Has your kid ever said something like this?

My 4 yr old out of the blue said " mommy you don't love me" ..

Like why would she say that ? Where did she even hear that from, that literally hurt my feelings.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has your kid ever said something like this?

My kid does that all the time. Mainly when she’s in trouble. It hurts my heart :sob:

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My 4 year old will say that sometimes when she’s mad at me :cry:

So young to make a choice like that on their own, I’d guess they heard it from elsewhere

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My eight year old constantly tells me I don’t love her or care about her. It’s just a kid thing.

Both mine say that when they get in trouble and our mad at me. It hurts but i always tell them i love them no matter what.

My 6 year old says that to me and my other 3 kids said it to me at that age too

All of my kids minus my 10 month old have said something similar. Don’t take it to heart. They don’t mean it or even comprehend what it means.

kids just be sayin shit. don’t let it get to u

My youngest says it a lot when she doesn’t get her way. She’s 9 but emotionally closer to a toddler. Little ones don’t fully understand love, so they need lots of reassurance.

Buckle up, you’re in for a bumpy ride… Kids can be jerks.

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My son woke up in the morning 2x last week and said mommy dead. And that scared me so much. He watched sharks on the Disney app before he went to sleep. So I hope to assume it has to do with that.

My child says things I’ve this along with I hate you or ur the worst mom ever … it used to get to me but she only says this when she is in trouble or can’t get her way…shes 5

Normal behaviour for a child of that age. As a mum of 7 and also an early childhood educator working with this age group, its normal. They understand love as you show and tell them you love them. They are unable to completely understand their emotions or express them. It’s very common. The child doesn’t understand the consequences of the statement which is hurting someone’s feelings. You are doing great. It’s not you It’s just kids that age.

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Ask why they feel that way, and try to understand their feelings or why they’d think that.

My son for the longest time was saying “nobody likes me”, and would cry, it broke my heart. Not really sure where he got it from, but I reassured him that we love him and he hasn’t said it for a while. I think he picked it up somwehere because I reached out to his teacher and she said he has no trouble playing with friends and such. Sometimes kids just pick things up somewhere and then see what happens when they say it.

My 3 year old says this when she’s in trouble or doesn’t get her way. It’s either “You don’t love me mommy” or “Well I don’t like nobody” while she stomps up the stairs :joy: Sometimes she even says “Get out of my house” Lord give me the strength :pray::rofl::heart:

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Family is about love, support and encouragement!

My son is almost 9 next month he has sever autism and intellectual disability and looked me dead in the face with all seriousness and said no more kisses. It broke my heart But at bedtime i got my sugars anyways.

I get “you love daddy more than me”… we’re separated. she is with me 100% of the time sleeps with me and is an only child :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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Yeh and he also said he doesn’t love me. It hurts but try not to take it personal. Kids go 0 to 100 with feelings because they are still learning. Even teenagers are still learning their emotions so I’m sure there will be times when they said that as their older too. I would just tell my son what makes you say that? Then tell him I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings, thank you for telling me. Just know I will always love you no matter what.

My boy came home from daycare, and told me, ‘I don’t care about you’, sad thing is, his best mate said it to him and laughed. So my boy thought it was a funny thing to say.

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Mines the other way around, I’ll ask my two year old if he loves me and his response is, " not yet."

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Weird to see this,
I was talking to my little ones & my 4 year old just said no you don’t.
I read books with them, sing bedtime songs every night… color with my girls, build blocks.
Cuddle with them when they want.
Made cupcakes with them that they decorated less then 2 weeks ago.
Spend a lot of time & was talking to my girls about how much I love them & I asked my 2-1/2yo you know I love you & she said yes :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I said you think your baby brother knows I love him (little man is 4mo & smiles & laughs all the time) they said yes❣
Then I said to my 4yo, you know I love you & she said no you don’t.
I talked to her & said I’d do anything for you, why don’t you think I love you & she just smiled an evil grin to me.
I didn’t expect that response but when I got it I was really thrown because I put my life around my babies.
Tonight when I put them to bed she said I love you mommy but that was the first time she said I didn’t & it kinda broke my heart to even hear that.

It’s totally normal. At that age they don’t understand that saying things like that hurts others feelings. I don’t remember all the hurtful things mine have said because it wasn’t often that those type of things were said but I do remember being told they hate me when they were in trouble. Try not to take it to heart. They really don’t mean it even as they get older and understand what they are saying.

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My kid (5) told me the other day mommy why do you hate me? I said what? He said you yell at me when im bad. That means you hate me.

