I am a mother of 3. I am 40 and I was in a relationship with a man for 3 years. He is 6 years younger than me. I have a business and a great job, he has helped me setting my business financially and helped me funds my studies in the past. He was great with my kids, supported us financially even though I work myself.
Cut long story short he was incarcerated for 6 years and I met him after he was out for a month. He has all the good qualities like I mentioned above. He is gentle, caring, attentive to me n my kids, helped me picking them up to and from school some days when I have to work back, spoiled my kids buying them clothes without me asking, spoiled me. So much good he’s done for us.
But there is one problem that keeps on happening, the going out. When there’s boys night out he would be out till all hours. Not on regular basis but enough to break us. I believe that if I’m gonna keep putting up with it it will continue forever. I’ve been cheated in the past so I have trust issues. N I am also understanding that he’s been away for 6 years and for that reason I let it slide so many times, I know he’s not cheating on me because when he’s out he gets so drunk that he forgets he has a d&$@. Lol and happy drunk never violent. We had a big blow up and he promised to change, which he did, by coming home at midnight, but the drinking still continues. The way I see it , he’s promised to change 3 things but only delivering 1 (coming home early) So I told him I am done. Not to mention he wanted to start a family. I am 40 running my business n have 3 kids (10,8 and 7) there is no way in hell i be trapping myself with a new horn with his behaviour. So I ended it. He was shattered because he said he is trying and I’m not willing to budge.
Because we live together we agreed until he finds a place (finding a place Is a nightmare due to Covid) where nothing is available atm. He will continue to stay with us and slowly moving . We broke up thu n I don’t him I don’t care anymore n he went out to see his friend. DID NOT COME HOMe TILL SATURDAY!!! No message no phone call.
I was livid but at the same time accepted if that we are not together anymore. My gut feeling was at all time high at this stage so while he was asleep I checked his phone n saw he’s been chatting to another woman. I can’t see what they were talking about as it was on snap chat. Checked his contact list n her number was stored in his phone.
I confronted him . He said she added him randomly on Snapchat n to took her number. This made me so angry! Why is there a need for him to take her number when they already chatting on snap chat??? I kicked him out that night, n he did apologised saying he knows it was too quick but it was meaningless as he was hurt.
He is trying to win me back . I love him very much but at the same time I value my peace n myself. After 3 weeks of not seeing each other (we still talk). He is now sort of stepping back and not trying anymore. I have said this to myself if i mean the world to him he will move mountains for me he knows where I am.
I am not sitting waiting for him to act right.
What im asking is HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS?
Im so crushed the fact that he just moved on that quick!! He’s no longer talking to the other woman. And I just can’t move past this.
Please help me.