My ex and I split we had one child together. He gets our child on weekends. He always says he never gets enough time with the child but I’ve offered every other week which he turns down because he doesn’t want to pay daycare. A while ago he had the child a few extra days and it seemed the child was always with the grandparents. How would you feel if they also let their sibling have the child over night? I mean if they’re asking for extra time but not even there what would you do? We never went to court or anything.
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Give extra time I mean other family on dad’s side is important to whether dad is there or not .
As long as the child is happy
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Other family is important to so i agree with the dad to be fair xxx
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I think he should be able to do what he wants with them. It’s his time
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Maybe he wants extra time because the time he does get is taken up by family members who also wanna see the child? Let him have extra time man
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I think it’s great that he wants to take the child more…there’s plenty that don’t even want to see their kids at all never mind take them for extra time
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Maybe that is thee only time they get to see their grandchildren
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I would ask him what he means by more time. I totally get where your coming from but I also see his side to. Does more time mean dinners during the week does he mean Thursday through Sunday. I would ask him what more time means to him and then come to an agreement.
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Well maybe just talk to him and let him know that if he plans to have yalls kid with one of his family members you should know abt it so u know who to contact just incase of anything and also. I mean he could just be asking for the kid in general bc of mom or dad constantly reminding him. I’m in this boat in a sense but my b.d is a disrespectful p.o.s who favorites our first clearly over our second and so hes on supervised visits rn and he has shown how.much he doesnt care. His mom comes to the supervised visits and will play and be around the kids waayyyyy more then he does. He barely pays attention to them he would rather sit there trying to impress. A girl he didnt even introduce to his kids 
I’d definitely talk to him abt these things tho and also if he wants more time he shouldnt be saying no to what your offering him due to not wanting to pay daycare like. That’s kinda gross. That’s his kid to who he claimed to want to see more often he should do what is necessary to get the things he wants.
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What the other parent does on their time is not the primary parents business. Let your child spend time with his parent and other family. Why do moms think they have the right to be controlling over every situation.
Give more time. Every time my child was with his dad his parents and sister wanted to see him so there wasn’t any time for just them. If he doesn’t want a whole week maybe try a mid week visit like after school if they’re school age until like 6 or 7 that night
Could the grandparents be the one putting him to it? If you think it is maybe you could talk to them. It maybe there only grandkid.
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Sounds like she is offering extra time that he doesn’t take you up on his offer and when he does have the child he doesn’t see the child so how is this her fault maybe he should make more of an effort 
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When I experienced something similar, I pulled back on the extra time. My son didn’t get fully comfortable with his dad until he was 3, and that was stretching it. His father and I had a long distance relationship my entire pregnancy. After the birth, he didn’t see him again until almost 6 months. His visits were inconsistent and he didn’t engage very much with our son. It’s like he was just there to take pictures to “prove” he was around. So I pulled back on extra time and favors. Luckily things are good now. I hope you guys reach a peaceful medium 
What he does or where he goes on his time as long as child is not in danger is none of ur business. His family on the other side is just as important as urs. If he’s working or has something important 2 do where he can’t take the child then what’s he 2 do?
If the child enjoys spending time with the grandparents then leave it alone. I let my Wasband have our daughter whenever he wants her (which isn’t often). I leave it up to my daughter and if she doesn’t want to go then she doesn’t. I do recommend getting custody under the courts - without it, it is too easy for him to take it from you. Custody needs established to protect you.
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I made sure to put in writing if ex doesn’t have kids, I get them or have to give ok for others to take them.
50/50 should be the standard.
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You guys both can have 3 days a week and split the extra day so it’s even. His family might want to see him and keep him over night. I LOVED staying the night with my cousins.
If he wanted to see him more he would
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As long as the child is not in harms way, let him have some extra time. Maybe his parents are wanting to see their grandchild. If your not feeling comfortable with a flip floppy schedule just go to court and get it in writing♥️ best of wishes momma!
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I think it’s important the children have both a mother and father in their lives. When it’s his time with the child he can decide what he wants to do. You do what you want on your time with the child. You both don’t need to check in with eachother on your times. Be thankful the father is there. I got full custody of my children when I got divorced and now there dad has not seen them in 3 years. I even offered him 50/50 custody. 
