I met my husband who was stationed in my hometown, he’s originally from Ohio, now that he’s out he wants to move back home. However we don’t have the means to move our family of 4 cross country. He has proposed that he moves & gets a job there then wait until we get enough to move me & our kids. He wants to leave in January & I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. He has been caught before cheating on me while he was overseas, and I caught him one time while we went to visit his family for the holidays texting his ex who he had made plans to meet up with & not tell me. I have no idea if I should trust him after his past. We’ve been married 4 years now. Within these past 3 months I have found his ex the same ex! On his search history on his Instagram account & Facebook account. I haven’t confronted him about it because I know he’ll deny it. Has anyone dealt with a similar issue ? How did you handle it? Is it possible keep your marriage good in different states? … or will he just move on…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. He wants to leave his family behind? - Mamas Uncut
personally if u to question if u should trust him I would Leave… U got nothing if u have to question if u should trust ur own husband.
and no i wouldn’t Trust him after all of that
If there’s no trust there’s nothing. If u can’t trust him then y be with him besides the kids? If you going to keep bringing up his past against him then y be with him? U don’t seem happy either from the sound of it then y stay? If u don’t think it’s a good idea then listen to your gut. If u know for a fact he’s been searching for his ex again then confront him even if he denies but if I was u I would have proof for he can’t deny it.
You answered your own question! The answer is NO ! Looks like he’s going to be moving on with out you …
Sounds like he misses his past before you and is willing to leave you and his children for it. His mind is already made up why are you still there? Move on for you!
I’m going to be honest he cheats and lies a lot and wants to move so basically he is done time to get a divorce no excuses
It’s time you move on
Sounds like you’re content dealing with his continuous infidelity. Might not be a popular opinion but I’d seriously declare an open relationship if you really plan/want to stay with him. No reason you should be lonely in the marriage while you know he’s always lusting, seeking out, trying to meet up with other women.
Always let them go-wherever they want to go. Know he will cheat since his past reflects that multiple times. His level of integrity, or lack of it, will shine through with the distance between you. Make sure your children stay out and are unaware of the drama between you; it will shape them as they grow up. Best of luck to you and your children. 
Girl brutually honest do not go and don’t take em back nothing will change and evidently he does give too much of a 
about you or his family or kids for that matter
Let em go sometimes the woman that walks away wins
Hate to say it, but let him leave. Establish your custody if you have shared children, in your state before he can take them to another state.
If he wants to cheat, he will and he has. I wouldn’t move
If you can’t trust him at home, you can’t trust him away. The bottom line is you can’t trust him. Let him go.
Honey you marriage isn’t good now. Let him run back home. Let him go he is already gone. Move on he will never stay faithful.
I would divorce him however if u don’t want to leave be smart do don’t move.
It possible just not with that dude!! Hes already proven he cant do long distance why would u do that to urself again??
The fact that he even suggested leaving you and your kids behind is a huge red flag. He’s clearly not committed to this marriage and hasn’t been in quite a while, why are you still with him? You’re showing him there are no repercussions to his actions.if he goes, the marriage is over. Plain and simple.
Let him leave.
You either need to agree to an open relationship, or divorce his ass. Cheating is never okay.
Stay strong. Anything less than love and happiness is unacceptable
I wouldn’t like that situation at all. Especially since he has a history of cheating and one of those times happened when he was visiting his parents. The same place he is wanting to move to without y’all. Every relationship is different but that just sounds too good for him. My husband and I couldn’t do something like that
If your relationship is in question and his behavior is sketchy at best. DO NOT LEAVE! If you leave your state where your support system is and move to another you could get stuck there. Should he want a divorce or your a divorce later it may be hard to go back home with your kids.
You should be the one moving on because it seems like his brain and heart are not with you and his family!
