My toddler does not want a hair cut but her hair is legit in her eyes all the time and she doesnt want me brushing it our putting it up all the time…we think she may have autism…but is still to young to be diagnosed…what can I do to make this a positive exp for her?
32 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I convince my toddler to get a haircut?
My toddler didn’t have a choice shes 2 
she screamed and kicked up a fuss but i couldn’t take it in her eyes anymore! Cruel to be kind so she could see again literally took 2 seconds to cut the fringe left the rest it’s curly and wild!!
42 Likes
If autism is suspected it’s never too early to get her seen you can definitely be referred to specialists who can help you better navigate life with HER NEEDS…
4 Likes
My son is autistic doing his hair at 2 was near impossible he literally had ringlets like a pot doll, I found the best solution was to brush it out a bit while he slept, you could try trimming her fringe that way aswel, Also my 3 year old daughter hated brushing and styling to but kids hair tutorials on YouTube made her want he’s doing and letting her brush my hair first xxx
1 Like
Yes I just went through this with my 2yr old daughter but I told her if you don’t let me cut you bangs then you have to put your hair up she fought me on it for a couple days I didn’t push her I just made her put it up or were a head band then finally she gave in and let me cut it
Do you think she has autism because she doesn’t want a hair cut? Or are there other things you’re noticing? I’m confused. A lot of toddlers don’t want their hair cut. It’s a new and scary experience. Make it fun for her. Let her know mommy goes for hair cuts all the time and maybe let her watch you get your hair cut before you have her get hers done. Show her there’s nothing to be afraid of and make sure to let her know her hair will grow back healthier and faster when she gets it cut 
29 Likes
I think a lot on this page won’t understand how distressing hair cuts can be for kiddos with autism/sensory concerns. Mine never cared about hair in his face but the absolute monster hours long meltdowns about haircuts weren’t worth it. It would completely ruin everyone’s day. We just let it grow and would do quick trims with scissors once or twice a year. Suddenly at age 12 he finally decided hair cuts aren’t so bad and gets them much more regularly now. It was all in his own time. It’s just hair and not a big deal with whatever you decide to do. Haircuts were not a battle I chose to fight. For brushing it, maybe just put hair care as part of your daily routine done at the same time, sandwiched between two more preferred activities. Or let her do or eat something preferred while you’re doing her hair, watch a show, have the ipad, hold her favorite toy, etc. Even if it’s just a quick half of a brush, setting it up as part of the routine will get her to expect it and be more comfortable over time.
18 Likes
If she doesn’t want her haircut, respect it.
Or try social stories.
My middle.child we would go to the barbershop, if he said no, we just didn’t do it.
I’d ask ask every time, eventually while holding him he got the bang trimmed and we slowly worked to the chair. Watching his oldest brother get his hair cut helped.
8 Likes
Small exposure to hair care… done daily… she will get used to hair maintenance. Don’t cut it, because eventually it’ll need cut again… just let it grow out fully and there won’t be any issues. A lot of kids at that age have a weird hair phase until it gets long enough.
My son is 4, he has long hair past his shoulders the whole hair cutting process is too much for him and I respect his wishes to have long hair, he is autistic and likes his hair to cover his ears, I don’t see the problem 
even if he is mistaken for a girl but since when was hair based on gender 
boys can also have long hair 
If she is saying no then use hair clips, etc
Try watching master bread on Netflix. Bring a tablet and lolly pop to the appointment
What we did for my son was the women gave him the spray water bottle and he sprayed me the whole time. Now he wants his haircut all the time.
Oof. That’s hard. If it is in her face bad then I suggest trimming it while she sleeps. Wait until she is a little older to take her to a shop. Or find a shop near you where someone is comfortable and able to cut a child’s hair with autism.
