“I am tired! I suffer from mental illness…anxiety, severe depression, panic disorder, disordered eating, suicidal ideation, etc. I am exhausted ALL the time . I usually need to have a nap during the day. It’s taking a toll on me and my kids . My depression is to blame for me being a single mother , their father left us. I am tired of not being able to take care of my family. I have an appt with my psych on Monday. It’s only my 2nd time meeting with him. I am slipping back into depression, mainly because of the separation and dealing with everything alone, the stress of bills and now school shopping, I am anxious all the time, and have been having panic attacks. It feels like it would be easier if I were not here. I feel like such a burden. I love my family, but just feel like I cause more issues. My brain can be a scary place at times. I have been in Unit 9 once before, and while it helped somewhat, i am terrified to go back there. I don’t want to have to have the same psych. i found her to be very cold and I had a really difficult time talking about what was happening with her. I really felt like she wanted me out. So in the end, I agreed that I should go. I don’t think I was ready to go. So now here I am spiraling downward and don’t see where this ends. I just want my life back. How do I handle this all alone ? He just up and left and my kids start school in less then 2 weeks with nothing.
If you go to church try talking with your pastor,ex. It mit help
You’ve got to take care of what’s going on inside you so you can take care of those babies. Reach out to friends and family. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I promise you people care more than you think they do. As far as the kids starting school, you should have local organizations and churches that can help with that. Do a little research and you should be able to get them set for school. A support group would probably benefit you as well. It really helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing. You might even make some new friends. It’s hard work but you can get better and live the life you and your kids deserve. Sending love and positive vibes your way mama. 
I promise you, you leaving or hurting yourself would do more harm and cause more problems for your children and family. I know times get tough but every bump leads to somewhere beautiful. Hang in there. It’ll get better! Even when it doesn’t feel like it, it WILL.
I’ve been there and still a single parent. Its hard with mental issues I’m there too. Please see a psych and therapist. It will help so much and you will make it through this. Huggs
Do you have any family? Whitney is right hurting yourself hurts the family more than you will ever know. They might not be fully aware what your going thru
Pray pray prayers He is listening
Hang in there, sounds like you’re trying and medicine could definitely help. Try to remember suicide does not end the pain just passes it on to the ones we care about the most. The world, your kids world would not be better without you. Days can be hard but they will get better. Try reaching out to church, schools, Facebook groups in your area for school supplies, maybe someone can help. Naps are sometimes needed and with the kids back in school may give you more time to rest and heal. Good luck and know you are love and needed and it can get better.
I suffer from these things and my husband left me with 4 children 16 years ago. My first step was the ER .They examine me extensively then had mental health come in. I spent 1 month in a mental hospital. That’s 1 of many but with good doctors, finally finding the right meds and continuing seeing my doctor I am way better. Mental illness is hard. It has to be treated. I have God in my life, but lm sorry, you still have to have medicine.
I would go to a psychiatrist to get diagnosed and medicated if I were you. I would also start seeing a therapist and see if there is a way to determine the root cause of these feelings so you can target the issue at the source and not solely cover it up with medication. Meds are great until you have to rely on them. Sometimes it’s hard for us to live our lives the way we are “supposed” to and that’s okay. Just know each day you try is you doing your best that day. Even if that means the house is a mess but the kids are fed. Maybe try some yoga and guided meditation? It seems as if you definitely need something to help calm you down. What do you like to do? Find that and try doing it at least once a day. Find something that you can see yourself living for each day. Even if that thing is your morning cup of coffee or watching a specific show at the end of the day. Small steps, love. Definitely seek help as soon as you can. You have people counting on you. You’re counting on you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m around. Life is hard, man. It’s even harder when you feel alone. You got this. Keep your head up and try your best to stay away from the scary part of your brain. Sending lots of love your way❤
Welp, you seem extremely articulate and aware of all of your issues, so you have clarity and are capable of introspection, reasoning, and proper thought processing… therefore… I do not believe you are as mentally ill as you think you are… I was told this that and the third in my early years, diagnosed with this and that and at one point on 6 medications for all my “mental issues” and depression. I turned 18, my insurance ran out, no meds, no therapists, I am now 40 and paid $560 for a full psychological evaluation and guess what? Nada, zip, zilch, not a damn thing wrong with me… speaks volumes. I had eating disorders, depression, manic depression, bipolar, PTSD, whatever… and somehow cured myself?!? I have never thought about mental illness the same and people who constantly label themselves, I still suffer from extreme tiredness, and hate to be around a lot of people, so I stay at home a lot, and prefer zero drama in my life, as I am not good with it at all… but, there is nothing mentally wrong with me. Sometimes I have insomnia for weeks and sometimes I can’t drag myself out of my room and sometimes I have a perfectly “normal” sleep pattern… I call it being me, nothing more and nothing less. For someone whom is also extremely articulate and can write down exactly what I feel and what the problems are, I think you just need to start accepting yourself and dealing with things head on and changing your lifestyle to suit you and your personality. There is no normal.
