Feeling like a defeated single mom

I feel like the worst mom right now. My son demanded dinner and wanted to eat on the couch where he had built a pillow fort. I told him to fix the pillows so we could sit down together and instead he started screaming, crying and throwing the pillows on the floor. I knew he was tired and so was I. He wouldn't stop screaming. I couldn't hold my anger anymore and threw his plastic plate, that I held in my hands already, on the floor. He stared at me in disbelief and kept on crying. I was out of my mind and yelled at him. I haven't snapped like that before and I went in the kitchen right after and started crying. Afterwards we both quietly sat in the kitchen and ate together.
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Just take a breather. Being overwhelmed & stressed is just a part of motherhood & it’s good you realized your actions. Tomorrow I would sit down with him and apologize…let him know you’re sorry & you’re sorry if you scared him. You were just tired & you know your actions weren’t okay so you want to apologize. It’s tough when your child is tired, & adding your own tiredness on top of that doesn’t help. Taking you time as a mom is essential, I know it’s hard when you’re used to having them at your hip but even just going to get a pedicure or go to the store by yourself can really help. Take care xx

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Feeling like a defeated single mom

Being a single mother is hard.
Try not to feel guilty, your emotions are perfectly valid. Your son is unlikely to remember, so try not to worry.

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It happens. As parents we ARE allowed to lose our shit once in a while. We are human.

Explain that he is to do as you ask. Next time it goes in the trash.

Do you think it would have been easier to let him eat in the fort? Sometimes you have to choose your battles. It’s okay to break down sometimes. Sometimes kids need to see that we can’t always hold it together. As long as you apologize for yelling, I think he will understand.

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It happens mama. We all have breaking points. Don’t beat yourself up to much :heart:

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It’s so hard to keep it together all the time. Remember you’re a great mom and EVERYONE has breakdowns and snaps

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We are human too. Mine are allowed to be imperfect and have emotion too. You didn’t snap and hit him. So don’t beat yourself up

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I think all of us have felt like that at one point. Dont beat yourself up, tomorrow is a new day xx

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It’s going to happen. Please note I’m only 2.5 years into this motherhood thing lol. I know from my experiences as a child and what I’m trying to do with my daughter, these moments happen. It’s important when it settles to apologize for the outburst, not for what you were requesting. Maybe explain what you were requesting and why you feel it’s important. But definitely stand your ground. Of course this is easier said from the outside. But you didn’t hurt him physically, and it is going to happen from time to time. As long as it’s not all the time and I fee like addressing it is Important. Good teaching tool on how to handle big feelings too. Again. I’m not very experienced this is just my opinion LOL.

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Live, learn, and talk about it. Children learn to accept responsibility for their actions by what their parents show them. Talk about how what u did was wrong but what got u to that point. There will be days harder than others but the good days will make it all worth it. Single parenting means double the stress and responsibility but also double the love and cuddles. Good luck

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We’ve all been there. Just apologize and move on. You’ll both be okay. We all get overwhelmed some times.

Don’t be upset with yourself, there are a million things we deal with on a daily basis and it takes a toll. We all have a breaking point and if you didn’t feel bad about it then there would be a problem. You’re doing a great job, keep going!

It happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it. :heart:

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Just be sure to apologize, tell him grown ups have big feelings also. Talk about what you could have done differently. He can learn from you right now :yellow_heart:

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Dont be upset with yourself. Just apologize and move on. Adults have feelings too.

It happens. Mamas are human too…we get overwhelmed and frustrated just like everyone else.
The best thing you can do is apologize and maybe discuss your feelings with your kiddo. (Ex, I know you don’t want to come to the table but that’s where we need to eat food, we can go back and play after we are done. It makes mommy upset when you don’t come as I asked."

Do not feel bad for this. I am the same way, I very rarely have to raise my voice at my son but when I do it’s a blow out. I think his quietness was because he hurt his mommy’s feelings and he didn’t like doing that. Explain to him calmly why it upset you, why you dropped the plate, and let him know it hurt your feelings.

We are human mama. It happens. Give little man extra hugs, apologize, and try to explain. Kids need to understand, all humans, young and old have their moments.
You’re not a bad mom. The fact you even feel bad, is testament to that.

