Leave the kids with dad and go have yourself a week vacation!!!
Try sharing more of the load, I found i did everything…
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#chillmomssmokeweed I smoke to control my anxiety and stress…helps alot more thank meds
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It sounds like you need you time for self care. It’ll definitely help you not be so cranky. Start doing something for you one hour per week carved out just for you. More if needed/can be done. Try journaling, painting, talking a long bath, getting your nails done, anything you particularly enjoy. Something just for you.
Date nights and going to church help…as well as taking a benadryl at night. Lol. If go to church…get to dress up and have time away from kids while they play with kids for couple hours in a different room. Make sure do stuff for yourself. I didnt have money to go to a salon,so spent $20 on hair dye and highlight combo kit and did my own hair,as well as bought some twist curlers to sleep in after shower and ,after got my hair looking awesome i dressed up and did my makeup to show my husband i can look just as sexy as i did when was a teen…as well as boosting my self confidence. Go to salon or do at home makeover. Go buy a few new clothes…maybe even lingerie for confidence boost. May need to be on anxiety meds as well. I have a stomach condition and my dr put me on nortriptyline to help…which also calms nerves. I take it about 3 times a week.
Also…try to get husband to watch kids when you go grocery shopping sometimes so you can also go browse and buy a few things for yourself without kids asking for things and getting into things the whole darn time. Helps a lot. Dont be afraid to keep bottle of favorite wine in fridge to sip on when get kids in bed at night either.
We just took a family trip to the beach last month too. This pandemic stuff is making things worse as well for people mentally. Didnt realize how bad i was off mentally until got back from beach and was like a whole new person. Enjoyed the close bonding with the kids and different scenery. Came back feeling 100% better…more energetic and less down. If get angry…make sure kids bave everything they need…food,drink,tv going,clean diaper,etc…and just find something to do that you enjoy doing and do that. Paint toenails…knit,rrad a book,watch a favorite show or tv series,etc…and just have you time. Get in a nice long bath with bath bomb or something and do you…Look into hiring babysitter every now and then and just going out and having fun with friends or hubby…or do double date night. Tiny humans are great and all…but do wear on the nerves…
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I would go to the gym if you want to lose the weight if you feel like dressing up just to go to the grocery store or sit around do it your not going to be hurting anybody. I wish someone would have told me that when I had little ones they are now 28 and 24 and now I’m just finally learning how to use makeup as well as trying to lose weight even though my bones crack.
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Its hard coming back. I started exercising and going on walks being outside helped me a lot more than therapy did. You might need a different therapist to i finally found a good one 3rd try lol. Do you makeup and hair like your going out and feel beautiful.
Visible Child: Respectful/Mindful Parenting sometimes perspective can help with some of that stress & anxiety, giving you tools on how to deal with these emotions. I recommend the parenting group bc from the post that seems to be your stressor.
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Sounds like he needs to help out more to lighten your load, I was feeling the same way, I didn’t recognize myself, it was after I split that I started to feel more like me, because I had less responsabilities toward him, it was only me and my daughter and that lightened the load, I’m not saying split up, I’m saying you have too much on your plate and need time for yourself, let him help more 
You HAVE to let go of that person. You are not and will never be that person again. You have to learn to love the new you. Take care of her…find the things you like…things that make you happy…its hard.
I you may need a different therapist. Is yours just letting you emotionally dump, giving you “homework”, suggested needing possible meds.
Have a monthly girls night (very important for you) and take montly date nights (important for yall) mental health is more than just therapy. I went through a lost myself time two years ago and felt like these things and therapy together helped not only me but also my marriage as well
Get those kiddos in a moms day out program! They are usually 2 days a weeks for 3 or 4 hours and not really expensive. And then get yourself a good babysitter for dates nights at least once a month w your hubby. Lastly, have a girls night every now and let your hubby watch the kids. It’s all about balance !
Make time for yourself and make time for each other! It’s so important
I have no advice only huge amounts of understanding!!! I do notice as they get older it gets lighter and I feel myself slowly changing not back to pre mama but to a new happy mama.
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My Moods got way better when I started medication for my anxiety.
Self care hun. Always take time for yourself. Your husband can watch the kids a few hours a week so you can go out with your girlfriends or go to a spa or just do anything on your own without their children. Just because your mother doesn’t mean you’re not an individual to you need to grow yourself also
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The rose colored glasses of youth absolutely come off once you have children. It’s important to get some me time for yourself mama. Find a sitter some night and go on a date absolutely. Take a long shower. Some anxiety medication maybe to go along with the therapy. Remember your doing the best you can and while your kids are your whole world, you matter too and need to love yourself as much as those kids love you. They need you to love yourself like that too.
