Hi moms I’m so embarrassed but I need advice how do I discipline my son he’s 3 he’s so bad he threw my mother a lotion in her face I try talking to him but he won’t listen to me I’m exhausted I can’t go out to public either … I talk to my husband about it and he says it’s my fault and I’m a failure as a mother …
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Unfortunately, I have nothing helpful to offer. However, I did want to mention that I too have a 3 year old… and I often feel wayyyy out of my league. You are not alone. I hope this post brings you some helpful advice!
Sounds like the husband needs some discipline. Children will imitate and that includes respect or lack of. That being said all children are different, be firm yet understanding. And Good luck.
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I don’t have any sound advice because I’m in this season myself. I just keep trying to redirect him and tell him why his behavior isn’t acceptable. I also try to remember that’s he’s only 3 and while I can tell him the proper way to act, he’s still little and has big feelings and emotions. Also, remember this is a phase and it will pass just like the rest. 
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There is certainly a lot that could be said. I think you are a great mom. One who is tired and probably feels alone and overwhelmed. I think at three they are becoming or wanting to be more independent. Testing the waters. I think sometimes they feel unsure and really want to see if you in fact will lead. They want to see if you are sure. It is hard. They are pretty smart and can feel conflict, fear, etc. There is no rule book. Don’t beat yourself up. Keep trying. Be matter of fact, blunt with whatever discipline you choose. Try not to let emotions on your part happen. Try to find anything your child does positive and point it out. Try to think of what type of discipline you are ok with and then be consistent. I read of books about stuff I could do when mine were growing up. Get involved in a church and try and make friends. Other moms to be supportive. Please do not think you are the only one and don’t drowned in this alone. You do not have to be alone. Talking with other mothers will help. You are both in new territory. You can do this.
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You are not a failure. It’s hard being a mom. Have you tired time outs? A spot in the house where he has to sit for 3 min (one min per age) when he gets up just put him back over and over until he sits for 3 min. When he breaks a rule tell him no, we don’t throw things and then put in in time out. Once he sits for the 3 min then let him up. It may take some time to work but he will soon understand if he does that then he gets time out alone with no fun. It’s hard having to keep sitting him in time out but it paid off for me when mine was that little.
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What about him? What does he think his role is?
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- The husband is a problem! 2. Positive reinforcement.
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I’d take something away from him give him time out in his room make him sit on his bed tell him till he behaves he’s not coming out have to be consistent with children need to be taught
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Man I feel you I feel yya in honesty ur not alone . Im going thru something similar …
we need to be strong for each other …lately the hitting n raising of their voices …n. the biting
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Your husband sounds awful, i can’t even imagine what other things he must say to you. 
Time out, ignoring bad behavior, rewarding positive behavior, comfort the “victim”, remember he is 3 and still learning. You are definitely not a failure though. There are so many options. I don’t believe physically disciplining ever helps because I fully support the fact that spanking will teach him “I’m angry I hit”
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First of all you need to check the husband’s behavior because that’s unacceptable. He’s just as responsible. Second gentle parenting only works if you know how to do it. You can take away things he likes to do and try teaching him how to recognize and some some self soothing techniques for when he feels like acting like that
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Redirection works well with 3 year Olds. For throwing things however I would take a favorite toy or activity away or a special treat or use a time out. Depends on the severity, in your case a 3 minute time out and talking about throwing would be my go to. At that age they can’t focus for long so I would use as least words as possible to get my point across. “Throwing things hurts people” “we don’t throw things”
Swap that but put him in time out,show him your the boss.
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The husband sounds like a big part of the problem. He needs to do his part in disciplining and raising. It’s not solely your responsibility.
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Contact Chidrens Home Society. I think they still offer parenting classes. Like Love and Logic. They have awesome tools to help parents.
If I was out in public and my kids started throwing a tantrum then we immediately leave and go home or I took them to the car while hubby got our food boxed up. A few times we hired a babysitter so they didn’t get to go at all.
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Definitely take away something he loves. My kids are aloud only a few hrs a day on electronics. So if there bad they get it taken away . Or they don’t get to go with me when I go to the store. Don’t get me wrong I have no problem swatting them if needed. I have a 4,6,7,8 yr olds. The fact your asking or advice proves your a good mom ! Tell your husband to step up it takes both parents in the home to raise kids. Shouldn’t only be put one 1
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Okay first off, you need to lose the husband.
Secondly, maybe he is seeking attention. (The child) Ive noticed my toddler is worse behaved when his dad isn’t around versus when his dad is home.
They are toddlers, they don’t know how to express their emotions yet. That’s where we as parents come in to teach them how to express and handle their emotions. Redirect, talk to him and explain that he hurt his grandma and help him to understand why he can’t do things like that.
Dad can kick rocks. He sounds like a POS. You coming here to ask for advice just proves you care and that you are a good mom.
Every kid is different so how you discipline them can be very different you just have to find what works for him is it a timeout is it taking away a favorite toy is it not having time on a tablet or does he need a little spanking on the butt 
you just have to find what works and be very consistent once you discipline them a couple times they really do start to get the point there’s still might have days where they act out because they might be tired or hungry you know take that into consideration too but for the most part kids usually learn pretty quickly you just have to stay on top of it and be consistent in whatever works
Have you talked to his doctor? Maybe get him in behavioral health and tested for autism? My son was the exact same way and he is autistic and deals with sensory overload
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Whipping… Put the fear of god in him. Better do it now or he will end up institutionalized. This gentle parenting crap isnt gonna work. Pick up rocks in the yard. Clear out his room except for what he absolutely needs. Who cares that he is 3. He needs to know there are consequences to his actions.
