Me and my kids father are separated but co parent really well. We even do family days with our child sometimes.
Kids Father used to live with his mother and brother, then lived on his own and about 2 years ago moved in with his mother and sister after abit of a mental breakdown (was only suppose to be 6months but I understand things change). Sister moved out just over a year ago and now its just him and his mother. Our child spends 2 nights a week with dad at dads/nan’s house. Ever since I was pregnant there’s always been drama with his mother in regards to our child, very manipulative, narcissistic and a compulsive liar.
Father told his mother last year that he will be moving out once the lease is up. Lease renewal happened and he signed for what he thought was 6 months and she tricked him and changed the form to 12 month. (Was always 6month leases before this) Anyway once he told his mother he will be getting his own place once this lease is over she then threatened to take me to mediation (I think because she isn’t getting the “companionship” from her son and is afraid of being alone) which we went to, to have our child every couple weekends “ALONE”. But she already has the opportunity to spend time with our child a couple times a week even if it is only for a short time. But as I’ve been told by father and child. His mother will just relax on her bed or do laundry when she has so many opportunities to spend time with our child when at their house even if it is only for a short time. The dad even invites her to places sometimes with them and she either takes up another shift at work, double books herself, decides to stay home or has a sulk and decides not to go because she hasn’t been left a hand written invitation (not literally but thats the way the son sees it)
Now she has threatened me with court a few times through text and voicemail which stresses me out more as we shouldn’t be put in this situation when she already has many opportunities to spent time with our child. Our child almost every week comes home to me upset about something saying, " Nana is being mean or nana asked me all these different questions and forced me to answer her" (manipulating and acting like she cares but she just wants information about me and our life) I’ve had enough with seeing our child put in this situation as well as myself and the stress and anxiety that comes with it. Every week I’m anxious about our child going there because of what the Nana is going to say and do and the effects it has on our child.
An opportunity has risen for us to move to another area (a couple hours away) where i will have a few more opportunities of work and father has agreed and he will see our child every fortnight instead of week but because our child will be homeschooling, child will be able to spend the whole time with dad instead of the time being at school. And holidays he can have child for longer periods of time. (But dad may move closer to where we are planning on moving also which will be good for this whole situation i believe) we will be sending off an updated parenting consent order.
Thankyou for reading this far, I hope it makes sense 
So my questions are,
- Has anyone been through similar ?
- what was your outcome ?
- does anyone have any supportive advice?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone been through similar?
I have not but since dad is agreeing to it, it seems like a good idea to go. The mom can’t stop you from moving. I’d look to see if your state has grandparent rights also. Does dad do anything when his mom is asking these questions to your child?
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I doubt she can do anything legally, grandparents rights aren’t real in most states. Move away from her, and I’d just ignore the woman’s existence and have the father visit with the child at your own home or somewhere else the grandmother isn’t around.
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Good luck with her lol. A lot of the times the grandparents are a lot worse than the co parent 
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Grandparents rights arent a thing in every state. I have issues with my eldest grandmother too… She told me she has rights and will strip me of mine. I told her to go ahead and havent heard from her in over a year. Good luck. Sounds like moving would be a good idea. Especially since the co parent is on board.
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Only a handful of states have grandparents “rights” but depending on the age of the child, they can always says no.
I’d talk yo dad & let him know you understand this spot in life but this mother is a problem & you don’t want her alone with your child.
Then, y’all move, asap.
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I’m not quite understanding. Did you go to mediation & she somehow got custodial rights? I’m unfamiliar with this type of this situation. If you aren’t court ordered to allow nana visitation I think your move is best. Please don’t let dad use homeschooling as an excuse to interrupt your routine though. Homeschooling doesn’t mean the child is just home. It’s going to work best with routine & consistency.
I think you and your husband agree that she is toxic to your child & she should be allowed to be alone with her due to the mental anguish she’s putting him through. I would write down dates & times he has come home upset & what he says & keep a log. I think it should be dad’s responsibility to monitor the visits between them & if she gets out of hand he needs to remove the child from the situation. You don’t need to worry about her threatening court - she’s just trying to bully you & if she does, I think the attorney would agree with you. If I were the Judge, I would say she can only have supervised visitation with child.
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Grandparents laws is only offered in select states. As long as you and the father are in agreement I wouldn’t worry to much about it. If it’s offered in your state the court will give a scheduling and they will make compromises for both of you in the schedule. I would start keep track of all contacts with her and the harassment
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In our state grandparents have zero right. They cannot take you to court unless you just want to spend money for the hell of it. And instead of giving dad an out he sounds like a full grown adult that knows how to read. It’s his responsibility to also protect your child especially if it’s from his family.
