Not necessarily mom related but my husband works out of town. He’s gone way more than he is home. We have three kids and I just feel so alone. I don’t really know how to explain it. When I tell him that I’m lonely, he says that I have the kids. I guess he doesn’t get where I’m coming from. Do any of you mom’s have a partner that’s gone a lot for work? If so, how do you cope with it?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I cope with my husband working away from home? - Mamas Uncut
My husband‘s active duty Army. You just have to stay busy. We go to the park, we go walk around Walmart sometimes🤣, we make play dates etc. Also went in the school craft area at Walmart and bought everything. So we do school type learning and painting. Got a mini pool and water table so we sit outside and play. Lunch dates
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Can your partner take my partner with him 
… please .
I think you’re yearning for affection from him. Maybe try telling him again but saying that you really miss him and need his love when he gets home . It may work. Could just jump on him and hug till you can’t breath he’ll have no choice lol.
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Can you not live where he is working?
You need to make mom friends and set up play dates, coffee dates, etc
My husband was a driller on the rigs for years. Home 10 days and away for 20 days. I understand where you are coming from. We did MANY FaceTime chats and I took up a hobby to help. That feeling never fully goes away no matter how long it has been but I just kept myself busy
Mine was gone for 28-35 days a month and back for 14days minus 2 days of travel each time so really 12 days. It was extremely hard, lonely and depressing. But I kept telling myself it’s not forever and go through it. 
My husband used to. We talked often as we could. I stayed busy to keep my mind occupied. I also planned visits to see each other. Pack up the kiddos and go visit once in a while.
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My husband is a truck driver and is only home on the weekends. We are on the phone with each other most of the day. There are times we are just on the phone, no talking, just silence. But I know he is there. We both wear ear pieces.
Try to stay busy. Make friends and plan activities. Stay busy. Have movie dates w the kids. If family is near by lean on them too. My husband is a driver so I get it. It’s hard, but I’m sure he misses you too. Try to join a book club or something just for u at times as well.
It’s a hard life, sometimes you don’t know what your trading off until it’s to late. When I was married I let go of all expectations that he would spend quality time with me. It was easier then to be disappointed all the time. That worked for a little while.
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Military spouse as well! Hubby spends more time in the missile fields or in a whole ‘nother state training than he does at home!
Sometimes it rough, especially when the kids aren’t giving me a break.
I lean heavily on my community! I walk the dog and speak with my neighbors. I volunteer for the concession stand at soccer. I drag my kiddos to the local community garden and chit chat with the old folks while pulling weeds.
Staying busy is key, but can be exhausting as well. 
I feel you about the “You have the kids”! Yeah we have the kids, but maybe I don’t wanna talk about cocomelon and princesses all damn day! 
You definitely have to find some adult conversation to keep yourself from going insane.
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I would try to keep busy. Take the kids to the park. Have movie matinees at home with popcorn and pop. Have the kids’ friends bring over their favorite movies and make an afternoon of it. Play board games with the kids. They’ll balk at first if they’re into video games, but they’ll probably learn to like it. Card games too. With three kids, depending on their ages, you probably have the makings of a euchre game. Or Spades or Hearts. I was alone with my kids a lot. My ex preferred to be anywhere but home. We had special TV shows for special nights. On Fridays, it was super special. We watched Dukes of Hazzard and I saved every week and got McDonald’s food for us. Or if I was especially broke, I’d fix a huge bowl of popcorn, ice down some pop, and we’d pile down on blankets in front of the TV for Dukes of Hazzard every Friday night. We had fun. We listened to music. I let the kids do my hair. I looked pretty strange, but I didn’t care. We had a good time. We invented stuff to do.
I have done this with my husband for years. I would just say this. You are lonely…he’s probably lonely too…missing special events with family and kids…not having you there. I would recommend trying different ways to connect. It’s so easy for either side to forget what the other might be going through because you are basically living separate lives. Suggest different ideas like FaceTime dates…hot selfie contest between the two of you…do something unexpected to get his attention. It is so difficult. Try to keep your conversations upbeat and discuss the more serious issues when you’re together.
