Gamer wives- How do yall handle video games in your relationship?

He needs to schedule a Mental Health appointment. He needs support and it may do you both good to seek counseling. Video Game addiction is a real thing and he’s walking a fine line of it.

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Gaming is a form of disassociation. He’s avoiding intimacy. She needs to dump him and stop trying to coregulate with real chaos

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Gamer wives- How do yall handle video games in your relationship?

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My hubby says it’s a stress reliever for him. He doesn’t constantly play as he works on the road. But he will play at night it don’t bother me anymore. He not too loud we have kids. Let him know how your feeling

Adults balance hobbies with other parts of their lives. If your partner is obsessing over games to the point of neglecting other obligations it’s a huge red flag that needs immediate intervention.

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I actually don’t mind the playing of the games, it’s a way to unwind. What I do mind is when they sit straight down and don’t help with anything. Make sure everything’s sorted first then play.

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The hubs plays a lot but sometimes we have to have the boundary talk where I express feeling slightly neglected. A lot of times he doesn’t realize how sucked in he got, so we buffer with a couple of videos or a show and talk

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Grown man playing video games instead of spending time with his family? Sorry, but no thanks!! Thank God my man works then comes home and spends his time with his family!! Sorry, love!!! I wouldn’t put up with it!!!

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I feel your pain… I isolate myself bc im used to it by now… it sucks. Especially when they barely care how you feel.

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Play the games with him. It’s fun and you can shut your brain off and not think all your bad thoughts.
Also, he’s home and not out being bad.

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Just thank god you don’t have kids :persevere::no_mouth: honestly it ends in divorce

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Hey! I know its tough and it sounds like your love language is being ignored, have you tried gaming with him?

I practice until better than my other half lol. Then I target him on the game. And win. Repeatedly.

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He couldn’t put it down only to go to work … I left him

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That being said, just because he’s depressed does not mean he should be closing himself off too you. This is causing a snowball effect and thats not fair. He needs to be more considerate and compromise.

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My husband is a gamer. It’s a stress reliever for him and a way for him to unwind. But we set boundaries. If I want to watch a movie or some tv with him, then he knows that comes first. As well as time with our kids. I view his gaming the same as me on social media or binging Netflix…

So maybe set boundaries? See if that works?

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I don’t care if my husband plays video games because that’s how he relaxes. I use to play a lot of video games myself so I don’t care. It’s not that huge of a deal unless you want all of his time for you.

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My husband is a gamer as well at the begging of our relationship he was on his game constantly and it has always been his form of coping with depression as well. It’s never really been a problem he always spends time with me and our child first and then he goes off to game. Talk to him ask him what’s wrong. Sometimes all they want to do is escape to a different world and not talk about what’s really going on. Don’t be cold have a sincere conversation with him and let him know how his actions is making you feel best of luck.

I felt like that before. I just got my own hobby. Crocheting. Then sewing. Then epoxy. (Soon clay… I cant stop crafting :grimacing::rofl:) Now it’s my goal, i have 3 shops on etsy. And i am officially quitting my job to be home full time with the kids and run my shops. I will say, the more you push, the more he will resent. If you dont find happiness and security in yourself… You cant expect the same from someone with the same issues. My anxiety and depression used to make me needy. Then i turned it around and made it useful. I balance like 20 different crafts between 4 kids, pets, and a full time job on nights. He found his outlet… Find yours. Then if you two dont get a balance together, then its time to reevaluate. My husband and i have been together for 8 years. It will take yime to get an equal balance… But it can happen.

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We alternate nights that he works one night we do something together the next we each do our own thing, I don’t want to tell him he can’t game bc I get it’s his relaxing time and crafting is mine, his days off we go back and forth on as well but they’re done seperate so one day off is individual and the next together and nomatter individual or together nights we both baby wrangle untill our daughter goes to bed. It helps us because it splits time fairly but also we both have addictive personalities where if we didn’t balance things out he’d game nonstop, I’d craft nonstop, or we’d irritate eachother being together too much. And sometimes we cuddle while he plays and I craft. But it takes cooperation and communication

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When my bf quits playi.g i worry about him but i bought a p4 so we can play together lol

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I feel like we are living the same lives only im a stay at home mom to two toddlers and an infant. So i spend all day changing diapers and cooking or cleaning or chasing tiny people around and when he gets home he goes straight to his computer and all i want is a little us time or even a hey baby how were the littles today.