Set down and talk to your son, let him know how overwhelmed you were and that its not ok to act the way that you did nor is it ok to act the way that he did and apologize.

Awe it’s ok mama we are human never let rules slip cause kids don’t understand we do it once but we can’t do it again, so you didn’t do wrong telling fix the pillows because you fixing to eating dinner you just always need apologize for your action and explain you was tired too,

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You dont say how old your son is…but you do say he demanded dinner ??
Youre his mum…not his friend. Not his servant.
Youre not the first parent to yell at their child and you won’t be the last. It will do him no harm at all
Next time give him warning. Tell him dinner will be ready on the table in 5 minutes…then its dinner is out come get it.
Then sit down and enjoy your meal.
Dont chase him up…he knows its there waiting. Dont reheat it…his choice to come get it , eat it cold or not eat it at all .
Children will push us till we can take no more. Youre the parent. You make the rules
I always apologised to my kids if I got things wrong…but in this case I wouldnt have .

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You’re human… Not a robot. It’s okay :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Please don’t take this the wrong way but I laughed at this a little. I’m alwaysssss yelling at my kids. Sometimes I Wish I felt bad but sometimes kids need it. I mean, I’m nice 873728 times before I have to yell. Tough love. Can’t let them walk all over you and think throwing temper tantrums gets their way. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Is this your first? Don’t go crazy over it. Apologize and move on love!

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Your the mom…he either eats it warm, cold, or not at all…his choose to live with…don’t beat yourself up…

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Your human, an apology,a hug, and a promise to try to do better

Apologize to him and hold him. We are human, we snap sometimes, but that is a clear sign you need a break. There is nothing wrong with getting a trusted sitter so you can relax.

So he’s learnt there’s a limit. No big deal

Have a cuddle together if he wants and leave it at that. Don’t talk or it tends to descend into blame

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Hang in there momma! Being a single mom is hard. You got this! We all break…. I found it was important to apologize to my son when I had a breakdown just like I would expect him to do if he had a breakdown.

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Have him sit on your lap and hold him. Apologize to him and talk to him. Tell him how you were feeling and have him tell you his. Then tell him that you will do better and he needs to too.
Tell him that you and him need to start using our words and talking about how you feel.

I do this with my son. When he’s frustrated or mad and wants to give me the silent treatment, I tell him “use your words, so I can help you. What’s wrong?” And then he opens up. Half of it doesn’t make sense but it does to him, so just listen and be open minded and just talk about whatever he says.

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Welcome to life and the realization that you are human and not super human. We all screw up sooner or later. Truly no harm done, talk to your child about losing your temper and apologize if you need to. Hug, kiss, then pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get on with life. We’ve all been there, YOU ARE OKAY!

You got this mumma! :heart: apologise for losing your temper and explain why you lost your temper with him, but also explain that the way he acted isn’t acceptable either, he may understand a lot more than you think. And give all the cuddles if he or you wants it​:blue_heart:

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Sometimes kids push too far when we are at breaking point. No reason to feel bad about this. His tantrum was not necessary, and the response might have been a bit much, but I bet he will not repeat his behavior.

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But yet if a dad did this, you’d all scream abuse and tell the mom to get away now. Double standards much

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It happens. Have a good talk with him. :heart::heart:

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You need to apologize to him. He hears that you are sorry he will learn from that. We all have moments.

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Oh, mama!! Forgive yourself. I tell my kids that I’m sorry if I lose my temper. No one is perfect.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself mama, we all have those moments, especially single moms. I recall a few times in my son’s 12 years that I have lost it and it still pains me to think of those times, but we must forgive ourselves because we are HUMAN. It happens, none of us are perfect no matter how hard we try. Apologize to him and give him a snuggle, let him know that both of your actions were uncalled for and that it shouldn’t happen again. By telling him you’re sorry you’re acknowledging his probably hurt feelings (which would account for his tantrum) are understandable under the circumstances but that you were hurt also and he needs to know that that is not an appropriate way to respond to you. Don’t fret mama, it’ll soon be forgotten by your son. Just keep keeping on and do you, it’ll be ok, I promise. You’re a great mama, if you didn’t question yourself sometimes you wouldn’t be a good mom. We all question ourselves at times, but only the good ones really question themselves, the bad moms don’t care enough to question themselves. Trust me, you’re amazing, remember that!!! All of us single moms are standing behind you each and every day.:heart:

