How can I find myself?

What are some ways to find yourself again? I feel like I have lost sight of who I am outside of being a mother. I don’t like a couple things about myself so I am working on changing those things, but I would love ideas on how to be me again…well find me again.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I find myself?

You need to make time for yourself.

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Make time for yourself. Think of the things you miss about yourself and start from there. If you liked going out for lunch with a friend do that. If you have a partner have him watch the child so you can go out for a couple of hours.

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What did you like to do before you became a mother? For me I always enjoyed art. So when I have the time I like to paint and draw when it’s not for anyone else lol (Artist). I also love planting, gardening. Going to concerts, singing, playing the piano, reading books, going to the gym, roller blading, boxing. You just have to make time for yourself. Pick up a new hobby, I want to learn how to use a sewing machine lol

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Make a list of what you use to enjoy and what you enjoy now and see how you can do those things
Hire a sitter if you enjoyed outdoors like walking sports etc

Take a hot bath for at least 30mins and take it absolutely alone… that way you can fully enjoy it… start doing things alone… get your nails done or do them yourself… pamper yourself… find little hobbies you can pass down like knitting or gardening

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I feel like I lost my identity too

What brings YOU joy ???
*start there !!!
Repeat & Continue to find new things -best wishes 🫶🏼

Listen to rebelution, I felt so lost when I was alone and pregnant with my first son. This band helped through. Meant to be and sky is the limit. All their songs are good but try those first. I hope it helps❤️

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Fund yourself through service! Volunteer!

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I feel this way too and have for a long time…it sounds like such a simple question…What do you like or enjoy? But it’s not that simple. I dont know what I like or enjoy anymore. And it’s hard for me to want to spend time doing stuff that doesn’t involve my family.

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Try new things. Try crafts. Try exercises. Try shows and movies. Try cooking. Try it all till you find that joy. And be patient with yourself.

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As someone who also suffers from feeling lost, the only help anyone has ever given is to find something you enjoy doing. However, I have too much anxiety to enjoy things like going to the salon. I have also tried numerous crafts and hobbies. Those I seem to enjoy for a little while then it is right back to feeling the same way. What do you do when you can’t find anything you truly enjoy???

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Full time school helps with more me time :gift_heart:

In addition to looking to your pre-kid past, try these ideas. Try new fun things, join groups or teams until you find what feeds your soul. Who are you besides wife and mother? Sometimes we even lose our wife/partner identity by being “Mom” all the time too. Rediscover romance!

Start small: a dinner date, try a new cuisine, have a quickie, a manicure, a walk in the park, a day trip with or without friends, a drop-in exercise class, a religious service, a volunteer day, contact a legislator on an issue important to you. Then commit more to what you like & what fits how you want to see yourself.

It will make you more resilient too. For one, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Secondly, the more “identities” you have, the better able you are to weather life. When I lost my job, I didn’t lose all of myself, because I was a wife, mother, dancer, gardener, social butterfly and feminist. What is your vision for life after your kids are grown and flown? Work towards that.

This should be a fun assignment of discovery. Enjoy!

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You need to have an occasional girls night out…away from hubby and kids. Even if it’s meeting some church girls or old high school friends for a dinner somewhere. You come home feeling refreshed and actually missing the kids and hubby.

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Find a hobby or hobbies, something that you enjoy.also, start meditating. :rose:

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I’m with you there. I don’t do anything for myself anymore. I just feel so fucking unmotivated and fatigue all the time.

I felt the same way recently. I started making time for things I was interested in, spent time with friends, and am slowly getting myself back.

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Take a class at your local community center. Whether it’s art & crafts, cooking, learning a new language. Or do a paint & sip art class. You can also volunteer at an organization &/or church.

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Take a walk with or without music… Breathe it all in while you walk. Then release it. Do it as many times as you need to. Do not set a limit, do not restrict yourself. Take that time for you :gift_heart:

After my separation with my ex husband. I literally went and did all of the fun things with the kids. I had such a blast. I mean I was still momming but I loved it and my sisters would tag along and best part was I didn’t have a negative person holding me back. I am a weirdo and love family time which is my downtime.

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Try to find time to take up a hobby. Do you crochet? Read? Paint? Write? Try to find an hour or so to indulge in those activities. Take a nature walk. See if you can arrange a dinner out with the girls. Do something you used to do before you had your children. You’ll feel lots better.

I started experimenting with old and new things and discovered I’m a super creative person. I love art, crochet, knitting, crafting, baking from scratch, listening to music while I garden . I’m basically a grandma without grand kids but those are the things I love . It took some trial and error but I definitely say experiment ! Try new things, don’t put pressure on yourself to love things or hers love and do what makes you happy . :grin: