How do you deal with your husband, who is depressed? He has shut me out completely. He says he needs time and space. He also said he doesn’t want to be together anymore. Our relationship was “perfect” prior to this.
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My child’s father recently became ‘depressed’ and acted this same way. He was cheating on me with a coworker and has left me for her 
its not always what they say. If he is just depressed all you can do is try to talk 
Good luck love.
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Jus talk to him, make sure to tell him he isn’t alone…and he might need help for his depression
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That’s not depression. Get a lawyer, go to therapy yourself.
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Is he on any medications?
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Not trying to put anything in your mind but it sounds like maybe he’s trying to find a reason to breakup because there’s something else going on. Easiest way is to blame you, or anything else. I’ve personally been through this before. But maybe he’s just depressed. 
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If he is depressed, it may be that in his mind, he doesn’t want to be a burden and feels you are better of without him. Don’t listen to these ladies saying it’s cheating. Depression in men is real. He needs you right now
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Before I even seen previous comments my first thought was infidelity. If he wasn’t depressed before, or has a reason that caused it, he’s acting in a way to pull away “without hurting you” Men’s logic. 
I’m sorry you’re having issues momma, but I’d take him at his word. If he says he’s done, be done. Focus on your and your babes.
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Sounds like bipolar depression.
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Or maybe it was “perfect” for you but not for him. Depression is very real and it also effects people differently. I hope you both get the help you need.
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Maybe he does need space? He just might be depressed, give him some space and offer him family Theropy while he’s getting his space… not everyone cheats just because they think they don’t want to be with their spouse so please unless you have proof don’t listen to “he’s cheating”! This might just be a cry for help and he might not know how to handle it… maybe something has triggered his memory from the past… let him know you’re there for him though but give him some space…
How to create heaven on earth by dr bruce Lipton on youtube
but men don’t assume women cheat when they get depressed and push away. I have had many episodes where I told my husband I didn’t want to be with anymore, did I mean it, clearly no. Didn’t mean I was cheating, I was mentally going through a lot. Check out the suicide rate for men ladies.
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There’s someone else, or you’re what’s depressing him, been thru the same thing, I was depressing him, give him what he wants, and you’ll find out the truth
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These comments absolutely piss me off. So just because he’s a MAN and has DEPRESSION automatically mean he’s cheating? Nah. Men can have serious depression too. Men can have mood swings and ups and downs. Men are not just cheating, emotionless pigs. So to automatically assume he is cheating on her, it’s bullshit.
If he is cheating on her, then shame on him for using depression as an escape goat. My ex-husband did the same but that doesn’t mean all men do it.
You’re best bet is to give him the space he asked for but still try to be there for him. Maybe occasionally check in on him. Have short conversations, so he knows you’re there but still respecting his wishes.
I have depression so I understand how awful it can feel to suddenly not want your current life and feel the need to get out. Usually it passes after (what I call) the “episode” is done. But I know how damaging it can be for the other person too.
My heart goes out to you hun.
Honestly, listen to him if he is willing to talk. Show him you support him, remain loving and seek out local resources for him. Maybe find a counselor for both of you. He could be cheating, he could really have mental issues that need to be addressed. It’s hard to say because we’re not in his shoes or sharing a home with him. Men don’t like to open up about their mental health because they feel like people will assume things and make fun of them. And honestly many times that’s what happens. Best of luck to you both!
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Coming from a person who has depression, I’m not sure how men go about theirs but I do know that I like to be left alone aswell. We act like we don’t need anyone and want to be alone but we really don’t. It’s a very hard thing for us to grasp, let alone on our own in our own heads. I would try to give him space but to also let him know, “ Hey I love you and I just want you to know I’ll be here for you when you’re ready.” The one thing you don’t want to do is push them away or get angry with them because having depression is terrible and draining. We just want someone to understand us and not leave. Never give up on him❤️ I tried medication but it doesn’t work just makes it worse.
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You need to be calling and making him appointments with his doctor and/or a therapist. And help him keep those appointments. He doesn’t have the energy or motivation to do it himself, he needs you in his corner now more than ever. Do everything in your power to get him the help he needs with as little effort from his as possible. I know that sounds weird, but trust me.
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Encourage him to seek therapy and eventually get into marriage counseling.
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Is he on meds? I wld seek medical help so he has tablets and therapy. Cbt is really good at helping.