No. Because I’d fight him.

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My boyfriend plays games on the computer alllllll the time. Used to be from the time he got off work until he went to bed. It caused our relationship to be very very rocky a few times to the point t we almost called it quits a handful of times. One day we got into a really bad argument that lasted about a week because he never seemed to make time for myself or to help with out kids and we almost called it quits but I expressed how upsetting it was and how it made me feel (like we were just roommates and not even in a relationship) and he expressed it helps with his anxiety so we came to a compromise. He gives me the attention that I need and helps with the kids and I let him have time to play his games. So far it has been great. We continuously work together to give each other what they need. Relationships aren’t always 50/50 sometimes they’re 90/10 sometimes they’re 60/40 but since we work together we haven’t argued about it in months. Try having a conversation and tell him what you need and what you’re willing to give. If you guys can work together you’ll be so much happier and less stressed

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Everyone has their own coping mechanism. And he has chose games. Why is he depressed? Have you asked him whats going on? At least he isn’t out doing something stupid.

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Personally I’m the gamer in our relationship
Get yourself a hobby…

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I just joined in my husbands gaming. Also I told him he can’t be on 24/7. He still plays a lot but I play with him so its not as bad

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Maybe you can find yourself a hobby. I enjoy reading. My husband doesn’t play games. But is a big time fisherman, so,
He fishes/or is prepping to go, fiddling with the boat, etc. and I read… sleep, do my homework.

If it’s a real serious issue for you, then ask for one evening a week,
For y’all to do something together, or once a month… whatever. And then do something that you both enjoy. A cooking class, or something that bonds you, like a team building activity. Don’t talk to him about it while he is gaming, and don’t try to get his attn by a fight. Good Luck. It sounds like y’all are young, you have a long life ahead of you, to feel this alone already is sad.

Also, if he is depressed, maybe figure out why?

My husband is. At the beginning of our relationship he was playing all day every day. Wouldn’t help with the kids or cleaning etc. I told him he either steps up as a partner and father or he steps out. I don’t care if he plays AFTER the kids go to bed or during naps. But what he isn’t going to do is play all day and all night and push everything else on me. Now he plays every night after the kids go to bed on weekends and every week night after he gets off work. He’s more present in the home and interacts with the kids. If he needs a few hours to relax and game during the day on weekends (we alternate shifts on week days so he can’t during the week bc he’s caring for our toddlers) I expect him to talk to me first so we can rearrange any plans or schedules so he can be able to have that time. I do the same when I need a break.

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My advice is to seek counseling first… your husband says he’s gaming because he is depressed, but, getting to the root of the matter is important; why is he depressed? Are things rough at work? Did something happen to his family? Try addressing that issue first…

Second, I’d suggest setting boundaries. Everyone has that “thing” that they like to do to help them unwind, his is video games. Express how you feel without being accusatory and offer a suggestion. Ex- I really miss being able to connect intimately with you, and playing video games for extended periods of time cuts in on our “us time.” It really makes me feel unloved and unappreciated, and I would like for us to spend more quality time together. How about from (this time to this time) we take time just for each other (take turns suggesting activities). Allow him to have his “him time” when he gets off of work, and then set a time for you and him to do stuff together.

Another suggestion, Go for a walk together. Getting exercise together can help increase intimacy as well as produce serotonin (the happy chemical) to help fight depression for you both.

Also, try playing with him sometimes. Joining him in an activity that he enjoys may be apart of his love language and can help you bond more. Maybe suggest getting a game that you both could enjoy playing together.

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Gaming, drinking, gambling, drugs or cheating. Those are your outlet choices. You decide.

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I leave. A man that needs video games instead of a real hobby is a loser

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I completely understand this… I have found my own things to enjoy… as others above have mentioned. But my man has no problems cuddling while playing… i usually curl myself around him, or have my head in his lap.

