He says he is just messed up in the head

Me and my husband have been separated almost 6 months now. He’s been moved in with another woman already, which is fine. Our marriage was too toxic and wasn’t alright anymore with our kids involved. I have two daughters 4 and 5.
So I started dating a long time friend of mine from highschool. So about 10 years we’ve known eachother and been great friends. But since dating only 3 months we’ve broken up already about 4 or 5 times because I keep catching him talking to other woman.
At first it was him commenting on TikTok’s, saying stuff like “let me be your bf” or “when can I meet you”
He promised me he wouldn’t do that anymore.
Then I catch him talking to his ex, who lives in another state. Sending her nudes and videos of him and telling her that she should let him be her side piece. But she wasn’t having it.
He begged for another chance and I said ok if he stops talking to her. He said he blocked her off everything but I had a gut feeling he was lying. Sure enough he’s still talking to her on TikTok.
So we broke up.
Them we got back together on thanksgiving because he wouldn’t leave me alone. Came to my job. Told me he loves me so much and can’t lose me. Wants to marry me. Loves my kids and that he’s just stupid. So I gave him another chance.
Well I had another gut feeling. A really bad one. And the other night on Monday morning I went on his snap and saw him buying nudes from a girl, while he was spending the night at my house and sleeping in my bed.
He started crying and telling me he’s a fuck up. Deserves to be alone. To give him one more chance and that he’ll delete all socials. I told him I don’t want that and he shouldn’t even have to do that regardless. I’ve asked him many times to think about what he really wants and he keeps saying it’s me that he wants. Us. He said he’s just messed In the head. He knows what I’ve been through with my marriage. Constant lies and cheating. And I trusted him because of how long we’ve been friends. I trusted him to be the first man I open my heart and my life, and my daughters lives to after their father left.
He keeps saying he’ll change. That I’m all he wants.
He says he’s been hurt so badly and he’s afraid.
But I’ve been hurt too but I haven’t done this to him.
He’s also been telling his friends and family that I’m insane. And breaking up with him just because I’m psycho. He’s not telling them I’m breaking up with him because he constantly talks to other girls and buys their content and tells them he’ll come fly out to them to meet them. I don’t know what to do at this point. I care about him. I want to be with him but I can’t be hurt like this anymore. I don’t deserve this. But idk why I feel bad leaving him ? I’m confused

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. He says he is just messed up in the head

It’s only been a few months and you’re already so unhappy. Is this how you want to live?

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Sounds like you jumped from one toxic relationship to another… You need to focus on you and those girls.

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Run and get a restraining a order

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You prob feel bad bc you let his bullshit get in your head. Bottom line is you said yoi are divorcing your husband bc it was toxic for your kids. This relationship is no better. It’s been 3 months and he can’t keep his dick in his pants this isn’t going to get better. And you should want more respect from a man than that. He’s a fuck up good for him tell him to go fuck up someone else’s life

Be thankful you haven’t wasted years on him, you deserve better…I would tell him to leave and never come back!

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It’s time to focus on you and your kids!

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Girl leave him the f*** alone! He’s a user and cheater! Get far away from him! Block him! File a protective order if he WON’T stay away#

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Tell him to do one keep strong :muscle: :heart::uk:

Girl, been there, done that, get out!! You deserve the world and so do your girls. He’s obviously not ready. Men lie to get what they want. Even when you have the facts. And for him to tell him family your insane. I’d be done

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Run and I can’t stress that enough!

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No no no… way to early in the relationship for this bull crap.
Find you a real man and leave the boys to play.
You nor your daughters need this in your life. He is just saying those things to you because he doesn’t want to be alone and will take anyone willing to give him the opportunity.
I’m sure you see through the immaturity on his part.

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Why is this even a conversation :roll_eyes: seriously :neutral_face:.

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I believe he wants you snd I believe he wants to be better. Addiction has ahold of him. He needs to seek help. He is not going to stop on his own. THEN AND ONLY THEN do you EVEN THINK about him coming back into your life AROUND YOUR DAUGHTERS (or sons). This is not a marriage your fighting for. You divorced (or going thru) your children’s father for toxic reasons. Why are you putting them thru another toxic relationship.

You are not able to to fix him.

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Leave him alone!!!

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If you’re going to try and stay in this unhealthy relationship don’t listen to what his saying. Changed actions speak louder than words. Tell him to go get some therapy or something. Maybe deleting all the social medias will help because he won’t be tempted to try and talk to other women like that. Or just leave, its already become a cycle of I’m sorry I won’t do that again, and then he does it again the next chance that he gets. He wants his cake and to eat it too.