Try and support him, depression is not easy its not something that they get over magically.
Be supportive and find out why and what wld help and go with it.
Do seek medical and professional help. Ppl can advise u here but honestly with depression noone knows how it truly is affecting him.
You can’t help him unless he wants it. Maybe it wasn’t perfect he just thought it was him and got to a breaking point within himself. I’m not pretending to know y’all I’m just trying to give different ideas. Mushrooms help for natural remedies or unfortunately antidepressants also help but I think for me depression is a symptom of how my soul feels. There were probably things he said that he needed that will resonate. It’s hard when we don’t feel like other people so maybe pairing him up wt a friend that can understand him and help him work it out
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For those saying this isn’t depression. It is. I see it every day . Doesn’t mean he’s cheating. Everyones depression is different. For men it’s really different. They think of themselves as less of a man. When they can’t function they feel they aren’t doing their job as a provider. Hang in there. Give him some time. Don’t treat him any less because of his feelings. Right now he needs understanding as much as it may hurt. Let him know he’s not alone. Also medication asap and therapy.
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Try and try and try! Do not push him away, do not give up on him, sit and listen to whatever he has to say. Men go through depression just as women do but they feel it’s a burden to let it be known
GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH 
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I’m not gonna say another women because I myself have mental illness and question whether I should be in my relationship because I am never happy. It’s not my boyfriend it was here before him and our kids. I will say try therapy together or atleast get yourself a therapist and learn how to talk to someone like that. If he’s cheating it’ll come out eventually. If you really think he is sick, the best option is educating yourself to be a better advocate for him
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I’d encourage some therapy but I’d definitely try to give space and ask if theres anything I can do to help. Maybe encourage him to reach out to friends and family. But therapy would be most important here. Sorry you and your husband are going through this. Depression is very hard for an individual and for those who love the individual.
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I personally fight with depression myself and took myself off the medicines bc they made things so much worse with other side effects. It’s definitely a struggle and he will have his good and bad days. But the important thing is he needs to learn how to cope with it. You can either let depression take u over or u take control. He might need to see a therapist. It’s bad when u know people are saying they love u and they are here for u but In a crowded house you feel so alone. Sometimes it was someone saying hey let’s watch a movie or play a game that kinda made me feel better in that moment. Writing is a huge help to me; it’s my outlet. I can’t just take off for a drive by myself bc I have epilepsy.
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Human Relationships - Conversation With God.
In other words, the first question when you encounter another in any circumstances should always be: What do I want here?
Did you hear that? Your first question, always, must be: What do I want here? - not: What does the other person want here?
That’s the most fascinating insight I have ever received about the way to proceed in human relationships. It also runs against everything I’ve ever been taught.
I know. But the reason your relationships are in such a mess is that you’re always trying to figure out what the other person wants and what other people want - instead of what you truly want. Then you have to decide whether to give it to them. And here is how you decide: You decide by taking a look at what you may want from them. If there’s nothing you think you’ll want from them, your first reason for giving them what they want disappears, and so you very seldom do. If, on the other hand, you see that there is something you want or may want from them, then your self-survival mode kicks in, and you try to give them what they want.
Then you resent it - especially if the other person doesn’t eventually give you what you want.
In this game of I’ll Trade You, you set up a very delicate balance. You meet my needs and I’ll meet yours.
Yet the purpose of all human relationships - relationships between nations as well as relationships between individuals - has nothing to do with any of this.
The purpose of your Holy Relationship with every other person, place, or thing is not to figure out what they want or need, but what you require or desire now in order to grow, in order to be Who you want to Be.
That is why I created Relationship to ther things. If it weren’t for this, you could have continued to live in a vacuum, a void, the Eternal Allness whence you came.
Yet in the Allness you simply are and cannot experience your “awareness” as anything in particular because, in the Allness, there is nothing you are not.
So I devised a way for you to create anew, and Know, Who You Are in your experience. I did this by providing you with:
- Relativity - a system wherein you could exist as a thing in relationship to something else.
- Forgetfulness - a process by which you willingly submit to total amnesia (Your Spiritual Connection to God or the Source of Life), so that you can not know that relativity is merely a trick, and that you are All of it.
- Consciouness - a state of Being in which you grow until you reach full awareness (Spiritual Awakening), then becoming a True and Living God, creating and experiencing your own reality, expanding and exploring that reality, changing and recreating that reality as you stretch your consciouness to new limits - or shall we say, to no limit.