If you cant beat him…join him :joy:

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So, the advice here is, For her and ignore how your feel and find something else to do so you don’t notice you’re being ignored, really? :woman_facepalming:
Girl, look… Decide if it’s worth staying. It’s not a coping thing anymore, it’s an addiction.
On all truth, move out for a while. Do mot go back until he’s in therapy and ready to be married. If he isn’t willing to try, he isn’t ready for a marriage.

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My husband and I game so no issue for us we play mortal Kombat 11 together or take turns watching each other play different games. Get over your jealous selves.

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I am in this exact same boat! My hubby gets so mad and defensive when I even mention him playing. One of the things I loved about him is that he didn’t play video games fast forward 7 years and a new ps5 and now all he does is play NBA2k21 and it’s a MAJOR turnoff!

I can actually say I know how you feel. My husband has played video games since he was young and while we were dating and even now that we’re married. I was jealous of the time he spent while playing games but after I read about my situation and understood how it helps him with stress, I don’t mind anymore. It doesn’t bother me now since we made an agreement that once he takes care of his priorities first he can play. If he’s not willing to compromise with you and understand your point of view then it’s time to walk away.

My gaming nearly caused my wife and I to get a divorce. I would play all day, go make love to her and then go back to playing instead of staying in bed and snuggling. After some major events due to her feeling like I wasn’t into her intimately anymore I made a change. I started making sure to go to bed and snuggle 90%of the time as well as get out of game more often to just watch a show or TV with her. I stopped eating while playing and we eat dinner at the kitchen table. None of my clan mates have ever had any issue with me saying “I’m gonna spend some time with the wife or I’m gonna eat dinner with the wife” I made the changes over 10 years ago and our relationship is much healthier. My wife has also picked up gaming on her phone so she has something to do when I’m in game since she’s not into FPS games.

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At least he’s not cheating on you I had a friend who was always complaining about this so she broke his console and Welp he just went off and started cheating on her. I actually enjoy watching my man play he plays so well…

My husband plays video games and I had the same issue but we have three kids 2 from my previous relationship and 1 together. I’d get home cook , feed kids , do homework, clean , shower them, and put to bed while he sat on his games all night until bed time. It started to make me angry because I was tired of doing everything. We eventually got in a big fight he stopped playing for awhile so we could work on our marriage and our communication. He now makes sure I don’t need help , or have things planned for us then plays. On the weekends I don’t care if he plays all night because it’s a weekend if that’s how he wants to spend his night after I go to bed then he can. I honestly don’t care because I play animal crossing on the switch but only when everything else is done. Definitely talk to him about it. It’s my husband’s stress relief and I honestly rather him do this then out doing God knows what. :woman_shrugging:

Maybe get an actual hobby then?

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Mine started playing more often so I “forgot” to pay the Internet bill, I’ve done this a few times now. :joy: I convinced him it takes 24-48 hours for the payment to go through! :rofl: not all husbands are as gullible as mine though lol maybe you should try and play something with him or get one for yourself, I usually sit next to my man and play a game on my phone while he plays his game with his friends.

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Honestly have been dealing with the same thing in my relationship. We have 2 children. He works, and i dont mind that he plays but it was getting to be all the time. Every spare second. So he designated 2 days out of the week where he basically does it however long he wants/needs to finish what hes trying to accomplish and i know those days he’ll be gaming most of his free time, unless we have import things to attend to. And the rest of the week he does play but not for long long periods of time. It has helped a lot.

Video games destroyed my first marriage. Seriously, he needs rehab, he’s an addict. And I don’t see why any grown person would want to play video games anyways, but ok, play if you want. When it starts taking precedence over your wife, kids, responsibilities as a father and well, basically just his entire life… that’s where I draw a line. I needed a husband, not another child.

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I play with my boyfriend. I clean all day and do my house chores and when he gets home I make dinner we eat, play with the kids, they get their bath and go to bed and we both get on and play. I love it & all the amazing friends we meet on Xbox. Maybe find a hobby you each like and make time for both. Men are hard to communicate with and don’t always understand us females… I think getting him to understand how you feel is going to be the hardest part! I’m sending luck your way that you can get through to him… :heart:

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I honestly don’t mind if he plays I just get annoyed if it’s all day for multiple days in a row. Like if he’s off Tuesday & Wednesday & he plays for 8-12 hours both days I’m like :roll_eyes: but otherwise I don’t mind. He doesn’t talk to anyone tho lol but he does scream the whole time :joy: sometimes we play together which makes it fun but I don’t like to play constantly like him

I wish mine would play video games so I didn’t have to spend time with him :raised_hands:

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Learn to play video games and beat him at his own game and :woman_shrugging:

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This was a huge issue in my relationship. I have expressed my feelings & we talked about it. He plays everyday which I am totally fine with, but he makes sure he still will sit down every night & watch a show or tv with me before bed. It has helped just that little bit & than we go to bed together. On weekends, he usually stays up & plays while I sleep & im good with that to.