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It doesn’t change no matter how many times you catch him… He’ll keep crying and telling you the same stories.

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Why feel bad?? He’s a jerk n trust me they never change. They just learn 2 sneak n cover it better but they do not change. I was married 2 such a jerk for 20 years. Leave him n find a guy with some honesty n morals.

Know your worth. Show your children they deserve better. Set a standard

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You’ve given in so many times, the crap will keep happening if you stay. Do better for you!

Don’t feel bad and vet the men you are bringing home with young children around.

Hes not ready. He probably has said this to you alreadyy. Im sorry.

That guy is gross. Leave

He definitely needs to delete all social media now and for years to come. It is too much of a temptation for him and his addiction.

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Make a better choice for your kids. They deserve stability if possible.

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Friend’s my darling is the key word, he knows you too well; it’s a ticking time bomb. Don’t put yourself through unnecessary bullshit. Every woman deserves to be happy including you, do it for yourself and most importantly your babies. Rock your frickin shine girl​:facepunch:t4::sunflower:because at the end of the day you will love it​:+1::green_heart:

Just run as fast as you can…bad news that’s for sure

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I don’t think I have ever told someone to run based off a post on fb. But RUN.

I reread this wondering if you’re dating my ex. No, I’m not the ex from another state but this is EXACTLY what my ex did to me word for word. I know it’s hard but if you can get away from him and STAY AWAY. ie change your number, get a restraining order if he doesn’t take the hint, tell your boss and people at work you don’t want him there and call the cops if he comes, I PROMISE YOU you will remember what life was like without all this drama and you will see reality clearly. You will realize all of the horrible things he’s doing and how he will never change and that you need to get away from someone as mentally unstable as that. Especially for your kids. But you have to get Away and I mean AWAY from him to be able to see this clearly. They are too smart and know exactly what to do to keep you hooked if you continue giving them a chance to explain or fix it or make up for what they’ve done. You have to go cold turkey and cut him off completely. No explanation no nothing just no contact. It’s so hard but you can do it if I could!!! My relationship went from this to very abusive very fast once I let him all the way back in so please PLEASE be careful and give your mind the chance it deserves to see him for who he is without all the mind games he’s playing with you

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Girl. Get out while you can. Seriously. This is just another toxic relationship. Get out and stay out.

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He’s lying and manipulating. Get rid of him, block him on everything and move on.

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Girl quit with the emotional attachment over such stupid things, you were friends for so long?? Please, obviously not good enough friends that you didn’t know what he was really like, now you do!! It hasn’t even been that long, I say this in the nicest way possible, for your own good because he’s not going to change… GET OVER IT!!

Leave. RUN. He’s had many chances and is manipulating you trying to make you feel bad instead of him being held accountable and weaving an untrue tale about who you are to people in his life. Go live your life :yellow_heart:

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Get out. Fast. And then work on loving you for you. Don’t hop to the next relationship. Heal yourself and focus on your kids first.

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You can’t save him. So save yourself. Don’t let your girls see you in that position they’ll grow up thinking it’s okay.

Social media ruins lives and relationships.

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He sounds super manipulative. RUN GIRL

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Geez. Learn to be alone. Get some therapy to figure out why you keep choosing losers.

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Love yourself before you try loving someone else right now.
If he’s done proven you can’t trust him why keep trying?
Run get out

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1st you need to finalize your DIVORCE
2nd figure out what went wrong in your marriage that you may have played apart in so you don’t REPEAT it in the next.
3rd red :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: on your current relationship (too soon) not the guy for you PERIOD. Ask yourself why you are settling for far less than you deserve. FOCUS on yourself and your children. You have a future to figure out. :thinking: Don’t be so desperate to be in a relationship

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Ask yourself this, what would you tell your daughters to do in this situation?

My advice, move on and focus on your girls. Someone who genuinely wants you, will not put you through such hell. Let him take his issues else where. He’s not a one woman man, obviously. What you allow is what will continue. You’re teaching him that no matter what he does, he can give you an “apology” and you’ll let him right back in. That is toxic AF. You deserve better, your girls deserve better.

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Left husband because relationship was toxic.

Have broken up with new bf 4-5 times in 3 months… yet you think this is fine?

It’s 3 months… leave?

Leave. Once is a mistake, repeat is his character. He will always be this way.