Imagine how he feels being away from home. I work way more hours in my career and he feels lonely at times but we feel it being away from home while your at home. Be supportive and stay communicating. Just as much as you need supportive we need supportive being away from home. Lots of love and encouragement sent to both of you. Life is hard but knowing you have support on both ends is the best. Be a Team.
Yes mines a waterman and gone for days at a time in the summer when the kids are out of school. I can’t even call him when he’s at sea, I get very lonely. I try to get a friend to visit or at least have fun with the kids. You get used to it, we’ve been together almost 12 years. When I first met him he was gone a full 7 days, now its 3 or 4 at the most, you just have to make the best of it.
My husband worked far from home but he called us everyday around supper time
Keep in mind before feeling irritated at his response to him saying you have the kids, that could be his way of saying he too is lonely, but at least you have the kids with you daily. When we are caught up in our feelings sometimes we forget to listen to the other person, even if they don’t verbalize it the same way.
I think there is a lot of great advice given in the comments.
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I do! I struggle really bad with it. This morning is a pretty bad morning with it all 
He works long hours so sometimes he doesn’t call much and I hate that! I get really lonely, too. With kids we aren’t “alone”…but we are in the sense of having adult interaction and our person to lean on. If you would like to inbox me and chat feel free too! We could probably relate on a lot of levels.
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My husband works on the road and you also have to look at it from his point of view you may be lonely, but think about how he is lonely as well. He is having to be away from you and the kids. We talk every day no matter what, and when he comes back home we don’t make plans to do anything, like right now I only get two nights and one day with him so I am cherishing every second that I have until he’s gone for two more weeks.
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Dogs i got 5 and my hubbys only home 3 days a week!
My husband wrks alot but not out of town
He wrks around the house a lot to so we hardly have anytime together my youngest is 29 and disabled he lives with us
But I try to get mine to take a break on weekends and go places it wrks sometimes or we help him outside . As a family .
Do you have any talents, like crafting? Any girlfriends/sisters to spend time with crafting/cooking/wine time/or just hanging out
I never had this but I’m thinking if this is what he was doing before you got married it should had been mentioned then . . Maybe your should idk find a pt job . Or do more things with children to keep your mind occupied… Remember he doing it for the family. Just greet him like you really miss him and give him comfort when he gets back. He may feel the same as you but feel it’s the only way he can take care of his family and his family is comfortable and not needing for anything. …
He trying don’t discourage him especially if this is what he do
Mines been deployed since October. 
Honestly the absolute best thing you can do, is find something to keep yourself busy. It helps a little. I even went back to school. Weirdly enough it’s made time go a little faster when I’m focused on my every day stuff.
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My dad was a trucker only home 2 days a week. Treasured the time we had with him. He was lonely too.
You’re feeling like a single mom and lacking adult companionship. Kids aren’t the same as adults. You need peers and your own life. You likely never envisioned marriage as seldom seeing your partner.
Tell him how you want your marriage and family life to look. Paint a picture. Maybe this will help him understand.
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My husband drives truck is usually only home Saturday and sundays
My daughter went through this when her husband worked for the railroad. He was home Friday night and left Sunday morning. It was terrible for her and the two babies. He finally quit and got a job where he’s home more. She lived with my husband and I when he traveled because we could help with the two kids under 2. She worked as well so she needed the support. They have since bought a house, sadly for papa and me. It’s not a easy way to survive with children. There are many jobs out there hiring now. It’s hard to change careers, but you can’t get back family time and memories
I feel this. My husband usually wasn’t gone overnight but he worked long days… he was usually gone before the kids & I were up & coming home after we were asleep. He rarely made the kids sporting events or anything of that sort. Thankfully we have since changed jobs… he may have to be out of town but when he is I at least will have a heads up & can plan for it. I dealt with his old job for 12 years so I completely feel this. It caused issues with him not being home & me carrying the load of everything… yard, house, kids, appointments etc. Changing careers is a hard thing to do but sometimes it’s necessary!
