If my sperm donor hasn’t seen my daughter contact her or anything how can I change her last name? Because there wanting his signature so I can change it.
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Nothing pretty sure you’ll have to get the signature
Is he on the birth certificate?
You can’t without his signature.
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If he is on rhe birth certificate, nothing without his signature
U need his permission from him especially if he is on the BC
I think you may have to file for abandonment but I might be wronf
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How old is she? When was the last time he saw her?
I thought sperm donors were anonymous.
You’ll have to terminate his rights or go to court and ask permission for him to sign it to change it
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Then you will need his signature
You can’t without his signature
Document, document document, every single day he goes with no contact document. If he reaches out, document. Screenshots, anything that will help you file a motion in court to change her last name. A judge has the final say if he/she sees what a deadbeat they truly are.
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Unfortunately you have to either have him sign or file to take his rights
The only 2 ways to do it are (1) get his signature (2) petition the court for termination of his parental rights. To do this you must prove that he’s not had contact with the child of his own accord and he hasn’t paid child support or contributed to the upbringing of the child. Often times if you terminate parental rights you will not have right to child support.
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I just went to the courthouse and did a name change for my daughter. Didn’t need his signature. Had a court date and he wasn’t there so they granted it.
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You shoulda thought about that 
.
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Not what state u are in but you will have to motion the courts & you will have to explain why, you may need to prove he hasn’t been there & in Michigan you have to put it in the news for a couple weeks if u can’t get court papers to him. Then the judge will approve or deny it.
Then he will need to sign y ask when u have been told
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If he’s just a sperm donor & doesn’t want rights to the child, it shouldn’t be that hard to get his signature. The plus is that if he gives up his rights, he also won’t have to pay child support … might be a good selling point when you ask for his signature.
You clearly already have your answer…
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What’s the point? Just sounds spiteful
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It’s a complicated process babe :(( he has to sign his rights over completely
He has to give up his Parental rights or you have to file for abandonment. That’s the only way
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That’s why I didn’t give my daughter her dads last name we were not married and I didn’t have to give her his last name that way I can change it if I want to… but I believe you have to have him agree to it and that’s always hard I’d get a lawyer involved so it can be done right
Don’t change it. Go after him for child support.
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Just use your last name as preferred name on documents etc.
I had this argument before with my daughter’s dad. It’s a last name. If she gets married who’s to say she won’t change her last name.
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It’s a process through the judge.
After 365 consecutive days of no contact you can petition to have his parental rights severed completely. After that you can petition the court and take it before a judge
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This is sad…two stories to every single situation…
You can not terminate his parental rights, without having another man who is willing to adopt them. It’s called the “Anti Bastard” child law. It’s also extremely difficult to get their rights terminated. She will get married and change her name in 20 years probably anyways.
In MN you just need his consent not rights signed over or anything.
You need to file for parental abandonment with the courts, along with proof that there’s been no contact (statement from family/significant other saying they support the child & know there is no contact).
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Idk where your from but my SIL just went thru this and he (daughter’s father)had to have no contact or even attempted contact for 6 months straight and then they didn’t need him to sign his rights off. She also had a lawyer. And we’re from PA but her daughter’s father lives in either OH or AR
I believe if your child is under the age of 5, you can legally change your child’s name for free through the court. This may vary by state.
Depends on your state
If you are in Australia
You can apply to
Births, Death’s and marriages for a change of name
It’s HER name too… leave it alone. It’s not YOUR name to change. She can do that when and if she wants to.
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I would consult an attorney. Laws vary from state to state. A lot of attorneys will give you the first phone consult for free. Be sure you don’t want to go after him for child support first. If you change her last name, that may mean terminating his parental rights, which means he wouldn’t have to pay. Personally, I’d feel better knowing he couldn’t show up later and want to fight me for custody. Still there’s the fact your little girl may get curious about him later on and get upset that you changed her name and cut him out of her life without giving her any choice in the matter. I’m not trying to confuse the issue, just point out all sides of it. You decide what is right for the two of you.
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You can’t just change her last name because he hasn’t been around…
You may have to take it to court. And prove he hasn’t been around. Depends on the state.
But, in all honesty, why change it? She deserves to know where she came from.
My mom didn’t change our last name when my dad up and left…
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Why are you worried. Is it your name or social security number. Leave it alone, just like im trying to do.
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I just did this in Oldham co, ky.
Dad left us in Nov 2019. Zero contact or support since.
2 years later I began the process.
He is on the birth certificate, and I was still able to do so without his permission/approval.
This is what I did:
Mail him the required paperwork. You can find it online free on your county court site.
Include a letter asking him to sign it. (MAKE A COPY OF ALL PAPERS SENT TO HIM)
Send certified.
If you’re lucky, he’ll sign and return. You turn it in and voila.
If you’re not, like me, he’ll just ignore it… so then:
Once you confirm delivery, (I got a slip that says individual picked up from post office on this or that day)
I took my copies of the paper work, I signed my side, took the certified mail slip, and $75 to the courthouse and filed.
They said 7-10 days judge will approve or wanna take more steps.
A week later I got a letter saying they just wanted to check with him once more and assigned a warning order attorney.
She then did the same paperwork and sent it to him.
She also put an article in the local paper in his area, he was hunted down 1,100 miles from us, in texas…and it went on a 50 day hold.
He had 50 days to respond.
He didn’t. He received and ignored all notices…
Judge approved after 50 days. The warning order cost me 200$
Had he responded and said no, it would have been given a court date… (he likely wouldn’t have shown and it would have been approved… or he coulda shown and looked dumb when my son had no clue who he was… and I still may have had a shot)
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You need to prove ONE of 5 things to have his rights signed away…. Which is probably what you need anyway tbh. Two of those things include abandonment, him not trying to contact. The other is not providing financially for the child in a year.
