Has anyone had the father denied custody?

Has anyone been in an abusive relationship where the father was denied custody? I hear that it rarely happens, and I want to see if that’s true. If the judge did deny visitations to the father, what was the reason/circumstances behind it? Trying to protect my baby and not having much luck.


Yes I have and later I took all rights away from him in court n hes rights are now signed off

1 Like

My son’s father was physically violent towards me while I was pregnant. Because of that he isnt allowed visitation or anything until he finishes a batter’s treatment program and petitions the court to change their decision

1 Like

My friend is going thru a bad divorce. Husband was abusive towards her in an argument in front of the kids. She got an emergency protective order against him and he wasn’t allowed near her, the house or the kids or their school until they went to court (2 weeks) after that they worked out a deal, where he could see the kids every other weekend but he wasn’t allowed at their house any longer and wasn’t allowed to contact her unless it was in regards to the kids. I think he would have been denied custody unless supervised if she hadn’t agreed to it in mediation before court.

1 Like

Generally in that situation if visitation is allowed it’s required to be supervised.

1 Like

I am disabled because of my ex-husband beating me, he also abuses the children he got full custody while I ended up having supervised visitation because of his lies being believed and I was made out to be the liar. For for a restraining order for you and your child that will help, you can also ask for supervised visitation.

My kids father choked me infront of our daughter who was a year old at the time and he still gets visitation he does have to take a class tho

Custody denied yes. Visitation not often. My ex has visitation but no custody.

1 Like

During one of the violent situations, has the cops been called and pictures taken? I kniw if he’s charged with assault and battery, you can push the issue of him not getting custody due to being scared for your life as well as for your child’s life. You can also push to have supervised visitation if the court urges the father to still have visitation with the child. I was in an abusive relationship with my children’s father, we were married. I got physical and sole custody where he had supervised visitation yet, he doesnt take on his responsibilities for his 2 kids. I had him served while in jail the divorce papers

1 Like

I have 100 percent physical and legal custody of both of my daughters. But the father has supervised visits.

1 Like

I filed an RO when my son was 2 months. That determined I had full custody and he would have been granted supervised visits if he went through drug and anger classes. He never took those classes. My son is going to be six next month, he hasn’t seen him since he was 2 months. Courts also granted me the ability to move. I met my now husband and he was able to adopt our son Christmas 2017.


Witnesses, police called, restraining order (emergency or otherwise): document, document, document. Talk to friends about what he did and record the conversation, have them testify for you & against him in court. Go to the doc/clinic/hospital & have them document any injuries. Ask fellow workers to testify about your injuries or talking about your abuse if appropriate. Get kids to talk to a therapist who will testify for them. Document as much as you can so it’s not a “he said, she said” situation.

God forbid your kids are being abused, but if so, get the school to help, though check if CPS will hold you responsible for keeping them in an abusive situation unless you can prove you are actively trying to get out.

Talk to a lawyer & ask what steps to take in your state to keep dad away. Supervised visits AT THE COURTHOUSE is best option. Don’t let him ask for his mom to be the one supervising at his place, for example.

1 Like

My ex demonstrated abuse in court. Not physical but emotional & financial. I had help from a friend. But I was given sole custody. I make all decisions. He was granted 1 phone call a week at my & my children’s disgression. He gave up after 12 weeks. Now he has none. Rights aren’t completely gone as he can bring me back to court. But he won’t get far.

Question for OP. Is baby born yet? If not don’t put him on the bc. Move away from him before baby is born. Preferably out of state. If you’re not married you will have sole custody until/unless he files for visitation. He has to do where you live. Document/record every conservation, keep every text, file police reports, obtain a PPO (tell them you want your address kept confidential). The longer the paper trail the better. Get into counseling through a DV agency. They will help you deal with the emotional affects of the abuse as well legal aspects. If he’s not on the BC don’t tell your counselor his name. Refer to as a different name or initial. They will contact him without you knowing. I thought it was against HIPPA. But it’s not if they’re trying to get him to work their program with you.

1 Like

Usually the judge grants custody to whoever the child is already living with

1 Like

I had a wife that wanted to place our kids in Forster care.because she didt want me to have them.so it’s not just father’s.mother do it to.just saying. Fathers are great parents to.for all good dads.

