I’ve been in your sister in law’s position. We’d been trying forever and had multiple losses when my brother and his wife got pregnant. I was happy for them! She will be too. She can be sad for her but happy for you at the same time. The fact that her feelings are on your radar at all speaks volumes. Congratulations!
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Pull her to the side first and Invite her to be part of the special moment. If she’s a good fit ask her in private to be the GOD mother or something of that nature. Also let her help you as much as she wants with a shower or special moments. Pay attention to signs and body language and be sure she is genuinely up for it. 
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I would speak to her privately before you announce it.
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There’s no real answer I wish I would’ve never announced mine. Because a lot of people where hurt. But at the end of the day it’s not your fault. Just have sympathy and kindness when she’s upset. 
That is really sweet that you are so concerned with her feelings. If you are close with her I would try to talk with her Privately and let her know that you were telling her first and explain to her the reason why you just didn’t want her to be upset when she found out in front of everyone else. Hopefully she will appreciate that gesture and not be mad that you think she can’t handle it.
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Talk to her first. Be gentle.
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I would sit down and talk to her privately.
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From someone that has tried and tried and had to finally adopt just be honest with her tell her first yes she is going to be hurt but she will still be happy for you the worst thing you can do is tell everyone else and her last because if she hears it from everyone else she will be more than hurt she will be mad
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Tell her first. That way she isn’t blind sided. Ask her to be the god mother. Ask her to help you plan a cute way to tell everyone else.
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Tell them first. And then give it some time before you announced publicly
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You cant…
They should be happy they will be getting a niece or nephew 
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u just do it. shell get over it. it’s something she needs to learn to deal with. i hate things like this. just because u are struggling to have chdren doesn mean the people around u who do get pregnant should be stepping on hot stones to have there happy moments.
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When I was trying to get pregnant my best friend got pregnant and was not happy about it whatsoever.
She told me privately before announcing it so I knew it was coming and wasn’t blindsided. It didn’t change that I was upset that she was having a baby that she really didn’t want (at the time) when I couldn’t but it allowed me to deal in my own way.
I would do the same thing. Tell her that you’re expecting and that you want to be sensitive to her. That’s all you really can do.
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I would tell her first maybe
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This is really sweet. I would tell her like you would a close family member, and I’d also probably say something like “I understand if it’s hard for you to be happy for me, and it’s okay. I’m here for you.” And I think she’ll really appreciate that. You won’t be able to change the way she feels, but you can certainly let her know that you realize it may be hard and you’re here for her. That may go a long way. I’m someone who struggled. It took me 6 years to conceive and I remember being so jealous of others and had a really hard time being happy for them. If someone would have just said “hey, I get it” then it would have been so refreshing to hear.
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l Get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14419 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://MoneyLooper148.pages.dev/
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You don’t. Especially if she can’t control her emotions about it.
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How close are you guys? If you’re not super close I wouldn’t make it a big deal or approach her before announcing to everyone. If it were me I think I would feel worse or at least awkward that someone was feeling like they needed to let me know first because of my own struggles.
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Your success isn’t her failure. Don’t downplay your joy bcuz of her struggles
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Well first off the fact your even considering her says a lot, just let her know privately ahead of time, that’s the best thing you can do. It’s sweet that you care
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If your close tell her first if your not then just let it be and she will be ok with it eventually. You still deserve to be happy and celebrate and I bet they wanna celebrate with you too! A baby is a blessing regardless of the misfortunes that came before she should be mature enough to know that’s not your fault and u still have feelings and wanna celebrate your own bundle of joy. There’s no right or wrong answer truthfully. Go with your gut momma
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I have no advice but want to tell you that you are such a sweetheart thinking of your sister in laws feelings like you are is just beautiful 
xx
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And congratulations on your pregnancy
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She will hurt and be happy just announce it. If you want to lessen the blow tell her you are feeling guilty because of her struggle.
Some of you guys are so incredibly rude… it’ll hurt because she is trying, but maybe (this is me) I would get her some flowers and go out to lunch and talk to her. You are so sweet for thinking of her.
As someone who battled infertility, thank you for thinking of her. Have a conversation so she knows that the announcement is coming. She will hurt for herself but hopefully be excited about her niece or nephew on the way. Congratulations and prayers for a happy and healthy pregnancy.
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Agree with Corri Anderson …
I think this is very thoughtful. People saying, “just do it and she will get over it”, obviously don’t have your level of empathy for their own family members struggling with tough stuff. I struggled to get pregnant for a combined 6.5 years. I had family members who got pregnant and called to let me know before they announced it to show compassion. Finding out was hard, but they were telling me individually to be kind and that they recognized my struggle. They also weren’t thrilled about their baby, which added a level of hurt because of how badly I wanted a baby. It was still hard, but I will never forget their kindness.
I’m now pregnant and have a family member struggling to get pregnant. I attempted to do the same thing with her, but my overly-excited mother got to her first. 
It still really hurts, but it softens the blow a little.
I also left out the part where I wasn’t exactly excited about being pregnant. Coming from my own experience, that would just make it worse for her.
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you’re not responsible for how others feel, make your announcement and be happy.
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How very thoughtful of you.
Tell her first. Include her in the announcement❤
You’re sweet to think of her feelings. Are you guys close? Tell her first.