When my youngest needed his first hair cut at 2yo I cut his older brothers hair first. His 3yo sister mocked me by pretending to cut his hair. That wasn’t planned. It made him excited to get a hair cut. But the sound & vibration of the clippers freaked him out!!! 1 swipe with the clippers & he was frailing all over like a fish out of water. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t leave his hair like that. They had one of those peg board things you hit with a hammer. 1 of the kids put it in front of him so he could bang in it. When he did they acted silly. He was entertained long enough to get it cut. He’s 9 now. He gets his hair cut maybe once a year. I let him decide when. No pressure. People make rude comments like calling him a girl, telling him he needs to get it cut etc. We just ignore it. It’s too much stimulus for him. The towel around him is rough & feels like he can’t breathe. The hair that lands on his skin feels like needles stabbing him. The clippers “will buzz my brain out”. Yeah it’s fun. It usually it takes 2 or 3 times to completely cut his hair. Then he’s mad for hours. Good luck.
Uhmmm my kid cries bloody murder but they aren’t given a choice? Lmao
I don’t know how you convincea toddler to do much of anything. Toddlers don’t get much of a say in the welfare of their day today lives. If they did they would never bathe or eat real food. Most kids cry when they get their first hair cut. You explain what is going to happen and that they get a sticker and a sucker afterwards. My son was 3 yo when he asked for a hair cut like daddy and he still cried the first 5 times. Kids don’t really know what they need or want they just know that they fear change.
I’ve heard of kids hairdressers where the salon is playful and kid friendly, but you’d need to research it…
Cut her fringe in her sleep
All these people saying not to give her a voice shame on you. You don’t want a child to understand consent?
2 Likes
Don’t cut her hair.take her 2da salon.generally hairstylist have a way of bribery.or u can do it.just do a very short fringe 4now.see wat she likes.a toy ,sweet or something of he favorite 2distract her.when she older u can cut .my grandson is 2yrs n 9months.had his hair removed less then month after birt n one hair cut at da salon.he was cool with dat.but bcis we love his curls my daughter hasn’t cut his hair again
She’s a toddler… why would you think autism bc she’s acting out about things she doesn’t want to do? That’s normal toddler behavior and you have to teach them to behave, bc that’s part of parenting. Don’t give her an option.
2 Likes
Umm you should be brushing her hair regularly regardless of what she wants, she’s a toddler
Also cut her bangs if you feel you need to, YOU are the parent
5 Likes
You don’t. Her body, her hair her choice. She will come to you when she is ready. Haircuts can be very traumatizing.
23 Likes
She doesn’t want it cut so respect that and clip it back
Just because she is little doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own mind x
16 Likes
She is 2! Your choice. People are such snowflakes these days. As she gets older, and is able to make good choices, then let her make that decision. She is 2…still a toddler. These other people are not having to brush the knots out of her hair. You do you!
6 Likes
If it is in her eyes it sounds like you should let it keep growing. Put it in a tiny elastic on top of her head. If you cut it to bangs it will need cut every couple weeks and that really will not be fun. Best of luck!
6 Likes
I’m a hairdresser. I have kids come to me that won’t let anyone else touch their hair. One suggested I will make is to call it a trim and not a cut. Sometimes kids think haircuts will hurt because cuts hurt. Is there a way that would make her comfortable? Does she go with you when you get your hair done? Maybe she can watch you and see it’s ok. I put a towel under the cape for kids with sensory issues. I’ve done haircuts with kids standing playing with toys, asleep/awake with parents holding them anything that makes them comfortable. Also if it’s the bangs only maybe just get those done.
2 Likes
Take her to a salon, it’s always different when mom does hair things verses a stylist. She may not react the same way, or she could freak out. Use your better judgement. As a hairstylist I’ve been hit, cut by my own shears protecting the child from being cut, and I’ve had a child almost whack their head on my station. All because the parents forced haircuts. Give her a solid 5-10 mins into the cut before you decide to leave if she freaks out.