You need to have a calm conversation about the amount of time spent and that you guys need time for family and couple things. When new games and DLC drop we tend to spend a lot of time on them to accomplish stuff. But it is important to not overdo. Streamers have schedules set so if that’s his thing he needs to work a schedule out that works for everyone.

Play together? Find mutual ground?

Get a hobby
He isn’t going to change my husband is into video games and we connect because I join him but not all the time I rather him to be in this Element then drugs etc. but he finds the balance of us time and family time plus he helps me connect with my brother with games :heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

We have 2 kids and we both play video games together and since I started playing with him he doesn’t play as much anymore. I play more now lol

Firstly these “at least he’s not cheating” and don’t be jealous comments are actually ridiculous. Just because he’s still at home does not mean that he doesn’t need to put effort into there marriage. It’s his hobby yes thats fine but your emotional needs and need for quality time with your partner are important too. Sit him down and explain how it’s affecting you and if things don’t change then you have a decision to make , do not beg for the bare minimum.

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Hmmm, my brother makes money playing video games. It can be done. I frankly like to play video games and would play with him. The most healthy relationship I have had included us playing video games in a good moderation with each other, but as spending time together doing other things. If you’re not going to play with him, at least give him time to play, but ask time be spent with you doing other things. Communication is key in relationships, so talk to him.

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My fiancé usually plays when he gets off at 12 (midnight) til about 3. I don’t mind because he works 6 days a week and his video games are his way to relax and talk to his nephews (they are 18 & 20). I watch with him most of the time! I wanted to spend more time together so I decided to try and watch him play and it’s actually pretty fun. Plus we get more time together and he still gets to release stress from working all week. I guess it depends on the person :woman_shrugging:t2: he doesn’t play every night but very often. His day off is spent with just us and getting baby stuff together (I’m 8 months prego) so he knows those days are for us. I’d try to either get interested in what he likes to do for fun, or come to a common ground on how much time you guys spend together. Or certain days just you guys do something. Communication is key!

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There were times when my ex-husband played video games for 18 or 20 hours straight. He was definitely, and still is, addicted. I got so tired of him screaming and cussing at whatever game he was playing or the people he was playing with. I got tired of doing everything and him sitting and playing video games. The only thing he did was cut the grass at our home. I did everything else, took care of the kids, Kept the house very clean, fed everyone, laundry, and worked. After 31 years of being married, I finally left because of that and other things. The video games were definitely the start of our marriage ending Good luck!

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Ooo the video games. I just had this conversation again. It finally worked :clap:t2::clap:t2: Be calm when you have time with him in the car or eating or whatever. Express again you feelings and how it makes you feel that the game is more important in his life than you. I have tried yelling getting frustrated it didn’t work at all or made it worse. Or get a card and put it in the vehicle he uses. Just put all ur feelings in the card? Good luck I hope it works :crossed_fingers:

My husband and I use to have the same issue. I told him how I felt about it and we really set down and discussed this. He then set aside a time limit on how much he would play and that made me feel alot better. He don’t really play anymore unless we play as a couple or a family. We have a Nintendo switch and we love it. I’m not a “gamer” either but this is something we all enjoy and we get to do it together. Esp with games like Mario, Donkey Kong ( games I grew up on )

U need to tell him how u really feel and opt for compromise. Pick days of the week where the 2 of you spend the time together and other days where gaming is ok or something

Escaping his depression isn’t dealing with the issues he is having. He is escaping reality to just deal with it. He needs to get off of the games. I wouldn’t deal with this on my home. They become addicted to it and don’t even realize it because they think it helps them. Talk to a counselor yourself on how to approach it to him.
It’s one thing to play, it’s another thing to use it as a tool to escape his issues.