By the way it didt happen I got my babys they are all grown up and have good lifes

Is this a wind up? Do you know how many mums are making false allegations of abuse to gain the upper hand in family court and the dads and children are suffering because they are being kept apart. Its very common so i dont know where you get the idea dads are hardly ever stopped from seeing their kids

My ex beat the crap out my while holding my daughter and the judge gave him joint custody. It depends on the judge. Some dont equate spousal abuse as enough to deny custody

1 Like

But I actually had a RO, police reports, pictures and witnesses.

1 Like

Custody AND visitation both denied! Took an 8 year court battle to achieve that but finally free of the bastard!

Custody and access have absolutely no relation to one another. He can have 0 custody rights but can still have visitation rights

The only time custody isn’t granted is if he harmed the child

Was entitled to supervised contact then i went to court again they said no contact whatsoever due to severity of criminal history


I filed a 3 year restraining order on my ex for harassment, and him threatening to kill both me and our daughter, while he was having to work a case plan to be even allowed cps supervised visitation. Once I was granted that a judge found it best for me to have sole custody and him to not even get visitation unless he did this long list of stuff for the courts and then he still would only have a slight possibility to have supervised visits. He still hasn’t done that and I’ve moved out of state but you can have custody and visitation striped for something serious.


My mom got sole custody of my sister with no visitation when she was little, but it was mainly to do with a case I had filed against him. Let’s just say, my charges were severe enough that he shouldn’t be alone with a child.

I did… He was only able to get supervised visits IF he had a mental heath evaluation… I have sole custody… The judge in my case backed me all the way… He never did get that eval done so he had no access to my son unless i set something up myself… I had a restraining order when we went to court he was ordered to pay child support too… Also an abusive relationship i escaped

1 Like

Yes I’ve got it :100:.due to domestic violence,drug addiction,alcohol addiction,criminal he ended up signing the kids away so no contact nothing till the kids are over 18 .


My ex brother in law choked my nephew and beat my sister more than once. CPS was involved and he still got visition. But he also was put on probation. Sole or full custody doesnt mean you can keep them from their dad. It just means they remain with you most of the time. He still had all his rights. A lot of people think sole or full custody means that they have full say, and they really dont. Even though you may have full or sole custody, he is still the dad and can demand to see them. Only the judge can tell him he cant.

1 Like

Usually the kids have to be victims of their parent for the parent to lose visitation.

My daughters sperm donor had all his rights stripped away by the state. He had a big list of domestics against him and he just didnt care enough to even show up to court or to anything that was ordered.

I got sole physical custody of my boys. He was not granted visitation in our custody case. He was an abusive alcoholic who tried beating me to death in front of our children.

It’s too hard to determine as every case is different - so anyone sharing their experience is good but also has no relevance to you.

You have to prove he’s a danger to the kids.

Report report report everything.

Dies he have any domestic violence charges. Also, you really don’t have to let the kiddo go. The police will not force you.

That’s depends on you. If your willing to document and file reports and prove the abuse happened you can def have visitation supervised or maybe even get a restraining order if it’s bad enough.

It sounds like u really need to speak to an attorney

I took all rights from my exhusband in my divorce

I couldn’t deny custody, but I got supervised visits

Custody and visitation are two different things. Do you mean to ask about anyone being in an abusive relationship where the father was denied visitation?

1 Like

Visitation and custody are 2 different things. He can be denied custody but still get visitation.


My case he abused me and the kids they made us hire a guardian adlitem which she by the way totally fell for his bullshit! Supervised visits were started after 6 he was given every other weekend

It’s pretty hard for the judge to put limitations on the father even in abuse cases i found that out my self recently which pisses me off .

My baby’s dad was abusive (lost his job as a cop because of it) and had mental health issues he refused to get help for and the courts still have him joint custody

1 Like

not abusive or anything… but our case is on the verge of dismissal due to his inability to cooperate with court appointed things.

Mine has no visitiation and or custody. He was physically and emotionally abusive with a drug problem. He tried fighting for joint custody but it didn’t happen.

1 Like

Or your looking for ways to hurt your ex by by stopping him from seeing his kid, always 2 sides to every story


A judge will tell you that a relationship with both parents is imperative to the child. Unless theres proof that child been abused.


