Has anyone ever lived in a shelter?

I left my son’s father a few months ago and have been having my Ups & downs… I finally got a spot, gave them my savings, and moved my stuff in… only to find out it was a scam. My sons father took him back while I tried to figure out something. I was staying at air bnbs in the meantime. My sons father called me suicidal, sending me photos of guns and talking about killing himself… so I picked him up two nights ago… my air bnb told me he had to be gone today bc he’s so active and loud. This is the second spot we’ve been made to leave (when I first left his father I took him) bc he’s super active….

I have really bad anxiety and every time I think of being in a shelter with my son during a pandemic I really start to panic but I know that’s my only option. His father won’t take him unless I sign over my rights…. I guess I’m looking for some direction. Anyone have experience with the shelter? I called 211 several months ago when I first left and they basically said the shelters Up here were full…and I’d have to take him to south jersey in the middle of no where. I already lost my telemarketing job bc I can’t quietly answer phones with a yelling 2 year old, or while outside… and I can’t ever get an overnight sitter, so I can’t bartend this week…. I’m so desperate, and just defeated.
I’m currently trying to get the money to get a storage unit bc I have a bunch of bags… but honestly I’m about to just have everything that my son doesn’t need bc I’m just over everything

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone ever lived in a shelter?

if you ever find yourself in wyoming girl FIND me. you and your baby will be welcomed with open arms!!!

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Churches
Women and children’s shelters.
Honestly if you need to move to different county then do it. Try your best to stay out of huge overcrowded cities. And if worse comes to worse contact the department of child services they are always willing to help and keep a child with their mother and help you find child care, job, housing. Stay strong momma, you got this

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I don’t know what it’s like from an adults perspective but I lived in a shelter as a kid. They had a family center and had a lot of things for the kids such as child care, after school programs, and just family events. I can’t really remember little ones your sons age but I’m sure they have something to help out with. I remember them helping with bus tokens for the parents so they can get to work or look for jobs. I’m sorry you are going through this and I hope you can find the help and resources you need for you and your son. I’ll say a prayer for you and just keep pushing and don’t give up❤️

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Where do you live ??

You mentioned NJ. I personally have never been through this but I had a close friend (a little different of a situation but also had no where to go). She went to the welfare office and because she had a kid they put her in a hotel for a few months. That was Camden county NJ, so I’m not sure if it’s the same everywhere. But maybe that’s worth a try. You’re in my prayers :green_heart:

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I have, with my two younger kids and pregnant with #4 some shelters are good about protecting the women and children. The one I got into was a blessing in disguise now in my own place waiting for my daughter to be born.

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You are in NJ- Family promise of ocean county could help. There are a couple of steps you have to go through, but they should be able to get you set up with some kind of housing. I have a friend who works closely with them. 609-994-3317 is the number. Best of luck to you.

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There might be emergency housing in your county/ low income apartments, check with family services or housing authority if you have one there

Contact a local church, they will help more than you think.

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Women’s shelters are so much more comfortable than regular shelters. Don’t be afraid to go to one. U will get lots of help and advice there.

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I was in a family shelter. The welfare office placed me and my husband (ex) when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had to leave the county I was from and move to a town I didn’t even know existed was hard but I did it bcuz I knew we needed to it’s hard to leave the place ur used to but if it’s for u and ur child then do it hun. Family shelters are pretty good the one I was in set me up with a case manager and a housing coordinator and the families ehh some u mesh with some u don’t but did meet a few nice ones in there. But the shelter can help u find housing ALOT quicker and I know where I’m from (mass) being in a shelter actually helps u get in faster than if you weren’t in one. I didn’t get a housing authority opportunity but I did end up getting a program where they paid first last and security and half my rent for a year. But you gotta do what u gotta do for u and ur child hun you don’t want cps to get involved due to u being homeless and not doing much about it…cps in my state took my other children due to me being homeless I was trying but was hard to get into a shelter again anywhere they were all so full so they ended up taking my other children so do what’s best for ur child hun

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I was homeless 2 years ago. I applied for section 8, which i knew would be awhile. A friend told me that when she was a social worker, she found that people who actually go to hud or sec8/low income apartment buildings in person and fill out applications, you get in much faster. I tried it after sitting on the sec8 list for 9 months, and they called me 3 weeks later. They use a point system. Being homeless, what i would consider a domestic abuse situation, and having a child should all give you points enough to get you on the top of the list. Give it a shot, you never know!

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Please don’t sign over your rights. Everyone goes through hard times but I promise if your ex is being suicidal your son will not forget those moments.

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I’ve had to stay at a shelter with my kids and it wasn’t too bad. There were other moms in the same situation so I didn’t feel so alone.

It wasn’t a good situation at all for me. They has required outings and chores, told me when and how to discipline my child, called cps on me saying I wasn’t taking care of my new born son who had streaks in his diaper from constipation and trying to find a formula that worked. Everything was awful and one worker got fired for coming at my kid and others with a switch and dragging my 3 year old daughter by her wrist… several single moms were kicked out and cps called. Be very very careful. I refused to kiss ass and feed into their religious bs or force my kid.

Try your local food stamps office. They typically have cash assistance you can get and may have other resources for emergency housing. My therapist is a great resource for me. When I was considering moving w my children on my own she had housing options that were specifically for single mothers and children.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone ever lived in a shelter?

Are you in NJ? You can call social services and PROCEED there are a lot of resources available you can also try the YWCA as a social worker some of the places I’ve seen been nice or at least put you in a hotel also see for subsidized daycare for your little one during the day! best wishes :purple_heart:

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Yes it’s not that bad an they have a lot of resources to help you get on you feet. An they understand kids I had six small children at the time I left my husband it seems like a lot at first but it does get easier. Some will even pick you and your things up if needed. I didn’t want to at first but glad I did. Prayers for you an your little one.

Dony give up your rightd ever! Go to churches, maybe ask at a fire dept or police station. Call social services immediately and tell them all of this. Ive been on the streets and it’s so hard, im so sorry. Hopefully you’ll get more help because you have a child. Good luck I’ll be thinking of you and praying

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I’m in south jersey and there’s tons of places hiring so employment wouldn’t be too hard.

The family shelter I went to was amazing :heart: I had anxiety over it too but it wasn’t as bad as I thought I’m glad I did it

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Why is your son, yelling and so loud? I understand fully your need for shelter, addressed many times above. I’d be addressing that asap.

Carol Dvoor is a wonderful resource in NJ. I also live here. I’m sure we can help you find resources.

This is local to me. Please PM me if you need help