Just be there for him think about what you would want if you were in his shoes and just be supportive everyone goes thru something at some point but just be there and don’t give up on him it could make his depression worse.
Going through this currently with my daughter and sons father he’s coming around now. Give him time, I don’t recommend 100% space because in my experience he’ll think you gave up and don’t care anymore about him.
So sad seeing some say leave him etc.
Depression is hard, remember that he’s not shutting you out intentionally, if anything shutting everyone out is harder on them because they already feel like shit.
Reassure him that you are there for him and he’s not alone and is loved no matter what.
suggest counseling, give him the space he ask for, he will reach out when he needs to talk, I deal with depression and I’ve done the same with my husband, his reassurance is also a big help. Everyone deals with it differently just gotta find what works for him!
Someone I know, their husband committed suicide out of the blue, who was going through similar during covid. Someone who was physically active, motivated, and supportive previously. Then all of a sudden it happened. They were previously fine and happy. Pay attention to the signs if they are present, and get him help.
If it doesn’t seem like depression, but just not happy together with you. (I.e. happy doing other things away from you) could be a red flag. It could be either/or.
In case it truly is depression, DO NOT leave him. It could end up with a lifelong regret.
Maybe find activities to do together like a nice long walk, a picnic in the park and let him know you are on his side. Depressed people will think and feel no one loves or cares for them. Maybe make him his favorite meal or drink and enjoy the evening outdoors
Sit down and really talk to him. You cant force someone to stay with you just cause you still love them. I know it sucks and hurts but he is allowed to be his own person and time changes ppl maybe he is depressed cause he loves you but isnt happy. Let him go, you dont have to wait for him and you dont want to waste a moment of your youth, it goes by to fast
Buckle up butter cup. Loving someone with mental illness is HARD!
You have to make the decision. Do you stay and support him, love him unconditionally and help him through? Or do you say bye I can’t deal?
Only you know this answer. You married him for a reason. Depression is ugly. ISOLATION is a symptom—he is pushing away because he doesn’t want to hurt you anymore than he has. You can’t make him do anything. Space is fine; but both y’all stay in the home. Leaving does nothing except makes it harder on both of you.
EDUCATE yourself on Depression. Find yourself a counselor. Make his favorite meals. Encourage him to do things. Encourage counseling and meds. Walks in the evening. Doing activities y’all used to do together. Leave him little notes on the bathroom mirror. Buy him his favorite candy.
But remember—don’t loose yourself in trying to save him
maybe hes depressed bc hes not happy with you anymore…
Give him space… When he does get better he will appreciate you more for supporting him at his lowest…
Let him do what he needs to do. I’d personally write him a letter. Telling him why you fell in love with him, what makes him special and unique etc. Then at the end tell him that you’re here for him when he is ready. Maybe you could find a nice kinda secluded cabin on a lake and rent it out for a weekend just for him. Give him Time away and in nature. When I get really depressed, I have a friend watch my children overnight and I head out in the woods. I bring only what I can carry. Small tent, sleeping bag, water and food, garbage bags. Then once I find a place, I set up. Then I just sit still for as long as I can. It’s absolutely a beautiful experience. Just you and nature.
I really hope he finds himself out of the depression.
Hopefully he has seen a dr and possibly getting meds for his depression and or therapy. That said, depressed people often find comfort in being exposed to nature. If you have a beach or lake near you or even just spending time outside under a shade tree or walking at a park, may help. Stay positive and most of all remember to take care of yourself
Give him his space. Depression is a horrible thing to go through. Do you know what caused the Depression? Have you tried helping him with the initial cause? Many factors go into this.
You need to keep living ur daily life and do,the usual things u do and maybe more. U are not his momma. If he doesnt want talk leave him be and just let him know u are here of he ever wants to talk. Besides that dont put ur life on hold and get down in the dumps with him. Continue doing you and if it persist and nothing changes then you need to consider ur,mental health and also if u have child you need to,think about them. Love u girl:heart:wishing you the best:heart:
First off there is no
" perfect " marriage or relationship. Show me one couple that dont argue , I will show you one in denial. Second sounds like he is looking to ends this with you by shutting you down and out in Hope’s you will pack your stuff and leave or he will.