Let that BOY go. He has 0 intentions of being faithful to you. What you allow is what will continue
Stay where you are and set up a plan for you and them kids… you soon to be ex husband is chasing tail
Lolll what… he’s been unfaithful multiple times what would make you trust him now 
let him leave and don’t follow
I can’t believe you have to even ask. I mean at this point even if you got hit over the head with his cheating you would still wonder if you could trust him.
Leave em… they never change!
Girl, let him go. He’s not worth your time. He’s either actively cheating or is actively planning to cheat. Slap his ass with child support and keep it pushing.
You already know the answer leave
That’s his way clear out !
Total bull shit !
Sounds like I’d let him leave. Let him leaving with the mindset he’s “bringing you and the kids when he’s got the money” in the mean time. YOU take care of you and your kids. Get your finances set. That way IF he doesn’t come back for you guys, you’re set without him. Or if your gut tells you another funny feeling. You know you can always provide for your kids without him. If he’s leaving the kids home with you. You have no worries, if he leaves and doesn’t come back, it’ll hurt. But he willingly left the kids with you to move across state lines… you can use that in court if ever needed! Good luck.
Comunication with ur husband is the KEY to ur marriage an if it doesnt change and he keeps denying it then Leave
Let him move. Save money and divorce him.
Ma’am leave him. He wants the freedom. He’s going to cheat again. If he did it while being away before and tried to while visiting family. You physically being in a different state is just going to make it that much easier. I’d say let him go and you start making plans for yourself.
Given the past… it doesn’t sound like it would end well… probably best to let him go and you move on. He’ll just keep pushing boundaries and not respecting you or your family together.
His behavior is a bit sketchy but this situation isn’t completely unheard of. When my husband got out of the military the kids and I moved 3 months before him. We closed on our house then the kids and I moved early so we could get started with school and work. Keep in mind that the military pays for final moving expenses whether you use movers or pay up front then get reimbursed so him saying that y’all can’t afford to all move is an excuse.
Being in another town or state he’s gonna cheat but chances are he’s cheating while he’s in the same home as you. They don’t change . Cheaters always cheat. Leave him and do better for yourself and ur kids
I think this is a no brainer, he cheats on you clearly doesn’t respect you or his family. Why are you still with him?? Let that man go, he doesn’t respect you at all.
Lmao girl this question has to be a joke. He’s obviously trying to go down there alone so he can cheat with his ex. Leave him now, he doesn’t love you or he wouldn’t keep searching up and ex whole married. Let him leave and send him divorce papers. And no real man would even suggest that idea, my man wouldn’t even wanna that a trip without me, let alone move without me and his son!!!
File for divorce and child support asap. He could get a job where ya’ll live and save up to move everyone together but clearly he’d rather leave his family behind so he can enjoy extracurricular activities. I know that sounds harsh but you don’t want to waste anymore time with this cheater.
Is he going to pay bills at both places?
Did u say ex the same sex?
Whether he’s actually going to cheat or not. The fact that youre not comfortable with it is going to be a strain on your marriage and trust.
If he’s cheated before it is POSSIBLE for him to do it again, with opportunity. Not saying he is but it is possible. I don’t see it being a good thing for your relationship at all.
Aside from that tho, you got kids and you shouldn’t have to handle the kids by yourself for so long. He can look for a job by you guys, save up and then move together. I personally wouldn’t be okay w it. And then add the previous cheating and trust issue. It’s a no for me…
Just get rid of him. He’s shown you he’s unfaithful. Let him go. Move on. You deserve better. Good luck
He is still in Love with his Ex.
You will never be able to Trust him. I feel for you.
Hes obviously not to be trusted and I doubt it would work long distance tbh.
Where would he be staying if he moved and why can’t you all wait a bit and move together ? He can be applying for jobs in the meantime and you could be packing and move as a family. Surely the forces will pay some kind of resettlement allowance that would help you move together ?
Given youve caught him recently and dont trust him…id let him go and make a life for yourself and your kids where you are.
Let him go girl . While he’s there u can be getting ur ducks in a row to do it alone! All that crap w his ex is bs. If he is already talking to her and hiding things even if they haven’t had sex yet ,he already has in his mind, and he will when he sees her. Move on . He is replaceable.
