broken_heart:, it’s clear your not happy and he isn’t either. He sounds like he is abusive. So why are you there with your child? Do you want your child to grow up through this? I pray you find strength :pray:


Wounds on the outside heal, on the inside they fester. I went through it with my first husband. I didn’t want to see it, I wanted the perfect family and leaving would take that away. When he went from emotional / verbal abuse to physical is when I finally saw it and left.

Ever hear the expression “Love is blind”? The closer you are to someone the harder it is to see the red flags! I’d make Google my friend in.this situation. Look up emotional abuse and relationship red flags. Knowing what you’re dealing with will help you make the right decisions for you and your daughter

This is not a good relationship. Think of yourself and your daughter.

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Big child! Wants to be put first and get his way and motherly love from someone he’s supposed to show love and affection to. Treating you this way is a reflection off who he is, your doing an amazing job holding it together with ur baby and job. Ask yourself what you really need him for. Love is difficult but that treatment he’s giving you isn’t love. You deserve so much better :heart:


There is no excuse for his behavior. Tell him to get help and change or get out. I recently left an abusive marriage of 10 years. The first thing my son said to me was “Thank you, Mom.” Don’t wait. He will NOT change. Get out now and don’t look back.

Yes. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical ! Time to tell him to clean up his act. Or leave. It’s 2020 sis, we’re not putting up with abuse anymore :woman_shrugging:t2:


My first husband was emotionally abusive, I didnt realize it until he becsme physically abusive. Sometimes we cant see it.

If he is willing try to get counseling. Or maybe talk with his mom or close family member?

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That does sound like emotional abuse to me. Maybe he’s bipolar? Working & going to school isn’t a good excuse to treat u like shit. He sounds a bit like a kid too, I love playing video games & watch anime but I always make sure to put my family 1st before my hobbies. I dated someone long time ago that would cuss & yell at me for anything I did.

You already know whats going on. Hence why you sent this message of concern for you and your family.

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I don’t understand this question, why do we as women always hold onto something we know is bad for us, think about your child is this the life you want for her#knowyourworth

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Talk to him go to counseling

I think he may be abusive but you need to communicate with him maybe he’s stressed out n needs some help. And men usually don’t know how to ask. I say you talk to him and maybe get some couples counciling. That’s if you want to work on your marriage. I do believe after some time if not addressed it could be toxic for both of you. It could progress to physical abuse. So God :pray: bless you and give you strength to figure out what’s best for you and your family. Working on your marriage is best for everyone involved :blush:

He needs to man-up and realize that YOU and your BABY are an infinite Full-time job and YOU never get a break.

Get help from an expert seems youre not getting what you need as well…it may be something deeper

I have been through that situation. And eventually I built up the courage to stand up for myself. Emotional and mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse it leaves scars, nightmares and in some cases so much more

You already know the answer to your question. From personal experience. It never gets better. It will actually get worse and probably turn physical. You need to get out asap. I know it is hard but it is so much better on the other side.


If he loves you then he would watch the words that come out his mouth or take time to relax from a long day and think before he takes it out on you

I THINK you dont out up with it and leave

Nooooo girl set his ass straight. Open your mouth. Next time he starts to yell at you like he’s crazy you need to act crazier. Some little boys need to be put in their place. If he gets mad you go get a hammer and smash his game console. Some people might not agree with what I’m saying but who cares . I’ve been married for 22 years. When me and my husband first got married he thought he was going to talk to me like I he crazy I wasn’t having it . He didn’t realize he was dealing with some who came from the bottoms. After I came out my face he stepped back cause he didn’t realize he was talking to his wife that way. He grew up that day. After that if he still being mean to you I would get your stuff your daughter and leave

What would you tell your daughter in this situation?


It’s ok not to be okay

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He is not a good or responsible husband and father
If he cant change and be a real man, you need to divorce him. You don’t want your child around that type of relationship because it’s not normal or healthy.

Please try counseling before you walk away. My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs now and we were emotionally abusive to each other. If his mother is still alive ask her if she will talk to him about it. My marriage got better when my mother in law told him from her hospital bed that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he has never forgotten what she told him and when he starts getting stupid I remind him that I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he straightens right up.

He sounds like a narcissist