You can stop your plans with your kids. Make plans and if she doesn’t want y’all to have him that’s on her. Don’t let her ruin your kids fun.
If the state you are in has parenting time guidelines look at them and it will show you what holidays each of them have. Is there any kind of court order or agreement between parents about that stuff?
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Make ya own plans don’t wait 4 her if she plays games just tell her go through court get contact days nyts then she can’t play ya
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Just stop making plans around her plans…make you own plans if hes available hes available because eventually it becomes unfair to the other kids
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Just make your plans and don’t wait and be sure your guy backs you~
Talk to your bf about it have him handle her
Girl get yourself a better man! Because if he had any respect at all for you, he would handle this/her & set his foot down & set up a schedule through the court system. And he certainly wouldn’t let another woman disrespect you & your child if he cares for you at all. Get out of that relationship! Don’t get serious about another one until there’s no doubt the man has the utmost respect for you, your child & wants the same things as you in a relationship.
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I’m really surprised by all the people telling her to run. I have 4 stepdaughters and They’re my heart 
. My advice is let the mother know in advance what your plans are. Yes it’s an extra step you have to take, but you knew that getting into a relationship with some who has a child. Make sure you show her by your actions that you would do just as much for your stepchild as your doing for your own. I have planned and replanned birthday party’s to make sure all kids were included. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Maybe I’m missing something but, ummm he’s your boyfriend not your husband. That is his and the ex child. You at best are the babysitter. You can’t plan or expect anything that involves their child. What you should do is just stay out of their issues and live your life stress free.
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Court might be a good option. But based on where you live no matter how great your husband is a father he won’t get very much time, happened to us. Courts tend to pick mom over dad because their old school and don’t understand some/many dads are great dads and some/many moms are poor moms.
Truthfully it’s always going to be like that, even after court, if it gets better it won’t be by much.
It’s something many step-moms have had to asses whether it’s worth it and then just learn to live with it
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Okay. Why are you dealing with her? Your boyfriend should be. If this impossible than he needs a mediator and or lawyer. A set schedule needs to be set up for pick up drop offs dates, holidays etc. The way you are doing now is obviously not working. Compromises have to be made if you and he want this to work.
You deal with it if you care about the man., We did it with out Granddaughter all of her life. Her dad got her when her Mom decided it was time. Holidays it was always that way and we as Grandparents were last on the list. Just deal with it. Fortunately for us, we have never not been close to her Mom so we had her a lot, took her on vacations, etc. If the child is important to you, just be the bigger person and do your best with the time you have the child. Don’t show any resentment towards his Mom when you have him because he will feel it and explain to your kids it is how it has to be.It is worth it.
He should work on setting up set plan for holidays and birthdays, rotating for each year. Include pick up and drop off times. It’s his job to do this not yours. As for the birthday issue celebrate and make your plans and follow thru- maybe if his son misses out he might decide to do something but if not don’t worry about it.
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The children come first in this scenario. The adults have to make the best of the situation. You know going in how it will be, you have to decide if it’s worth it for you, and your children to take it to the next level.
Don’t ever put your baby’s birthday plans on hold waiting, his dad can get him and bring him and you celebrate your daughters day when you want. Do they have a custody agreement through the court? If not getting one is going to be the best thing because she can’t tell you you have to wait on her then. She should thank you for taking care of her child but she sounds like a bitter baby mama so she never will. Your man also needs to put his foot down and make her realize its not always what she wants… You have to decide what you are willing to put up with.
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- What’s their custody arrangements? If he doesn’t have a problem with it, then you can decide to stay or go. Just know if you marry him this is how it’ll be
- There’s no need for you to have a relationship with her.
- He’s your boyfriend so it’s easy to walk away. Maybe fine a guy with no kids, or has full custody
Listen, you knew he had a baby mama before you got together. These things are always challenging. The question you have to ask yourself is, is he such a golden boyfriend that you’re willing to put up with this for the long run or is it a deal breaker? Because honey when and if you decide to marry this man, if you think she’s bad now, just wait. If I were you I would cut my losses because you know what? You don’t have ANY right, and I’m sorry you don’t like this, but you have 0 right over her child and how long she takes or when and if she’s going to let the boy come over. She’s his mom and he’s his dad. You are absolutely out of authority in regards that. A judge will tell you the same thing too. I know, because I went through it. You know what you have to do. You just are scared to do it. You have to respect that. She’s not going to care what YOU have planned or your boyfriend has planned. People have to start realizing the difference between the relationships involved. This goes wayyy deeper than “she’s always late and making excuses”. Well, you know, you’re just his girl. She doesn’t owe you anything. Grow up
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Well I’d say of course she’s doing this on purpose to destroy your relationship. As a woman, she knows what you’re thinking already…she wants you and your boyfriend to get into a fight about this so you guys break up. Trust me that’s her plan and intent. It’s not about any of the kids. It’s about control and ruining your relationship, and she’s using her child to do it.