In this paradigm, Conciousness is everything.
Consciousness - that of which you are truly aware - is the basis of all truth and thus of all spirituality.
(When, Mind, Body, and Spirit are One, then God has been made Flesh. 1 Corinthians 15:45 ►
New International Version
So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being"; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.
New Living Translation
The Scriptures tell us, “The first man, Adam, became a living person.” But the last Adam—that is, Christ—is a life-giving Spirit.
English Standard Version
Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
But what is the point of it all? First You make us forget Who We Are, so that we can remember Who We Are?
Not quite. So that you can create Who You Are and Who You Want to Be.
This is the act of God being God. It is Me being Me - through you!
This is the point of life.
Through you, I experience being Who and What I Am.
Without you, I could know it, but not experience it.
Knowing and experiencing are two different things.
I’ll choose experience every time.
Indeed, I do. Through you.
(Have I not said: You are All Gods, children of the Most High?)
I seem to have lost the original question here.
Well, it’s hard to keep God on one subject. I’m kind of expansive.
Let’s see if we can get back.
Oh, yes - what to do about the less fortunate.
First, decide Who and What You Are in Relationship to them.
Second, if you decide you wish to experience yourself as being Succor, as being Help, as being Love and Compassion and Caring, then look to see how you can best be those things.
And notice that your ability to be those things has nothing to do with what others are being or doing.
Sometimes the best way to love someone, and the most help you can give, is to leave them alone or empower them to help themselves.
It is like a feast. Life is a smorgasbord, and you can give them a big helping of themselves.
Remember that the greatest help you can give a person is to wake them up, to remind them of Who They Really Are. There are many ways to do this. Sometimes with a little bit of help; a push, a shove, a nudge…and sometimes with a decision to let them run their course, follow their path, walk their walk, without any interference or intervention from you. (All parents know about this choice and agonized over it daily.)
What you have the opportunity to do for the less fortunate is to re-mind them. That is, cause them to be of a New Mind about themselves.
(There are no victims in the universe, only creators of their own reality.)
And you, too, have to be of a New Mind about them, for if you see them as unfortunate, they will.
Jesus’ great gift was that he saw everyone as who they truly are. He refused to accept appearances; he refused to believe what others believed in themselves. He always had a higher thought, and he always invited others to it.
Yet he also honored where others chose to be. He did not require them to accept his higher idea, merely held it out as in invitation.
He dealt, too, with compassion - and if others chose to see themselves as Beings needing assistance, he did not reject them for their fault assessment, but allowed them to love their Reality - and lovingly assisted them in playing out their choice.
For Jesus knew that for some the fastest path to Who They Are was the path through Who They Are Not.
He did not call this an imperfect path and thus condemn it. Rather he saw this, too, as “perfect” - and thus supported everyone in being just who they wanted to be.
Anyone, therefore, who asked Jesus for help received it.
He denied no one - but was always careful to see that the help he gave supported a person’s full and honest desire.
If others genuinely sought enlightenment, honesty expressing readiness to move to the next level, Jesus gave them the strength, the courage, the wisdom to do so. He held himself out - and rightly so - as an example and encouraged people, if they could do nothing else, to have faith in him. He would not, he said, lead them astray.
Many did put their faith in him - and to this day he helps those who call upon his name. For his soul is committed to waking up those who seek to be fully awake and fully alive in Me.
Yet Christ had mercy on those who did not. He therefore rejected self-righteousness and - as does his Father in heaven - made no judgement, ever.
Jesus’ idea of Perfect Love was to grant all persons exactly the help they requested, after telling them the kind of help they could get.
He never refused to help anyone, and least of all would he do so out of a thought that “you made your bed, now lie in it.”
Jesus knew that if he gave people the help they asked for, rather than merely the help he wanted to give, that he was empowering them at a level at which they were ready to receive empowerment.
This is the way of all great masters. Those who have walked your planet in the past, and those who are walking it now.
Listen this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. If he’s actually depressed only he can make the effort to get help from a counselor or doctor. You can’t make him unless you feel like he’s a harm to himself or others. Not to sound harsh but sounds like he doesn’t want to be together anymore. He’s probably been stewing on this for awhile. Find your strength and start making moves for you and your children. Set a good example of healthy relationships for your kids.
