What is y’all’s advice on discussing divorce? It won’t go well, my husband will be very upset I think. We’ve been down this road over a year ago because he was addicted to video games and I grew feelings for a coworker. I had completely fell out of love with him at that point and he was devastated and gave all the video games up and was willing to work on things with me but unfortunately he’s became addicted to other things and games on his phone… once again I feel on the back burning but worse because I’m working 2 jobs and feel like I’m doing everything. I can’t take it anymore… I’m literally about to fucking lose it. We have so many plans for our future, but I can’t hold that back from my happiness and he just doesn’t listen to me… I need help, I need advice!!
You see a lawyer and file and then have him served. No conversation needs to be had to discuss doing it.
My question is, did you develop feelings for a coworker? Or did you physically sleep with the person and cheat on your husband & that’s why you want a divorce ? ( not saying you did it’s a genuine question for more context )
These things can be small and can be worked out in couples therapy, and try to work it out ? I’m not married but when you say vows, shouldn’t you do everything in your power to work it out ? For better or for worse ? For sickness and in health ? Does that not mean anything ? I might be a bit blunt but I’m genuinely curious …
Sounds like he’s willing to try to do better just doesn’t know what direction to take ?? Ya know COMPROMISE…. it’s what marriage is about !!! I’d talk to him first and for peats sake STOP “ growing feelings “ for coworkers! People think marriage’s are so “ disposable “ what ever happened to keep your vows ??? I can assure you … the grass is NOT greener on the other side !!!
One could ask that if before developing “feelings” for a coworker you pre-screened their personal time at home? you wouldnt like to find out they’re buddy’s in their online game
All the things you just told us, explain to him you have tried but it’s time. Then just do it.
Just go to the court house and file divorce papers then have him served the divorce papers.
I think you should try marriage counseling first before divorce. But I get it- once you lose feelings it’s hard to get them back. But maybe seek out some mediation for a healthy and obviously much needed conversation first. Bc it sounds like you still have feelings
You made vows to each other. Seems like you’re giving up too easily. Try marriage counseling. If you divorce don’t get married again bc you clearly don’t understand what it means.
Well discussing it gives the opportunity to talk you out of it and it sounds like things won’t change id honestly just do it so he knows ur not playing and it’s serious
You just need him to recognize that he has replaced the video games with other things. So the root of problems aren’t being addressed and obviously therapy hasn’t been making improvements or changes.
Y’all need counseling lol. Individual and couples.
From experience, file and then talk. Otherwise he’s gonna try and beg his way out of it again
Holidays are really not the time either
I think buy putting on here is telling him.
Just speak your truth. Don’t sugar coat it and minimize it. Put it all out there
Have your lawyer talk to him or have your family and friends around you when you talk to him
Just be honest…he dropped the ball
Sing the song through out the kitchen while cooking dinner and serving
Run to that court house baby! Throw his stuff out and change the locks!
Maybe he’s addicted to them to hide his pain because his wife can’t be faithful. His way of dealing. You did worse.
I don’t like that you’re being judged so harshly by some of these people. You have us a brief synopsis of what’s going on. It sounds like he made commitments to you that he didn’t keep… It sounds like he promised to get better and actually got worse. No one can tell you what your limits are but you. If you can look back on it and feel good and say you did everything you could before you let go, then that’s it. I would file and then tell him. Sometimes we allow ourselves moments of weakness for people we love… We can get talked out of things we actually need because we are trying to give too much to someone we love… This can be super damaging to us. So just sit back and think on it. Like I said, if you can look back and say to yourself that you did everything you possibly could to save your marriage before you let go, then I would let go. If not, then I’d put in the extra work and see what happens. You never know … Ultimately - Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about doing what’s best for you. You have to keep yourself healthy and happy in order for your relationships to be healthy and happy.
You don’t have to discuss anything. File and let your lawyer do the talking
You sound pretty controlling I understand it’s important to spend quality time together and be made to feel wanted however video games? Really. You’re gunna cheat on your husband with your co worker and divorce him over a video game addiction instead of idk counseling what the heck. You don’t deserve him file thoes papers in my opinion save his life.
Have you tried counseling?
Narcissist actions on your part. Just because he plays games doesn’t give you the right to get interested in someone else. Not everything revolves around you
You need a plan. Multiple. Because your friends coworkers family everyone will have feelings and advice. But each situation is different each financial situation is different and what your friend may have got in hers you will probably not get in yours. Your going to lose friends and family so be prepared for hard days alone. Know that memories are what will hurt the most because everything will be one once you get divorced. Resturaunt parks etc will remind you that it failed. And it’s through the worst days you make it to the best days. But you need to have a plan.
So you’ve meet someone?
Tell him the truth
See a lawyer , find out about house and other belongings then go get the paperwork done .
You cheated cause he plays video games should have been the end there
Wait, he played video games so you cheated on him?
Marriage counseling works wonders
You should go to Al-Anon. It’s for friends and family of alcoholics and other addicts. Meetings are free and will help you heal. Seeing a therapist who specializes in addiction (individually or as a couple) will also help.￼ Being in a relationship with an addict doesn’t end when the relationship ends. Patterns, fears, etc are ingrained. Therapy will help you end your marriage as smoothly as possible and position you for success in your new relationship.
If theres any part of u that may want to try and make it work id try counseling. Maybe move out temporarily and see how life away from eachother makes u feel. If u are 100% done and ready to leave then file first tell him afterwards so hes not kind of blindsided when hes served. If ur not in love and miserable and dont want to keep trying to force it to work then absolutely leave.
You obviously want out, he isn’t changing. So go file for divorce and serve him. That’s it. Leave it at that since he obviously doesn’t want to talk.