Space along with not wanting to be with you usually equals infidelity not depression.
He. May be. Having. A. Affair
I will be praying for you and your husband.
That’s sad.Counseling for both of you.
Did something happen to cause this disruption?
Therapy. You cannot control his choices only your own.
Sounds like another women to me.
There is no perfect marriage. Thinking you have the perfect marriage is always your biggest downfall.
Take him to get help
You have to give it 2 god
If he’s saying he don’t want to be together then he’s speaking truth. Just leave. Why let him say that to you and get you down also. Theirs prolly more of a reason behind it
Give him his space. Pray. Still do some small things that show him you still love him.
If he is stressing he is wasting magnesium and there is a definitive link between magnesium deficiency and suicide so make sure he supplements if not contraindicated for him.
I have been with my husband who has BPD for 23 years and he has never said anything like that to me ever. If he doesn’t want to be with you anymore there is nothing you can do. I can’t assume that depression alone would make him want to end the relationship.
It’s okay to be depressed and feel down. This world will do that on occasion. What’s not okay is using that as a crux to not communicate or face down other issues. No relationship is perfect…forever. They take work, dedication, compassion and sacrifice. From both partners.
If he is suffering from depression the worst thing we can do is go into “I am gonna fix this” mode. We really only need to hold space for those feelings - allow them to flow and process. We can show compassion and empathy…truly care for someone but it’s not our place to “fix” them. If your husband wants help - he will need to take responsibility for his own mental health and start taking the steps towards healthier days.
If he completely avoids healing and is just done…won’t communicate…won’t take steps that are visible to your relationship…let him go.
I got my husband to speak to a therapist…took a little coaxing…but its helping him.
Sounds like my ex husband, right before I caught him cheating with his co worker. not saying your man is cheating. Just stating my experiance.
My boyfriend has depression and I deal with the same thing sometimes. All you can do is give all your support and love and show him that you still care and love about him and that nothing will change even if he goes through these stages. He needs to know that he is still loved.
My husband has it too. It’s really hard, not going to lie. It’s still pretty harsh to take it out on you or your relationship though. Sounds like therapy may be good and meds. I never understood why people are so against meds but they work wonders and could save a person literally, and your relationship. I think that’s totally worth it!
I was on them for a year and weaned off in December and I’ve been great ever since
If he has stated he doesn’t want to be together anymore and he needs time and space, it may be time to separate. People sometimes stay together for security and a feeling of fear of the there after. Don’t get caught up it that. Life is to short.
Has he ever been to a doctor to discuss meds for depression? I hate to jump to meds. But I’ve seen people benefit . Also the gym, church, Etc
Give him what he wants, move on u deserve better and if he regrets it later that’s his problem
Do you attend a church? If so see if he will go to a counseling session with the pastor. My husband and I went through the loss of our daughter, his alcoholism (that nearly killed him), and some other things that would have broken up most couples. You both need individual and couple’s counseling if you want to try to save your marriage
Insist he see his primary care doctor.
Sounds like he’s got a girlfriend on the side.
As hard as it is just give him some space if you want to try to save your marriage. We go through this once or twice a year. I pretty much just let him hole himself up in our room and sleep. I keep his clothes clean, make sure there’s a plate ready for him at meal times or have his easy access foods in the freezer and let him know I’m there for him if he needs me. Sometimes life is just plain hard and not what we think it’s supposed to be, the times he goes through that is not the time for me to nit pick. I know when he’s his normal self he’ll help me through any feelings I’m having myself. Be your partners rock and safe place, try to take his hurtful thoughts with a grain of salt. I know it’s hard. You can weather this storm.
Sending good vibes your way. Depression is a tough disease to deal with, for you and for him. I would suggest for you to get therapy and be supportive of him, it’s a battle.
He needs a checkup. Could be something internally.
Could be he’s got a lot on his plate and has had enough. He may not know how to help himself. So he lashes out.
Could be having an affair.
Could be midlife crisis. Men get them too.