My best friend and I had a huge fight, the guilt is eating me up but I dont think I’m the one who needs to apologize.
As a background my best friend and I have been like sisters for 11 years, she was almost my surrogate, she was at the birth of my son, we spend almost every day together.
When her marriage fell apart she became a wreck, she had a drinking problem, an eating problem and began hooking up with random men for fun. While I didn’t condone the behavior I tried to be supportive. I let her move in with me my husband and son.
I made sure she ate, I went with her to appointments, I picked her up and drove her places when she was too drunk.
Random guys would drop her off her completely tanked and I cared for her.
My husband has a good friend a few states away he met online they talk daily. When my friend spoke to this friend online one day I told her immediately he was off limits. I didnt want drama if they fell out or anything happened and she agreed.
My husband and I have been saving money for a few years to go visit this friend but sadly money is tight right now. My best friend told me over fathers day she was taking her grandma to visit her sister I believed her.
She didnt she went down and surprised my husbands friend and spent the week. He now believes there is a relationship blooming while she has moved on.
When I voiced to her I was upset she ignored me and hasnt been around or messaged me in several days. I have reached out and she simply ignores it or says shes busy.
I’m gutted that such a close long friendship appears to be over but I dont think I need to be the one apologizing for being upset.
I also dont want to beg for a friendship that I now doubt meant anything to her.
I’m in a rut and I’m stressed and miserable but wonder if me mending a bridge now is useless and if maybe this friendship has always been one sided.