It’s not your fault. Watch super nanny on tv. What she dose work but there could be he has ADHD or asd that’s making him like he is. Strict boundaries really help and sticking to your word and time out
My son had outbursts like that when he was younger… we adopted a color wheel (the same his daycare had). good behavior- he got to move his clip up, bad behavior it moved down. His privileges for the next day depended on what color he ended the day before on.
Things need to be like years ago. No talking or time outs or taking something special away…just a good smack in the butt works wonders
Watch some Super Nanny videos on YouTube…she has techniques for all behaviors, you just have to follow them and be consistent
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You are NOT a failure!! How dare he😡 listen, consistency is KEY. the time outs for certain amount of time, be firm, he keeps getting up you keep putting him in time out over and over and over again.
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You can’t discipline a three year per se, you correct behavior and move on. Is he showing average impulsiveness or more than you think is normal?
Wow. So much wrong here.
It’s impossible to negotiate with a 3-year old. Learn how to give a proper time-out. Your child must know that there are consequences. Don’t try to be his friend or big sister.
Second, you and your husband must get on the same page. He needs to be supportive and you need to be a disciplinarian. Your son needs you to be.
Third, it sounds like you might all benefit from couples counseling or family therapy. Your husband shouldn’t be calling you, “a failure of a mother.” Something else is going on here.
Watch some episodes of Supernanny, enroll your child in preschool, stop getting down on yourself. Instead focus on enlisting support so you can do better.
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Mama u still with that man?
123 Magic. Look.it up and watch videos on YouTube. Life saver!! But it takes real commitment but it is worth it!
No it’s not your Fault you sit down and explain to your child that it’s okay to throw toy’s or lotion in anybody’s face swat his butt and say that if you don’t stop you are going to put him in Time out.
Ahhh I took my 4yr old to the arcade tonight he was being naughty… I left with him kicking and screaming so embarrassing aswelll… I showed him im meant business had no choice he has been relentless, yes dad needs to step on, all the best and your not a shit mom just the fact that you feel that way confirms it, keep strong it will all workout xxx
So your husband doesn’t participate in raising his child? Bad behavior is all your fault?
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Kids just completely suck. As toddlers, teens, leaving the nest. My Nan always said to me, it’s just a stage. Dont stress on little kid behavior.
Behavior is communication in young children. You need to figure what he is trying to communicate to you. If he’s looking for attention, try to ignore behaviors that will not cause harm to himself or others. You can role play social situations to practice more appropriate ways to interact with others. You can have him help someone that he hurt to feel better to help him develop a sense of empathy. You can teach him about emotions and more appropriate ways to express his feelings if he is feeling angry, sad, overwhelmed, etc. Introduce emotion charts so that your child can learn what a variety of emotions look like and they can use the chart by pointing to a certain emotion if they are unable to verbally identify their emotions. You can give him a calm down corner with items that encourage more appropriate way to calm down (pinwheels to help him learn to breathe and cool down, stress balls, fidget toys, books about feelings, etc). You can use redirection in some situations as well. If he is throwing a bottle of lotion at his grandma you can give him something that is ok to throw like a fuzzy Pom Pom that would not physically harm anyone or do any damage.
Also, remember that these behaviors did not start overnight and they will not go away overnight. Keep working at it and be CONSISTENT! Consistency is going to extremely important. Also, remember to model appropriate self-regulation strategies to him. They often mimmick what they see.
Big Little Feelings
Those are a few of my go to resources for families that ask for resources to help teach their young child/children self-regulation skills.
You are not a failure. I think perhaps the strategies you are currently using are ineffective, but you definitely are not a failure. Keep trying strategies until you find one or a few that work for you and your child. Parenting is hard. There is no right and wrong ways to do it, especially since all children are different. Don’t be too hard in yourself and don’t allow others to make you feel like a failure.
Your husband says its your fault and you are a failure?? To be fair it is more likely Your husband fault as your son has probably picked up on how much your husband disrespects you .
The hell? You’re a bad mother? Sounds like the 3 year old is acting like his dad. Timeout works in our house or taking away a priveledge such as a favorite toy or dessert. I’ve raised two kids and now help raise my three grandsons. Consistency is key here, I call it “act a fool” or “actions have consequences”. If they act a fool they get one warning, acts a fool again then his action has a consequence. Remember he’s only three he’s still new to figuring out right from wrong.
He’s 3 and your husband is an idiot 
You absolutely are a failure. But you can change it.
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He is testing you. Time to show him who is in charge. Dad needs to have a little talk with him.
He’s 3! 3 year olds are total jerks, which is exactly why it’s my absolute favorite age!
It’s likely a phase, a normal phase, as they are experiencing BIG emotions for the first time. They need to be taught how to handle big emotions and they need you to be their safe place.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t know many 3 year olds who are easy to “reason” with. Haha.
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What my mom did and what I did apparently is frowned upon now. Which is why kids act like they do.
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Do all the things mentioned above. BUT BE CONSISTENT. Don’t give in because you are tired. You will see a change.
Duct tape and bubble wrap found at any hardware store.
Watch Supernanny she will show you how she teaches families all of the world how to discipline their kids and be a good family to each other
Counseling. Sounds like he has behavior problems out of your control