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Absent grandparents love to threaten shit to gaslight people.
Grandparents rights are not a thing in most states.
Her narcissist butt isn’t spending money on a lawyer, hell she can even afford the rent. Stop playing her games
In NC, grandparents have no rights.
Let her have at it. She’s bullying you. She has no leg to stand on. Laugh at her and tell her to knock herself out.
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Is ur ex/her son playing ur off against each other? As In telling ye both what ye want to hear… she literally has no rights anyway and once ye have some sort of evidence of u trying to get her to spend time with her then she hasn’t a leg to stand on ur child also sounds old enough to speak for herself aswell … i pitty u girl when all u want todo is give her a better life do u fuck her
Grandparents have no rights. She can’t legally do anything. You are allowing her stress you out and cause drama. Don’t. Don’t let her. Do what you need to for your fam, work it out with dad and don’t even entertain her bs. If you stop acknowledging that her behavior is upsetting then it will lose its power and she will stop. Good luck.
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Let her take you to court. in most states grandparents have no rights. You might want to check the laws in your state though. I think it would be great uf you relocated away from her. I think it would be great if your ex husband relocated closer to your new location as well. Both of you and also your child will most likely be better off away from this fruit loop woman’s. I do believe she is a nut case!
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Find out the grandparent law for where you live now and where you’re moving. Some places allow for grandparent visitation. That said if she tries anything she’d have to prove to the courts that her not being able to see kid is harming kid.
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Also leases can be broken. Have him seek an attorney to find out his options of getting out of that place.
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Take all your texts and threats and go to court and get her signed away from your child before she turns your child into her. Why are you even allowing her to have access to ruining your child? Your job and his job is to protect the child and he’s not doing it so you need to step up and do it until he has his own place and understands his mother is a very sick person in the head.
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I’d literally tell that woman she doesn’t have a leg to stand on and take you to court. Call her bluff. Since you and the ex have a mutual agreement on to how this woman is, if she does take you to court, you guys need to go in as a team and shut that s*it down. Also shes making your child uncomfortable by being mean ect, the courts wouldn’t be ok with that.
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The only way that she can do anything is if in fact she has some kind of legal guardianship or agreement set up through court concerning said child - if the dad is willing to work with you for the best interest of your child don’t worry about what “nan” has to say and continue on with your co-parenting wherever it need be done and if the dad is in agreement with you let the “nan” do what she thinks she can do but go on with your plans and don’t worry about an issue that isn’t really an issue until the “nan” truly does something to make it one and by the sounds of things she doesn’t have anything but a lot of words that should be falling upon deaf ears bc that is just what they are useless words that she will won’t do anything with - she just wants to bully both you and child’s dad into getting her way. Good luck and God Bless for doing what is best for you, your child and even the dad.
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This child has a mother and father who co parent well and are in agreement about moving and new visitation…tell grandma to butt out and behave herself or you’ll have court cut off her presence in your child’s life completely .
Willie Doerr maybe she needs the mans version of “what happened”
With her dad involved, the Grandma really doesn’t have any rights so don’t even spend a second worrying about that. If she wants to spend her money talking to a lawyer and fighting a losing battle, let her. If it even made it to court it would be thrown out. Do what’s best for your family. I wouldn’t waste time with mediation either, there’s no reason for it.
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If you and father agree that she is toxic to the benefits of child then cut her off. She does NOT have any grandparents right. That only falls into place if one parent dies or if parent is deemed unfit by the judge.
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Depending on the state grandparents don’t have rights and if the state does give grandparent right the grandparent has to prove in court that you are an unfit parent. You would have to be a child abuser and DHS would check you out or a drug abuser who neglects her child. You hold the cards and can even set the boundaries under which she sees your child. Your only problem is the dads rights. Discuss a legal agreement with the dad and stick to it. Gramom will straighten out real quick or only see your child within fathers rights.
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Grandparents dont have rights usually unless their son or daughter is dead…so I would look up the laws for your state. It sounds like just an empty threat to make u anxious. If it were to go to court she would probably be laughed out of it. Relax and do what’s best for you guys.
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Best advice right here… don’t worry about his mother! She’s playing the victim. Unless you and/or dad are unfit, there isn’t much she can do. Let her waste her time and money trying to take you to court. You and Dad continue to co-parent and do what’s best for your child(ren).