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My 6 yr old says it when she gets in trouble or when I tell her no to something she wants etc

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My daughter was about 3 and I was putting her down for a nap. Of course she was emotional and didn’t want to but as I was walking out the room she says f you. I just turned and looked at her. She stopped and layed down. Turns out my neighbors teenager was playing a video game and while rage quitting dropped from very choice phrases. Never happened again.

It’s a generational thing I swear

My son just turned 5 and he has been saying things like that for the last year. “I don’t love you mom” “you’re not my best friend anymore mom” It stung bad the first time but I try to remind myself that he has the same big emotions that we do as adults but he’s in a smaller body and lacks the self control to regulate them. I tell him “I know you really don’t hate me bud, I love you even when you’re angry. And it’s okay to be angry. But it’s NOT ok to be mean.” Usually when he’s calm, he will come tell me he’s sorry for telling me he hates me and give me a hug. I don’t make him if he doesn’t want to but once he’s calm I remind him that words can hurt peoples hearts just as much as hitting them can and we need to be careful with our words especially when we are angry.
This is a good book for kids that age I Love You When You’re Angry I Love You When You're Angry: Winters, Erin, Bucher, Kaitin: 9781734346435: Amazon.com: Books

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My oldest… The things he said, hurt my heart!
What I learned was to “allow the feelings and talk about them”

I remember saying ~ I’m so sorry you are feeling that way. Please know that I love you always💕

Learned to redirect/teach ways to like/love “self”.

Then years later, my Mom said to my child, you’re so handsome, he said “I know” (:blush:)
My Mom accused me of raising a conceited child.
No Mom, that’s self confidence (because he didn’t/doesn’t take it overboard)

Kids are emotional terrorists. They are very good at making us feel bad when we hurt their feelings even when done unintentionally.

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Just say “I sure do” and leave it at that. Kids test words and phrases to see what kind of reaction they will get. If it gets your attention, and they want attention they will learn this and use it over and over again. The less you react, the easier it is from them to not make a deal about comments like this or comments like “I don’t like you”. They do it because they are smart and want to see your reaction and how to use it for the future. Just causally answer “I sure do “ and let it go

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Lol constantly. U don’t love me, u hate me, u wish u never had me, just kill me So you can finally be happy! An so on. He has never hugged me or ever said I love u. He’s 8 and aspergers anxiety and sensory.

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My kid at that age said, “I want to k-ll myself because in church they said if you die you go to heaven.” He also said that “no one loves him because he’s a boy.” Kids don’t understand these things. :confused:

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My 12 year old says some things that hurt me too
She’s giving me a whirlpool of emotional bliss
Her older sister was pretty chill so this is all kinda new

My son’s new one when he’s in trouble I don’t like you leave me alone

It’s totally normal. Just assure her that you do and she’ll get it.
Kids think they’re attention deficient and say things for attention lol
Don’t worry about it :sparkling_heart:

My daughter said this at around the same age, turns out a teenaged family member said it to her out of jealousy. Possibly someone has put the idea their head.

Emotional manipulation

My daughter said “mommy, you just love Aiden?” Cause I gave him a muffin- that he was throwing a tantrum for :roll_eyes::upside_down_face: I just gave her a hug told her no I love her too and handed her her own muffin.

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It just could be something she’s heard from school and copying there really good at doing that at that age even if she’s been in trouble recently could just be a tantrum thing

Yes she says I only love Brayden her 7vyear old brother and alaynah her 4 month old sister when she doesn’t get her way

He’s too young to understand what he’s really saying… it only gets worse. My 7 year old boy will get upset with having rules and scream ‘you hate me mom, you hate me, you don’t love me’. It hurts but I know he doesn’t mean it

Kids learn how to manipulate really young. Don’t allow it to get to you. Just reassure that you love them and acknowledge that it’s okay for them to be upset, frustrated,ect.

My 3 years old already say they hate me. It’s not to hurt us …I don’t think lol it’s something they e heard thier older sister say a few times and now it’s out thier mouth everything I say no and do anything to disrupt them.

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My daughter is four and goes through this when we don’t let her do something she wants to do “I guess you don’t love me” things like that. I told her I always love her. Love doesn’t mean I let her do anything she wants. Love doesn’t mean she’s never corrected. Love doesn’t mean that she will always be happy with me or I’ll always be happy with her. I tell her I always love her and I don’t want her to say that because it hurts my feelings. Which she’s big on feelings so she relates to that statement well.