I wouldn’t be able to trust him and sounds likenyou wont either. Let him leave while he gone prepare to be on your own and support your kids
This is actually very common especially in the military. I know many couples that move separately while one gets established in a new place. But given your special situation I’d confront him and seek serious counseling before I’d consider moving anywhere he wants to go.
Or you could find you and your kids living in a town you don’t know, not knowing anyone and a husband that continues to cheat. It’s lonely believe me.
Railroad and USPS hires military great pay
Divorce his ass ! He clearly doesn’t give a stuff about his family 
Why haven’t you left him?? Hes trash! Wtf… girl leave. There are men out there ready to treat women right dont settle for trash. Not everyone who goes and serves the country is worth a shit… a good amount of them are slimy grimy cheating women using and abusing fellows. Especially considering it’s so easy to get away with in the service.
He has cheated more than once, and is looking up his ex? Let him move and let yourself move on 
His idea seems logical.
? He hasn’t even moved on from his ex. He keeps cheating and ruining your trust. He searches for his ex and texts her. He plans his moves so it’s not even like he can claim it as a “mistake” .
If you’re content and plan to stay for whatever reason then no. I dont think it would be safe for him to go and then get yall later.
It works for some people, my sisters husband went first and then she went later on but even that was rough. It ended up being longer than they planned until he could make enough money to find a place suitable for them all.
Maybe consider marriage counseling because in my opinion he doesn’t really seem to invested. And he definitely doesn’t care about your feelings.
Heck no don’t let him go 
my husband doesn’t have a past of cheating and i still wouldn’t let him go
If there is no trust, what the hell are you doing still married to him? Throw his ass to his ex!
I’d tell him to move, that way you have the house you have now. And can still figure out a plan while he’s away then tell him you’re not coming
You should move on from him all together.
Sounds to me like he’s long since moved on… different states or not let him go!
If it’s meant to be it will find a way. Good luck 
Nope, he can bring yall along or you get a divorce if he wants to leave. We’ve moved across country 3 times in 2 years, and each time was very hard but we make it as a family and put up with the struggle.
Support him & let him go do that. Make sure he helps in financial support for you & the kids. Save everything he sends. Lead him on. Mentally, you should move on. Be prepared for the worst, don’t expect to move with him, start making plans to be a single mother. It sounds like he wants his ex and that’s his ultimate plan, but who knows until it happens. Just take care of yourself & your children
Is it possible to keep your marriage good in different states?
You already answered that question when you said he cheated on you while in different countries.
Oh honey, divorse him and let his ass go. He isnt trust worth with you or without you by his side. He is gonna do what/who he wants.
I suggest he go and you stay. You need to move on.
Awww you’re so sweet poor girl . Do what your heart says is right
Not a good idea to let him go alone since he already has a history of cheating. If he insist I would give him an ultimatum of either staying with you or getting divorced. It’s ultimately going to lead to divorce anyhow because why would he be contacting his ex ? There is no reason unless there are kids involved. If you move to his hometown you will probably end up there by yourself and he will be with his ex
are you serious right now???
It all depends on you. Do you still truly love him ? Is the marrage worth fighting for ? And are you ready to move across country to a place you don’t know with kids and leave everything you know behind on the chance that he might not be as commited as you are to the marriage ? Because if you are and think you can then let him go, but I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to move out there until he can prove to you that he is over her and commited only to you and the kids. Give it some thought and really search your inter heart. Good luck.
Fuck his moving on, honey you need to put you and them kids first and you need to beat him to the punch. You move on. Because it seems that he has every intention to dip on you as soon as he has the chance. Why are you trusting him again knowing damn well his all isn’t with you and the kids
Just leave now. It’ll be harder to leave the longer you stay. I promise you that you cannot change someone like that. It’s better for your kids to see you in a loving relationship than for them to think it’s okay for a man to treat a woman the way your husband does.