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My baby was stillborn in 2019 and My cousin fell pregnant shortly after, when she told me she was like I know this may be bitter sweet for you but… my answer was, this is NOTHING but SWEET! I was so happy for her even tho I had feelings of sadness or even jealousy I was happy for her none the less. Now she’s onto her second and My rainbow baby is 9 months!
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I’d tell her first! Just the 2 of you. Once she’s ok with it, announce it to the rest of the family.
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Have your brother tell her, quietly. Then when you make your announcement… she will be prepared. Remember… this is something you can keep secret for only so long…
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However thoughtful you don’t need to damper your happiness to appease someone else.
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First off. Kudos to you for thinking of her. Second. Tell her first. Don’t make a big scene but have her over for dinner or something. Talk to her. It may surprise you how she reacts. This is coming from a positive, personal experience.
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I was sad to announce mine too due to a friend having difficulty and I felt bad because I didn’t even have to try to get pregnant with my son. I just announced mine and hoped that she didn’t hate me for it. She was so excited for me. She never said she was hurt or anything. I do know that she most likely was but didn’t show it to me. I was just thankful that she was still so happy for us.
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Tell her first! I went through the same thing with my sister.
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I lost 3 babies before my sister called to tell me she was pregnant. I was beyond happy for her and my brother in law, I was glad that she took the time to call me personally before I found out another way (I was across the country in the Marines). Honestly, I did grieve and shed my tears of sadness, jealousy, anger. Those feelings are inevitable when you’ve either been trying with no luck or have had miscarriages.
She will be happy for you but also be sad for herself. Your whole pregnancy will be emotional for her. Seeing your belly grow, the showers, the baby room. Just sit down with her and see what level of involvement she may like, if you’d like her to be involved. I’m sure she will appreciate that.
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Have your brother
Tell her to prepare for you joyous occasion. You don’t have to dumb down your pregnancy for her! Enjoy those 9mos as much as possible…
Talk to her b4 yoy announce and also make her and your brother God parents if you believe in that.
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Tell her first, and ask her if she is open to helping you announce it; make her part of it.
I also just want to say, this is beautiful so thoughtful, so kind
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Tell her first. Make sure she has a few days to digest before everyone else knows
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I would suggest telling her yourself, or perhaps telling your brother and asking him to tell her….Remember, You’re allowed to be happy and celebrate too.
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Tell her first privately at dinner or something. Ask her to be apart of the reveal to every one and if ur doing a gender surprise reveal ask her if she would be the secret holder and help with it. She may feel sad but honored that u want her involved and might ease the pain. A little bit
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To want to have kids is appreciating the gift to be able to bear kids and it runs deep.
You should enjoy the feeling of other woman being able to
You should enjoy the feeling of other mothers mothering theirs
So truly you seems sincere in not wanting to hurt her feelings
But her feeling a type of way however you would bring it across
Infact she should make this easier for you because you have been blessed to be able to bear because that’s the thing to love not only for yourself
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It’s not insensitive to celebrate something that someone else doesn’t have unless you’re rubbing it in their face. There’s homeless people everywhere. No one feels insensitive to celebrate getting a new home.
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How very sweet of you to acknowledge her pain. Congratulations 
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It would be best for you to go to her and tell her yourself ! I’m sure she would appreciate you doing that! Good luck!
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No matter what she will be hurt. There’s no way to avoid it. I agree with comments that say her struggles shouldn’t put a damper on your excitement. Do what you would do even if she didn’t struggle and don’t take anything negative personally.
As we were struggling and later d cided we’d adopt, my single fifteen year old sister was pregnant with twins. It hurt. Others suggested we adopt them but I knew in my heart that would causes problems. There were tough times but she was a great mom and although the youngest the matriarch of our family. Love you kiddo. We miss you
This happened to nee, too. I got pregnant when a relative was struggling…all you can do is be kind; but don’t let it rob you of the joy you are, rightfully, feeling❤️
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Could you tell her in private first?
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Either way she’ll be upset but I’m sure she’ll also be happy for you. Why don’t you take her out for lunch and have a chat about it. Let her know that you’re sensitive to her situation and don’t want to upset her. You’re allowed to celebrate your happiness regardless of others feelings but at least you’re keeping her feelings in mind which will help.
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Congratulations!!
It would be better to be honest with her.
You can either invite her over for a one on one. Or, you can send her some flowers with a note or you can send her a card letting her know.
She may be sad at first, but she will be happy for you and her brother.
Becoming an aunt is always special.
Don’t forget to involve her with the baby shower also. If she isn’t comfortable, then be sensitive to that.
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I don’t know how to advise you , but I do commend you on your thoughtfulness of your sister-in-law. You seem like a very nice person. God Bless You. I’m sure it will all work out for both of you.
This happened with my daughter, and yes she told her first before anyone then waited to announce it.
My sister in law lost their baby w days before we found we were pregnant with twins, we sat them down and told them without any family around. Both our mothers knew first but we wanted to make sure they were alright! And if they aren’t too happy about it then you gotta know it’s okay because deep down they are. It crosses my mind every birthday because we all celebrate our boys lives but they dont get to do that 
would’ve been a few days apart.
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