This is exactly why I don’t want kids, it just ain’t worth it.
I understand the husband. I have a friend who has devoted her entire life to her kids but her husband gets maybe 5% of her time. Even when they are along it’s kids this abs that. Me and my spouse go on at least 2 dates a month. We call my mom and she drives from a hour away so we can have us time. Also our son has a sharp 7:30 bed time and me and my spouse have dinner every night at the table no tv and just talk. Sounds like you need to Dedicate time just for husband and wife.
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Is your husband helping you to get enough self-care and time to unwind? This is an issue that’s fixable but it requires that the shared responsibility of care-giving be actually shared.
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Sounds like she’s stressed and overworked. I doubt she’s getting enough support from her partner/family. Motherhood is extremely hard. I’m constantly stressed, the only thing that truly helps is HELP!!
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Take more magnesium, calm your nerves, & find a way to create pleasure in this new path. I know that sounds easier said than done, but raising a child & being a wife as an angry, anxious woman will be a sure way to cause more issues. Perhaps you need more rest & time for yourself, or perhaps you need more minerals & nutrients — either way, finding some way to bring yourself more joy will enhance your life & make you more confident in your choices.
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Are you being completely honest with your feelings with your therapist? If you are and it is not helping I would see if you could a diagnostic and maybe a different therapist? I went thru five until one not only told me my mental illnesses but pointed me out he direction to help manage them. It take time and patience. I am not going to lie it’s hard work. And I am also not going to use toxic positivity. I hope you find what you need. Also do you allow yourself time to be just you? Do you have any mom groups or close friends you can see?
Exercise. It helps so much to release the stress and anxiety. Make if a priority to have date nights even if it’s just to have a slushie. Don’t make the same mistake many women do that they forget about their husband and themselves and focus on the children.
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Same, girl. My hubs and I just had the same conversation. Our conclusion was that duties need to be equal, both at home and with kids. We just started so I can’t say whether or not after some time I’ll feel more myself or not, but I can say I’m enjoying having more time for myself. Last week he was in charge of dinner. This is the first week in 10 years he’s ever been in charge of dinner. After 3 days, he was overwhelmed with having to come home from work, tired and then having to prepare dinner instead of sit down and turn on the TV. Two positive things came from this. First, he apologized for taking dinner for granted and that he had no idea how exhausting it was. Secondly, he now realizes why I keep asking for our grocery budget to increase. He set our grocery budget to $120/week for 6 people. I know those are small things, but for me, they are huge and I’m enjoying him more now that he’s helping out. Honestly, I started resenting him for playing video games and working out because I had no time to do anything besides grade papers, dinner, laundry, cleaning, driving kids around, running all the errands, etc.
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Having kids is a blessing and a joy some people don’t get to have kids!! Some people ended up raising their kids by their selves and the kids turned out even better for it!! It’s so confusing to me why some people enjoy kids and some people don’t, The kids aren’t the problem!!! Use your imagination use your creativity step out of the box be spontaneous be different and I guess keep going to counseling:+1:
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Some men are like children, they need love, attention and a mom… it’s really hard to live with men that are so demanding and selfish. 
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In the words of my therapist, “Make time for weekly or biweekly date nights and also let him know that you need an hour to yourself everyday. Use that time to go out and do what you want like get your nails done or walk through Target or take a LONNNNGGGGG relaxing bath. If he doesn’t agree to give you that time, take it anyway.”
Yes this is true, and during your marriage he will change too, providing for his family, and such will change him as well. But that only strengthens your marriage, you develop teAm work, and a companionship that is unmatchable
It’s just part of growing up …having a family and taking care of your children are a priority now…It can be very exhausting but also rewarding…The old carefree you is gone for good…
Burn out. I went through this. I stuck with therapy started meds and really worked on myself for a few months. I make time for myself. And my husband take our daughter out once a week so I can be in a quiet house. He started doing dinner duty 3 times a week. He told me I am a do it all myself person and it really pushed him away from doing more for me and our family. It actually has made a major difference allowing him to step in more. He reminded me that he is my partner and I was denying him the opportunity to fulfill his promise to help me through all of this. I did it all on my own. Am am doing so much better. I am happy again. I am not overwhelmed and burnt out. We have fun as a family again. I am the fun mom again. And my husband and I are more flirty and playful like the old days. We get lost and if you take moment you will find that fun free girl again.