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Sorry for this comment. She’s rude and disrespectful? Ignore her like she doesn’t exist. I, me, will put the responsibility on my bf to deal with her. I won’t have anything to do with her but I’ll treat the kid right and good. Your bf needs to tell her off. And if he don’t have the balls to do that - weak. Don’t go down to her level but never allow her to push you around. Stand strong and firm against her. Good luck.
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His child will ALWAYS be his priority over you and/or your child. If you can live with that, stick around for the crap you will have to deal with. On the other hand, if you want more, then you best break it off now and find yourself another man without a child, because you will be stepping right back into the same situation you are trying to get out of.
To be honest, I am in the Same situation, you sound a bit selfish and controlling… my now husband’s youngest mother is like this. She decides when and how long we get their daughter, unless she wants to bring out the court agreement. We tell her in advance when my kids bday parties are so we can both plan accordingly. Being civil and mutual is kind of part of co parenting. As the girlfriend its really non of your say and even as a wife its non of my say. If the mom says no on our plans … we carry on with out her.
If he doesn’t have a custody order they need to get one. It will prevent her from doing whatever she wants and you wont have to put your plans on hold. It will save alot of headaches
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People should have respect for you, your time, your child, etc… If they don’t, it’s a clear indication of disrespect. Don’t stay where disrespect is being served. You deserve what you want and need. 
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Keep your plans and let him deal with his ex. He needs to be doing this and if he has done paternity he needs court ordered visitation. If she doesn’t obey the rules then he can deal with that.
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Have your boyfriend Get a court order custody agreement that has drop off/pick times in place with you listed as an approved person to pick up/ drop off and she has to comply or be charged with violating a court order. Otherwise y’all need to sit down like adults and figure it out with communication.
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Heres what you do…Tell your boyfriend to man up to her and if he doesnt, dont change your plan regarding her…Once she sees he is serious, she will get her act together. WHY are you doing all the planning with this ex???
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As long as it’s you vs. her, her plans will always trump yours. It’s not your child, it’s hers, so you do it her way or not at all. Period. The way you’re talking here I’m sure you’re plenty rude and disrespectful to her, so check yourself first. If your boyfriend wanted his son he would deal with mom, he would care for him, and he would be aranging the schedule. If it was dad vs. mom they would have equal claim. You do not have equal claim. Your son’s birthday doesn’t matter, you’re the latest girlfriend not her son’s family. If dad’s not going to do it, leave it. This isn’t your place to be haggling over her child with her.
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Than instead of “complaining” take it to court get a court order. That way she has no control besides what the judge says. Contact only by email regarding the child.
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I can tell you it doesn’t get any easier not to say you don’t care about the kids I am sure you do …but I can tell you from experience when push comes to shove your husband has to make a decision …if I were you and I had plans with my child I wouldn’t put it off because of her plans… Do what you can for the children when they’re with you and when they’re not don’t worry about
It’s your boyfriend’s place to intervene!
If he doesn’t already there’s an issue.
Explain to him nicely and if he doesn’t, walk away. You’re putting his ex and their child before your own .
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Stuff happens with partners with kids and exes.One day the child will be grown and the issues you face now will be gone.Are you willing to deal with this till that time?
Go to court and set up a schedule. Talk though texts so you have records of everything.
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Your boyfriend needs to put her in her place…
Just get sole custody
She does not know how to let go…
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I say run It doesn’t get any better right now your free babysitting He shows you no respect
and this boys and girls is why you dont have baby mamas you have wives and you bchoose wisely who you get involved with…ultimately the child suffers…baby mama is using that child to control your relationship…Better get used to it…It wont change…
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Never put your kid on hold for some ones else and if he don’t back you get rid of him to
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Go do what you need to do with her son and have fun if the boyfriend don’t like it well then move on Don’t waite on her.she is doing it to make you mad put your plans off
He should set his foot down with her she is running show and if you don’t go along she probably threatens to not let you see kid
A schedule needs to be made and kept to.
If that doesn’t work go to court.
If he can’t put his foot down. You gotta go. You’re not his wife so stop doing wifely duties. You have somewhere to be, go. He hopefully will get tired of being left out and stand his ground
This is something your boyfriend should deal with, not you. It’s his ex, his kid, his responsibility.