RUN Don’t Walk. Think about the fact u r teaching your girls how to be treated that is all you should need to know :100:

Um… No. You’ve broken up almost every month for 6 months because he can’t stop flirting, lusting and contacting other females?
You are not his priority.
Leave him alone.
Get divorced and look forward to a new chapter in your life with no cheating. What you allow will continue to happen—and this dude’s track record with you already shows all you need to know. :blue_heart:

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Oh mate! You’re too scared to be alone

Baby girl you jumped right into another toxic relationship. You deserve better! And your daughters deserve better. You’re worth more! End that relationship. :heart:

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Get rid of this pathetic waste of space he’s gonna knock your confidence and have less trust in your relationships in future his already shown you how much respect he has for you may have known him a lot of years but he’s shown you the side of him you obviously didn’t know about him he’s shown his true colours no man would ever put you through what an ex has done hea got wondering eyes let that boy go wonder off put your life you deserve a man who will treat you with all the love and respect you deserve

Leave him and work on yourself.

Leave. Leave leave leave. Focus on yourself and your children. You’ll find someone else. There’s millions of people. This guy is bad news. You’re only hurting yourself and your children if you keep going back to him.

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Yes. It will get so much worse. He will NEVER stop. Please leave now. You will end up hurt way more in the long run.

Unfortunately, he will never change. He’s right, he’s messed up in the head. Probably an impulse that he doesn’t have control of. He may care for you, but still not be able to co trol himself. As much as it may hurt, and as hard as it is, you need to end the relationship. Stay friends if you want, but he will never be able to be faithful. Remember too, what you allow, how you allow people to treat you, you kids see. And you are teaching them that it’s ok for people to treat them that way.

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Know your worth! You said yourself you deserve better so why continue to allow him to disrespect you. Kick him to the curb and be done with him. Figure out who you are on your own and just have fun being you with your girls. Then. When you’re happy with yourself you can date someone

I know it’s easier said than done but run girl run!!! It sounds like you’ve been more than reasonable with him and he continues…run and don’t look back at least not in his direction!! Take some time for yourself and your girls! They are who is most important now!!!

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Are you still in highschool ,🤦

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Why would you get out of one toxic relationship just to get into another???

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Believe what he says when he says hes a fuck up and leave

Fuck him. Love don’t hurt at all u right now are making it ok for this to happen to your girls and no ma’am let God fill that Void let God be the man you need the provider the protector for u and them girls HELL for this u could have stayed with ya husband wrong is wrong it don’t matter the history fuck that fool

Leave him and don’t look back….let your focus be on you and your daughter’s……wish you the best! :sparkling_heart:

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Your confused due to his way of talking to you, I.e manipulating you. You know exactly what to do as you have already been through it more the once by the sounds of it. He needs to be left alone for him to figure out what he wants, he keeps returning to you after you have split as he knows you will take him back. End things now before it gets any worse, concentrate on you and your 2 children, if it’s meant to be then he will seek help and you will both find each other again. I don’t wanna sound horrible, but also sounds like you could do with some time out from him, get your head sorted, be there for you and the kids and no one else. If he does just want you like you say he says, then while your apart he will seek the help/advice that he needs, but I’m afraid that until you split and you do not take him back when he comes running nothing is going to change for you and your just going to live your life going round in circles. That’s not fair on you or your girls, you and they deserve better, a lot better. I wish you the best x

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Get rid of him and focus on you and your daughters. You went from one toxic guy to another, you don’t want your kids thinking this is ok.

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Wtf are you doing being with this man? Why would you do this to your kids? Be single.

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This dude sounds like he’s stringing you along until he finds something “better”

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I’m sorry but wheres your self respect? I know it’s hard after a toxic relationship but you jave literally jumped into another and are allowing him to use you as a doormat. First if he really loved you that much he wouldn’t even want to look at another women, certainly not be sending and getting nudes which secondly I find extremely childish from a grown ass man. Thirdly why are you allowing him to speak about you in such degrading ways when he’s the one in the wrong, your children will grow up thinking this is OK and normal behaviour. Please do the right thing for you but your children as well this is not a good relationship. You have been together 3 months and broke up multiple times, how many times do your kids need to see that? I’m not trying to be harsh with this but come on girl wake up, enjoy you and your babies and never allow another man to treat you with such disrespect. I was that women being cheated on and having to be checked in case he gave me anything, luckily he didn’t, he promised my then 4 year old he would come and see him and let him down that for me was the last straw. When I met my husband I made it clear you cheat your gone no matter what and he has never given me reason to feel insecure. You will find a man who truly loves you and your children :heart: xx

You need time with yourself and your kids. Get to know who you are and what you want. And maybe some counseling to help you find your happy place without having to have a man.

