I’m newly single and have not long moved into a flat with my daughter (age 2). I’m trying to get my level 3 apprenticeship in child care which I will get £6.56 an hour for. My question is how do single mams go to work full time hours and manage with a toddler at the same time on such little money and absolutely no family support? I don’t know how I’m going to do this on my own, I’m scared.
I was married and had 4 kids. After my husband cheated on me, I kicked him to the kerb… Bringing those 4 kids up alone was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and there were days when I wanted to run a mile… I had no family, it was just me and the kids. But every morning I got out of bed and just put 1 foot in front of the other, the next day I’d do it again, and so on and so on… You do it for the kids, you do it for your dignity and you do it to show the world that whatever beats you down, you’ll always get up again!
My kids are 18, 20, 22 and 24 now… They’re all amazing people. I look at them with pride and think to myself, I DID THAT!
You’ve got this!!!
Get a child support order. Utilize all public assistance.
I raised 2 boys on my own from age 2 and 3. It is a tough job, especially when you have no support. You have to plan your life around your daughter so you can be there with her as much as possible. And pray! A lot!! God will show you what choices to make and moves to take. You’ll be just fine!
As you have put your hourly rate in £ I am assuming you are in the UK. You need to get onto the Benefits Agency and apply for universal credit, working tax credit, child tax credit, housing benefit etc (whichever is available in your area - not all areas are on universal credit). Make sure your child’s father pays maintenance. If you are working at least 16 hours per week you will be entitled to 15 hours child care for free (30 hours once she is 3) and also entitled to assistance with nursery fees with child tax credit. Best of luck.
Don’t be afraid. You can do whatever you need to I was on the same position years ago and found out I was much stronger than I knew. It will be difficult but you will SHINE. Good luck.
I was a single parent and managed with a lot of determination, sacrfice and prayer. I even went to nursing school. It wasn’t easy but I always knew God was my strength.
Hopefully you are receiving child support from your child’s father…if not, take steps to get it set up.
You can do it. It is a choice so honor it. I raised 4 alone, worked full time, went to school part time. It wasn’t easy but it can be done. Never give up. You owe it to your child.
Join a local church make some friends the church will become your family they’ll have people there that maybe an older ladies that could use a little money babysitting that’s where I found my help
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
Take advantage of free services you are entitled to and join a church for guidance and support and to meet good people willing to lend a helping hand. Many of us have survived these circumstances and you will too.
You will be entitled to have childcare paid. Make sure you claim everything you’re entitled to. I worked as a single parent and had alot of my childcare paid for by child tax credit. It wasn’t always easy but it’s possible.
There may be programs in your area that offer help to pay childcare. you can do this - millions of moms do every day. prayers.
Is very hard to be a single parent I had raised my kids too without no family around having problems finding a sitter you going you might need public assistance maybe they can help me with daycare that’s what they did for me you could do it I made it it won’t be easy you know you got churches you got to put yourself out there I wish you luck
You will be amazed what you can do when you have to. I wish you and your child the very best life has to offer. Hugs from a mum who’s been there, and is still there. Life can be wonderful when you’re the one in control. Good luck
You can do it I had three kids and worked three job .with God help nothing is
There is also a day care assistance through Social.Services. That was a big help.for my daughter. Also apply for Food Stamps. That is what these programs are for.
Ive had to put my studies on hold to care for my children ,some times you have to make sacrifices when your a parent,its part of the role ,get a day job that works around weekday childcare until they start school and return to studies then,I have 4 altogether ,the youngest is disabled and age 5 I’ve had a m extension on my studies for 5 years
I had 3 small children, single mother. Luckily I am Norwegian, and I got help from the government the first years to becable to go to school… Went to school, after that worked. My children was in kindergarden, later in school.
One day at a time mama and a whole lot of faith. Faith in the lord, faith in yourself, and faith that you will get through this.
You can do this! I had to use a daycare and I also swapped with other mothers who needed help at times - sometimes they would watch my son and sometimes I would watch their children. Maybe you can find a single parent support group to meet people as well. Get a routine and develop your confidence.
Some daycare facilities allow you to bring your child there while you work.
Definitely utilize what the state has to offer… childcare can be assisted with.
You will be tired but it will work out. Good vibes!!
Please take advantage of all programs available to you. I wish I had pit aside my pride when I was in the same position as it probably would have made a better relationship between me and my children. That is what all those programs are for. Too bad I waited until my senior years to find out about all that,s available for people. Good luck.
