Okay mommies,
I have a 2 year old daughter who has some pretty bad habits. She will get up in the middle of the night and play and wake her brother up who has school. She will get in any food she sees and make a mess everywhere. She will draw on anything and everything. She’s constantly hitting her brother. She tells everyone she hates them when she gets mad. Dss here is very, very strict on whopping and yelling at your kids. Both are considered abuse here. Any advice on how to stop some of these things?
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Following I am having the same problem with my son
May be a super difficult thing to do but if she has her own room completely empty it of everything but her bed and use a baby gate or put a child proof doorknob cover and a video baby monitor in there.
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With no consequences, she will continue doing this. She needs to be secured in her room if possible.
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Empty the room except for bed , pillow and blanket.
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Are u asleep when shes up,
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Can’t feel sorry for you. If you don’t stop her now from that behavior you will regret not having the guts to stop her, Where is the tough love you’re supposed to give.
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We never use the word HATE in our home… if a 2yr old uses the word HATE its cuz they have heard it somewhere… & thr r locks u can put on cabinets & ways to safely secure her in her room (with a monitor) so u can see her but if u dont find a way to stop her anger it may turn out very bad in her future
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Child proofing everything she gets into and out up all stuff she can color with. Baby jail at night time with child locks.
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Here’s my opinion… She’s 2 empty the room but she isn’t gonna understand that so pointless if you ask me.
Your 2 year old shouldn’t be up alone, dnt want her playing with her toys in the middle of the night then put her back in bed every single time she gets up. You don’t have to yell or be ugly just simply place her back in her bed repeatedly, u gotta be consistent.
Drawing on stuff… Again she is 2 most of us put that stuff up where they can’t reach it n require supervision when using it.
Eating any food she can, we child proof the kitchen for a reason, why is she able to get to this stuff alone anyhow.
Belive it or not you can teach your child right from wrong without yelling or putting ur hands on them, lots of parents do.
As for her words she heard them somewhere, at 2 they are mocking birds!!
Sorry but sounds like you are being a lazy parent who wants results without putting in the work. Your also allowing your toddler to be in pretty dangerous situations while not supervised. Before you can teach her you need to take responsibility.
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Just my humble opinion but she is 2and cannot call dss The Bible says spare the rod spoil the child, now that does not mean jump on her and beat her but spankings are not beating
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A small smack in the hand isn’t abuse just smack her hand and say no do not do that u don’t have to yell u just say it in a stern voice
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She’s at the age where she’s learning rules(if being taught) be consistent and please put up gates etc so she’s not wandering the house when everyone is asleep
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Be strong with her and consistent
Time out seat without toys every time she does these things start with two minutes and add a minute fit every time she leaves the seat. You explain calmly why they have this time out.
Don’t put off this to later or make empty threats to do it! Consistency is the rule
It’s exhausting to begin with but they actually do respond.
XX
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o this is a tough one mama bless your heart I do feel bad for u have u took like the stuff she drawls put it up high where she cant reach it also when she hits or says she hates people I would tell her that isn’t nice we don’t say those things bc it hurts our feelings and also she is 2 so she dosnt understand what hate means but remind her its not a nice word to say when she hits people make her sit down for 2 mins and tell her if she moves her time restarts she has to sit once she is out of time out I would explain the best u can that words she use isn’t nice at all but time outs do work so in the corner or sit down turn tv off don’t turn it on untill she is out of time out when its bed time I would tell her its quite time so we lay in bed and don’t get up if she gets up redirect her back too bed and make her lay back down if she gets up or is loud u get eye level and explain again she will catch on and also get locks for the cabinet and fridge so she can’t waist food either I would tell her its ok to be hungry u will help her get what she needs but u have to do time out or she will keep on doing it and redirect her dose help as well she is still learning and growing mama don’t be hard on your self ur doing fine just have to keep on her good luck too u sweetie
I would spank that ass I did not say beat i said spank big difference. I would take her favorite things away.I think you should have stopped that behavior long before now!!! If it’s that bad in my opinion it’s a result of being tired or passing it by saying she’ll be ok. well this is what you got now you have to fix it about week you getting up at 2 am tiring that ass up putting her back bed. an when you see her do something wrong correct her then not an hour from then if it is in public take care of it. spank that ass. stop worrying about DSS GOD TELLS US IN THE BIBLE SPARE THE ROD SPOILED THE CHILD YOU DON’T FIX NOW JUST WAIT UNTIL SHE IS 13 OR OLDER.