I think he should balance it out not to leave you out. Find away to tell him your lonely want him around more.

I used to take the time to do the things I liked to do. I would read. Everytime he bought a new game I would buy a new book :grinning:

My husband does this too. Doesn’t bug as much as it used to. If I need his attention I just start saying get off. If he doesn’t I start yelling that I asked nicely. You can call them right back. He normally doesn’t let me yell anymore. He invites me to play. But ya. We argue about it occasionally. Like tonight… he is talking to one of his players. I had laundry to fold so I asked him to shove a passy in the babies mouth for a few. I folded and put away he played his game. Baby cried he ignored her. I came out and told him his computer and phone can go out the window or you can put the passy back. He did till 1 when she wasn’t having it anymore. I also can jump on his channel too. So ask to join, find a hobby, talk to him, or just climb on his lap anyway. It’s about balance. D&d is part of my husband. Being an over planner is part of me. He hates my habit I hate his. We let each other be

LEAVE HIM. Move on, be with someone who makes your relationship their priority.
That’s not a hobby that’s an obsessive problem.

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I’m into games and watch streamers. I don’t play all the time or instead of other things. Idk it’s hard if he is streaming trying to make that into something profitable. It takes a lot of time and effort and you may never get there. But you really need the support of your spouse to do it cause otherwise it will just cause issues.

There come limits … talk to him or just accidentally on purpose throw the console out :woman_shrugging:

I couldn’t be with him.

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This is precisely why I refuse to date a guy who plays video games again. Hard pass.

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Maybe try gaming together? My guy used to be like this but now I’m the bigger gamer. We are just comfortable doing our own thing now. We don’t always have to be next to each other. Maybe find your own solo thing you enjoy doing.

I couldn’t be with a gamer, it’s a hard pass for me.

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Honey get rid of the game

My husband is a gamer. & we used to have this issue. Once I expressed how I was feeling neglected and unimportant, we made a deal.

He can game as long and as much as he likes. It’s his escape & I’m glad he has something he enjoys. But, if I’m overwhelmed and need help whether that be w the kids, housework, dinner etc. he gets off, without hesitation (unless he’s playing a game that cannot be paused, then as soon as that specific “round” is over) and helps me. And when he’s done or I feel better, he goes back to gaming. It requires give and take.

But your husband has to be willing to give just as much as he’s taking.

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If he’s depressed and using games to cope it just shoves emotions down and doesn’t solve anything. Call his doc & get him evaluated for depression. Then go to a marriage counselor so someone else (that he’s paying) can tell him he needs to make time for his wife & kids.

Then do other things that relieve stress as a family like swimming, bowling, visiting friends, going for walks, going out to eat even if it’s just taking hot dogs outside.

Set boundaries for playing time with the marriage counselor. He/she can maybe also help with strategies to help hubs deal with whatever is stressing him & get advice on how to cope better with the situations.

I swear I’d just disable the game console, though. :smile:

I just grabbed a controller and told him to let me join. Some of the games he plays, I am ABSOLUTELY terrible, but that shows him I’m trying to get some attention and spend some time together. He eventually started being more open minded about my effort and we play games that I actually enjoy. Although I will NEVER be the gamer that the boys always turn out to be, I at least feel like I’m getting a little time with him. I also picked up a hobby that I can spend alot of time doing and when he turns on the console, I start dragging out my things and do my own thing. Then in the event of an argument, I tell him how I feel. Everyone has their own ways to deal with mental illness, but giving a screen and gamer violence ALL your time, money, and attention definitely isnt the answer. At one point, I got so upset I told him the games needed to slow down or that would be the only thing he had (as in me and my kiddos leaving). It has got a little better. But its definitely time and effort.

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Talk to him and be honest. Yes video games help with depression (it does mine), but he is also addicted. It may have started out with helping his depression but it’s evolved and taken hold of him and he’s addicted.