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I think we have all been there :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: it doesn’t mean you’re a bad momma…just human

It happens my 2 year old she gets into everything I also have two other kids they are very young my oldest is 4 and she is 2 and my son is 1 I have snapped before I feel like a horrible mom but it does happen all you can do is talk to them and apologize and my husband is military so he’s away alot but you got this but also he has to learn what you say goes too it’s not all on you

You are not a bad mom :heart::heart:
Apologize and start a new day! We are learning daily.
I feel our true journey of life begins after we have kids. :slightly_smiling_face:

This was posted a few days ago… did it happen again?? :woman_facepalming:t3:

Step into the time machine in your mind and set the dial for a little over twenty years and your visiting your child at their house, if you witnessed them being “triggered” by your grandchild into yelling and throwing a plate of food on the floor wouldnt it be nice to be able to say “I know it can be hard but I never did that to you when you were little”

That’s not failure- that’s teaching them what line not to cross

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He needs to see that his crazy behavior breaks people down. It’s not okay to treat your mother like that!

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We all have these moments, I’m a single mother of three and the last few months I’ve been so defeated and tired, I don’t get breaks, I don’t have help. I work full time but lately my Toddler is always sick and I miss work which means I can’t pay my bills or support my kiddos, we are only human and we lose our shit sometimes, but you communicate with them, apologize. And move on. No one is perfect.

He wasn’t hurt. Sometimes a child needs to see our emotions too, to understand that their actions hurt others.

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How old is he? 2/3? Calmly talk to him about feelings and whatnot. But if he’s like 10, he needs to be grounded
**Assuming there’s no history of mental illness or genetic disorders

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All moms have reached that point at some time, none of us is perfect. Hug your baby and try again tomorrow. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Kids can test our very last nerve tomorrow build him the same Fort n sit inside it together n have dinner just explain mommy is sorry for today n turn it into a happy memory instead of a negative 1

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Sometimes exhaustion will do that

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Sometimes you get overwhelmed and snap - especially when all or most of the childcare falls on us in most situations (which it sounds like is how things are for you). We beg and plead and warn and make threats or negotiations, etc., before we finally reach a breaking point. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up. We have all had those days, or moments. I’m sure it’s not how you are 99% of the time, or it wouldn’t have affected you, or him, that much. He knows you love him, by all of the time and effort you put into taking care of him, nurturing, teaching, loving and spending time with, every other day. You made a fort with him. You show him that he matters to you, but you’re overwhelmed and exhausted and probably haven’t had a break in a long time. Nobody is perfect. You’re doing your best and kids need to know that we ALL mess up sometimes, we all have a breaking point, that their actions DO hurt us sometimes, and that we are sorry and imperfect and will try harder to contain our emotions next time. Just talk to him and explain that to him and tell him you’re sorry and you love him and make tomorrow a better day :heart:

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Man all he wanted was to sit in his fort

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Your son saw you being human. It’s ok. Apologize for your overreaction and state it wasn’t necessary but that following the rules and being respectful is.

The fact that you’re worried about this shows you’re a good mom :heartpulse:

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Your human. Hell be just fine. Maybe even a bit more obedient.

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My husband moved out a month ago. I understand this so much :pensive:even though I was doing a lot of my own before now being a real single mom hits so different. Adjusting has been harder then I thought it would be.
My 5 year old blames me almost every day for her dad leaving and it makes me ball my eyes out.

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Give yourself some grace. You are human. Apologize and let him know mommy makes mistakes to but she will never stop loving him. You’re rocking it girl! Even to Just feel guilty about this shows you care about your baby . I have had moments where I feel like a failure, where I wonder if they know how much I love them and many days where my kids have asked me mom why are you so frustrated ? :frowning: but I show my children even as adults we make mistakes and we can move on from them and next time we can all try again. Sending you love :heart:

Honey, sometimes you have to show them what line NOT to cross. Cause no parent should let their child run over them. Good job!