I grew up in foater care so I have literally no family except my 3 kids. They’re almost all teens now but when they were little I worked ata daycare makin 7.25/hr n it was hard but if I can do it you can too.you got this momma. If you need help sign up for ebt n child care assistance. I was nevet able to get it but workin at a daycare they allowed my kids to attend for 25/week per kid. Maybe yours can go to work with you. Also sign up for income based housing
Based off the currency im assuming you’re not in the states so what I say may not be as helpful. I’m in the same situation. I have Friends in the area but they aren’t really able to help at all. I looked for every resource I could find. I have state assisted daycare, I had food stamps for a little while, I have wic those types of things. Ask around in Facebook groups around you, get to know people and build a support group is the best advice I can give you. I’m a single parent with two small kids, one of them is one and the other 6. I’m working two jobs and going to school. It’s hard, but you can do this!
That’s a great question. Just do the best you can with what you have and ask for help if need be. I too was a single parent many many year ago. I remember on year it was really rough. I had 3 kids in 3 different schools. I had to drop them all off at school any be to work by 8:30. I survived it. I get tired just thinking about it. However I made it through it and so will you.
Very hard unless you have someone, maybe a friend, maybe a government day care for you child, food stamps , any one for advice, a preacher.
You have a good plan for yourself. Now think outside the box to make it work. I believe in you!
Yes utilize government and county assistance it is there for women like us!! Don’t you dare be ashamed either to ask for help! Look up human services in your county and state. You got this! I believe in your mom powers!!!
You can do it I was a single mom of a toddler worked full time and went to University if I can do it you can do it. I also lived 2000km away from any family support. You look for any government help…student loans…friends Child care sharing. Above all else stay positive and know you are worth it and will get through these tough times and better days are just around the corner.
I know. Been there. I prayed a lot. Somehow the Lord came through. One foot in front of the other every day. Work, work, work
That’s what you do
I also want to add free anything is important , child care , Salvation Army ( around Christmas some places have programs to help) , free activities , free immunization, it may be stressful trying to find all these but if you don’t rely on a calendar you may want to start , it’s about creatively not relying on someone else
And you know what … you have every right to be scared . Hopefully you will be able to pop your daughter into the childcare where you get a job. All the very best for you and your daughters future
What is that in US dollar? My advice go to church,go to a moms group find out if government has any assistance for you,get financial support from the father,and finally…first d a roommate that works will also help with child care.
Check your local social service agencies to find out if you qualify for assist with childcare medical and food support. Proud that you are trying to better your life
Is it possible that you have a friend who could move in and watch your child while you are working. Offer her free rent, food, etc and a tiny bit of money for her essentials. Or can the govt programs help you?
You can do it. Look into seeking help from agencies that are out there now. Keep your hands in Gods hand and you will persevere.
It will seem hard but will make you stronger I did with my first 2 no family in town until I remarried
I took my children with me to work while I worked daycare when young. That saved on childcare
You do what you have to be focusing on you and your child think of it as a art you learn how to juggle yes may be hard at first but you can get it just do shay you need to keep your head up and it will all work out everything happens for a reason its a test hit life hard keep moving and don’t stop you may get knocked down at times but you can do it kids give up superhuman strength
Just know in your heart YOU can DO this ! Maybe not how you imagined ! But it can be done!
First is the safety of your baby , find a daycare or parent or job with daycare! Or with county or government help ( many will pay partial by income) apply for all help !! Housing , food,
Assistance. This is what it’s there for !
You may have to wait on school until your child is in school ! Schools provide after school care too.
In school you’ll meet other mothers struggling too , maybe they can help with your child in exchange for your help or pay. Maybe you two have to rent a room if housing is costly . It gets better ! Even a neighbor maybe be able to help . Don’t take a job in daycare now f you can’t bring you child. Maybe work in the schools you’ll always have the same days off . It’s HARD the hardest thing you’ll ever do , we don’t pay well as a country for child care of our most precious children!! Get involved to change it !
Also there’s nothing absolutely nothing wrong with being on welfare , staying home with your child until they are school age ! It’s always about safety and what’s best for them ! Everyone who offers to " help" with children isn’t a good fit !! Churches , friends etc listen to your child and beware . There are predators out there too . Also I don’t care if it’s a struggle you get every available police court etc to have the father provide also she deserves it ! Walking away is not an option .
It’s scary , it’s hard some days you will want to give up ! But it’s the most important job you’ll ever have !