You both sound a bit selfish. Maybe I’m wrong, but I got the impression that you only want him off so he can pay attention to you & at times help you with your depression by cuddling you. Do you have children? There should be a median. It’s fine to have a hobby, but a hobby shouldn’t take up your entire life outside of work. He should still help with house chores, spend time with you and your family, bond with the kids, etc. If he wants to play games all day and ignore responsibilities maybe he should move back to his moms house :woman_shrugging: Both my partner and i enjoy video games, it’s one of the things we had in common as friends, now that we have small children (1 & 23 weeks pregnant) we seem to have less time for it. He understands he can only play when he has time and we aren’t spending time together, r.n. that time is limited. ometimes we play games together, some games are even family games to play with our older girls (10 & 14). Try talking to him and setting boundaries or time limits, maybe only play certain days, or a certain amount of time each day. He can play after dinner, after the kids are asleep, etc. Hope you guys can come to an understanding and be able to compromise. My sisters partner plays all day as well and it definitely causes tension for them.

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I try to never say anything because I know it’s a coping mechanism to deal with stress, but it does get very annoying. Look up symptoms of avoidant personality disorder in men and see if it resonates. You’re definitely not the only one that goes through this.
Sometimes it’s not as simple as “then grab the controller and play with him”. Some of you guys have clearly never dealt with a man who has a TRUE video game obsession problem. It always goes deeper than just playing a video game.

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Prior to us being married, my husband worked at a local pizza place. He made decent money for someone living with just their own expenses, but almost immediately after we got married, my health took a significant turn and I ended up unable to work due to multiple surgeries in a very short amount of time. He’s always been into video games (he was literally playing XBOX when I saw him the first time), and before we got married/right after, he played quite a bit, since his work schedule allowed it. At first, it would irritate me, because hello, you were gone all day and I was gone all day, and I made you dinner and your nose is in the TV. It would have been nice to come home and actually be able to make eye contact. Then I got sick, and without hesitation, he went and got a second job. With his second job, he was only sleeping maybe 3-4 hours a day. Gaming became almost non-existent. He began to look for a better paying job, and found one at the factory he currently works for, with great benefits and really good pay, which has only gotten better over the years. He had missed gaming so much, and I felt absolutely awful for being nigh useless due to my medical issues. There was a pre-order for a game he and his friend had been talking about for months, so I had someone drive me down to the mall, went to GameStop, and used some of the money I had saved to pre-order the game for him. I got the collector edition because it came with a bunch of extras I thought he would enjoy. I told him he had it on pre-order, but not which edition, and suggested that he invite his friend over to our apartment for dinner and then they could attend the midnight release together. While they were gone, I laid out a spread of their favorite gaming snacks/drinks. When they returned, he came straight to me, picked me up, and gave me the biggest hug. His friend told me he was the only person at the release who got the Collector’s edition, and everyone was freaking out over it, apparently super jealous. Then they saw the snacks and stuff I had put out, and they both were super grateful. I went to bed listening to them play, and honestly, it hasn’t bothered me since. I even started playing some games with him, ones he told me he thought I would like (he’s never been wrong).

In our situation though, he DOES know when to put the games down. After we had children, he didn’t play much anymore either. Now that our older two kids can operate a controller, he’ll play with them, and we will schedule days where we’ll get up super early or stay up late after the kids are all sleeping to play together. Gaming was never my thing, but it’s a way to spend time together and connect over something that he really enjoys, and I honestly do have fun. Maybe try playing with him. You may not realize what meeting him halfway would mean to him.

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I was an Xbox widow and we eventually split. Good mates now but it is hard being with a gamer. You either accept him the way he is or move on :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I let him play because its the only time he is playing for himself. My husband is very responsible, spends time with me and our kid. There were times when he got addicted in playing of course, I just talked to him then he stopped playing for a while and changed his game routine.
You really need to talk to him because as you’ve said he isn’t like that, he maybe have some problems and havent been open to you about it. Sometimes its just communication that solves every problem. But I think it really depends on both of you since its all your choice if you want it to work. :blush:

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I would allow him to game but with limitations. He needs to make you a priority too…you guys should establish a schedule. Like on certain days of the week he can game and the other few days he spends them with you? Maybe every other day, or whatever works with your guys schedule…but your marriage should come first before anything else.