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My sister’s friend changed her kids last name, she said all she did was call the number on the back of the birth certificate & showed proof she had more custody & was able to do it without the fathers signature.
I’m not sure how accurate that is, but it’s worth a shot.
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I just went through this (NJ). I filed the paperwork with the courthouse and they give you instructions. I had to notify their bio Dad (certified mail) and he had a chance to dispute it. He didn’t bother to respond to the petition and the judge granted our request. (My sons are 16 and 13 and it was the 16 year olds’ idea to change it, and he spoke to the judge. It literally took 3 minutes in front of a judge (zoom call) because the bio Dad was a no-show.
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Depends on the state but you generally have to either get his signature or prove he has abandoned her which is a separate process…in my state it’s putting an add out requesting the father comes forward or parental rights will be lost
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If the original poster is reading this, feel free to message me I literally just went through this. You don’t need his signature, you don’t have to terminate his parental rights, etc. (at least in my state, may vary by state). I filed paperwork with the court and had to send bio Dad certified copies of the paperwork. He has no contact with the kids and isn’t in their lives. He contacted me when he got the paperwork and said he would fight it, but he never ended up contacting the court. He is still ordered to pay child support (I told him I wouldn’t fight it if he petitioned to stop the order), they didn’t terminate his rights. He chooses not to be in their lives so they chose to change their last name (it was my 16 year olds’ idea).
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You can change her name any time for any reason. Its just a form you fill out with the court and then you swear before a judge for them to approve it.
In my state you have to file the paper and hang it in the court house plus mail a copy to the other parent and they have 30 days to object to it after that you can legally change it
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You have to talk to your court legal assistance. In some places if you have no contact you have to prove attempt by putting it in the news paper. Others won’t let you without his permission.
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Your going to have to send out a letter from the courts stating you want to legally change her name and he has to sign off his rights to her. Which means no child support nothing from him. If he doesn’t respond they’ll hold a hearing for you to change her last name and if he doesn’t show they’ll change it. (My mom did the same thing when I was little, I barely remember it but I do know that he has to know and be notified about it)
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I got a lawyer and did it that way so that way it couldn’t come back on me
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Lolisa Cowley you went through this whole process before. Maybe you could give your advice?
I’m going through this now as well. My kids have asked me several times to change their last name. I was told to consult an attorney. And it’s 200 for each child ( at least where I’m from) you have to notify the other parent and has to run in the paper for 10 days first.
get the paper and a pen say what you want to happen then take the butcher kniefe out of your purse grab his crotch and say do we need to be any clearer as to your signature
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Are you saying the man who donated his sperm so you could have a baby or just being resentful because YOU CHOSE a man who has different values than yourself? The term “sperm donor” has such a negative connotation and is used so often from women that made poor life choices. You chose him and had a child with him. Referring to him as “sperm donor” says so much about you. Even if he is a monster of a person, you now have an amazing child from him. That deserves to be recognized and acknowledged. We all have made poor decisions, but my gosh… give your child’s biological father some credit. You sound bitter and angry. I feel bad for your kid because the resentment you have over her father. That’s sad. My children have a dad who’s not a part of their life. There’s actual sperm donors doing great things for women and families not able to otherwise have children.
I had to have him sign off on the papers and have it signed by a judge
Consult a lawyer. If he has not seen his daughter or made any payments perhaps you can get some money as well as a sign off for her name change.
When I changed my daughter’s last name to my married name, all I had to do was consult with an attorney…and she done all the work…$750 for everything…and they did not have to contact her “sperm donor”…he’s still on her birth certificate but we got a new one with her “new” last name & then got her SS card changed…i’m in Louisiana. The only way he would have been contacted was if there was an adoption to change her last name. Then he would’ve had to sign his rights over. I mean he hasn’t had shit to do with her in over 11 years so 
Every state is different I will start by saying. In Massachusetts I went to probate court and payed around 200 to start the paperwork. Because bd is on the birth certificate I had to send a certified letter (even though I told them he didn’t live there) so it got returned to me, and then around 13 cents a word to have notice of surname change in my local newspaper for 2 weeks, and then the Judge signed off. I did it during covid and only went to the courthouse once to file the first paperwork and everything else was done by mail back and fourth. Good luck 
. Always check your state though because I’ve seen different people have different processes
I don’t know how every state works, however from my country the process is if parental responsibility is with both parents then he/she will have to get either oersons signatures and filed to the courts.
If he is the sperm donor why did u still go through with putting his last name for your child
Usually have to go to court
In the uk my daughter needed her boys father to agree so we did it by deed poll instd
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Get a lawyer. U CAN do it without the sperm donor… But there’s steps a lawyer has to take to accomplish that
Depending where your located, where I am ( Australia) I need his permission and for him to sign all rights over… ( hasn’t seen or been in my son’s life for 12 years… son will legally change his last surname at 18 now which is only a few years away
Depending on the state, in Ohio the biological parent must sign rights over. They would rather the biological parents retain custody and provide medical insurance and provide financially then terminate parentage. We are going through this now. Even if the biological parent has no visitation rights and has never seen the child since 6 days old and does not provide court ordered support or insurance they still have rights if they are on the birth certificate
Go to court if you don’t no where he is say that! If you do still say you don’t:upside_down_face:
Then you can’t change it with out the father. That’s like common sense he’s the dad he has a say in what happens rather he’s in her life or not
Sounds like you need his signature then.