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You honestly just gotta support him. It’s a tough road but keep reassuring him that you are there for him. Give him his space but let him know you are there when he’s ready to talk.
When my husband feels depressed I just listen and try to reassure him that he’s doing well and it’ll pass. Not much you can do. You could suggest therapy but that’s not always easy to bring up.
Obviously you’ve been fooling yourself.
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People sometimes do better with writing. Less interruptions and your point can get across easily for the person having a hard time. My suggestion: buy a normal notebook and start a journal that’s an open conversation between the two of you only. Then when you fill it up put it on a bookshelf for him to go back and reread so that he can see he made it through this episode (or many) depending on the issue, and show him he made it before with you and will do it again.
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He may need to see a therapist. I suffer from severe depression and can’t even keep friends. I’ve never been to therapy but I feel it would help. Trying to find one now actually. Depression is hard. He probably feels worthless and like you are better off without him. I struggle with that everyday, thinking how my kids deserve so much more than me. Try to get him outdoors, sunshine is a powerful medicine for depression. If he loves animals maybe go to a shelter and play with some dogs. Personally that’s what works for me 
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He’s probably cheating lmaooo
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Get him to see a doctor
Support him, it can be hard and daunting but support him. Call therapists see who is qualified for male depression, (we started my husband’s therapy as ‘couples’ therapy to get him to go. He had said he didn’t want to be together anymore ether) after months of therapy, some meds, family and friends support he is doing much much much better!!
Just because he says he doesn’t want to be together doesn’t mean that!! He may feel “less of a man” and trying to make you happy in the way he thinks he can, not be around. It’s an odd way of thinking, but going through what we went through, it common for men with depression.
You sure it’s just depression?
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Marriage counseling and individual therapy need to be sought ASAP.
However, you can’t make someone get help, you but can support them. From close or afar. If he’s unwilling to get help and work on the marriage you have to look out for your best interest.
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Something you probably don’t want to hear he is probably got some one on the side
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I am the husband in this scenario and it’s hard. I’m married to a wonderful man who treats me and our children like gold. But I still have hard days and times I could walk away from it all. Recommend he sees a therapist or a dr. The right medication and healthy communication has made a world of difference. My partner is also super supportive even when I shut him out. He gives me my space but let’s me know he’s always there if I need him. He doesn’t try to “fix” me on his own or expect me to do it myself instead to seek help and do what’s best for my mental health and our family. Best of luck!
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I Pray the Lord to give you guidance on how you can help your husband and your self. I Pray the Lord to remove depression far from him. In The Name of Jesus Christ the Healer of mind body and soul. Amen
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Is he actually depressed or having an affair?
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When I feel depressed its best for my boyfriend (like my husband) to be supportive and helpful. Encourage him to do things that he normally likes to do. Also counseling will help a lot. I’m looking into getting help with my depression as I know it affects my family everyday.
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Just give him that time and try to get him help stick with him until he is better then if he still wants to separate do so
If he’s depressed make a doctor appointment for him to be screened for depression and drive him there to be sure he goes. Then take him to follow ups with a psychiatrist and to the pharmacy for meds. If he says you’re better off without him, worry he’s thinking of suicide. Get any guns out of the house. Guys don’t usually use pills, but keep an eye on any in your house.
Signs of depression are no interest in anything—food, sex, activities, kids, friends. If he just stares at the ceiling, that’s depression. It’s not sadness, it’s feelings of nothingness.
If his words are the only thing that’s changed, however, I’d be suspicious it’s another woman (or man!). I’d do some recon, talk to his friends and co-workers and ask them what’s up. Check his phone, computer, bank & credit card statements for unusual expenses. Also get copies of bank statements (in case he takes out assets to avoid giving you half) if you have joint accounts and look into what you need for a divorce. It’s always good to have this info even if you never need to use it.
I’m sorry. Either result is tough.
Find a new hobby you can share together…
The fact you women jump to cheating and don’t even think about what depression really can do to a person shows how terrible you are. You really should be ashamed of yourselves, really. Anyways, depression is real and it can get really bad to the point you don’t want anyone around, I know that personally as well. The most you can do is tell him you’re there for him and ask him if he would talk to someone about it or maybe you if he won’t go to therapy. But therapy would help him a lot, individual therapy so that he can work on himself. If you want to do couples therapy later then go for it but he needs to put his mental health first. I do hope he gets the help he needs and he lets you in when he’s ready. Just be there for him, that’s what he needs most. You don’t have to crowd him though. Be around but not always on top of him. He gets his space but yet he knows you’re there. Good luck!!