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You feel like a single mom. You do the majority of everything, if not everything. It is exhausting and lonely. Tell him how you want your life together to look.
My husband was over the road for the past seven years. I really didn’t “cope” with it. You can fill every second of the day with activity but still have this feeling. We have four children who play multiple sports each, I was working, and in school, I have tons of friends and spent ample time with them; I was still down most days because I was lonely and missed him. It got to a point I just could not do it anymore. Maybe I’m just codependent on him, I don’t know, but having him home everyday has been the best thing ever. He came off the road about 8 months ago and we have never been happier. I still do everything I did before, (with a lot of help from him) but now I do it with a little more pep in my step knowing he will be home sometime in the afternoon.
Honestly, if you husband doesn’t see how you feel now, he will never understand. Thankfully, my husband is just as codependent with me. He wanted to be home too.
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My husband don’t work out of town. But he works 6 days a week from early in the morning to late at night. We only get dinner time together as a family and then no long after that is shower and bed for him. There’s days where I feel so lonely. I know where you are coming from. But, finding you something you love doing helps out Alot. I write my husband little letters every morning and put in his lunch box. The days that he is home make sure to write him some put each day on it that you want him to read, that’s if he has the time to read them. And when he is home they to have him understand y’all two just need time for you two.
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I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 22274 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://jobsgalexy465.netlify.app/
If getting a different job is not a option for him , try to do stuff for yourself, you can go back to college and study something ( in case you want to ) you can find a job , in case you do not have any , you can do voluntary work, or go to the gym , have little dates with a friend , the important thing is to keep your self busy and around people , it’s not the same as be with your husband but will you to be around people that are not just your kids , do stuff for yourself and plan cool stuff to do with he is home , you can spend a day doing something with the kids all together like taking them to a beach , a park , a movie night , picnic etc . And do something just the two of you
Sometimes quality means more than quantity
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Yes girl my husband works out of town a lot too and is gone for weeks sometimes, it’s hard especially when they don’t understand how lonely it can be. I would suggest finding a hobby go make some friends keep busy and find something you enjoy!
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I was going to say what Angel Marie Lopez just said! I have a husband that works offshore… I found it helps so much to go do stuff, I play bingo , and pokeno… met new friends this way
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The community in which my husband works puts all us spouses in the same boat. When our husbands leave for 6 months to a year; we get together with each other once a week. We have a table for our husbands that we cover with white butcher paper and a photo of them and let our kids draw them pictures and messages, etc. The kids make friends and we vent our frustrations, our tears, we are like a whole other little family and we lean on each other. If another mom in our group is feeling extra down, one of us will step up, take her kids while another takes her for coffee, lets her take a shower in peace, etc. My best bit of advice is just to beef up your friend circle and enjoy the time you have with your kids and friends, instead of reflecting on your husband being away and then when he’s home just make sure you make the time you guys spend together, quality time. You got this.
Join a church - make friends though contacts with children’s mothers - all in the same boat.
My husband sometimes has to go out of town for work during the week. & it does suck and I miss him but I know he’s doing it for our family. I just always try to spend time with him while he’s gone and make sure he has time to relax & enjoy himself while he’s home. Hang in there girl. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be gone either.
My husband was a OTR trucker for 2yrs. It was hard, but we did what we had to do. He is local now so home every night 
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My husband works out of town 4 days a week. We have 3 kids under 5. It is tough, I feel for you. The best thing for me has been to use the time he is gone to focus on myself. I don’t just hang around waiting until he’s back most the week. Try to find hobbies you enjoy, make sure to take care of your body and mind, take time for yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat him by taking as good of care of yourself as you do him. It also helps immensely to find a few really good friends if you can.
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Same boat! My man works a travel crew and he is out of state every time. He’s gone for ten days then home for 4 days. It’s hard for me but it is also so hard for him to leave me and our two kids. Watching him being so broken when he leaves hurts. But when we are together it is the best 4 days!