Depends what state your in

My ex was homeless and judge still gave him 50/50 custody!!


11 yrs ago i was in a decent relationship with the man i wanted to make forever with. So much as we planned to have our baby together. When he found out he was estatic, as the month went by and the more reality set in thats when he became mean. Controlling, jealous, manipulative the whole nine. Abused me mentally, physically and even sexually too. Cut me off from friends family, hell i couldnt even go to the store by myself. I couldnt dress up for him or i was cheating. i stayed why idk but i did. I did until our son was a yr and a half was able to plan a way out but still left with bruises. I went to the cops and took pictures and pressed charges. He was arrested and we had to go to domestic violence court before custody or visitation. I won in domestic violence court and that immediately awarded me sole custody of our son. He was to have supervised visits once a week for 3 hrs. Only he barely showed or was basically so late it wasnt worth it. Then in 2012 he left state and that was the last time he seen or even attepted to see him. I fought until our son was 8 or 9 for the child support he owed and he’s finally paying the 17,000 plus he owes. When i met my now husband my son asked him to adopt him and he did. His dna donor no longer has rights but still has to pay what he owes. And honestly i dont really care about the money, I’ve always just wanted him to be in the picture cuz it was hard af on my own but you can’t force any situation and you cant make anyone be a dad if they dont want too. Good luck somehow it turns out to be okay hust takes time and all the fight you have inside for your child


if there is reason to believe a child is at risk you can request supervised visits. But you need proof and if they behave at all visits and stay out of trouble it can be revised in court after a year in most places

1 Like

My kids father is not allowed visitation. I also have sole custody of our 2 kids.

Not me but my friend. Her baby daddy lost his rights when an atm camera caught him running her over with his truck.


TBH in most cases (of course this varies likely by judge and state,) they have to do something extreme to get everything taken away. They can have visitations and no custody. Examples, my ex abusive husband before I knew him and before we ever got married (nobody told me about this either until after we married and had kids) had his kids taken away because he gave one shaken baby syndrome and the other child he twisted her leg until it broke among other things…he and his then wife were allowed visitations up until the day the kids were placed in to foster care and adopted out even though they had no custody. Another example, a friend from high schools now ex husband was shaking their daughter and giving her shaken baby to the point where she was having non stop seizures and constantly hospitalized. At the time she didn’t know because she was always at work and for a while the drs couldn’t see any physical abuse and couldn’t determine what was causing it. Eventually, he fessed up and admitted it. For years she battled the court and while he had no custody, they did allow visitations until she finally showed them the proof, he went to jail for a year or 2 and with proof they took everything from him. You’ll likely either need a lawyer or something and some evidence to prove why he shouldn’t have either.

I was. He was also an alcoholic along with physically and verbally abusive. In the past 7 yrs I sure have had my share of battles in court with him. He’s lost custody based off his behavior a couple times, but this last time has been the longest. He fits the category of narcissist. He even quite his job after we split so he didnt have to pay as much child support and hasn’t worked since and is currently on house arrest for his 3rd DUI. Like I said tho, it was hard getting sole custody. We had a different judge every time and they were all different in what they believed was right and wrong. He does have the right to try and get custody back but they made it a lot harder for him to do so this time around. And in the past two yrs he hasn’t even tried.

As for him losing custody based off our abusive relationship…no. They didnt care much unless he was doing it to the kids. Later on he was becoming abusive towards them and the kids told the GAL they didnt want to see him anymore. Hence why he lost custody for the 3rd time, along with not showing up to court. I would suggest obtaining a GAL if you feel your kids are being abused in some way when they are with your ex. They are the voice of the children when two parents can’t get along or come to an agreement. And the judges value their opinion over the parents usually. I truly hope your situation goes a lot smoother than mine did hun :slight_smile: it’s worth it in the end tho. Just keep fighting for what’s right.

1 Like

If the abuse was only toward you and not the kids, the father will most likely get visitation. Is there any proof of abuse? If there is, he will be ordered to attend anger management classes which will benefit all of you in the end. Kids need both parents and the court will only be concerned with what is best for the children and not you or him.