You can do it, believe in yourself, I raised two on my own and went to school full time for 18 months, find a good day care or baby sitter, see if you can get help from your church or social servicers, good luck!
You will figure it out as you go, just like millions of others.
Get all the help you can get from the government. Maybe working one job won’t be enough, also if they’re available look for work from home jobs.
Try working at a daycare that you can also bring your child to
Does the dad of the child not help financial?
It’s hard but it’s not impossible! Have you asked about if your daughter can come with you at the job? Sometimes it’s allowed depending on the age? Also try to meet other Mother’s in your neighborhood, get to know them, especially single Mothers, itt will help you, to see possibly if anyone provides childcare
This advice of looking for help from the government the government didn’t make the kids you are suggesting tax payers are responsible for raising your kids not true the parents are and you shuold think about that before you make babies
You will need help. Apply for child care assistance. Get an education into something you like but will pay good money. Something in the nursing field…lots of options. Do not stop looking and find something you like and has a future. Look at all optins…There are tuitions available and help. Get all the education you can and stick with it and pass that effort along to your child. Personally, be sure you are on birth control before you get involved with anyone…no more children until you can support yourself and child…do not put your trust in anyone but yourself and God. Choose your friends wisrly…only those who can pull you up…not down…choose any relationship wisely…pick the winners and do not kid yourself about anyone …steer clear of those who will be a deterrent to you and your child…you know the difference…a good worker drug free person trying their best is the ticket out. You can Apply for financial help in a number of areas, but ultimately, for a good future, it is up to you to make the good choices for yourself and chikd. Get on the way now by being proactive and positive and looking to yourself and God for help out of a rut . You can do it…go for it.
Where is your partner I feel sorry and all however tax payers should not have to help that’s up to your partner,takes 2 to tango
Go to your local welfare office. You’ll get food stamps, child care and other help on what you’re making. Take everything they give you.
I was single mother of 3 kids and father did not pay child support , here are tips, it’s hard know that there are others who will be able to relate and help, accept the help : 1. Thrift shops, consignment stores, last season clothing racks ( buy cheap) utilize all, if people give away clothing online take them ( go through that bag ) donate the rest , don’t be afraid to accept food pantry ( no one cares ) we only care when you don’t feed the kids, take home leftovers from parties etc , keep your doctor bills minimum so eat as balanced as you can and do buy the vitamins , utilize free activities such as parks , school sports that are less spendy , if you go in with concern about spending ( sometimes people will pitch in) , be careful with electricity lights etc ( try reduce programs that will assist) , budget buy always , if father will pay make sure he helps, find creative ways to make money in the side and jobs that work with school schedules , have trustworthy neighbors look out windows to make sure kids walk home safe , put lots of people you trust on speed dial and give them your number but don’t trust everyone , you will have to find opportunities to make money and be frugal but you can do it. Meet good people and be humble . The reward is beautiful because your kids will know later your sacrifice. Know many do understand even when it feels no one is there.
You are doing a fine job. Perhaps a friend could help you out or you could watch her kids in the evening to help her out also. Maybe you could do her ironing or bake for her in exchange. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. God bless you and don’t give up.
Ask for guidance and pray for clarity!
U just pray about it ask God for guidance n go about it. He will never leave you n he c will provide.
Well hopefully you can take your child to work with you!!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
I opened up my own Daycare. Best memories of my life!
My heart goes out to you with prayers! Do not be afraid!! Go thru the posts of helping advice, let it give you guidance, strenght, hope and determanation! Use it to know you can do, what is needed for you and your precious toddler, God has blessed you with! Review your options, to get the proper paper work started, your child’s father, is obligated to complicate you for part of her care!! Do this 1st and soon!! Then if there is a church you could, attend find one!These are Gods’ Angel’s on earth, that you talk to some of ladies, maybe in child nursery care, on Sunday morning! They may even know another, young Mom with same needs!! You will gain new friends , but you have to open up your heart and have strength to let them know your needs, and have no family support! If you could ask, even on facebook, if their is a mom, to get to know to get trust in each, to share maybe and apt. Or living situation with!! You could exchange childcare duties as you both maybe could work different work shifts, at your jobs and take care of each others child at home!! Or with sharing living expense, you could afford someone maybe, introduced thru the church!! This is what I did, when I was a single Mom, at 25 !! I had a good job, but I know how, tight expenses can be!! But with love for your baby and faith and strong will, you will do it !!! In my prayers, may Gid bless and guide you & your baby, to happy, good days ahead!!!