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Yes lovie take away her power over you legally n take your power back for your life she’s a bully don’t play her games
Just saying better find another man or learn to deal with it. Babymamas that are jealous and controlling like that are hard to work with
Ex should go to court and ask for visitation.
Get a Lawyer and set up regular visits both parties abide by them or get out of the situation.
Get out of this sick relationship and look for a better boyfriend, or better yet, pray to God to bring the man He has in His Mind for you. Then , don’t look for a man. He’ll find you. Then go to church, or watch one online at this point, and pray for God’s blessings. Read a Bible and continue to pray.
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Don’t date a man with kids under 18 and a revengeful ex
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Run don’t walk, sounds like she is still running the show!
Let him deal with it, he is your boyfriend not your husband.
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Uh get a parenting plan? Why is she dictating time ect?
It isn’t yours to do anything with. It is your boyfriends!! As far as your kids birthday being her dads birthday. That’s his grandfather!! Oh pleeze
He needs to deal with her and not put you in the middle.
I would re-evaluate your relationship. I dated someone who’s baby mama was like that. When there is jealousy and control like that between her and him, it’s typically because there are either unresolved issues or feelings between the two of them. Mine eventually cheated on me with her (I was told by many not to let it bother me or say anything to him about it because it was between her and him, so I didn’t and stayed polite and nice and respectful to her and eventually he cheated on me with her)
Me personally (and easier said than done) would leave him and I would explain to him that there clearly are some unresolved issues or feelings between his ex and him and they really need to figure that out before investing in outside relationships and hurting other people by not being able to figure out what they are doing. Wish him the best and move on with your life.
Yes his Child should always come first but his baby mama as no right to treat you rudely or with disrespect and has absolutely no reason to unless there is something unresolved between their relationship. Seems like her and him both need to grow up.
I feel for u. No decision that anyone says is the right decision other than your own. Best of luck!
P.s. ignore the low life’s that say u have no say cause ur just the girlfriend. Just the girlfriend is usually there to hopefully become family and step mom, so yes you do have a say if u want to be apart of his family and them yours. It’s a two way street.
Be single and raise your kids.
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Say good bye. It usually gets worse when you get married.
If you love him wait till the kids are 18
Get used to …it she’s yours as long as you are with him
I agree…find a different guy.
Have your boyfriend get a custody order. That’s rly the only way.
That relationship is not gonna last. Run now.
The 3 of you needs to have a meeting
Let the daddy fix it. If he sides with her leave him
BF needs to step up.
Drop him like a bad habit
Get a new boyfriend!
You’re some kind of stupid aren’t you?
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What kind of idiot are you. Get out!!!
I’d leave f that bs but that’s just me
Get rid of the boyfriend
Do you let him deal with her
I would just have your kids party on a day you have all the children. Get a visitation schedule
Honestly I feel that plans for their child should be made by them. 
sorry not sorry. If he has something to bring to the table scheduling wise then he needs to bring that up with her. Also depends on how long you two have been together, has your family been around long enough to be like family to him? If not their birthdays and other celebrations shouldn’t matter. I’m all for Co parenting once trust and relationships have been established but you can’t just jump in and expect to have a major say in what they do with their child.
Well, sorry to say , you are being used big time. Bf should be dealing with ex, not you. You don’t need the drama. Make your plans for you and your family and stick to it. YOU are allowing her to run your life. Have him tell her how it is and stick by it. She can’t play the game, that she won’t allow him to see the baby card, he has rights also as dad. If he won’t back you up, then I suggest you move on. You have only one life to live, live it y our way.
I agree get out now, and get you cryin done. Maybe no more men till your child is 18. Your child should be first and foremost in your life not a man.
I wouldn’t even tell her your plans every weekend. Just do it she will make up excuses and ruin your plans
It is her kid to but he needs to put his foot down
Let him and his be available for her you and yours do what you gone do
Pray about it n follow your lovie
Tell your husband your done being her bitch. Don’t let them use you or take advantage. If you do it for her child because you love him that’s great but you have to draw a line and stick to it.
Pull out court papers I’m sure he has it and if he doesn’t you can go to court house and request a copy when you get them follow it to the t and if she violates it just call the cops and they will go there and get the child and if in papers it doesn’t say what time he gets the child have him get it modified then she can not rule you and your family remember he is stuck in the middle his ex has something he wants (his child) and he loves you but unfortunately she’s being a bitch so now it’s your turn to play hard ball