1 Like
Both of my toddlers have hair that grows straight into their face, I just give them something to do while I do their hair. I have identical twins and one of them would let me sit and put 10 braids in her hair if I felt like it and the other one won’t tolerate more than about 2 minutes of work on her hair. Neither one of them has autism. But I tell them we need to get their hair out of their eyes so they can see and be safe, and then I let them watch a show they like for the 10 minutes it takes me to do their hair. I also do it every single day so it’s just part of the routine. Try something simple that will stay all day like a half up half down or just take the front section and pull it back in a small elastic. Get her involved too. Let her pick out the elastics or clips! Let her hold some while you style her hair.
Also I highly recommend using a Wet brush. It makes hair brushing painless.
1 Like
For all those screaming “abuse” or they can’t do it to autistic kiddos with sensory processing disorders… yes you can. I did… my daughter for her first was terrified but after she realized she wasn’t going to be hurt during it (sharp objects moving towards her so it’s scary) she came to love it. I have to prevent her cutting her own hair and if she sees my hubby or I getting our hair cut she absolutely insists because she enjoys the beauty and being able to see! 
Yes the first experience can be scary but it stays that way if you enforce it that way. We made it fun once she calmed down and let her look at her new pretty princess hair in the mirror (just an inch or two off for dead ends). We then video called nana and grandma so show off her hair. If she didn’t like the cut then I’d not do it again but I will make sure her hair is taken care of. 
dead ends removed and then some at some points. Routine and fun is the whole process for autistic kiddos.
1 Like
There are lots of children’s shows about hair cuts that may help. Search YouTube.
Also, maybe take her with you to get your hair cut (bonus if your family can all go like husband, other kids, grandparents etc). Let her watch to see how “fun it is”.
If all else fails, just don’t force it. That will create stress and potential trauma.
You could try having someone give her some bangs while she sleeps to get a few hairs out of her eyes.
2 Likes
If you do suspect autism, find a salon that helps in those situations. You just gotta call around your area and see who would fit best and work best with your child. Explain that you are suspicious of your child having autism but they aren’t diagnosed due to age. I’ve seen most kids hair cut places has someone that just clicks so well with kids with autism. Good luck mama
2 Likes
We took my daughter to kid snips for her first haircut which went well but if she may have autism it could be sensory overload for her. Another way we were able to get her excited was by having a hairdresser come to our house and we got haircuts first while she watched and then she wanted a turn and did really well sitting for the hairdresser. We do have random haircuts that she hates when she isn’t in the mood but overall she enjoys them now.
Leave her hair alone. Get clip to clip her bangs to the side until they grow out. If she is on the spectrum, she may use it for stimulation. She’ll get used to having a clip in.
I think it’s a just a kid thing to both not want to get their hair cut for the first time (because it might seem scary to them) and not wanting to brush their hair. My 7 year old hates her hair being brushed, she asked to get her hair cut short so it would be such a big deal to brush. So that’s what we did, so I wouldn’t jump to conclusions to quickly, they could just be expressing very common feelings for toddlers
My son was the same and also getting tested for autism
What helped was
- A barbers that had the wee car seat for kids
Turkish people are so great and and patient with kids - Take a comforter or fav toy
- If you or someone you know gets a trim first then her to show her it’s nothing to be scared off
Good luck xx
If she doesn’t want it cut, I wouldn’t cut it. Let her brush it, put clips in to move them, etc. If she will watch/do something to get her distracted, you can do a quick fix.
1 Like
I have a 5 year old with autism and between the ages of 2-4 hair was hell I would ended up leaving it down most the time but I would tell her we had to brush it if she wanted to keep it I would say just keep working with her it is a long road and will take a lot of patients 
My boys we started out doing haircuts at home, they would help me cut hubbies hair so they seen it didn’t hurt. Then we would gradually do their hair - my 1.5 yr old sits like a champ and let us do his whole head no issue. My 3 year old gets bored half way through so we let him help as much as he can (he brings everything down to one length, then we shorten from there)
Maybe try including her, and letting her see it’s fun? 
good luck momma!
My daughter is older (5) but for as long as I can remember and she could understand I told her if we don’t brush it daily I’m cutting it off. If she can’t understand it’s different. But the sprays and stuff help for knots.
I also started doing her hair where she wanted vs the bathroom.