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Hf you have another child!!!:rofl: fckin LEAVE it’s not even that serious. Do you want your kids involved in that crap too? It’s already toxic from the start!! Lmfao pathetic that he’s crying to you for the things HE Done​:rofl::rofl: thats bs and can’t believe your buying that shit.

A pattern speaks louder than words. If you stay you’re just living the same situation on repeat. Do yourself and your kids some justice and leave. You’re allowed to love someone and still leave. You’re allowed to be selfish and protect yourself.

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Leave his ass. He’s not going to change.

I didn’t even finish reading it :joy: girl if you don’t kick him to the curb … You just got out of a marriage give yourself some time … Find yourself again go out and have fun :heart:

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Seems like a complete waste of time. What’s that quote? " fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" I mean second third fourth chances. No offense, but Can’t sympathize :woman_shrugging: I’m sure your way better than that, give yourself grace and find someone who wants you :two_hearts:

It’s manipulation. It shouldn’t have happened even once but you were generous enough to try trusting him again. You’re now well past the “fool me once…” Stage. His words and his actions will never line up.

Go to therapy. Leave this man alone. Focus on you… you need a lot of internal help.

RUN. Never look back.

He will never change leave now and don’t let your daughters see you get humiliated k k that. Your better than that and show it

Hes not going to stop cause you allowing him to come back. He knows he can get away with it. Drop that dude and block him.

You wouldn’t even put up with this shit, from your husband. Why him? You’re a MESS! He’s using the hell out of you!!!

I think you just want to be with someone. This man doesn’t want you to be his “only”. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? That’s not a good example for your daughters.

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Sis. This man sounds like nothing but heartburn & headaches. Keep it moving. Show your girls how QUEENS rise & demand respect. Go find yourself a KING. :heart:

Do your kids a favor and focus on them…quit being so worried about your love life…if you refocus and have some pride in yourself this wouldn’t even be a question you’d feel the need to ask!!

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Why are you still even talking to him !!!

Run
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Take heed in the beginning…

I stopped reading at sending his ex nudes. :woman_facepalming:

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Excuse my language but kick his ass to the curb do you want you daughters to think this is how life is,I wouldn’t.

Why are you even considering staying with that “boy?” Makes no sense. It’s clear.

He’s never going to change. As much as he tells you he will and he will do this or that he won’t change he will just do it behind your back. He’s only telling you what you want to hear at that point in time so he can get what he wants.

What did I just read? WHAT MORE SO YOU NEED?? lol :woman_facepalming:t2:

Can’t be serious… Don’t be gullible. Don’t be so desperate for love/companionship you end up his fool for life. Quit showing your girls this is the way to be treated. Set an example for them and respect yourself(by first getting rid of that loser, permanently). Go seek some therapy and learn to feel complete without someone, so when you do find a partner they add to your life, not take away.

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Girl… run! He’s a narcissist.

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He’s a narc. Likely a porn addict (check his history, guaranteed) a sex addict.

I’ve been with one. Run while you can.

Girl, LEAVE. Why is this even a question. He sounds terrible

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Literally read up to the part where you’ve only been dating a few months and caught him talking to other women

No need to read on

Kick his arse to the curb

Know your worth woman

Do you want to be an option to someone?

You your kids have been through enough, walk away from this crap. If not for yourself then for your girls.

Girl were too old for this. Men are stupid and we knew that when we were kids

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If he only wanted you, he would not be looking or talking to other girls. I think for your girls sake, you should cut him off. A man that wants to change will change without hesitation. There’s too many excuses.

You feel bad because you care for him. Unfortunately if he cared about you he wouldn’t do the things he is doing. And even more unfortunate is that you have shown him he can do whatever he wants because you will get mad but will eventually take him back. You are allowing his behavior he knows if he apologizes enough and he knows exactly what to say to get you to come back. He will continue to do everything he has been doing and he will just try to be better at hiding it. It wont work you will continue to find out. What you have to ask yourself is do you want him enough to deal with the disrespectful shit and do you want your kids to deal with the constant disruptions from the fighting and breaking up and getting back together. Respect and love yourself enough to know you deserve better. And remember what you allow is what will continue. Know your worth. Get rid of him.

Jeez, get a grip. He is using you

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He wants you confused. But this is manipulative and abusive behavior. Leave him. He can go be fuck up by himself.

Nope. Get rid of him. You’re supposed to compliment my life, not complicate it.

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