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I’d rather my man be at home with me playing video games than out God knows where running the streets with God knows who

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First off he needs to realize that getting enough views on a stream isn’t going to happen over night and it’s not an easy thing to keep up on. So if that’s something he’s wanting to make money off of that needs to be his full time job. I really wish people would stop thinking it’s the easiest thing in the world to be a YouTuber or streamer. Second is that he needs to realize you want his time and attention and the games can wait. They’ll be there tomorrow. It won’t kill him to put it down for a day or two and to spend time with you. My fiancé and I both play games so it isn’t an issue with us but when one of us wants the other to hang out we drop it and spend time with each other.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Gamer wives- How do yall handle video games in your relationship?

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Yep it’s the man’s fault just like everything else in a relationship. Maybe just maybe there is more to the story than is on just this side of the coin. How bout you all ask what his side is and stop playing arm chair psychiatrist. Sit down talk find out if something is really wrong. Most men won’t say what is wrong because when you do it shows weakness in our society. Yet if you don’t your toxic and horrible person also. So sit and think before you say leave him. You don’t know both sides of the story.

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My son does this to his wife. She made a plan they have date night once a week and everyother weekend no games he has get involved and stay involved with there life no games.Those are her times they go park,do chores.This has helped make her less angry. Give it a try Good luck !!!

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You want a man not a child :roll_eyes:personally I’d never play second fiddle to a video game

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I play video games all the time but I play games that my wife likes to watch, I do set a cutoff time at 700 pm, we have a understanding I ask her if I can play longer if I had a bad day at work. This has nothing to do about being a child or an adult games have come a long way and are in some aspect better then movies when okay by a person who is decent at gaming.

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Get a hobby that leaves him with more responsibility to do at home and he’ll soon ask why you spend so much time elsewhere .

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This is my view right now. He has been on since about 6pm. We have a rule that he can play his game as long as we get to spend some time together. Our youngest is 3 and hasn’t fell asleep yet but when she does he will get off and we will watch a movie and have us time and then after if he wants to get back on that’s fine. He loves it when I cuddle up to him why he plays. Try talking to him and see if there is something else bothering him. I know when I was a full time college student and did homework, housework and taking care of 2 kids at the time I never had much time for him so he took that time and played his video games. We have since then learned from it and we both make time for each other. We have 3 kids now and I’m a full time college student online. I make sure that we spend time together at least 3-4x a week this way I have time for school and kids and him. But he has to be willing to communicate with you. Since you said it never was like this something could be bothering him that he Is not telling you. I would try and talk to him first without an attitude or being upset. Tell him he can talk to you about anything even if it’s bad or embarrassing. That you are there and want to help him. Then proceed and tell him you want to spend more time with him. Good luck hope this helps

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My husband makes a healthy effort to balance his love of gaming with my needs and wants. He has to care enough to do both.

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We have this argument too sounds exactly like mine. But we also make time to watch series together. There has to be a compromise. I think getting them out of the house away and out of sight of the addiction is the only way. Make an agreement. Identify the source of your depression and come out bit by bit. It’s not easy to drag yourself out but give it a go at least for an hour or two doesn’t have to be long then slowly start doing it more often like once a week. Balance is key I found that I like being alone too and he plays his games. When we feel for movies we watch together and we make time for family but he is otherwise playing on line.

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Maybe try playing the games with him since it something he likes then he can do something you like. My husband and I game together and we’re happier for it.

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Me and mine play games together :person_shrugging: we also take turns I’m a gamer as well. But we have kids that are in several different sports , so if he comes home and plays a game or two or four before we have to leave it’s not a big deal. games relax him and me, so I’m assuming it does the same for your assume.

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Start going out and enjoying activities with others. Be less available. See what happens. But more importantly, don’t wait on him to enjoy your life.

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I totally hear you, mine doesn’t play from day til late night but pretty close… frustrating for sure… I just started going to the gym or trail and work out while he plays

I just can’t even begin to contemplate that married people would be okay with this. NO! I mean, gaming? Really? And he’s saying that it helps for his "depression "? I’m sorry, but that is a load of crap. He’s a married MAN, not a kid. If you have mental health issues, try to find a constructive way to deal with it. Gaming for every spare minute you have, is not the way. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I see it.

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You might find help at Al Anon. It’s specifically for family and friends of alcoholics, but addiction is addiction, and it sounds like you could use some help.

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