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I’m a little confused by the comments saying just give him more time. She offered that but he didn’t want to pay up for childcare. He should be paying for childcare if he wants more time. I don’t think this momma is being unreasonable. Yes it’s odd to know that the child is spending more time with his family than him, but maybe that’s because he’s either working or he’s trying to split the time he does have with the child with his family too, which is not a bad thing. The issue is, what more time can she give if he’s not willing to pay for childcare during the week? She should not have to pay for childcare when the child is with him. He wants more time, then he is responsible for that time. You shouldn’t have to give up more time and still pay for it too. You aren’t getting weekends with your child. Just doesn’t seem fair to you either. If he wants more time, split it even, you both get 7 days, you both get the week and weekend. He is responsible for childcare and other expenses on his week/weekend. That is about the fairest scenario.
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You can go to court and ask for extra time with your child win this and then never use the extra time and send your child back early when you do have them. He doesn’t want more time he is just playing head games.
If he wants the kid for more time and the grandparents are babysitters instead of day care that shouldnt be a problem
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What’s it to you, really? He took the kid extra days and needed someone to care for the child while at work. Get over yourself 
at least he left the kid with reliable relatives vs alone. Perspective. No court will allow you to control the other parents life. Was the kid harmed? If you answered no, let it be.
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I wouldn’t do anything you gotta remember the child has a whole other family besides yours and surely his grandparents and aunt can see him. The more love your child has the merrier 
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His family probably wants to see the child also!! My kids LOVE staying over with their Grandma, and their cousins as well. So I could see how fitting everyone spending time with the child can leave not much time for dad. However if you have offered everyother week which is 50/50 and he has declined, I’m not sure what more you can do.
Does he have a different weekday off work he could pick him up for? Maybe have a once a week dinner after school with dad?
That’s about all you can do.
Grandparents want to bond to.
The child is more than just yours and his. He has siblings and parents who also want to spend time with them. If hes trying to balance the limited time hes got with spending HIS time with the kid AND let his parents and siblings spend time with them too then yeah, I can understand why he wants more time.
Set up a formal arrangement… and why is he not forking out for childcare costs anyways?
If you are split he should be paying half of daycare as well as child support. 
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If you end up going to court for this make sure it is in paperwork to have first right of refusal meaning that if he can’t care for the child then it comes back to your home.
I had my son every weekend from Friday school pickup to Monday school drop off. Because of work, I saw my son for a total of about 18-22 waking hours on average the whole weekend. I’d be cranky and exhausted a lot of the time. It really can feel like you don’t have enough time, even if to the outside world you “do”.
I saw my son for more time and more quality time, ironically, when I moved out of state. I got a better job, which allowed for time off when I had my son on school holidays and I would have weeks of uninterrupted time with him that calculated to much more time a year together.
Some people can’t fathom being “away” from their kids and weighing better personal options, but sometimes proximity closeness isn’t closeness at all.
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You offered he chooses not to so that’s on him. Let it go. It’s fine if the child is at his grandparents house but he can’t complain he doesn’t get time then. He needs to make time. No your responsibility.
Maybe suggest the every other week thing but suggest that the grandparents babysit instead of daycare?
He deserves more time with the child…extend the hand and do everything in your power to make the CHILD happy!
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Oh gees just take him to court for Maintenance already.
What’s wrong with the other side of the family seeing the child?
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Honestly unless there is a valid reason to fear for your child’s safety with the grandparents, spending time with them should be considered a bonus.
Your child’s family is more then your side of the family and their dad. Helping to facilitate a healthy support system for your child is part of your job as a parent.
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I mean if he doesn’t want to pay childcare then tough. Id lay it out straight when he asks
Go to court if you don’t know what to do. 
Say these things to him and ask him the why does he want extra time when he’s not even spending the existing allotted time with him?
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Why are you referring to your kid as “the child” instead of our kid/child?? Honestly I wish my hubs side of the family wanted to see our kids more but they don’t. So feel blessed.
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The issue is when the child is with the other parent that is their time and their choice who the child spends time with. I’d have no issues with my kid seeing his family and spending time there. Maybe relatives want more time with him too
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Lawyer up. Go to mediation and get it all in writing. All legal so everyone knows what to expect from each other. Its worth the 5K retainer if it saves added stress for the next however many years till they’re 18+.
From someone who has no parents around grandparents are be worth gold to kids.
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That kid is spending time with there family not just dad. I see absolutely no problem unless the family is toxic. I understand dad not wanting to pay daycare so have him pick up the kid after work and drop off before work with his family.
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It is her buisness what is happening to the child when its not with her she is the mum who has it all the time ,
Regardless of who’s side of the family, aunt’s, uncle’s, grammas, COUSINS, they all should get to see the child as long as it’s healthy. As a mother of two young kids, they miss that connection when it’s gone. It’s noticeable.
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