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If she is questioning your child, she possibly could also be recording his forced responses. I would be very alarmed. Some states grandparents have rights and some do not, but anybody could try to file for custody or make your life miserable by calling DCS and making some kind of allegation and her having the “proof” because she manipulates your child to say things.
I think moving away from her would be best for your child. Hopefully the father will be able to get out of the lease and move closer also.
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It’s kind of crazy that she scares you like that. Pay no mind. Your just feeding her need to make you stress. This is honestly laughable.
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She is crazy and loves drama.
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She can’t take you to court about nothing if the father of your child agrees that you a good mum and only wants his child x amount of days a month or whatever if you and the father have a civil agreement she has no leg to stand on just tell her to do it she will look like a w*nker.
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Let her try and take you to court. Just a threat and it works, gets you all stressed. I had to deal with that when my husband died and his mother threatened to take off with our kids, so I stopped the visitations, she threatened to take me to court a few times and even had the governor send me a letter stating he would support her, I never backed down and she never took me to court. And yes I live in a state where grandparents have rights. Don’t let her bully you! You and dad do what is best for YOUR kiddo!
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Most states don’t have grandparent rights, therefore she can’t do anything to you. Just do what you feel is best for your child.
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Block her on all of your social accounts and change your phone number. There is no reason why she needs to contact you. In most/all states grandparents don’t have any rights.
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She dosent have any rights and also from what ive read shes abusing you child mentally id report her to child services.
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Record EVERYTHING. Have the proof that she’s emotionally abusing your child just for the sake of it. As far as Grandparents’ rights go, every state is different. If she’s too lazy to actually bond with the kid while the kid is there, I doubt she will put in the time and money to sue for grandparents rights.
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If I were you, I would save every voicemail and every text, from Dad, to you, And from grandma to you, when you get a court notice, hire a lawyer. Have all you documents handy and head on to court. I would prolly even record the conversation, with your child, when he’s telling you about grandma. As to my knowledge, there are many states, that have No grandparent rights, but, some there is. Let’s hope Dad is on the same page with you and stays on the same page with you!!
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So, if Dad moves out, doesn’t take kid around her and neither do you, there is no standing for any court case for her.
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She is the grand mother not the parent. Let her take you to court. Document everything. She sounds toxic.
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I would record what your child says about her as well. Cover your backside! Take nothing for granted. Be proactive and get a lawyer
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How do you know all this your in to it too much why do you believe everything he tells you he’s getting crushed between the two of you of coarse he has to fib go to a lawyer find out what she can or can not do consultations aren’t to much money back off let them duke it out
I’ve lived this nightmare with two children and I finally moved out of state to get my youngest child away from a manipulative grandmother. My oldest had already succumbed to her bs and it all but ruined my relationship with my son. Run as fast and as far as you can from her. I know it sounds mean but YOU have to save your children from this crap! Love and hugs… it’s not easy❤️
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Since Dad agrees … do it! If there’s no order from family court with him regarding child support or visitation, you can move to another state if you wish. I’d make this move ASAP!!! Keep the Dad on board before he changes his mind due to his “unfit” mother!
The “Nana” is narcissistic. My bio mother is the same … NO changing a person like this!!!
Most states do not have “grandparents rights”, and I am praying this is your current situation. File a restraining order (RO) for harassment. Keep all voicemails and texts to bring to court for making the RO permanent.
If you co-parent with your ex as you’ve explained, ask him to visit with his child at your place of residence or somewhere neutral. Based on your post, I don’t know how old your child is; however, the grandmother has no say so.
RUN, RUN, RUN!!!
Grandparents rights are definitely a thing in the US, but it’s also EXTREMELY difficult to have it awarded. From what you’ve said, she wouldn’t stand a chance.
Beyond that, as long as you have dad’s blessing, make the move. If you want to be 100% certain that you’re good to go, be sure to get everything updated with the courts.
Record everything. Block her. She can take you to court all she wants but it sounds like you offer her time and the judge will prolly be annoyed you used up his time… grandparents don’t have any leg to stand on unless child is being abused by both parents…
The whole taking you to you court thing to get “visitation” she can just shove it up her ass. The only time a court will remotely consider taking on the case for visitation is in the event one parent has passed or the kids are in custody of a third party. (Rarely, but it can happen) This also greatly depends on your area, but where the child is there 2 nights a week, the judge and court will just laugh her out of the building. You and your ex are doing a great job co-parenting. My constructive advice would be to document everything in regards to the “nana”, take the job and move. Change is good for you. Some people are just naturally toxic.
Eliminate her from your son’s life and yours. No regrets