Enquire about childcare whilst ur learning. U can do it… x
You got this. You are stronger than you believe. Smarter than you know.
You just got to live with it like we did you’ll be fine you’ll se
Hard to do—but doable. Apply for assistance. You may qualify.
Don’t be scared, things will get better
Attitude and being positive go a long way.
You have to get child support or go on welfare.
Get the tax payers to support you and your kids
You can do this you’re stronger than you think
See if you can take your toddler to work with you
Conquer it one step at a time and just do it
It is scary. I did it too.
Day by Day and knowing you have no choice.
Same way I’m doing it barely no help nothing
I did it. It wasn’t easy
Ck government they are giving 300 a month for a while. Look into it
She was asking for actaul advice not moral support which is great too but she needs actual advice on what jobs n stuff yal had to support yourselves and your child
You can do this …focus on what you can do n work out your budget …
Reach out to your networks for help n support …you may even find another mumma in the same situation n decide to live together as flatmates n support each other .good luck
Find assistance. Live frugal. Its hard but do able. Make sure he helps financially with your child.
Keep finances super tight to only absolute necessities. If you have food pantries available utilize them. From there wing it.
Do tutoring on the side, use family and friends to help with your kids. Look into low income daycare assistance
Sounds like you are not in the US. Here there are tons of government assistance with child care. Check your government website, see if there is help.
Animate before inanimate and important before urgent and pray. That’s how I raised 5.
Alot depends on your living location.Certain areas will have more to accommodate your needs.Some wont.My town has none.
Don’t be afraid to access anything in your area. There are free food from charity organizations. Some of the groceries include biscuits and kids items. They are the type of things that you can’t normally buy. Charity shops have clothes and furniture. Do not be afraid to go in and look around. I love retro clothing and have found lots in those shops. I don’t know what they have in England but here we have playgroups where you can meet other mothers and your kids can play with others while you talk. It’s a good way to find out things like what free activities are available. I have a friend who has brought up 5 children on the single mothers benefits and she has her bank account set up to pay bills like electricity, rent etc in installments each pension day. She adds a bit extra when she can. Once she got ahead too much and they told her to stop paying for a few weeks! If you are paying a mortgage try to get ahead a little bit so you can ask the bank to stop your payments in December so Christmas isn’t so much of a burden. Remember your children are little so don’t need expensive gifts. Good luck don’t forget it won’t be long until they are at school so you can use that time during the day to study your self.
Do u have social services and child support where you are
Listen Mam I was left with three small children and I truly had a hard time raising my three by my self until GOD sent me help Trust JESUS Mam he will work it all out if you will trust him he surely worked my out let GOD be the one to handle this situation and you will see GOD will bless and move fast I know there’s nothing JESUS can’t do AMEN AMEN AMEN keep your eyes on JESUS
I was in the same situation.
Check with scholarships and bursaries that may be available. Apply for all of them. Meet with government sponsored agencies that offer support programs or financing, like training centre’s, employment centre’s, social services agencies. Get their help or recommendations. State your case. Describe how you want to elevate you and your child’s life. Enlist a local senior or teen that is affordable to babysit. Try to take as many classes as you can by online format, so you can be at home taking them.
I am in USA but maybe we have common ways to save. I clip coupons. I look for bargains on products I use. It is a lot of work but it is worth it in the end not just for yiu but for your child as well. I truly wish you all the best!
You just do it, manage your money very carefully, buy on an as needed basis and on sale, don’t eat out, save every Penny you can, save your change every day. It clothes at yard sales or thrift stores, don’t buy magazines or newspapers or internet, use the free services at the library. do have a cell phone for emergencies.
Catholic Charities , food banks, food stamps .
Make a list of priorities and then prioritize that list. I am sure the UK has some sort of subsidized help you can utilize
Community it does take a village to raise kids.
Find a church or a group of single moms to establish a support group,
God will make a way hang in there help is on the way
Get a top up from social welfare somebody told me
My mom worked three jobs, we were left at home unsupervised more than is legally acceptable but, she did a great job and I love her so much for it. Ma!!! You are my hero, thank you for everything!
I skipped meals. Made sure my kids had food. Made sure anyone watching them fed them a snack or meal. Found the cheapest place I could to live in. Keep the heat low, wore layers. One year it was so cold me and the boys put all the blankets on one bed and shared it. First king size bed I had. Never had one since. It came with the apartment.