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men are NOT verbal like women r
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Something is going on with him he just Doesn’t want to burden you with it so he is pushing you away you think it’s depression and you would know him best just try and be patient with him resure him that you love him and you that you only want to be him try and get him to open up men are complicated people they tend to bottle their feelings away and won’t talk see if you can get a councillor just keep trying to make suggestions for him to try and sort this mess out for him
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Well it obviously wasn’t perfect if he fell into depression and thinks being without you is what will help. Let him deal with it how he can. All people cope and handle things differently and he isn’t going to go to counseling or anything you recommend unless he wants to.
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Sounds like he found someone else. If so know you deserve better.
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Well see if he wants to try counseling, if not it’s best to let it and him go. Not what you want to hear. Might be best for you both. He needs to want help and get help. If he won’t accept help you cannot force it
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I love how every answer is always having an affair with all these posts…
DEPRESSION IS 100% REAL. It can also cause you not to want to be with someone because you may feel like a burden. Try supporting him, and suggest he see a doctor or give him some time and space.
Just because someone says they need time, ect doesn’t mean they are cheating.
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There’s nothing you can do about his depression he has to realize himself and Man up and ask for help himself or unfortunately nothing is going to change been there b4 not a good place I understand and that’s the only way out
My friend was the same way, when he was deciding to leave his wife or not. He told his wife he was depressed & needed space. He was happy again when he moved in with his then secret girlfriend. He’s all smiles again & girlfriend isn’t a secret anymore. My friends wife said, she thought they had the perfect marriage too!!!
Sadly, no marriage is perfect.
If he wants to save marriage, he would go go to counseling.
He needs to go to therapy. Regardless of the cause, if he is behaving that way therapy can be helpful.
So give him time and space or get him help. People with depression no longer enjoy things they use to.
I’m so sorry. Is he taking medication for depression?
He mite not want to burden you with how he’s feeling.he thinks if he pushes you away you won’t see how he is really feeling.i would make sure he’s not going to do anything.i suffer from depression n I didn’t want to tell people how I really felt as I felt like a burden.if my family really knew how low I had got they would have locked me in their room n not let me out.im currently on medication plus I take multi b vitamin and L thianine its all herbal and helps my anxiety levels.
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Encourage him to seek counseling, try and give him space and time .
But if he isn’t willing to get help/therapy/ medication etc
You really have no option but to move on if he says he doesn’t want to be together. A person gets help when THEY want help.
Perfect according to who u maybe not him
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Depression a silent killer more of men … than women
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99% percent of the answers from women on this page are “Leave him”. So dont expect any real solution.
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Hes fucking someone else.
Respect his boundaries
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Depression makes you feel worthless. He probably feels like he doesn’t want to drag you down with him. Fuck everyone saying an affair. He feels like a burden so you giving him space is him pushing you away because he feels you’re better off with out him. AT LEAST TRY AND GET HIM HELP FIRST.
Depression is extremely hard on anyone but for men it’s even harder due to society. Every one will suggest therapy for him, which is a starting point but remember society and men on that… I suggest therapy for yourself as a partner. Therapy could help you learn what to watch for, how to listen to him, give you ideas of different ways to communicate.
If you truly love him, be his support
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be there for him. support him. let him know your there when he wants to talk. comfort him. i have major depression on top of ppd. and thats the biggest thing. is just be there for ur husband. and reassurance him u love him
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Holy crap these women saying “man up” while he is dealing with depression obviously haven’t felt it or have been around someone who has
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He flat out is telling you he doesn’t want to be together anymore. It’s probably more depressing him because he isn’t happy. He’s clearly telling you how he feels….MOVE ON.
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Take a trip to the Caribbean for a couple of months. Lots are coming and working from home. Maybe you need time away to remember to appreciate each other and the simple things in life. Anguilla, St.maarten, St.Kitts are great places. St.Thomas is a US Island maybe you should visit there if it’s easier for you with a US passport. Therapy will help but change of scenery can be soo beneficial. My prayers are with you both🙏🏾
maybe hes depressed bc hes not happy anymore
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Help him find healthy hobbies by himself or with his friends. I became VERY depressed in my last relationship because I lost myself. All I became was a partner. Help him find him again
As a wife in the same position…Give him time he will open up when he wants to
Deal with it? Kinda rude. Maybe ask how you can HELP with his depression.
