Ex Still Wants to Be Friends, I’m Still In Love

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QUESTION:

"Why would my Ex boyfriend still want to remain my friend? He says he has no feelings for me, yet he hugs and kisses on the lips and we go to eat as friends. We have been broken up for 3 months but have not stopped talking and he insists he wants to be my friend, we are neither dating anyone seriously… I'm still very in love with him… Your thoughts please?"

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Some people don’t mind being friends with their ex. Honestly if it were me I would stop communicating & seeing each other. It may feel okay to him but it’s obviously very different for you, & it’s not going to help you at all. Especially when he still somewhat acts like you’re dating with the kisses. I would be honest & tell him you still have feelings for him and you think it would be best if you stopped talking until further notice"

"Because he wants the benefits of being around you without any of the responsibility of a relationship. A true friend wouldn’t take advantage of your feelings and play with your head like that."

"For your mental health I would cut him off."

"He doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either… TOXIC… cut him off . Start telling him you have a date make up a new guy see how he reacts"

"Let him go. Move on. Do not allow him to keep you on a string"

"Let him know you need time to heal and you will contact him if and when you are ready."

"He is keeping you as a backup while he looks for someone else. If he wants to be only friends then set boundaries. Friend stuff only. You can’t have your cake and eat it too."

"He wants you in his life, but is no longer interested in being with you romantically. You need time to heal and move past him before any kind of friendship can be had. Once you are sure you no longer want to be with him, then maybe you can be friends. Until then it’s just going to be torturous for you so don’t do that to yourself. Also, he may be doing things like kissing you on the lips to keep you hooked and thinking there is a chance. It’s like an ego boost for him to know you’re still pining for him. If that’s the case then he’s really toxic and I wouldn’t be friends with him ever."

"He cares about you but doesn’t love you anymore…but there is someone who will love you fully put your all into that when it comes"

"You are only going to get hurt trying to be friends with him. He most likely doesnt know you still love him a lot or he does know & isnt taking your feeligs into consideration. You should tell him not to kiss or hug you if hes doesnt want to be with you. be firm about it. Seems like he wants to be friends with benefits and by the sounds of it that probably isnt what you want."

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

Because your still in love with him, and he wants nothing but a friendship (or friends with benefits without the commitment), you should cease all communication with him until you have completely dealt with your emotions for him. You are doing yourself a disservice by not setting boundaries with him (or anyone). As the old adage goes, “you teach people how you want to be treated”, so if you allow him to continue this path you can blame no one but yourself.

Best of luck.