Many of you gave advice with the honest attempt of being helpful. Shame on those of you who judged her without knowing the full situation. I’m sorry but not every child is that simple. I had two boys. One whom was very easy to raise and the other who had ADHD. He has a wonderful heart but he challenged me every day!!! I am a great mom and both boys turned out to be amazing well mannered men However I remember feeling this very same way with my youngest. “Out of answers.” I went to doctors, teachers, therapists and friends for advice all the time (something I rarely had to do with my oldest). Every child is different and it isn’t something u can automatically blame on “bad parenting”. I’m sorry but this is a hot button for me as I have been in the receiving end of these comments and stares when my son was younger. I believe that parent with a child with ADHD or any other behavioral issue, will tell you we work very hard to keep our child on track. I was constantly disaplining, explaining, apolizing (taking him to aplogize), seeking help, reading and loving my child. I have made many mistakes in my life but being not being a great mom has never been and will never be one of them. (Not saying I haven’t made mistakes as a mom just that I am a great mom). Anyway before judging her parenting think about these things. Parenting is tough and if u have a child with a behavioral issue it’s even more so. Instead of breaking her down build her up. Help her with ideas it does no one any good to tare them down.
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There is never a reason to spank 37 countries have outlawed it for a reason. Please look into peaceful parenting and re direction. My parents did it in the 90s with me and my siblings and we all learned respect but didnt fear our parents like some of my friends who now have no relationships with their parents due to spanking and verbal abuse not that thats what your doing. Be consistent and keep it postive. Good luck mama
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Sticker charts really worked for my son. I honestly thought they were full of shit and stupid but I gave it a try. My kids will do anything for a sticker on their chart lol. At the end of the week they can trade their stickers in for a small reward, a toy from Dollar Tree, or a walk with just mommy and them, an extra hour of TV and staying up after siblings have gone to bed, a special snack. Or they can save there stickers till the end of the month for a bigger reward, like a $20 or less toy from Walmart, a sleepover, going to the movies with just us two. My oldest is saving for a headset for his Xbox. Also timeouts work well for young ones. But the thing is no eye contact, no talking to them at all! You must completely ignore them. And it’s hard! They must be in time out until AFTER they gave calmed down for 2 mins. (up until 10 mins) . There is a very good book called “The Incredible Years”. It goes through everything from time outs, sticker charts, rewards, ect. And rewarding your child for good behavior is a HUGE deal. Always praise a child! A child will do anything for attention, even if it’s negative attention like mommy yelling at them. I def recommend taking a look at the book!!
Keep her locked in her room at night. A simple lock on the door. Keep drawing materials and food out of her room and only give it to her when supervised. If she is hitting and yelling correct the behavior right away. Time out or a swat on the bottom. Either work at that age. I have raised a lot of kids and have worked as a prison guard( adult daycare)! You can fix this very quickly. I admire you for putting yourself out there for the love of your child.
If she is in her own room, install a good baby monitor, & close her door every night. Leave only soft, silent toys in her room, with a night light on, a few books to look at, maybe get a radio with very soft slow music playing all night & leave her.
If she is not in her own room, maybe look at a good pack & play with a baby gate on the door of the room she is in. & If shes sharing with your son, you may have to move her from there, & sleep in the living room with her or something.
As a parent, its your job to get up when they do, so you should either be in a room with/next to her, or have a monitor to hear her when she wakes.
Also maybe cut down her naps, amp up her activity in the afternoon & evening, & try lavender in her bath & on her bed sheets.
& if need be, do a week of melatonin to help regulate a healthy sleep pattern, which will probably cure most of the "anger’ shes having.
Here in nebraska the case workers always tell me it’s ok to spank your child on the butt but nowhere else. Obviously she is thinking she is in charge maybe once you see her acting this way put her in time out
Talk to to her and see if shell tell you why she’s doing what’s she’s doing or maybe get some professional help. There could be an underlying issue and until you figure out what that it, anything you do will only be a temporary solution to a long term problem and could cause more harm than good
You don’t need to yell at a kid to make them listen. My daughter is turning 21 months old in a few days time. I have set rules with her for bedtime and playing.