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He still loves you. And what he saw from you today will be a valuable teachable moment. Sit him down, explain the emotions you were experiencing in the moment. Then apologize for not keeping those emotions under control. Then high him and reminds him of how much your love him. This will show him that it’s okay to feel emotions, it’s even okay for those emotions to become overwhelming. It will teach him how to admit when he behaved poorly and it will teach him how to apologize for poor behavior. Give yourself some grace mama.

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It’s called motherhood. Don’t feel bad

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Your an amazing mumma!
We all have break downs as do the kidos, we are aloud to feel our emotions
There’s way to much mum shame in this world, I’m still learning things myself aka how to handle a toddler :sweat_smile: they are hard work and they are learning to!
At the end of the day no one got hurt
You guys sat down together and ate, wasn’t the plan to begin with but yous got there. And I’m sure he gave you a big hug later on to :two_hearts:
Tomorrow’s a new day

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Every day can’t be a good day, tomorrow is another day, it will be better

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Talk to him and tell him, when he demands something - it will not occur - you are the MOM -. Tell him after this ALL meals will be eaten at the kitchen table, If he gets angry - tell him THAT is why all meals will be eaten at the table. Tell him you are sorry you yelled at him, but you get tired too and when he throws a tantrum - he loses.

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I think you did the right thing. You both expressed your anger without hurting the other and later sat together and ate. Happy ending! Don’t stress.

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I hope you felt better because you accomplished nothing. You showed your child that it’s ok to throw a temper fit. Way to go mom!

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Bless him. I’m sorry but he’s worked so hard putting together his gift for you to not acknowledge it at the time and again when he got upset because no sooner had he finished, you told him to tear it down!! Why couldnt he eat in it? If you gave him the rule to be careful and not spill so he doesn’t spoil or dirty his girt, I’m sure he would’ve eaten better than any other time. I’m sorry but tonight’s upset was unnecessary and totally could’ve been avoided. Tomorrow, make a dry tea and while it’s cooking, offer to help him rebuild it, maybe bigger , so you can both sit in it and eat together and apologise for tonight’s upset and you didn’t realise your request would be so upsetting

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Your a mother a some of these comments are so laughable it happens explain the emotions and the talk about the rules set forth. Explain the course of action and reaction. Some lines should not be crossed and sometimes we lose our temper it’s okay

You are a mother, but you are still human… Do not feel bad for this, we all lose our shit sometimes. He will be ok ! Infact, you showed him that you too, have emotions. Apologize, and move forward. He will love you regardless :purple_heart:

From one single mum to another. Don’t be so hard on yourself we already are.

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I always respect the mums that admit their mistakes or when they are struggling as it’s normally those ones that act like they are so perfect that are going through more than others but because they have to keep up this facade that they are so perfect they don’t actually have anyone they can reach out too or vent too.

Your not a bad mama just human tomorrow’s a new day x

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:raising_hand_woman: Mama you are not alone! I’ve done this too. Sometimes we just lose our shit. So do they. Sometimes our best isn’t very good that day. But if you gave the day your best all you can do is wake up and do the same tomorrow. And always own your actions. I have needed some time before I could, and I’ve even gone in and woken them up to apologize for my behavior so they would go to sleep on good thoughts. Some days are hard, mama! Just know you’re not alone and you’re doing the best you can.

I’ve been there. My advice would be, just apologize, admit you were wrong and tell him you’re sorry & that you won’t do it again and stick to that. It’s important for us to admit when we’re wrong to our kids so they learn how to do the same thing and apologize

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I’m so sorry mama, it’s hard sometimes. There will always be those moments. It’s about what you do after that counts. You are doing GREAT! Stay strong.

Ur a mom its ok tell ur babys when u over reacted n why u done so! If u were a bad mom u wouldnt feel guilty :heart: we all lose our temper it is life iv 3 n i tell my oldest its my responibility to teach them manners n respect! I dont always no how to do whats right but their teaching me :heart:

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We aren’t perfect! Forgive yourself and apologize to your son for losing your temper. It happens!

