How do I still be the mommy I need to be when I am mentally exhausted?? I had a really bad day at work today (I’m at 911 dispatcher and most things don’t bother me but today took a toll) I came home and cried ALOT and when my sweet baby asked what was wrong I didn’t know what to say… I can’t tell her why I was crying, I just say mommy had a rough day. I want to leave it all behind but sometimes I can’t. Any other mommas that deal in law enforcement that have any advice?? TIA
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I work in mental healthcare, specifically working with children. This is a common and normal response. I do something that seems silly but has proved very helpful for me. Before I go home each day, I make a list of things to leave at work and then I leave the list behind when I go. It helps me get it out and the physical act of leaving it behind helps me do that mentally. I hope this is helpful. I also think self care is critical. When I’m struggling with self care I trick my brain into thinking its for my kids. I rationalize by doing it to teach my kids how important self care us for all of us. Feel free to reach out anytime you need support.
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Oh goodness, sweetheart. Just by asking this shows how genuine and sincere of a momma you are to your sweet baby. My husband is a firefighter and some of the calls he’s been on are life altering. If you need someone to chat with, just reach out love. Sending all the prayers your way 
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I wished I had an answer but here is a virtual hug, sending prayers for you, sometimes the job does get rough
Your work in a very stressful job, this can take its toll on anyone, taking time to re-evaluate what is best for you as a job & maybe look elsewhere into something less stressful. Sometimes a good massage, accupunture for balance or doing something you love to lift you up.
It’s ok for your kids to see you have emotions. It’s how you respond to those emotions that’s even more important. You are modeling natural behavior for them. You are doing a great job. It’s ok to have hard days!
Read a story circulating on the internet about a guy who would touch a tree in his front yard before he went in his house. He visualized pouring all the stress of the day into the tree and starting fresh when he went in the door.
You should also have access to mental health care from your employer on demand for such an upsetting job. At least an EAP you can call before you go home. There’s also the mental health hotline 988 to get you through the bad days.
Is there a way you can go cry and wail in your car before you drive home? Is there someone else who could pick up and/or stay with your child while you go for a walk, get a massage (reiki energy balancing might help), soak in a hot tub, punch a bag at the gym, or do whatever you need to wring out the emotions and soothe yourself before going home?
And if you cry and are upset in front of your kids, it shows it’s OK to cry, to have emotions, to be upset by upsetting things. Your kids are learning compassion. You are modeling good behavior.
Be sure you are taking appropriate time off to renew yourself also. Take your family to the beach, mountains or somewhere in nature away from noise and stress. Or get away to a spa or retreat by yourself or with a friend. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
And in case no one has told you lately, thank you so much for the incredibly important work you are doing and the heart you put into it. Sending love, hugs & comfort to you.
Its okay to cry in front of your kids. You’re showing them its okay to have emotions and be upset sometimes. I hope things get better for you. You’re still a great mom
My professor many years ago told me you must close the door and say I am leaving everything I experienced here until tomorrow. I was working with very sick kids and if I didn’t take his advice, I would not be able to go to work day after day.