He’s cheating!! Weather your there or not, he will cheat. Let him go. Get a divorce. Apply for child support. Find a job. Raise your children.
Fuck that, let him go and you stay where you are and take care of your family, he clearly is over it…
Is your question really “will he” move on? Cause sounds like he already has…
Careful with a man from Ohio, when we got married we lived in California, i got pregnant and he decided to move to Ohio! The worst mistake ever! He was in the military too.
We are going through divorce now and i am back to my home country with 2 babies! He has a new family now and forgets about his bio kids and is raising other kids.
Not worth it stay where you are
No trust there…stay where you are.
He could get a job where you are now and save. But he wants to go somewhere else. That’s weird and he’s absolutely cheating. Don’t follow him. Move on
You can’t trust him. This has nothing to do with moving to Ohio. Just let him go and get on with your life.
military will move you with him so sounds a bit fishy
Sounds like you don’t have a good marriage now.
I wouldn’t trust that at all based on his record-
Maybe is a wake up call for you to let him go u gonna be miserable thinking of what he’s doing when do answer ur calls ect.
Let him leave, find someone better
Let him move and hire yourself a good attorney. It won’t get better. I know that’s hard to hear. But you shouldn’t have to even ask this question in a relationship. I promise there’s better out there. Don’t let your kids see him do this to you, and them.
Just move on. He cheated on you twice, obviously doesn’t have a conscience. He will cheat and keep on cheating. I wouldn’t let my man cheat on me once and stick around… I’d be long gone.
He’s telling you who he is…… LISTEN!
??? So confused as to why ur still with him if hes cheated
Put your running shoes on 
Time to go! Show your kids a healthy marriage with love and respect! They are watching you.
Why haven’t you moved on?
Leave and file child support
Sounds like he doesn’t have the balls to tell you he’s leaving. My EX husband did something similar and I found out about it 2 days later.
Well you need to ask yourself this… He’s cheated on you 2 times if not more. So what if you do move with him and he cheats on you again how will you get back to your family? Or your home town? It will be heard for you to move back. You may not have any support from his family.or friends. Only you can make that decision. It sounds like he wants his ex back. I kind of was in the same situation. I moved to out of state with a man and his family and friends lived there and all i had was my daughter who was 2 years old. my two older kids stayed with their daddy.there choice. About 2 years later things was not working out. I felt alone, no family little to no friends.I had to leave all my all my belongings behind. and my daddy had to buy me a Greyhound bus tickets for me and my daughter to come back home. No cheating that i know of. I did have some suspicion he was with my next door neighbor. They like to drink together. She was single. You really need to think about this.
Let him move. Then file for divorce, child support, custody based on abandonment. He’s trying to lead a double life with you in your state & his ex in the other.
Your first mistake was staying with him when he cheated. What you allow will continue.
Define good? Because good isn’t looking great and you’re in the same state. No trust = no marriage. You either trust him or you don’t. You’ll never be ok with him in another state with the mindset you have now.
It’s all or nothing, if you all can’t move together then he shouldn’t either. He’s moving back to his hometown where he can sell his seeds in whoever he wants because you won’t know nothing about it because you are not there to see it and ain’t nobody gonna say anything to you from his family. You may have yourself and your children that is more important so if I were you, I think about you and your kids first before him. If he’s cheating on you before especially during a holiday when visiting his family he’s gonna do it again. You won’t be there to stop him or catch him doing it. He could set up a whole new account while he’s there and you never know it. So get out while you can.
Seems your not his first choice. Why should he be yours?
Let him go. Take care of you and yours kids. You will find someone better than him in due time!!
Let him move. File for custody and stay there.
He should stay with his family tithe has enough for you all to move together.
Lol…LEAVE …if u let him continue to do it it will NEVER stop
He is not over his ex let him go and be with her I know it happened to me and I am much better without him. It takes awhile but you will be great on your own
Let him go and yall stay there…for good.