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Ur his mom. He shouldn’t have even demand dinner…u gotta put them in their places sometimes
U dont need to cry

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I go through the same thing it’s exhausting hopefully it is a phase. At the end she came down & I ask my daughter why she throws a fit & she explains calmly. We work on us together. Praying for you because it does feel like defeat!

You lost your temper bc your child wasn’t listening. He’s lucky he didn’t get a spanking tbh. I’ve been there sister. Hopefully you both can learn from it and don’t dwell on it. You’re human and esp doing this on your own you have double the stress and no one there to relieve you when tempers flare.

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I’m a single mom he’s still a baby but I wonder what our journey will be when he is older . Just keep trying to do better take deep breath’s :blue_heart:

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you’re human, its ok! this would be a good learning experience for him. apologize for losing your temper and explain the situation.

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You know what I do in situations I get faced with with my little like this… is stand my ground! don’t give in! if they don’t like it that’s ok! you won’t sit in the fort at all and you can go have some time to think about what your asking which isn’t unreasonable . until your ready to listen to what you the Mom and parent have to say! And yelling is ok to do! You didn’t raise a hand to him or go even close to that extend so don’t beat yourself up! But know your the one in charge you make the rules not the kids…

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We’ve all been there! Just apologize to him for the way you reacted

It’s stressful and overwhelming. I’ve ate many dinners in a pillow fort. Sometimes you just gotta let them do what they do. Pick your battles. I did it for 7 years. He and I both are very reactive so we really just accommodate each other. It’s a huge learning process.

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Your human we all have moments like this even if people say they don’t their lying , just like him being tired and overwhelmed so can we woman :relaxed:

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Don’t t be hard on yourself, if we’re all honest, we’ve all lost our cool at some point. As long as he wasn’t harmed then give yourself a break. Speak to him, apologise and explain that u were wrong to do what you did. You got this :heart:

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He’s a kid and demanding stuff you? That’s the 1st problem. 2nd we all loose are shit it’s ok!

Has nothing to do with being a single mum. I have a husband and I still lose my shit on my kids sometimes. You’re a good mum. You’re only human. Apologize to him for losing it, tell him you love him. I’m sure he still loves you so much. One time getting screamed at because mom has had it for the day isn’t going to scar him for life. You’re doing great.

Don’t be so hard on yourself parenting is hard just talk to him and explain how u were feeling and how he is expected to act and apologize to him we all do things we are not proud of but showing him u can say ur sorry and just talking to him will go a long way with kids.

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Never forget the day my mom dumped spaghetti on my head because I didn’t want to eat it! She said you don’t want to eat it then you will wear it lol and made me clean it up too!

Been there done that, happens to the best of us. Don’t beat yourself up over being human. Just hug him and move on

That’s shitty parenting to be completely honest and you SHOULD feel bad. This is 100% NOT okay. You wouldn’t want somebody “snapping” at you like that and it’s unacceptable for you to snap at your child like that. I get kids can be overwhelming and tantrums can be annoying, but you acted like a legitimate monster towards your child. You threw a plate on the floor and screamed at him? Yeah no, do better. If it was a father behaving like this, everyone would be up in arms shouting abuse and telling you to leave, but because you’re a mother you get a pass? Nah try again. Kids are still learning and need guidance not violence (screaming and throwing things). Get some help and seek out anger management because things like that can and do damage a child.

Don’t beat yourself up. We all have those moments. Apologize for the way you handled it but not for not giving in to his demands. They need boundaries and to know that they can’t always have their way.

Sometime you have to do stuff like that !! It just helps yer you feel like shit after woods but sometimes you just need to say f$&k it and do your narna

And sometimes eat in the okay tent. Plan meals accordingly.
Yep we all get frustrated and blow. Discuss what you can do next time

Even good mother’s break sometimes. It doesn’t make you a bad mother.

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It happens to the best of us I’ve snapped on my kids a few times it doesn’t make you a bad mom don’t beat yourself up just have a better day tomorrow. We may be mothers but we’re still only humans and we make mistakes, nobody’s perfect.

I lose my shit daily and my kids are just fine and have a great bond with me and know how much I love them . It’s ok . As long as no abuse is happening it’s perfectly okay