1 Like

My daughters father is a predator… proof of abuse…everything and judge didnt care n we got 50/50… :sob:


A close friend of mine was denied custody of his son even though his ex wife was the abuser. She ended up losing custody to him because their sons teachers contacted child services. Now the kid is doing great in school and his health is all around better now that he is with his dad .

1 Like

I would only allow supervised visits due to his drug use and couldn’t pass repeated hair follicle testing.

My ex turned up to court drunk, PR was not revoked, but contact was by my email address only. He had a history of drink & drugs miss-use. Only in court for 10 minutes.

Domestic violence here. He lost all of his visitation rights and will have to take me to court if he wants to see our daughter. The judge made that very clear that he would only see her if he showed proof to him or out of the kindness of my heart. He hasn’t seen or had contact of any kind since June 2018

1 Like

If a judge finds Domestic Violence in a relationship they can order Sole Decision Making. That is different then custody and visitation. If there isn’t a safety concern for the children usually they don’t deny partial custody or visitation.

A violent felony record will get supervised visits… a record and a failed drug test will get all custody requests denied

My ex husband had mental health problems and I was awarded sole custody

Ask for supervised visits. When I did that my ex just refused to go to the center

Can anyone tell me what proof you need or how to get it?

Although in my situation custody would be denied because he’s been absent for her entire life so won’t let her go with a stranger as he lives 2,000 miles away.

It took 4 years and thousands of dollars. After speaking to my child 3 different times over those years, the judge FINALLY listened and gave the power to my child to reach out IF and when they want contact with their bio father. Crazy that children have to end up in the hospital or with broken bones, etc before a judge will take away parental rights.

My baby daddy lost rights because he harmed me while i was holding my child, so far its taken over a year and a half, multiple court dates, and multiple times ive had to turn him in for breaking the no contract order. A bridge order is being taken out for me to get full custody of my now 1 year old daughter. he’s getting debited visitations because he’s in prison and the process still isnt over yet.

It’s so hard. I just straight up got my case dismissed by a commissioner the other day even though I proved my ex is very mentally & physically abusive to myself & our son. Good luck though.


I did and it was bc he was abusive and wasn’t doing anything to provide for my daughter now on my sons there dad was on drugs and abusive and telling lies so he was denied

My ex-husband was granted supervised visitation in an access centre,legally he has no right to my son other than that. He has never tried to gain access in 9years. I was able to prove abuse(in multiple forms) and gain a restraining order in not just mine but my son’s name as well,as soon as that was granted he was automatically deemed unsafe/untrustworthy so I was given final custody.

My Son’s father was denied access by the courts ,he was permitted to write letters. He was abusive during a supervised visitation and often hid in bushes outside the center. 20 years later they do have a relationship . Sending love .

Physical proof such as police reports medical reports threatening messages etc will help at least in your case if you can prove there is some sort of abuse

My ex husband was abusive towards me and our kids. Was charged and convicted of misdemeanor child abuse … was even doing supervised visit thru an organization called SCAN during the court proceedings… the supervisor would leave him alone with the kids during the visits … kids told this to their GAL… courts did nothing … he later married the woman who was supervising the visits and the got Unsupervised every other weekend … kids complained ever visit return … youngest started wetting the bed… this all occurred from 2011 thru 2012 … I left , a court battle, a divorce… a remarry (on his part )… visitation … which I might ad he later beat her went to jail and they divorced … he had tried seeing the kids since 2012 …

Guess I was lucky court mandated supervised visits. ( to be supervised by his mom as she was a foster parent) His mother called the court and said she would never supervise a visit between them because it would be better that my child didnt know her father and that was that.

My daughter had files full of documented proof that her ex was an abusive father. Female judge didnt even look at the evidence. Gave the father unsupervised overnight visitation. Massachusetts is a judicial horror story.

In my situation, my son’s father still got visitation even tho he was abusive to me. The judge said as long as he is good to the child and doesn’t abuse him then he has every right to visitation.

If the truth isn’t getting you what you want. You can’t manufacture things to get what you do.

My ex backhanded me busting my lip and had abused me physically and mentally for five years and my son had ptsd and a developmental delay because of it and they denied him custody. I was the one who basically had to fight for his rights.