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So many of you assume the husband is just being a baby bc he doesnt get attention anymore. Maybe that’s not the case here!
Some things that might legit help…
If your therapy doesnt help/do anything to make u feel better, then find someone else! Try couples therapy. Theres a whole hour you 2 get to spend alone. Maybe do lunch beforehand or something.
Take time for just you 2. Meaning date night at least once a month, maybe more. Get a babysitter or family to look after the kids and just go do something. I’m not talking boring fancy dinner- although sometimes do this so you can feel all sexy and beautiful. For this I suggest kids sleep over at family so you can take the sexy home without worries. But also do fun things! Go on groupon for suggestions. Wine tasting, apple picking, a movie, axe throwing, escape the room, etc. You get the point. Something FUN.
Maybe the grandparents wanna see the kids one night? Take a bath or shower together. Not just a quick one to get it done. Take time, maybe play music, have him wash your hair, wash his hair/beard if he has one. My husband loves it when I wash his beard with my nails.
Bottom line is this… you will be less snippy and grumpy if you feel more relaxed than stressed all the time. Tell hubby that. If he wants relaxed wife, he needs to help ease the stress. Simple
Taking time for yourself and your marriage still needs to be a priority. Easy, no. But plan a date night with the hubs and a day for yourself once a month or more if you’re able.
We need to maintain an ‘identity’ aside from being a mom. Have you discovered your passion in life? Things like career, hobbies, pastimes, that you do just for you. Devote time to building your passion just as you do to being a mother.
I’m going thru the exact same thing! Feels good to hear someone else say it.
Make time for yourself. I only have one child and while I was being super Mom and super girlfriend I completely lost myself. I make time for myself every single day now. I put myself on the front burner. It could be taking a bath, reading a book outside or watching a show I like or even going out with friends. Being a Mom was not my only purpose or reason for being on this Earth. I stress ALL the time. It caused me to have a mental breakdown/anxiety attack a few weeks ago. I couldn’t get out of bed for days and thought I was going to die. Stress led to that. I am learning to let the small shit go and some days are harder than others. Good Luck lady. I hope it gets better for you.
For the anxiety, CBD. Can’t promote this enough! I take gummies everyday. You don’t get high, natural, no side effects.
I have no advice but I am in the exact same situation. Good luck.
Then you need to get a different therapist.
He needs to grow up.
I’m glad you are able to talk to each other. Set up a schedule for the kids. Have them in bed by 8:00 or 8:30. This will give yo time for each other. Take time for yourself too. Have him make dinner a couple times a week, go for a walk, call your girlfriends and have a good laugh, My point is you have to share the responsibility of raising these beautiful people.
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Your husband ain’t the one that gave birth three times
Now is he?
He don’t understand wat ur going thru and he never will , so he has no room to make u feel worse about urself
You have ever right to feel how u are feeling
Anxious or not
Cranky or not
Tht is you and he should love ever part of it
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Does he do his fair share of parenting ?
That usually is a huge issue .
Do you all try to set aside time just for the two of you, away from the kids .
Thats why I’m going stay single all my life , love just me take care of just me. Married life is to much stress.Men is stress.
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Does he help much around the house? If not insist he get off his @$$ and help. Before anyone jumps on me, he can work and help with the housework and children. This is not the 50s where if the husband goes to work he’s done his part.
I miss the me before I had my child, too. It took something out of me. That doesn’t mean I don’t love anyone any less, I just…I’m not me anymore and I miss it
Enjoy those babies while they are little. You have your husband all your life. Those babies only a few short years. I miss my babies. Their life’s are so hard now. Facing /his world is hard now days.
%I’ve them a happy childhood
Always make a date night for you and hubby keep your connection strong thats very important
Agom Joel Ardales Mangampo
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Evonne Zyna. And? You’re “now” on your own! All because when your “kids” are gone? There’s no “us”!
Should have thought about this before you did the kid thing!
If you two were happy together, kids know that the environment is good for them and go from there!
And yes, I’ve perused your bio!
It only reinforces my statements since your outside activities state, interested in “oils”?
Go figure why you’re alone!
Sorry, been there and did it twice!
You’re going to be “lonely” in the end since kids grow up and “get” their own lives!
You’re flat out wrong!
Find a different counselor
Get a new therapist.
Well…Responsibility sucks 