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She’s 4 hun. It happens. My kids have told me I’m mean. They’ve told me they don’t like me. They’ve said I don’t love them.
They were angry because I said no and they reacted.
I don’t like hearing it…no one does.
But it’s ok…They’ll understand one day.

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My 4 year old has said it too. He doesnt understand what it means but we’ve explained it’s not true and we’ll always love him and hes stopped saying it

My 4 year old tells me (every time I make her mad)

I don’t love you mommy
You not making me happy mommy
I don’t want you mommy.

I just tell her “well I love you anyway” then later she crawls in my lap and tells me how much she loves me lol

My 4 year old tells me I’m a mean mommy and I tell her “good. At least I don’t give in to your wants because i make sure you have what you need”. Then that shuts her up and she runs to her room.

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I’m going through this with my 6 and 8 year old - when I (or anyone, really) don’t let them get their way, it’s always “Well, you hate me!” :tipping_hand_woman:t2: normal phase. At first, it did hurt but I got “numb” towards it after it has been repeated over and over again.

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All the time. My daughter and my oldest son tells me this.
My daughter is 8 and thinks it’s alright to tell adults (including myself) they are fat, ugly, and is just flat out rude/mean to everyone. She thinks it’s funny to watch sensitive adults (me, I just a baby and recently had a miscarriage, so I’m very sensitive) But heaven forbid your correct her because it gets worse when you do… If looks could kill everyone would be dead.

My oldest son… He’s 4 and thinks oh my sister does it so I can do it. He isn’t as mean as my daughter but he will tell you he don’t like you or you’re mean and once he even told me his heart was broken because I yelled at him for being bad.

But don’t take it to heart… Yes it’s hard not to but just let her know you do love her and it will be alright.

Listen to their heart; they may say that because you are not ‘filling their love-cup’ each day with touching not with your time…
BUT! If they are saying it out of anger - do not let them say it! Kids naturally pick up on what works when it comes to manipulation …
LET THEM BE ANGRY but let them know how to express it… right?

4 year olds are the toddler version of teens! Terrible two’s don’t even come close to the fours.

You kid wants you to validate her feelings and tell her you do love her.

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My son might say that when he doesn’t get what he wants

probably doesnt even know what it means

My 5 year old frequently says nobody likes her. It’s of course not true. She is surrounded by people that love her. She has some mental issues we are in the process of getting addressed.

Kids can be dare I say it… assholes?
They don’t know it hurts your feelings. I’m sure your child doesn’t mean it. My daughter would get mad and say “I hate you” after I had her brother and she’d get in trouble but she literally loves me to pieces and the feeling is mutual :sparkling_heart:

Even teenagers say it. I don’t know what kid doesn’t say these things.

She’s just testing you. She wanted you to reassure her. She may have heard someone say something mean to someone else and needed to hear the words.

Mine tell me they don’t love me but usually only when I tell them no

My 3yo son sitting on the couch next to me said… you’re really pissing me off mom :woman_facepalming:t3: my bad

Not that you don’t already have a ton of comments but my daughter does this and I was really bothered at first until I realized I say it to her dad when we’re goofing around. Like I’ll be talking and he won’t here me and say “what” or something. So I’ll say “see I knew you didn’t love me” lol its all in humor so I believe my daughter is saying it in humor as well.

Humor or not, I always reassure her that I do love her and I typically will make joke out of it so it’s stays a joke :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I remember being a little kid and telling my parents I hated them. Now as a parent hearing your child say that literally shatters you. Just remember that children don’t understand that what you’re doing is out of love for them. They are kids and the world is big and confusing in so many ways. Just remind her how much you love her and even though things may not be fair right now, it’s because you love her and want to keep her safe.

Mine is 5 and she says it. Mostly when she is in trouble lol…

You said no to something

Your love language may be different from what shes needing and there is nothing wrong with that. We all need different things :woman_shrugging: but I would probe her to see what broght her to say those words tho (asking if if there is a reason she thinks you dont… but in 4 yr old language lol)

Respond with something like “I know your feelings are hurt right now,. Or you seem angry”. But mommy loves you. Let me know if you want a good hug or talk it out

My 3 year old daughter’s been saying that kind of stuff. Says I don’t love her, but also says she doesn’t love me. I think it’s just a phase. I keep showing her love anyways. :woman_shrugging:

Yep they just say mean stuff sometimes

Out of the blue? She probably just want you to say you love her randomly out of the blue :joy: she’s just looking for reassurance haha