Respect his boundaries. He asked for space. He is telling you want he wants with no games. Maybe in time you can reconcile, but right now in order to support him, he needs space.
He may be realizing his life isn’t what he expected and needs to make changes for him to get better.
I’m sorry it’s not what you want, but it’s what he needs.
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Just listen to him, no judgment or opinions try to get him to open up and talk. Don’t be too assertive about it, baby steps…
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I went thru this with my husband about 4 years ago , he was unhappy didn’t want to come home to see me , only the kids .he wanted a divorce and didn’t really understand what was going on. I told him he’s probably depressed and that I was here for him . We would have family dinners still together and play with the kids and get them all ready for bed and in bed together , than once the kids were in bed , we would do our own things . We did t talk unless we was around the kids and even than it wasn’t much. It took close to a year and he got himself better . It takes time it was really hard for me and I know it was really hard for him to . We got thru it tho and we are still very happy together. Somthimes one of you just has a rough spot
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Is he seeking help is my first question?
I struggle with this myself. My man is depressed and won’t talk about it or seek help. I have no idea how to help him, if I’m being completely honest. I try to be there for him and be less “demanding” when he’s in a mood but . It isn’t easy but I do understand depression myself
My husband was depressed and I could see that he was at his lowest point. He asked for help with financial support and he got no support whatsoever. His job was quite full on required alot of his time. He was taking medication tramadol for a fall from a horse. End of contract work for myself and financial stress unable to pay for your mortgage. Everything just built up and he was crying and would not get help from people he trusted. Don’t just dump him because the problem is huge you can get help. You need a counsellor who he will listen to. My husband’s medicine is horses that was his help however when the horses started to interrupt with every day life and priorities. Your kids your wife and your family your job has ended and new things to do. Study something to help keep the mind busy. Why do you love him remember that the great memories most definitely outweigh the dark times. Go outside for a walk buy a dog a family pet to love and cuddle we have a cat and a dog. Don’t give up on him. He needs proper help and someone to talk to. Help him to find himself again. It’s a long road but talk to your family and friends.
You prepare to be a single parent. Suggest heavily he sees a doctor and therapist. If he’s unable to care for children document it. See a lawyer/s. He has to want to work on his mental health.
Just give him the space he needs… Show him how independent you are an maybe enjoy yourself a lil break from him an focus on making sure you are happy… If he wants it he will be drawn back into you!
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This is Not the time to make life changing decisions.
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Sounds like a red flag
Love him. Get him help. He needs you NOW more than ever. Its not easy, its really fucking hard, on both of you. Just be there.
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Support him from a distance if space is what he needs
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I know exactly how your feeling. My partner has SAD depression every winter. It’s horrible to see him like that and it’s so hard to live with it. Support him and love him but make sure your boundaries are clear, you know he is depressed and you love him but you will not accept walking on egg shells, getting snapped at or being treated like you don’t exist. He won’t want to talk he is bottling it up. I really hope you get through this, it’s hard but it’s worth it. I stand by my man in his darkest days and he has my back with anything I need, it’s not always easy but it is always worth it. Good luck love xxx
My ex husband said this to me. I tried giving him his space and it just made everything worse and worse. There’s no coming back from it. Save yourself the messy breakup and get out now.
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If it were you, you wouldn’t want him to give up on you. Give him space, but try to encourage him speaking with his physician. Help is out there
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I’ve been where your husband is before and have wanted to leave. My husband gave me my space but was strong and there when I needed him. We are happier and stronger than ever. In sickness and health! Be his rock, love him from a distance if necessary, but don’t give up on him now. We all have our ups and downs
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My husband lost his mother and went into a depression as well. Honestly, what worked best for him was getting a dog. It brought us closer together and it gave him something to take pride in again. Our pup makes him feel important and loved.
Medication and counseling
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You both should do counseling both together and separately.
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Get try to convince him help! Don’t give him too much space, then his mind may go into dark places. I have depression and I am thankful that my husband didn’t listen when I said I didn’t love him and I wanted “space”. He fought for me and made sure I got the help I and we needed.
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find his favorite music, play it a lot…then counseling and meds
Let him know you are there and you love him. Depression is an ugly disorder. It makes a person believe terrible things about themselves. Try to be patient and supportive.