My little girl would too draw on anything and everything. If I get the pens out I have to make sure I am able to watch her the whole time whilst she has them. I get her some paper to draw on, and if I see her go to draw on anything else I say to her “no we don’t draw on that. Only draw on the paper I gave you and I will point to it. Then I will say if you go to do that again I will take the pens off from you”. And yes she has gone to do it again and yes I have took the pens away from her. I’ve not had to shout. I’ve just been firm and consistent with her. Yes she may have a tantrum but it’s the only way that they will learn, otherwise they will think that they can do whatever they like.
My daughter too went through a stage of making a mess with her food. Just constantly squeezed everything to make a mess. I left her to it. Kids are allowed to make a mess and it’s great sensory. But I just took away any snacks that I would usually give her in the afternoon. Which then made her hungrier at dinner time. If she hasn’t touched her dinner at all, I will allow her to carry on playing but if she comes up to me to go and get her something from the cupboard, I will say “you haven’t ate your dinner yet, so eat your dinner and you will get a treat”. Again there was crying but she done it eventually and I rewarded her with some pudding. The only time that I let it slip really is if she’s teething, but instead of doing that I give her an icelol to cool down her cheeks and gums, and then back to the high chair she goes. My daughter also goes to messy plays, so that allows her to make a mess in a controlled environment.
And as far as bedtime is concerned, my daughter knows she’s not allowed to play during the night. If she wakes up, she can come and have a cuddle with us until she falls back to sleep. But no toys. Not too long ago she was waking up during the night for hours on end due to teething, so I put on the TV, CBeebies, on BBC iPlayer and she watched a soothing programme until she went back to sleep. But then I noticed she was starting to make a habit of waking up at the same time whilst she wasn’t teething, so I didn’t put on the TV for her to watch and after a few days of her doing the same thing and there being no TV, she started to sleep through the night again. With children if you do it once, they will think that you will continue to do it. So I’ve learnt my lesson on that. It’s about stopping things before they become a problem and if there is a problem then find ways in resolving the issue.
If your daughter is playing with her toys in her room at night, then take them out of her room. If you’re allowing her to go down stairs, then don’t and say it’s bed time and not play time.
My daughter went through a stage of hitting. The first time she done it was at a soft play. The girl she hit had done nothing wrong. So I moved her away from the girl and explained to her that she cannot hit other children. I apologised to the child. Then I took her straight home, I even threw away her slush puppy as it’s a treat and I told her that naughty children don’t get treats. She had her juice instead. And I told my family to not give her any treats either as she has to learn that if she’s naughty she doesn’t then get rewarded by anyone. My family listened to me. Then the next time we went to go back to the same place, I said to her “if you hit anyone then you won’t be allowed back here again until you learn not to”. I know it’s her favourite place as well. And that whole day she did not hit a single child and hasn’t ever since. So we rewarded her a lot and spoilt her with treats.
Her daddy was playing with her and she accidentally hit him. So he laughed as it was an accident. And then she thought it was okay to smack him. I told her off and said to her that you can’t hit anyone. But she done it again, so I sat her on a chair and told her she had to sit on the chair until mommy says she can move, so she has time to think about what she done. She wasn’t on there for very long. But after a few seconds of silence. I went over to her and I said “well done for sitting nicely on the chair for mommy and for listening to me. You’ve had a time out as you weren’t listening to mommy and continued to hit daddy. I explained that hitting people isn’t nice and that it has made daddy upset. I asked her how she was going to make daddy feel better? And she then climbed off from the chair and went over to her daddy and gave him a cuddle. Children sometimes just need some time to think about their actions. It’s important to teach them not only what is wrong but how to make things right again and it’s important to reward them when they listen to you. No parent is perfect. I’m not! But it’s about learning from your mistakes and correcting your behaviour just as much as you correct theirs. I hope you can take some advice from what I’ve done but I know very well that every child is different so the same techniques don’t work with everyone of them. Good luck xxx