I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety and PTSD for as long as I can remember. But please remember that your children need you! It may not seem like much but to those kids, you are everything! I was a single mother for 4 years after my son’s dad died. I felt even more helpless than I felt before he died, but my son is what keeps me going every day. It’s great you are getting help because it sucks feeling like a failure or feeling like your kids would be better off without you. Just know that your kids love you and need you even if you don’t see it or feel it. Hope you get to feeling better and believe you are stronger than you think you are.
I’m so sorry you are having such a rough time. I don’t suffer with this so I have no words of advice. I can pray for you tough.
Prayers that you can get the help you need! Your children need you and you need them. Hang in there you have a lot of peeps rallying for you in this thread. Don’t give up… If you are a believer in christ then start praying for relief and start journaling your thoughts. God is mighty and he can take you through the trouble waters!
Keep pushing yourself sweatheart,go to your pych and actually listen to them and take your meds.I have been there and I know you feel hopeless right now but remember it will get better and you will be more energized and able to enjoy those babies.Life is good you just have to grab the bull by the horns and make it happen. You will be happy again and all the wrenches that are thrown in your path you will overcome.
I’m so sorry what you are going through so much
And sometimes life is hard the only advice I can offer is turn your troubles to God
just keep pushing forward even if you don’t think you can. try and exercise it helps so much with depression but I get it bc I go through it too and who wants to actually get up to exercise when they feel like that… but it does make a huge difference. there are places that can help with school supplies. how old are the kids? if they are young they won’t need too much supplies.
Take one step at a time… remind yourself that you created your children carried them for nine months .Now looking after them .they look up to you for the love they need and security… the father just walked away you say well that was his choice and shame on him… but he will be expecting you to run back to him please don’t as you are stronger than you think. Kids need someone to rely on and you are that person. Now you say you were uncomfortable when you visited last time at doctors please tell them and you may get someone who is more professional for you …I know it isn’t easy being a single parents but you are not alone and don’t ever think you are a failure because you aren’t… your ex is the failure for walking away from you and family… you are loved by your children and even tho we will never meet I admire what you are doing to help yourself and kids. Go to social people who can help you through tough times …you will be amazed how people can help you take care and all the best .x
Don’t sweat the school stuff. The school & other organizations make sure kids who don’t have much are covered for school supplies, and check with the guidance counselor if you need clothes as sometimes they’re available too.
Hope your new shrink gets you on something that works for you. It may take a while to find the best one(s), but they DO help, sometimes a LOT.
Tai Chi is gentle and
helps balance you out. Meditation, music, being around positive people, developing a support system (including the people on this site) can all help lift your spirits. Good luck, we’re all rooting for you! 
Talk to the school, there are tons of programs to help you and there is no shame in asking fir help to take care of your kids. You can get help with lunches, breakfasts, they can help with school supplies and clothes and shoes.
There are also tons of programs to help outside if school. Use the social programs, you are who they are there to help and it is a hand up not a hand out as long as you keep trying to get stable footing. (((Hugs)))
It sounds Like you’re doing what you can. Scheduling a psych appt is huge, and the first step to getting better! One day at a time. My local salvation army had one day a week that they give vouchers to those in need, I know is not the same as brand new clothes, but is something. They also give back packs stuffed w school supplies. Maybe spend some time on the phone and call around, county welfare office, food shelf, ECFE(early childhood & family education) see if there’s any programs to help you? I’ve been in similar situation and I know is scary, but remember: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. This is only one little blurp in the big picture of your life 
Hang in there and keep reaching out!
Put your faith in god